《Champagne Lecture》歌词

[00:00:00] Champagne Lecture - Frank Zappa
[00:00:04] You know
[00:00:06] A lotsa of people don't bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM
[00:00:17] They think "What can I say
[00:00:25] What can a person who is new to the Midwest say to a vegetable "
[00:00:35] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:36] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:39] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:42] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:43] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:44] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:46] Suss it out wankers
[00:00:48] What's the matter with you
[00:00:49] Aynsley Dunbar
[00:00:52] And after sussed it out wankers
[00:00:57] Ok
[00:00:58] You go and get yourself a big bottle of champagne
[00:01:06] AAAH
[00:01:10] Find yourself a young vegetable victim
[00:01:15] Yeah
[00:01:19] Take your young vegetable victim
[00:01:24] Step one now this is very important
[00:01:26] You have to do it exactly this way
[00:01:29] Bring the band on down behind me boys
[00:01:32] This gets technnical First: You get a Polaroid camera
[00:01:41] Mothers: Yeah
[00:01:43] FZ: And you make one good jump
[00:01:46] From a balcony to another balcony on the seventh floor of the Sheraton Hotel in Jacksonville
[00:01:53] Aynsley Dunbar ladies and gentlemen
[00:01:56] When you land on the other balcony with your Polaroid camera
[00:02:00] Something like this
[00:02:01] Heeey
[00:02:04] Shoot off one good flashbulb catching
[00:02:07] The agent will immediately turn around and say
[00:02:11] You know I sure would like to have that photograph
[00:02:15] You walk up to the agent and say "Well ha
[00:02:19] Funny you should mention it
[00:02:20] I have this photograph here and just about time to develop it
[00:02:23] Yes it turned out great it shows both of you here
[00:02:25] And I'll give you this photograph if you'll give me the munchkin vegetable that you're with in order that I might make a few more pictures "
[00:02:34] So you make a quick trade
[00:02:36] Holding the champagne bottle in abeyance until the rest of the members of your band have jumped over the same balcony
[00:02:42] Eeeeeeeeh
[00:02:45] And come in and taken their places around the bed where the munchkin vegetable is laid out
[00:02:50] Posing: Leg up in the air and legs down legs to the side
[00:02:56] Then after some deft manipulation of the vital parts of the munchkin vegetable
[00:03:07] Hey I want some baby to hold my tool and squeeze it
[00:03:11] With one masterful stroke -you might use several masterful strokes- shake up the magnum of champagne to a foamy froth
[00:03:27] Holding your thumb over the end of it
[00:03:30] No no no not the cork in Frank
[00:03:32] You pull the cork out
[00:03:35] Suss it out wankers
[00:03:37] They're a hip audience Frank
[00:03:39] They know what's gonna happen next
[00:03:41] After the band has given you their complete attention
[00:03:46] And is watching closely for the precise moment of the detonation of the alcoholic beverage into the vital organ you give a sort of casual glance around the bedroom of the Sheraton
[00:04:03] A suave little smile and wink one eye
[00:04:06] Adjust your bow tie and just stuff it right in there
[00:04:11] Aaaah
[00:04:18] And then you tell 'em how you feel
[00:04:21] You whip it right out take a snort off of it
[00:04:25] How do you feel
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