《Friends S09E13 The One Where Monica Sings》歌词

[00:00:00]

[00:00:02] - Hey. - Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure. -嘿 -嗯、嗯、好啦，当然

[00:00:05] Look, can we talk about what happened here last night? 听着，我们可以谈谈 昨晚这里发生的事吗？

[00:00:08] Sure. Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you. 当然，给我几秒钟让我变得跟你一样 怒气冲天、怪里怪气的

[00:00:12] You believe that whoever did something last night did what they did or didn't do? 你敢相信某某人昨天晚上 做了某某事吗？

[00:00:18] Okay, you really don't know what I'm talking about? 你真的不知道我在说什么吗？

[00:00:21] - No. - Okay. Last night, after the party.. -不知道 -好的，昨天晚上，在派对过后…

[00:00:24] I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony. 我看到瑞秋在你家的阳台上 亲她办公室的那个混蛋

[00:00:27] Our balcony? Seriously? 在我家阳台？真的吗？

[00:00:29] That's so funny. I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony.. 真是好玩，我告诉摩妮卡我们应该 在阳台上加个灯的

[00:00:33] and she said, "No, no. It's too cold. Nobody will go out there." And I said: 可是她说“不不，外面太冷了 没有人会站到外面去的”，然后我说…

[00:00:36] "Maybe if we put some lights out there they will." “如果我们加个灯 或许就会有人了”

[00:00:41] Right, that's what I came over to talk about. I saw Rachel kissing some guy.. 对，那就是我要谈的事 我看到瑞秋亲吻一个男的…

[00:00:45] on your balcony, even though there were no lights! 就在你家阳台上 即使那里一片漆黑！

[00:00:50] So are you gonna talk to her? 那你要跟她谈谈吗？

[00:00:53] Why? Why should I? I mean, if she wants to move on, that's fine. 为什么？为什么我要？ 如果她要找寻新生活，没关系

[00:00:57] You know when "that's fine" sounds true? When someone yells it and spits. 你知道“没关系”要怎样说才有 说服力吗？喷着口水用力吼

[00:01:01] No, I'm serious. I mean, if she wants to date people, fine. I don't care. 不，我是说真的，如果她想要跟 别人约会，没关系，我不在乎

[00:01:06] But at least she could have told me. 但是至少她要跟我说啊

[00:01:09] You know, I've been putting my life on hold and concentrating on Emma. 你知道的，我的生活都已经停摆 注意力完全集中在艾犸身上

[00:01:12] But if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I. 但是如果她要去亲那些不是 很熟的男人，我也要那样做

[00:01:21] Very funny! Ross is gay! 很好笑！罗斯是同志！

[00:01:25] No, no. Good, so you're moving on. 不，很好，所以你也要有新的生活了

[00:01:27] Do you have any idea where you're moving on to? 你知道你要怎么样过新生活吗？

[00:01:29] I've got plenty of opportunities. 我是有很多机会的

[00:01:31] Just now, there was some woman at the coffeehouse smiled at me. 刚刚在咖啡厅就有个女人对我笑

[00:01:36] And then the other day on the subway, a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand. 还有一天在地铁，有个女人 “不小心”坐到我的手

[00:01:42] Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life. 老兄，别再跟我说你疯狂的单身生活了

[00:01:47] And there's an anthropologist at school.. 还有，在学校有个人类学家

[00:01:50] who totally came on to me during the interdepartmental potluck dinner. 在跨部门餐会的时候 不停在勾搭我

[00:01:54] Why did I get married? 我为什么要结婚呢？

[00:01:58] The One Where Monica Sings

[00:02:47] Hey, let me ask you guys something. 嘿，让我问你们一个问题

[00:02:49] I'm having new headshots taken tomorrow. 我明天要拍新的大头照

[00:02:51] The photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. 摄影师说，她觉得我应该要修眉毛

[00:02:55] Is that weird for a guy? 男生那样做是不是很怪呢？

[00:02:58] - Well, it depends. - On? -嗯，那要看情况 -什么情况？

[00:03:00] On how far along he is in the sex-change process. 看他是在变性过程中的什么阶段啰

[00:03:04] No, I totally disagree. I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. 不，我完全不同意 我觉得男生那样做没有什么

