《《手术》郭德纲于谦2017最新相声》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成

[00:00:00] 这演出散了啊

[00:00:02] 我们都开车回北京啦

[00:00:03] 对于老师身份

[00:00:11] 登自行车还翘起来开车啊

[00:00:13] 二八的28 28 管什么呀

[00:00:17] 不就自行车大点儿吗

[00:00:19] 能拖东西了

[00:00:20] 你那个有钱的姑娘真漂亮

[00:00:25] 长发飘飘

[00:00:26] 小腰

[00:00:27] 人家孩子自行车老师这回得着这个

[00:00:31] 怎么着都得看着啊

[00:00:33] 玩命啊

[00:00:34] 快扔过去了啊

[00:00:37] 到这儿一看这脸长得跟茄子似的

[00:00:40] 好骂

[00:00:41] 你老吓坏了

[00:00:42] 一捏炸翻过去了

[00:00:44] 真人摔在这儿来

[00:00:46] 大卡车

[00:00:47] 嗯嗯

[00:00:49] 把你胳膊压过去了

[00:00:50] 从这儿压过去

[00:00:51] 压过去之后呢

[00:00:52] 司机纳闷

[00:00:52] 哎啊

[00:00:53] 我到走错了就回来了

[00:00:58] 才回来琢磨琢磨

[00:01:01] 哎

[00:01:02] 倒是没错

[00:01:02] 哎

[00:01:04] 我想好了再走行不行啊

[00:01:06] 这个还是错了

[00:01:08] 哎呀

[00:01:09] 他解恨来的是吧

[00:01:11] 来来回回一个多小时啊啊

[00:01:14] 他走了

[00:01:14] 他走了

[00:01:15] 压烂了你这这这是换算完了

[00:01:18] 哎哟

[00:01:18] 老百姓都吓坏了

[00:01:20] 这都等着等着车走了是吧

[00:01:23] 快乐

[00:01:23] 嗯呀

[00:01:24] 流氓啦流氓了

[00:01:28] 像话吗

[00:01:28] 打电话吧

[00:01:31] 哥来了

[00:01:32] 奔下俩小护士说漂亮啊

[00:01:35] 是啊

[00:01:35] 一米七大个儿啊

[00:01:37] 连鬓络腮胡子

[00:01:39] 一巴掌块护心毛啊

[00:01:43] 拿这个打起来

[00:01:45] 啪

[00:01:45] 扔桌上一关门啊

[00:01:49] 拉到医院去了

[00:01:50] 屠宰场的吧

[00:01:51] 这是拉着医院进门

[00:01:54] 大夫看看这没事儿

[00:01:55] 这好弄是吗

[00:01:56] 得先打一针

[00:01:58] 这桌子

[00:02:01] 这脑袋了

[00:02:09] 没穿那么多啊

[00:02:10] 行行行行

[00:02:13] 跟变脸似的

[00:02:14] 一层一层的

[00:02:15] 哪儿变脸

[00:02:16] 变脸有脱裤子呢

[00:02:18] 完了

[00:02:19] 大夫打开文具盒

[00:02:20] 拿出圆珠笔来啊

[00:02:24] 画一圈儿干嘛呀

[00:02:25] 他怕打不准呢

[00:02:27] 瞄准用的啊

[00:02:28] 真啊

[00:02:30] 啊

[00:02:32] 哎呀呵

[00:02:35] 打完了啊嗯

[00:02:36] 行没事

[00:02:37] 嗯

[00:02:37] 好了嗯

[00:02:38] 拿去拿去句你这节之聚一下

[00:02:40] 哎

[00:02:41] 你不是坏了吗

[00:02:41] 在这儿换换新的啊

[00:02:43] 为了保证你这个整体都合适啊

[00:02:45] 这是从这打根儿上哪个上去打开这个电冰柜啊

[00:02:52] 翻到速冻饺子带鱼都a 找出来把车来了啊这句也搁冰柜里

[00:03:00] 门口干嘛呀

[00:03:03] 拿过来转过来擦擦

[00:03:06] 啊啊啊嗨X

[00:03:17] 这不聚合的吗

[00:03:18] 这不是据点

[00:03:20] 好撅

[00:03:21] 你撅他干嘛

[00:03:22] 直接捐不就完了吗

[00:03:24] 麻烦不好弄

[00:03:25] 没听说过

[00:03:30] 小护士拿盘子托着你的胳膊啊

[00:03:33] 后边儿倒膜

[00:03:34] 使倒模a 到磨出调薪胳膊假肢跟你一模一样

