《J C Cohen》歌词

[00:00:00] J C Cohen (Live) - Allan Sherman

[00:00:05] Listen all you children to my sad refrain

[00:00:11] About a subway conductor on a runaway train

[00:00:15] Squeezing people into cars he won his fame

[00:00:20] Yeah and John Charles Cohen was the great man's name

[00:00:30] J C Cohen what a great conductor

[00:00:32] IRT that's a subway line

[00:00:35] And if you gotta travel uptown

[00:00:38] He's a greater conductor than Leonard Bernstein

[00:00:44] 'Twas on a Sunday in the summer and from everywhere

[00:00:47] People planned to take a subway to the World's Fair

[00:00:50] A half a million people tried to push and jar

[00:00:53] All of them determined to get in one car

[00:00:59] But the IRT depended on their finest men

[00:01:02] J C Cohen could pack a subway like a sardine can

[00:01:05] He pushed the people up and back and 'round about

[00:01:07] He squeezed so many in he squeezed the engineer out

[00:01:11] J C Cohen what a great conductor

[00:01:14] How he'd moan step to the rear

[00:01:17] J C Cohen he really had a problem

[00:01:19] On a subway train without an engineer

[00:01:26] J C tried to get into the engineer's place

[00:01:28] But when he look inside the cab he saw a strange man's face

[00:01:32] A half pint drunk with a full pint bottle

[00:01:35] He emptied out the bottle and he yelled full throttle

[00:01:41] They passed Columbus Circle doing 82

[00:01:44] 'Couple minutes later they were under Bronx Zoo

[00:01:46] J C shuddered and he said I guess

[00:01:49] This used to be a local but it's now an express

[00:01:53] J C Cohen what a great conductor

[00:01:55] Kept his head when everyone was tense

[00:01:58] He said when we pass the city limits

[00:02:01] Everybody pays another fifteen cents

[00:02:11] J C said we're heading north my friends

[00:02:13] But not a man alive knows where the subway ends

[00:02:16] The train went under Albany at 90 flat

[00:02:19] And governor Rockefeller hollered what was that

[00:02:25] A lady said to J C Cohen with indignation

[00:02:28] If this is Albany then you have passed my station

[00:02:31] So either you should take me back to Fifty ninth Street

[00:02:34] Or ask one of these gentlemen to give me his seat

[00:02:38] J C Cohen what a great conductor

[00:02:40] J C Cohen noticed something odd

[00:02:43] When he saw lobsters on the roadbed

[00:02:46] He said I got a feeling we're beneath Cape Cod

[00:02:55] Oh well the train kept speeding to the north my friends

[00:02:59] Finally came to where the tunnel ends

[00:03:01] When they came up to the surface from the long long hole

[00:03:04] They were 27 inches from the great North Pole

[00:03:11] J C hollered everybody out

[00:03:13] This is the end of the line beyond the shadow of a doubt

[00:03:16] They went out to get some fresh air and before they took a whiff

[00:03:19] Cohen and all the passengers were frozen stiff

[00:03:23] J C Cohen what a great conductor

[00:03:26] Bless his soul he ran out of luck

[00:03:29] J C Cohen he was really frozen

[00:03:31] And he had to be brought home in a Good Humor truck

[00:03:39] When they told Mrs Cohen that she'd lost her man

[00:03:48] She said must you interrupt me when I'm playing pan

[00:03:55] Then she said to her partner Mrs R J Rosen

[00:04:01] Cohen was a lovely husband but he's no good frozen

[00:04:07] Then she went to her little boy and took his hand

[00:04:13] And she said I'm going to take you out to Disneyland

[00:04:18] So Melvin little darling don't you weep or wail

[00:04:24] 'Cause you got another papa on the monorail

[00:04:27] Got another papa on the monorail