[00:03:09] Especially an actor. 尤其是演员

[00:03:10] I mean, not that you need to. Your eyebrows are.. 我不是说你有那个必要，你的眉毛…

[00:03:17] Stop it, you guys. Stop staring, you're freaking me out. 你们别这样，别盯着我看 要吓死我了

[00:03:21] Your knuckles are kind of hairy too. 你的手指上也有毛

[00:03:24] Oh, man, now I have to get those done too? 天啊，现在我也要除这些毛吗？

[00:03:27] - Wow, talk about high maintenance. - You dye your hair. -哇，你要做的改造可不少啊 -你也染发啊

[00:03:31] - I'm a woman. - Double standards! -我是女人啊 -双重标准！

[00:03:35] Before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight? 差点忘记 你今晚会去麦克的钢琴酒吧吗？

[00:03:38] - Only if I don't have to get up and sing. - But everybody sings. It's so fun. -只要我不需要上台唱歌 -但是大家都要唱歌啊，会很好玩的

[00:03:42] Last time, this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out.. 上次有个可爱的老先生上台 忘了所有的台词 糗呆了

[00:03:47] and everyone booed him off the stage. It was so funny. 然后大家就嘘他下台，真是好玩

[00:03:52] Look, I'm not good at singing. 听着，我唱歌不行的

[00:03:55] Oh, what's the matter? You scared? You afraid I'm a better singer? 喔，怎样？你怕了吗？ 怕我唱的比你好吗？

[00:03:59] You afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing? 怕我会用唱歌打败你吗？

[00:04:04] Nope. Nope. It's not working on me. 不，这招对我没用

[00:04:07] Wow, I must be growing up. 哇，我一定是长大了

[00:04:12] Okay, fine. Just please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing. 好吧，就过来支持麦克就好了 你不需要唱歌

[00:04:17] So I don't have to sing, and I can just sit there and pass judgment on others? 所以我不用唱歌，而且还可以坐在那里 讨论、批评其他人？

[00:04:21] - While drinking. - I'm there. -还可以一边喝酒 -我要去

[00:04:26] Hi, you guys. Listen, I really need your help. 嘿，你们好 我需要你们的帮忙

[00:04:29] I think I did something really stupid. 我想我做了一件很蠢的事

[00:04:31] Well, yes, Rachel, but you got something so beautiful out of it. 嗯，是的，瑞秋，但是至少它很漂亮

[00:04:38] No, not that. I kissed Gavin last night. 不，不是那件事 我昨晚亲了盖文

[00:04:41] - My God. - You kissed him? -我的天 -你亲了他？

[00:04:42] Yeah, it was after the party, we were on the balcony.. 是啊，就在派对结束之后 我们在阳台上…

[00:04:45] Wait, wait, wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I miss that? 等等，我一直都在家，为什么没看到？

[00:04:48] Well, it was the end of the party. You were probably ironing wrapping paper. 派对才刚结束 你可能正忙着烫平包装纸

[00:04:53] Oh, yeah. 喔，是啊

[00:04:57] So how did you end up kissing? 那你们怎么会亲起来的呢？

[00:04:59] We were all alone and he was being really nice.. 我们单独在一起，然后他又很体贴

[00:05:02] - and he gave me this scarf. - I thought you hated him. -然后又送我这条围巾 -我以为你讨厌他

[00:05:05] Well, there is a thin line between love and hate.. 爱与恨之间只有一线之隔

[00:05:08] and it turns out that line is a scarf. 而结果，那条线就是这围巾

[00:05:15] Are you thinking of starting something up with this guy? 你在想要跟这男的交往吗？

[00:05:17] I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy. 我不知道，真是太复杂了 这男的是我同事耶

[00:05:21] I have the baby, and I have Ross. I don't know what to do. 我已经有小孩，有罗斯 我不知道该怎么办

[00:05:24] And I have to be at the office and see Gavin in 10 minutes. 而我再十分钟就要进办公室见到盖文了

[00:05:28] Sounds like you need to think about what you want and talk to Gavin. 听起来你应该想想 要怎么跟盖文说了

[00:05:32] - And you definitely should talk to Ross. - Or.. -而且你一定得要跟罗斯说 -或者…

[00:05:36] I could call in sick and not deal with it at all. 我可以打电话请病假，那就不用管了

[00:05:40] Wow! Five months maternity leave, you're back for four days.. 哇！请了五个月的产假 才回去上班四天…

