《Champagne Lecture》歌词

[00:00:00] Champagne Lecture - Frank Zappa

[00:00:04] You know

[00:00:06] A lotsa of people don't bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM

[00:00:17] They think "What can I say

[00:00:25] What can a person who is new to the Midwest say to a vegetable "

[00:00:35] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:36] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:39] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:42] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:43] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:44] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:46] Suss it out wankers

[00:00:48] What's the matter with you

[00:00:49] Aynsley Dunbar

[00:00:52] And after sussed it out wankers

[00:00:57] Ok

[00:00:58] You go and get yourself a big bottle of champagne

[00:01:06] AAAH

[00:01:10] Find yourself a young vegetable victim

[00:01:15] Yeah

[00:01:19] Take your young vegetable victim

[00:01:24] Step one now this is very important

[00:01:26] You have to do it exactly this way

[00:01:29] Bring the band on down behind me boys

[00:01:32] This gets technnical First: You get a Polaroid camera

[00:01:41] Mothers: Yeah

[00:01:43] FZ: And you make one good jump

[00:01:46] From a balcony to another balcony on the seventh floor of the Sheraton Hotel in Jacksonville

[00:01:53] Aynsley Dunbar ladies and gentlemen

[00:01:56] When you land on the other balcony with your Polaroid camera

[00:02:00] Something like this

[00:02:01] Heeey

[00:02:04] Shoot off one good flashbulb catching

[00:02:07] The agent will immediately turn around and say

[00:02:11] You know I sure would like to have that photograph

[00:02:15] You walk up to the agent and say "Well ha

[00:02:19] Funny you should mention it

[00:02:20] I have this photograph here and just about time to develop it

[00:02:23] Yes it turned out great it shows both of you here

[00:02:25] And I'll give you this photograph if you'll give me the munchkin vegetable that you're with in order that I might make a few more pictures "

[00:02:34] So you make a quick trade

[00:02:36] Holding the champagne bottle in abeyance until the rest of the members of your band have jumped over the same balcony

[00:02:42] Eeeeeeeeh

[00:02:45] And come in and taken their places around the bed where the munchkin vegetable is laid out

[00:02:50] Posing: Leg up in the air and legs down legs to the side

[00:02:56] Then after some deft manipulation of the vital parts of the munchkin vegetable

[00:03:07] Hey I want some baby to hold my tool and squeeze it

[00:03:11] With one masterful stroke -you might use several masterful strokes- shake up the magnum of champagne to a foamy froth

[00:03:27] Holding your thumb over the end of it

[00:03:30] No no no not the cork in Frank

[00:03:32] You pull the cork out

[00:03:35] Suss it out wankers

[00:03:37] They're a hip audience Frank

[00:03:39] They know what's gonna happen next

[00:03:41] After the band has given you their complete attention

[00:03:46] And is watching closely for the precise moment of the detonation of the alcoholic beverage into the vital organ you give a sort of casual glance around the bedroom of the Sheraton

[00:04:03] A suave little smile and wink one eye

[00:04:06] Adjust your bow tie and just stuff it right in there

[00:04:11] Aaaah

[00:04:18] And then you tell 'em how you feel

[00:04:21] You whip it right out take a snort off of it

[00:04:25] How do you feel