[00:03:38] 你这就送食堂去吃了

[00:03:41] 给端过来啊

[00:03:43] 给你拧好了螺丝磨色X 一模一样哦

[00:03:47] 这就行了

[00:03:48] 跟新的一样哦

[00:03:49] 你伸手你看

[00:03:50] 对你看

[00:03:50] 这俩一样不一样

[00:03:51] 这就是真的

[00:03:52] 这个真的一样吗

[00:03:54] 没问题了

[00:03:55] 嗯

[00:03:55] 你继续

[00:03:56] 你出去上班儿写东西写字

[00:03:58] 哎

[00:03:58] 你练武术啊

[00:04:00] 这不是武术啊

[00:04:01] 这都不带我都不带

[00:04:04] 就是就是不能打架

[00:04:05] 打架人家人家惹你打他打他啪一嘴巴

[00:04:09] 唉

[00:04:09] 你这没了哪

[00:04:11] 人家那叼着胳膊跑了啊

[00:04:14] 我给狗一嘴巴子

[00:04:16] 那您想这么多是吧

[00:04:17] 什么呀

[00:04:18] 胳膊能治

[00:04:19] 嗯

[00:04:19] 腿也行啊

[00:04:20] 大腿大腿也一样啊

[00:04:22] 行吗

[00:04:22] 胳膊好了你就上马路也去了

[00:04:24] 你啊

[00:04:25] 我这人没记性没

[00:04:26] 没在家呆不住出去呀

[00:04:29] 嗯

[00:04:31] 大乔

[00:04:33] 窗户外漂水蒸汽

[00:04:36] 拿耳朵一听

[00:04:36] 里边花冷水

[00:04:37] 想说话呢

[00:04:39] 怎么说

[00:04:39] 二姐给我擦擦后背

[00:04:48] 甭想啦

[00:04:49] 这个

[00:04:49] 这就是传说中的女澡堂子

[00:04:52] 干嘛还传说呀

[00:04:54] 所以我现在这种身份

[00:04:55] 嗯

[00:04:56] 我得看看看这

[00:04:57] 看看这首歌的墙上吧

[00:05:02] 呃

[00:05:04] 锅炉房啊

[00:05:05] 旁边的窗户材质呢

[00:05:07] 好吗

[00:05:07] 上错了

[00:05:08] 又下来了

[00:05:09] 下来四个保安等着呢

[00:05:10] 嗯

[00:05:11] 干什么去呢

[00:05:12] 八米澡堂子的

[00:05:13] 我亏心不亏啊

[00:05:16] 追在后面拿着棍子追你

[00:05:18] 哎呀

[00:05:18] 玩命跑吧

[00:05:19] 你就跑一个跑啊

[00:05:21] 你这个终归不是很灵活

[00:05:22] 你知道还是假的吧

[00:05:24] 这个好吧

[00:05:25] 嗯

[00:05:25] 拐弯抹角你就上了

[00:05:27] 上了机动车逆行道逆行而来

[00:05:30] 大车哎哟了一下撞上了A 5 秒钟之后啊

[00:05:35] 你就睁开眼了哟

[00:05:36] 哎

[00:05:36] 挺奇怪

[00:05:37] 怎么了

[00:05:38] 我坐草地上了哟

[00:05:39] 刚才我明明在那桥跑呢

[00:05:41] 那桥那么远呢

[00:05:42] 那到这儿来了啊

[00:05:45] 身上没事儿啊

[00:05:47] 唉

[00:05:47] 这不错

[00:05:48] 太神奇了

[00:05:49] 这个啊

[00:05:51] 这个脚是谁的啊

[00:05:53] 放过去了吗

[00:05:55] 这这放过去还没明白呢

[00:05:58] 这个拿过来看吧

[00:06:00] 嗯

[00:06:01] 这个鞋很像我这支几个携带a

[00:06:05] 这袜子也很像我这只啊

[00:06:06] 就是那个

[00:06:07] 诶

[00:06:08] 这就是我的

[00:06:09] 可不是我

[00:06:10] 疼死我了

[00:06:11] 哎呀

[00:06:13] 我这人反应太慢了

[00:06:14] 疼死我了啊啊

[00:06:18] 这车来了啊

[00:06:19] 在这跟着我拿来来蹭

[00:06:23] 俩小护士下来了

[00:06:24] 一米七大高个

[00:06:25] 连鬓

[00:06:26] 络腮胡子

[00:06:27] 眉毛啊

[00:06:28] 扎起来

[00:06:28] 人儿趟车上关上门啊

