《两个弄潮儿》歌词

[00:00:00] (牛群)祝贺，祝贺，太..太好了!

[00:00:06] (冯巩)咱俩在这儿祝贺什么呀?

[00:00:08] (牛群)三等奖没咱俩，太好了!

[00:00:13] (冯巩)这...这都什么心态，你过来过来你过来...

[00:00:17] 你这么说话,这...这合适吗?

[00:00:20] (牛群)怎么了?

[00:00:21] (冯巩)你想获更高的奖项,这心情可以理解,

[00:00:24] 但你不能这么说呀:三等奖没咱俩，太好了!

[00:00:28] (牛群)那我应该怎么说呀?

[00:00:30] (冯巩)二等奖没咱俩,你才高兴嘛!

[00:00:32] 【两个弄潮儿 表演:牛群&冯巩】

[00:00:33] 【LRC制作:myqhyy】

[00:00:34] (冯巩)我....我...啊

[00:00:35] (牛群)不管怎么说呀,

[00:00:37] 今年我们俩的相声不敢说让大家满意,

[00:00:40] (冯巩)但明年我们保证全面出新,

[00:00:43] (牛群)我们再也不能这么站着说了,

[00:00:45] (冯巩)我们准备...趴着说!

[00:00:49] (牛群)不,我的意思是说

[00:00:52] 再也不能这么站着单说了.

[00:00:54] (冯巩)唉,我们准备趴着,喝着水说

[00:00:58] 不,你打算说什么呢,我不清楚!

[00:01:01] (牛群)还站着干说?(冯巩)啊

[00:01:03] (牛群)相声啊,是一门语言艺术,

[00:01:05] (冯巩)啊,讲究说学逗唱,

[00:01:08] (牛群)只要能给大家带来欢乐,

[00:01:10] (冯巩)那是我们 最高兴的,

[00:01:12] (牛群)可儿我们说了半天您要是不乐,

[00:01:14] (冯巩)那我就下去,咯吱您~

[00:01:17] (牛群)你说说这么说行吗?

[00:01:19] (冯巩)一点儿新意都没有,

[00:01:20] (牛群)一点儿意思没有.(冯巩)唉...

[00:01:22] (牛群)同样这段词,(冯巩)嗯...

[00:01:23] 你要配上音乐...

[00:01:27] (冯巩)那就叫 配乐相声!

[00:01:31] ~MUSIC ONE~

[00:01:51] (牛群)相声,是一门语言艺术,

[00:01:57] (冯巩)讲究说学...逗唱,

[00:02:04] (牛群)只要能给大家带来欢乐,

[00:02:07] (冯巩)那是我们 最高兴的事,

[00:02:11] (牛群)如果我们说了半天您不乐,

[00:02:15] (冯巩)那就 跟我们一块儿哭吧.

[00:02:24] (牛群)叔叔大爷,大爷大娘们,给我来口吃的吧

[00:02:33] 我饿呀

[00:02:35] (冯巩)您就可怜可怜我们这俩没娘的孩子吧

[00:02:46] 怎么说着说着..说到旧社会?!

[00:02:47] 停吧,音乐,停!停!嘟....

[00:02:51] 怎么说着说着说到旧社会去了?!

[00:02:52] (牛群)不是,相声出新!

[00:02:54] (冯巩)出新能这么出吗?

[00:02:56] 你得赞美新生活,给人以美的享受!

[00:03:01] (牛群)美的享受?!(冯巩)额..好说呀

[00:03:03] (牛群)美的享受,那行了,(冯巩)哎,额

[00:03:05] (牛群)那咱就不搞配乐相声了.(冯巩)对嘛.

[00:03:08] (牛群)咱搞模特相声!(冯巩)啊...模特?!

[00:03:13] ~MUSIC TWO~

[00:03:26] (牛群)相声是一门语言艺术!

[00:03:35] (冯巩)讲究说学...逗唱,

[00:03:46] (牛群)只要能给大家带来欢乐,

[00:03:52] (冯巩)那是我们 最高兴的事,

[00:04:01] (牛群)如果我们说了半天您不乐,

[00:04:03] (冯巩)不乐?我还脱!停..,停..,停吧!停吧!

[00:04:15] 等会儿吧牛哥，咱俩是男的是女的呀?！

[00:04:20] (牛群)他们都说是男的.

[00:04:21] (冯巩)先把这性别搞清楚了,能这么说吗?

[00:04:24] (冯巩)我跟你说啊,(牛群)啊..

[00:04:25] (冯巩)光有灯光音响是远远不够的,(牛群)嗯.

[00:04:28] (牛群)那你的意思?

[00:04:29] (冯巩)你得调动一切手段,为相声服务!

[00:04:32] (牛群)调动一切手段,(冯巩)哎.

[00:04:34] (牛群)好!(冯巩)是不是!

[00:04:35] (牛群)那就请今天所有到场的朋友们(冯巩)阿

[00:04:37] (牛群)欣赏我们这段全方位、多层次、

[00:04:41] 立体交叉、新潮..相声!

[00:04:46] ~MUSIC THREE~

[00:04:51] (牛群)相声本来就是一门语言的艺术

[00:04:52] (冯巩)说学逗唱给人欢乐还能治百病

[00:04:55] (牛群)您一高兴你一鼓掌我们就高兴

[00:04:57] (冯巩)您不高兴您不鼓掌我跟你玩命

[00:04:59] (牛群)吃葡萄还得应该不吐葡萄皮

[00:05:01] (冯巩)不吃葡萄他就应该倒吐葡萄皮

[00:05:03] (牛群)不吃葡萄我就想吃两个大鸭梨

[00:05:04] (冯巩)不吃鸭梨我就想吃两包共生仁

[00:05:06] (牛群)不吃鸭梨我就想吃两个豆腐皮

[00:05:08] (冯巩)不吃豆皮我就想吃两条小金鱼

[00:05:10] (牛群)不吃金鱼我就想吃两个栅栏门

[00:05:13] (冯巩)不吃栅栏我就想吃两头小毛驴(牛群)快来呀

[00:05:15] (合)不吃毛驴我就想吃两头小铁锤

[00:05:17] (合)不吃铁锤我...

[00:05:19] (牛群)谢...谢谢大家的鼓励