[00:05:43] kiss a co-worker and call in sick. They are lucky to have you. 亲了一个同事就请病假 他们有你这个员工真幸运

[00:05:56] - Hi. - Hi. -嗨 -嗨

[00:05:57] - I'm here for my eyebrow appointment. - Name? -我有预约修眉毛 -什么姓名？

[00:06:02] Chandler Bing. 钱德宾

[00:06:06] Okay, very good. 好的，很好

[00:06:08] Have a seat right here, Mr. Bing, and Sonya will be right with you. 请先坐一下，宾先生 桑妮亚很快就出来了

[00:06:11] Okay. Thanks. 好的，谢谢

[00:06:59] I touched the stuff. 我碰了那东西

[00:07:02] I'll take care of it. 让我来处理

[00:07:09] Thanks. 谢谢

[00:07:10] So do you..? Do you get a lot of guys in here? 那你们… 你们这里有很多男生会来吗？

[00:07:14] - Oh, absolutely. - Oh, good. -喔，当然 -喔，很好

[00:07:17] - You looking to meet somebody? - All right, let's just do this. -你想要认识他们吗？ -好了，我们开始吧

[00:07:21] Okay, we'll get to the wax in a minute. 好的，我们等一下再上热蜡

[00:07:24] First, I want to tweeze some of the strays, okay? 首先我要先拔一些杂毛，好吗？

[00:07:27] - Now, this may sting just a little bit. - I have an extremely high threshold.. -这可能会有点痛 -我很可以忍痛…

[00:07:31] Holy Mother of God! Oh, my face! My face! 妈妈咪啊！ 喔，我的脸！我的脸！

[00:07:41] I'm all right. I'm all right. I'm all right. 我没事，我没事，我没事

[00:07:44] It's just a bit of shock, that's all. 只是有点吓到，没什么

[00:07:47] - But I'll be fine. You can go again. - Okay. -但是我没事，你可以继续了 -好的

[00:07:55] Sorry. 抱歉

[00:08:02] Damn it, woman! 可恶，你这女人！

[00:08:18] It's the most eligible man in New York. How's the moving on going? 全纽约最有身价的单身汉来了 新生活进行得如何呢？

[00:08:23] Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand.. 不太好，在地铁上 又有个人坐到我的手

[00:08:27] but that person was neither female nor wearing pants. 但是，这个人既不是女性 也没有穿内裤

[00:08:33] Maybe you're going about this the wrong way. I mean, think about it: 或许你完全错估情势了 我是说，你想想看

[00:08:37] Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. 单身白种男性，离婚三次 有两个非婚生子女

[00:08:44] The personal ad writes itself. 你应该要自己心里有数的

[00:08:47] You know, that's funny. Yeah. So do you think you'll ever work again? 真是好笑，是啊 那你觉得你这辈子会找到工作吗？

[00:08:53] What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out. 你在干嘛？ 你知道我们会斗个没完的

[00:08:57] I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me. 我不敢相信，瑞秋就这样抛下 我们的过去，而且没有跟我说

[00:09:02] Maybe she didn't move on. 或许她并没有抛下

[00:09:03] Maybe that kiss was just an impulsive, one-time birthday thing. 或许那只是冲动之下吻的 过生日才发生一次的那种

[00:09:07] No, a month ago, she gave her number to some guy in a bar. 不，一个月以前，她还把电话号码 留给一个在酒吧认识的男的

[00:09:10] - Did she go out with him? - No. When he called.. -她有跟他出去吗？ -没有，当他打电话来时…

[00:09:13] I threw the message away. 我把留言丢了

[00:09:16] The high road. 真是厉害啊

[00:09:19] All right, you know what? Enough. Enough talking. I have to get moving. 你知道吗？够了 说够了，我要展开新生活了

[00:09:24] Hey, check out those two blonds over there. Hey, come with me. 嘿，瞧瞧那两个金发美眉 嘿，跟我一起过去

[00:09:29] Are you trying to get everybody divorced? 你要害每个人都离婚吗？

[00:09:32] You don't have to do anything. It'll just be easier if it's two of us. 你不用做什么 但是我们两个一起过去会比较好

[00:09:35] Like college, remember? First, you break the ice with some kind of a joke.. 就像大学一样，记得吗？ 你先过去说笑话热场面

