《就你掏的是现金!》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:03] 呀呀呀呀呀呀呀呀
[00:00:18] 有一个朋友呢说到哈
[00:00:19] 他说几个老同学呢
[00:00:21] 打电话叫去聚餐啊
[00:00:23] 临行前的老婆塞给我一个钱包
[00:00:25] 我很是不解呀
[00:00:27] 我出门从来不带钱包
[00:00:29] 他也是知道的呀
[00:00:30] 哎
[00:00:30] 这就让我呢
[00:00:31] 觉得很奇怪
[00:00:32] 我就问他
[00:00:32] 为什么呀啊
[00:00:33] 他敲了我一下说
[00:00:35] 知道为什么上次你们聚餐是你出的钱不
[00:00:38] 因为结账的时候他们都假
[00:00:40] 一抢着买单
[00:00:41] 掏出来的全是钱包
[00:00:43] 就你掏出来的是现金啊
[00:00:45] 把这个包给我拿着走啊
[00:00:54] 还有一位朋友呢
[00:00:55] 通过这个微博呢
[00:00:57] 来私信到尘埃哈
[00:00:58] 他说世界杯来了
[00:00:59] 夫妻俩在这个家里看足球赛
[00:01:02] 每当看到
[00:01:03] 进球的时候呢
[00:01:04] 妻子都兴奋不已啊
[00:01:06] 抱着老公呢就撒娇
[00:01:07] 老公
[00:01:08] 今晚你也要射我的门哈
[00:01:10] 哎
[00:01:10] 老公呢
[00:01:11] 就一把推开了妻子说
[00:01:13] 你懂个屁
[00:01:14] 这社自家的门算输
[00:01:16] 射别人的门那才叫赢
[00:01:18] 有本事你去设一个圣人的哭啊
[00:01:32] 我记得有一次吧
[00:01:33] 吃完饭啊
[00:01:34] 因为当时喝了一点儿酒嘛
[00:01:36] 就路过了一个水果摊
[00:01:38] 啊这个
[00:01:38] 我就问那个老板
[00:01:39] 我说老板
[00:01:40] 你这瓜甜不啊
[00:01:41] 哎老板白了我一眼
[00:01:42] 没搭理我
[00:01:44] 我又拍着这个瓜问我说
[00:01:45] 这瓜到底甜不甜
[00:01:47] 那老板就火了呀
[00:01:49] 他说你不你说呢啊
[00:01:51] 你家黄瓜甜的吗
[00:02:03] 开始123 还有一个朋友能说到哈
[00:02:08] 他说同学的婚礼现场同学和他老婆太能说了
[00:02:12] 这主持人几次想插话都没有成功
[00:02:14] 终于他们停了
[00:02:16] 主持人说
[00:02:17] 啊
[00:02:17] 这是多么有力的对白啊
[00:02:18] 这是多么恩爱的夫妻啊
[00:02:20] 在这个家庭里
[00:02:22] 小三连嘴都插不上气
[00:02:23] 能插上脚
[00:02:25] 哎
[00:02:25] 全场就掌声雷动啊
[00:02:27] 哎
[00:02:27] 我觉得你这是把自己比喻成小三吗
[00:02:30] 这位主持人绿色也要少人不让寄
[00:02:42] 有一位老听众朋友呢
[00:02:43] 他就私聊我
[00:02:44] 哈
[00:02:44] 他说我呢是一个女汉子
[00:02:47] 平时呢
[00:02:48] 爱跟老公打
[00:02:48] 去尝尝尼玛之类的挂在嘴边
[00:02:51] 有一次我出门
[00:02:52] 哈在街上等我的老公来接我
[00:02:54] 于是我打电话给老公
[00:02:56] 我说
[00:02:57] 你在干嘛呢
[00:02:59] 谁知道我老公没在电话旁
[00:03:01] 电话是婆婆接的
[00:03:03] 接
[00:03:03] 回答
[00:03:03] 就是我在逼他学做菜呢
[00:03:07] 现在想起来
[00:03:08] 是不是感觉这个后脑勺都发凉了呀
[00:03:10] 这位朋友没二哥托一勇气
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