《站在马桶前想什么呢?》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:07] 中午呢
[00:00:08] 喝小饮
[00:00:09] 穷到只能去吃快餐
[00:00:11] 这饭菜一道啊
[00:00:12] 我就嘀咕了一句
[00:00:13] 哎
[00:00:13] 最讨厌吃鸡蛋了
[00:00:15] 小尹呢
[00:00:16] 立马回了我一句
[00:00:17] 那你吃我豆腐
[00:00:18] 我吃你蛋呀
[00:00:21] 嗯
[00:00:21] 这话不能乱说
[00:00:25] 失落的缘
[00:00:27] 心里安静点
[00:00:28] 心里安静
[00:00:30] 前两天
[00:00:31] 小颖偶遇了他们的一个邻居
[00:00:33] 是一个大娘
[00:00:34] 人呢是挺热情的
[00:00:36] 非要给小颖介绍对象
[00:00:38] 小颖不想去相亲
[00:00:39] 就恶作剧了一下
[00:00:40] 说哎呀
[00:00:42] 您别操心了
[00:00:43] 您看我这肚子
[00:00:44] 像不像怀孕三个月的
[00:00:46] 唉
[00:00:47] 结果现在小颖她爸妈非要拖他去医院检查呀
[00:00:51] 小颖能说
[00:00:52] 我发誓我真的只是吃胖了
[00:00:54] 好吗我知道曾经说的话不
[00:00:59] 我知道最后走过自己的尊严
[00:01:02] 这件事情之后呢
[00:01:03] 小颖呢
[00:01:04] 就下定决心要减肥了
[00:01:07] 晚上饿得他直发抖啊
[00:01:09] 后来上厕所的时候呢
[00:01:11] 站起来头都是晕乎乎的
[00:01:13] 就倚着站了一会儿
[00:01:14] 这时候他妈来上厕所
[00:01:16] 就看到他一直站在马桶前
[00:01:18] 就问了一句
[00:01:19] 小尹
[00:01:20] 你站在马桶前是在想什么呢
[00:01:23] 你是晚餐没吃饱
[00:01:30] 相信在流行的人生肯定是西方人眼睛
[00:01:36] 今儿在路上呢
[00:01:37] 碰到一对情侣吵架
[00:01:39] 女的气不过
[00:01:40] 还要准备动手了
[00:01:41] 男的呢
[00:01:42] 就在边上说了一句
[00:01:43] 你咬我呀啊
[00:01:44] 女的呢
[00:01:45] 就说我不吃屎
[00:01:50] 对不起
[00:01:51] 最近呢
[00:01:52] 我就发现现在的人啊
[00:01:54] 真的是脾气越来越暴躁了
[00:01:56] 今天在游乐园玩的时候呢
[00:01:57] 我就听到有两个男人在寒暄
[00:02:00] 其中一个说
[00:02:01] 这个是你儿子呀
[00:02:02] 都这么大了
[00:02:03] 长得这么漂亮呢
[00:02:04] 我就说了一句
[00:02:05] 指不定是谁的呢
[00:02:08] 然后他们两个就追着我打
[00:02:09] 如果是我的语言
[00:02:13] 请你安静点
[00:02:15] 请你安静点
[00:02:18] 后来在路上碰到了一个小姑娘
[00:02:21] 她问我说
[00:02:21] 哥哥你多高啊
[00:02:23] 我说一米七啊
[00:02:24] 他又问我
[00:02:25] 那你多中呢
[00:02:27] 我说170 呢
[00:02:30] 小姑娘呢
[00:02:30] 就呆呆的看着我说
[00:02:32] 那你为什么长得不是正方形呀
[00:02:36] 好像是挺有道理的呀
[00:02:47] 我知道我有一个书啊
[00:02:51] 和我表妹呢
[00:02:52] 也有好几年都没有见了
[00:02:53] 前段时间呢
[00:02:54] 这书回来呀
[00:02:55] 看见表妹之后就说了一句话说哎呀
[00:02:58] 真是女大十八变呀
[00:03:00] 这孩子小的时候长得多好看呀
[00:03:05] 我做
[00:03:05] 我自己分辨
[00:03:07] 心里安静点
[00:03:08] 心里安静点
[00:03:11] 对老师说
[00:03:12] 哪一句成语形容一个人丑到了极点
[00:03:14] 小明站起来说
[00:03:15] 奇丑无比
[00:03:16] 老师又问
[00:03:17] 还有更具体一点的吗
[00:03:19] 小明又说
[00:03:20] 有点像你
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