[00:09:40] so they know you're the funny one. I swoop in with interesting conversation.. 让她们知道你是好玩的人 然后我再插入有趣的话题

[00:09:44] so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one. 让她们才知道我既聪明 有教养又性感

[00:09:52] I thought I got to make the jokes. 我还以为说笑话是我的专利

[00:09:56] - Don't you have to be at work? - Oh, come on. -你不用上班吗？ -拜托，走吧

[00:10:02] Hello. Hi, my name's Chandler. This is my friend Ross right here. 哈啰，我叫钱德 这是我朋友罗斯

[00:10:07] We were wondering.. 我们在想…

[00:10:08] if you're up for it, we only need six more people for a human pyramid. 如果你们有兴趣的话 我们还需要六个人来完成人体金字塔

[00:10:15] Swoop. Swoop. 接手，接手

[00:10:20] Hey, I notice you're reading the paper. 嘿，我注意到你在看报纸

[00:10:24] Another flood in Europe, huh? 欧洲又有水灾了，对吗？

[00:10:29] Here's a question: 问题来了

[00:10:32] Would you rather drown or be burned alive? 你宁愿被淹死还是被活活烧死？

[00:10:39] - I'm sorry, we're just leaving. - Okay. -很抱歉，我们要走了 -好的

[00:10:46] We still got it. 我们还是宝刀未老

[00:10:57] - Who is it? - Gavin. I brought you some soup. -是谁？ -盖文，我带一些汤来给你

[00:11:01] - Why? - I heard you were sick. -为什么？ -我听说你生病了

[00:11:04] Oh, right! Hold on, let me just clean up in here a little bit. 喔，对！等一下 让我先整理一下

[00:11:19] Hello, Gavin. 哈啰，盖文

[00:11:22] I missed you at work. How you feeling? 今天上班我好想你，你还好吗？

[00:11:24] I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick. 我不想对你说谎，我病得很重

[00:11:28] Oh, good. Because I was having a totally paranoid moment.. 喔，好，因为我还担心…

[00:11:31] where I thought you called in sick to avoid me. 你是在装病逃避我

[00:11:34] Oh, no, no, no. 喔，不、不、不

[00:11:39] So I had fun last night. 我昨晚很愉快

[00:11:42] So did I. 我也是

[00:11:47] Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? 你的病到底传染性有多高呢？

[00:11:49] Is it a cold from standing on the balcony, or did a monkey bite you? 是因为站在阳台上受凉了 还是被猴子咬呢？？

[00:11:55] - It's just a cold. - Do you have a fever? -只是单纯的感冒 -有发烧吗？

[00:11:58] Let me see. 让我看看

[00:12:06] What? What is it? What's the matter? 怎么？怎么了？怎么回事？

[00:12:08] What's Ross doing to you in that picture? 在那张照片中 罗斯在对你做什么？

[00:12:10] Oh, he's dusting me with a fossil brush. 喔，他在用化石刷子帮我除尘

[00:12:15] He thought it would be funny. 他觉得那样很好玩

[00:12:18] - Right. Right. - Yeah. -是啊 -是的

[00:12:20] - Ross. - Yeah. -罗斯 -是啊

[00:12:23] What's the deal with you guys? I don't wanna get in the middle of anything. 你们之间有什么吗？ 我不想要当第三者

[00:12:27] You're not getting in the middle of anything. Don't worry about Ross. 你不是第三者，别担心罗斯

[00:12:32] Hide! That's Ross! Hide! 快躲！是罗斯！躲起来！

[00:12:35] - Hide! Hide! - Yeah, but you said not to worry.. -躲起来！躲起来！ -但是你说不用担心…

[00:12:37] I lied and I'm not sick either! Just stay behind the curtain! 我说谎，而且我也没有生病！ 躲到窗帘后面！

[00:12:44] - Hi. - Oh, Molly. You're not Ross. -嗨 -喔，莫莉，不是罗斯

[00:12:47] No. I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember? 不是，我是来接艾犸到你妈家的 记得吗？

[00:12:50] Right. Yes, yes. 对，是的，是的

[00:12:53] - Don't panic. - What? -别紧张 -怎么了？

[00:12:55] There is a man behind your curtain. 有个男人躲在窗帘后面

[00:12:58] - I have Mace in my purse. - No, that's okay! No, no, no. -我皮包里有防狼喷雾 -不，没关系！不、不、不

