《Could You Please Oblige Us》歌词

[00:00:00] Could You Please Oblige Us - Noel Coward and Orchestra

[00:00:08] Colonel Montmorency who was in Calcutta in ninety-two

[00:00:12] Emerged from his retirement for the War

[00:00:16] He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw

[00:00:20] But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a Corps

[00:00:24] Poor Colonel Montmorency thought considering all the wars he'd faught

[00:00:29] The Home Guard was his job to do or die

[00:00:33] But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears

[00:00:37] He wrote the following letter to the Minister of Supply

[00:00:41] Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:00:45] Or failing that a hand grenade will do

[00:00:49] We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition

[00:00:53] And Major Huss has a arquebus that was used at Waterloo

[00:00:57] With the Vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave

[00:01:01] It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome

[00:01:05] So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:01:09] The Home Guard might as well go home

[00:01:13] Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:01:17] We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots

[00:01:21] Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment

[00:01:25] And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots

[00:01:29] On Sunday's mock invasion Captain Clark was heard to say

[00:01:33] He hadn't even got a brush and comb

[00:01:37] So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:01:41] The Home Guard might as well go home

[00:01:50] Colonel Montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land

[00:01:53] To drive them back with skill and armoured force

[00:01:57] He realised his army should be mechanised of course

[00:02:01] But somewhere inside experience cried "My Kingdom for a horse"

[00:02:07] Poor Colonel Montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride

[00:02:13] To tackle his superiors again

[00:02:17] Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike

[00:02:21] He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain

[00:02:25] Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:02:29] We need it very badly I'm afraid

[00:02:33] Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver

[00:02:38] But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid

[00:02:42] In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon

[00:02:46] Our orders are to storm the Hippodrome

[00:02:50] So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:02:54] The Home Guard might as well go home

[00:02:58] Could you please oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:03:02] The lack of one is wounding to our pride

[00:03:06] Last night we found the cutest little German parachutist

[00:03:10] He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried

[00:03:14] We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching to Berlin

[00:03:18] We'd almost be ashamed of it in Rome

[00:03:22] So if you can't oblige us with a Bren gun

[00:03:26] The Home Guard might as well go home