《Shticks of One and Half a Dozen of the Other》歌词

[00:00:00] Shticks of One and Half a Dozen of the Other - Allan Sherman

[00:00:04] She wheels her wheelbarrow

[00:00:08] Through streets that are narrow

[00:00:11] Her barrow is narrow her hips are too wide

[00:00:18] So wherever she wheels it

[00:00:21] The neighborhood feels it

[00:00:25] Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side

[00:00:31] In Dublin's fair city

[00:00:33] Where girls are so pretty

[00:00:36] My Molly stands out 'cause she weighs 18 stone

[00:00:41] (That's 256 pounds )

[00:00:44] I don't mind her fat but

[00:00:53] It's not only that but

[00:00:57] She's cockeyed and muscle-bound Molly Malone

[00:01:12] I know a man his name is Lang

[00:01:16] And he has a neon sign

[00:01:20] And Mister Lang is very old

[00:01:25] So they call it Old Lang's Sign

[00:01:32] Oh what have you done Billy Sol Billy Sol

[00:01:37] Oh what have you done charming Billy

[00:01:41] You took almost every cent

[00:01:44] From the you S Government

[00:01:46] Which you spent on fertilizer which is silly

[00:01:56] All day all night Cary Grant

[00:02:00] That's all I hear from my wife is Cary Grant

[00:02:05] What can he do that I can't

[00:02:10] Big deal big star Cary Grant

[00:02:19] Oh the moon is bright tonight upon the car wash

[00:02:23] So I'm having my Volkswagen washed again

[00:02:28] But the way things go with me the way my luck is

[00:02:33] Just as soon as they're finished it will rain

[00:02:41] On top of Old Smoky

[00:02:43] All covered with hair

[00:02:46] Of course I'm referring

[00:02:48] To Smoky The Bear

[00:03:00] Every time you take vaccine

[00:03:02] Take it orally

[00:03:04] As you know the other way

[00:03:07] Is more painfully

[00:03:14] My grandfather's clock was the best ever made

[00:03:18] By the Timex company

[00:03:23] Just like the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed

[00:03:27] Last night on the old tv

[00:03:32] Oh it works under water so perfectly

[00:03:37] And still makes a ticking sound

[00:03:42] Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon

[00:03:46] And that's how the old man drowned

[00:03:57] Do not make a stingy sandwich

[00:03:59] Pile the cold cuts high

[00:04:01] Customers should see salami

[00:04:03] Coming through the rye

[00:04:13] Oh I diet all day and I diet all night

[00:04:15] It's enough to drive me bats

[00:04:17] Got no gravy or potatoes

[00:04:18] 'Cause the whole refrigerator's

[00:04:19] Fulla polyunsaturated fats

[00:04:22] Fare thee well Metrecal

[00:04:24] And the others of that ilk

[00:04:26] Let the diet start tomorrow

[00:04:28] 'Cause today I'll drown my sorrow

[00:04:29] In a double malted milk

[00:04:36] When you go to the delicatessen store

[00:04:39] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:41] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:43] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:45] I repeat what I just said before

[00:04:48] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:50] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:04:54] Oh buy the corned beef if you must

[00:04:56] The pickled herring you can trust

[00:04:58] And the lox puts you in orbit aok

[00:05:03] But that big hunk of liverwurst

[00:05:05] Has been there since October First

[00:05:08] And today is the Twenty-Third of May

[00:05:13] So when you go to the delicatessen store

[00:05:15] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:18] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:20] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:22] It'll make your insides awful sore

[00:05:25] Don't buy the liverwurst

[00:05:27] Don't buy the liverwurst