[00:13:01] This is my business associate Gavin being silly. Come out from behind there. 那是我同事盖文在发神经 出来吧！

[00:13:08] Hi. Gavin. Pleased to meet you. 嗨，我叫盖文，很高兴认识你

[00:13:12] It was my idea to stand there. 是我要站在那里的

[00:13:14] - Hello. I'll just go get Emma. - Okay. -哈啰，我去带艾犸 -好的

[00:13:21] So.. 那么…

[00:13:23] - why did I have to hide? - I thought it was Ross. -为什么我要躲呢？ -我以为那是罗斯

[00:13:27] I thought there was nothing going on between you. 我以为你们之间已经没有什么了

[00:13:30] There isn't. There totally isn't. 是没有，完全没有

[00:13:32] You hear keys in the hall and you jump like a bronco coming out of the chute. 你听到钥匙转动的声音 就像野牛一样跳了起来

[00:13:39] I used to be a rodeo clown. 我做过斗牛士

[00:13:44] All right, look, Gavin.. 好的，听着，盖文

[00:13:50] I guess I felt guilty that you were here.. 我想，你在这里 让我觉得有罪恶感

[00:13:54] which I shouldn't. 我这样想是不对的

[00:13:56] You know, Ross and l are not in a relationship.. 你知道的，罗斯跟我并没有在交往

[00:14:00] but he is the father of my child. And, you know.. 他是我孩子的父亲，而且…

[00:14:04] we do live together. And plus, there's just so much history, you know? 我们还住在一起，还有 我们有太多过去了，你知道吗？

[00:14:08] It's just.. I don't know. 只是…我不知道

[00:14:10] - I'm sorry. I'm just all over the place. - It's okay. -我很抱歉，我头脑很不清楚了 -没关系

[00:14:15] It's probably not my place, but can I give you a piece of advice? 这或许不关我的事 但是我可以给你一个建议吗？

[00:14:19] - Yes. - You should talk to Ross about all this. -好的 -你应该跟罗斯谈这件事

[00:14:23] People keep saying that. 大家都这样说

[00:14:28] I'm sorry, Gavin. 我很抱歉，盖文

[00:14:30] Don't be. 别抱歉

[00:14:32] It's just bad timing. 只是现在不是好时机

[00:14:36] So seriously, rodeo clown? 讲真的吗？斗牛士？

[00:14:39] One of the best, ma'am. One of the best. 技术最棒的，小姐 技术最棒的

[00:14:44] （钢琴酒吧与夜总会）

[00:15:10] Oh, she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. 喔，她是我女朋友 不只是在台上而已

[00:15:14] I'm gonna take a little break, and when we come back.. 我要休息一下，当我们回来时

[00:15:17] we've got Kenneth singing "I Touch Myself." 肯尼将要演唱“我自摸”

[00:15:21] I'm not here to judge. 我不是来当评审的

[00:15:27] - You have got to sing. - No, I told you I can't. -你一定要上台唱 -不，我告诉过你我不行

[00:15:30] But you would have so much fun. And you have a really nice voice. 但是你会很喜欢的 而且你的声音很好啊

[00:15:34] - When have you heard me sing? - All the time, when you're cooking. -你是何时听到我唱歌的？ -常常，当你在煮饭的时候

[00:15:38] - What? - Yeah, you're always singing: -什么？ -是啊，你总是一边唱着…

[00:15:39] Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got love in my tummy 好吃，好吃，好吃 我肚肚里有爱爱

[00:15:43] Yeah, I do rock that one. 是啊，我那倒是唱得不错

[00:15:47] Isn't there just a little part of you that wants to get up there? 你难道一点都不想要上去唱吗？

[00:15:51] Just a little. But, God, it's so scary. 一点而已，但是老天，好可怕喔

[00:15:55] I don't even know what I would sing. 我根本不知道要唱什么

[00:15:57] - Well, I've got a book around.. - "Delta Dawn." -嗯，我有一本歌本在… -“破晓时分”

[00:16:03] （中央咖啡厅）

[00:16:08] Hi. I couldn't help but notice, but that's an unusual necklace. 嗨，我不得不注意到 你特别的项链