[00:06:32] 走了

[00:06:33] 过十分钟

[00:06:33] 诶

[00:06:34] 回来了干嘛

[00:06:35] 内角忘拿了

[00:06:36] 嘿嘿

[00:06:37] 干什么来了

[00:06:38] 他们这是啊

[00:06:39] 来到医院带回汤喝就是

[00:06:41] 你摁住了捆裤子

[00:06:43] 哎呀

[00:06:44] 行啦行

[00:06:46] 我长记性

[00:06:46] 少穿点儿好不好

[00:06:48] 打圈啊

[00:06:50] 打针

[00:06:51] 完事儿打个冰棍

[00:06:52] 大剧掏出来了

[00:06:53] 大姐俩护士来着

[00:06:55] 嗯

[00:06:55] 这为了安全

[00:06:57] 从大腿根儿去也打嗝

[00:06:59] 这俩人还是撅下来的

[00:07:04] 拿到后到模式会出新的

[00:07:07] 出新的

[00:07:07] 你这个送食堂还是吃

[00:07:10] 拿回来弄好了啊

[00:07:11] 拿螺丝刀拧上紧着吧

[00:07:13] 啊

[00:07:14] 好啦

[00:07:15] 走路也没上楼下楼你出去跟小孩儿挑房子去

[00:07:20] 黑跳房子都行都行

[00:07:21] 那就没问题了

[00:07:22] 这回了不得了

[00:07:23] 咱们谁要惹你

[00:07:24] 你摘起大跨来抽他

[00:07:27] 要跑怎么追人家这个你砍他呀

[00:07:30] 哎呀

[00:07:30] 嗨

[00:07:31] 还跟人打什么架呀

[00:07:32] 我都这样

[00:07:33] 哼哼

[00:07:34] 都挺好都挺

[00:07:35] 就是上飞机

[00:07:36] 你这腿得托运

[00:07:37] 为什么

[00:07:38] 这算凶器你知道吗

[00:07:39] 这腿算兄算凶器啊

[00:07:42] 多好啊

[00:07:43] 脑袋也行脑袋

[00:07:47] 好了

[00:07:47] 歌也好了

[00:07:48] 你又出去野去了

[00:07:49] 还去跟家待不住

[00:07:51] 家里人不让出去

[00:07:52] 嗯

[00:07:53] 看着没人偷跑出来

[00:07:54] 把链子摘下扔那儿

[00:07:59] 我舌头出汗不出汗太热也有

[00:08:01] 没听说过

[00:08:02] 坐着歇会吧歇会吧

[00:08:04] 后边儿

[00:08:05] 后边儿修房

[00:08:06] 造一个钢筋水泥的坨子U 700来斤啊

[00:08:10] 嗯

[00:08:13] 还纳闷了

[00:08:16] 没人告诉我一声呢

[00:08:18] 怎么都不见了呢

[00:08:19] 嗯

[00:08:20] 低头咕咚一下子掉地下

[00:08:22] 拿手一摸领子边上

[00:08:24] 就这性脑门儿啊

[00:08:26] 这拍进去啦

[00:08:27] 又坏了

[00:08:27] 我又看不见呢

[00:08:28] 害怕了

[00:08:29] 喊爸了

[00:08:36] 我给你模仿声音

[00:08:37] 模仿什么呀

[00:08:38] 脑子在腔子里头呢啊

[00:08:40] 一会儿啊

[00:08:43] 蹭下俩小护士

[00:08:45] 一米七大高个

[00:08:46] 长发飘飘

[00:08:47] 长得这漂亮

[00:08:48] 退下来的空姐儿

[00:08:49] 穿着超短裙儿

[00:08:50] 看吧

[00:08:52] 这我看不见了

[00:08:54] 这栽进去你让我看什么呀是吧

[00:08:58] 搭上车拉着医院去啊大夫

[00:09:00] 瞧

[00:09:00] 这是他吗

[00:09:01] 我看着像啊看着像

[00:09:02] 您脱下裤子来看看是不是他不认识脸认识屁股是吗

[00:09:08] 看看好片了吗

[00:09:09] 嗯

[00:09:09] 没错似的

[00:09:10] 打针消毒都完事儿了

[00:09:12] 脑子撬下来

[00:09:13] 弄一道门弄一新的

[00:09:14] 这摊好了

[00:09:15] 拿钢笔给你画眉毛画眼画这题你算是好了死关于郭德纲最新的相声视频

[00:09:26] 我们做了个微信公众号

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