《The Biggest Aspidistra in the World》歌词

[00:00:00] The Biggest Aspidistra in the World - Gracie Fields
[00:00:11] For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot
[00:00:14] On the whatnot near the 'atstand in the 'all
[00:00:18] It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe
[00:00:22] Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall
[00:00:26] So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree
[00:00:30] And he's planted it against the garden wall
[00:00:33] It shot up like a rocket 'til it's nearly reached the sky
[00:00:38] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
[00:00:42] We couldn't see the top of it it got so bloomin' high
[00:00:46] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
[00:00:50] When father's had a snoot full at his pub 'The Bunch of Grapes'
[00:00:56] He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes
[00:00:59] No you'll find him in his bear-skin playing Tarzan of the apes
[00:01:04] Off the biggest aspidistra in the world
[00:01:10] We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade
[00:01:15] So they put the water rates up half a crown
[00:01:19] The roots stuff up the drains grow along the country lanes
[00:01:22] And they came up half a mile outside the town
[00:01:26] Once we hired an auditorium for a hot house
[00:01:31] But a jealous rival went and burnt it down
[00:01:37] The tom cats and their sweethearts love to spend their evenings out
[00:01:42] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world
[00:01:47] They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout
[00:01:51] From the biggest aspidistra in the world
[00:01:56] The dogs all come around for miles a lovely sight to see
[00:02:01] They sniff around for hours and hours and wag their tails with glee
[00:02:06] So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree
[00:02:12] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world
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