[00:16:14] You already hit on me an hour ago. 你一个小时前就来搭讪过了

[00:16:19] Right. So that's a firm no? 没错，所以确定不要吗？

[00:16:28] I don't believe this. I just keep striking out. 我不敢相信，我一直被判出局

[00:16:31] I don't get it either. 我也不敢相信

[00:16:34] I mean, you're obviously desperate. 我是说，很明显地你是很饥渴了

[00:16:37] You're asking women how they wanna be killed. 你问女人她们想要如何死法

[00:16:41] This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys.. 太棒了，瑞秋继续去亲男人…

[00:16:44] until she finds the one she wants, and I'm gonna die alone. 直到她找到她想要的男人 而我将孤单地死去

[00:16:48] By drowning or..? 是淹死还是…

[00:16:53] - Why would he break up with me? - I don't know, sweetie. -他为什么要跟我分手呢？ -我不知道，亲爱的

[00:16:57] All I ever wanted was to just love him and have him love me back. 我要的只不过是爱他，希望他也爱我

[00:17:01] I mean, am I so unlovable? 我是说，我有这么不值得爱吗？

[00:17:05] - Wow. - I know. -哇 -对了

[00:17:17] All right. That was Kenneth with his.. 好了，以上是肯尼所带来的…

[00:17:20] much too literal rendition of "I Touch Myself." 即兴表演“我自摸”

[00:17:24] Coming up next, we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn." 接下来是摩妮卡演唱“破晓时分”

[00:17:28] Wait. I can't sing in front of all these people. 等等，我不能在这些人面前唱

[00:17:31] Just pretend they're not even here. It's okay. 假装他们不在，没关系的

[00:17:34] Once that spotlight hits you, it's so bright, you won't see anyone anyway. 一旦聚光灯照到你，会很亮的 反正你也看不到任何人

[00:17:41] Hi, I'm Monica. And I'm going to be singing "Delta Dawn." 嗨，我是摩妮卡 我要唱的是“破晓时分”

[00:18:10] - Can you totally see through her shirt? - Like an x-ray. -你可以看穿她的上衣吗？ -像X光一样

[00:18:15] Bad day not to wear a bra. 今天不是不穿内衣的好日子

[00:18:35] I'm calling about the advertising job. 我打来询问广告工作的

[00:18:38] Yes, I realize it would be entry level. 是的，我了解这是基层职务

[00:18:42] Oh, so would I actually have to wear the chicken suit? 喔，所以我真的要穿小鸡装吗？

[00:18:47] I need your help. 我需要你的帮忙

[00:18:52] Wow, it seems serious. 哇，看起来很严重

[00:18:55] What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd? 是怎么了呢？艾希莉贾德？

[00:18:58] I'm getting new headshots taken. So I went to get my eyebrows shaped. 我要照新的大头照 所以我去修了眉毛

[00:19:02] I'm sorry. Moment to make fun of that, please. 很抱歉，让我笑一下吧

[00:19:06] I may be a sissy, but I'll still pound you into the ground. 我看起来可能娘娘腔的 但是我还是可以海扁你的

[00:19:10] Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now.. 听着，好痛喔，我只能让她做一边 所以就…

[00:19:14] they don't match! 两边不对称了！

[00:19:30] It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama. 就像是毛毛虫宝宝在追妈妈一样

[00:19:33] You got to help me out, okay? Look, I have a magic marker. 你得要帮我，好吗？ 看，我有麦克笔

[00:19:37] Fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures. 帮我把细的这边划粗 照起相来才不会很蠢

[00:19:40] Okay, first of all, this is green. 好的，但是，首先这是绿色的

[00:19:43] - What the hell am I supposed to do?! - I will help you out.. -我他妈的该怎么办呢？ -我会帮你的

[00:19:46] but you have to promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. 但是你要答应我 不会把我要告诉你的事说出去

[00:19:51] What? What? 什么事？什么事？

[00:19:54] Okay. 好了

[00:19:55] You know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn.. 你知道大部分的小孩都是利用除草 或是倒垃圾什么的…

[00:19:58] or taking out the garbage? Well, I earned mine.. 来赚取零用钱 而我赚零用钱的方式…

[00:20:03] by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business partners." 就是帮我父亲 还有他的“合伙人”拔眉毛

[00:20:14] Oh, my God. 喔，我的天

[00:20:16] Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help, Victor-Victoria. 好的，我猜你不需要我的帮忙了 乔伊美眉

[00:20:20] No, no, no. I do. I do. I need your help. 不、不、不，我要，我要 我需要你的帮忙

[00:20:23] But, Chandler, I don't know if I can take any more plucking. It hurt so bad. 但是钱德，我不知道能不能 再忍受拔毛，真的好痛

[00:20:27] Not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe vera and my gentle.. 安啦，有我的冰块跟芦荟配方 加上…

[00:20:32] self-loathing touch. 连自己也厌恶的温柔接触

[00:20:51] I'm sorry, the song's over. 我很抱歉，歌唱完了

[00:20:56] - Did you see me up there? - Every little bit of you. -你有看到我在上面吗？ -全身上下看透透

[00:21:00] I can't believe I sang in front of people and they liked me. 我不敢相信我在大家面前唱歌 而且他们喜欢我

[00:21:04] Did you hear that guy shouting, "Look at those tips"? 你们有听到还有人大喊 “瞧瞧那些小费（意同乳头）”吗？

[00:21:07] I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips? 我是说，我有帮你多赚小费吗？

[00:21:11] Sure. 当然有

[00:21:14] - Mon, not that you didn't sound good.. - Good? -摩妮卡，不是说你唱的不好… -不好？

[00:21:17] Didn't you hear them? I was great! 你没有听到他们的叫声吗？ 我棒透了！

[00:21:21] Thank you so much for making me do this. That is the best gift ever. 谢谢你逼我这样做 这是我有过最好的礼物了

[00:21:26] Also a good gift: underwear. 内衣也会是好礼物

[00:21:32] Thank you so much for letting me do this. 谢谢你让我过来

[00:21:35] Public bathrooms freak me out. I can't even pee, let alone do anything else. 公共厕所让我觉得很恶 我根本没有办法上厕所，更别说其他的

[00:21:40] But what's great is you don't mind talking about it. 但是更棒的是，你根本不介意说出来

[00:21:44] It is so amazing that I met you on the same day that Eric broke up with me.. 这真是太神奇了，在我跟艾瑞克分手的这一天，我就遇见了你

[00:21:48] because it's like, you lose a boyfriend, and you get a boyfriend. 这就是，失去一个男朋友 又得到一个男朋友

[00:21:55] No, don't worry. This is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric. 你不用担心，这不是补货疗伤法 我已经完全不爱艾瑞克了

[00:22:07] Good choice, Ross. 挑的真好，罗斯

[00:22:11] Hey. Hi. There you are. 嘿，嗨，你在家

[00:22:13] - I've been looking for you everywhere. - Hello. Well, here I am. -我到处在找你 -哈啰，我在家

[00:22:17] My mom is not bringing the baby back until 9:00. 我妈到九点才会把孩子带过来

[00:22:20] So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of.. 所以我希望，我们可以有机会来…

[00:22:27] - Somebody here? - Oh, yeah. That's Michelle. -有人在这里吗？ -是的，是蜜雪儿

[00:22:30] - Who? - Oh, just this woman I've been seeing. -谁？ -喔，是我最近在约会的女生

[00:22:35] - You've been seeing someone? - Yeah, didn't I mention that? -你有在约会？ -是啊，我没有提过吗？

[00:22:38] I mean, we haven't been going out too long.. 我是说，我们并没有约会很久

[00:22:42] but there's this amazing connection between us. 但是我们之间有很奇妙的感情

[00:22:46] I mean, in fact just before you came in, she called me her boyfriend. 而且就在你进来之前 她才说我是她男朋友

[00:22:50] I thought it was a little too soon, but also, it felt kind of nice. 我是觉得有点太快，但是觉得也不错

[00:22:56] What are you taking amoxicillin for? 你为什么要用青霉素呢？

[00:23:05] How great is this? You're already comfortable enough.. 真是太棒了，你已经可以自在的…

[00:23:08] to look through my stuff. 偷看我的东西了

[00:23:11] I'm sorry, Michelle, this is my roommate, Rachel. 很抱歉，蜜雪儿 这位是我室友，瑞秋

[00:23:14] And I'm also Emma's mother. 而且我也是艾犸的母亲

[00:23:17] - Who's Emma? - I told you about my daughter. -艾犸是谁呢？ -我跟你说过，是我的女儿

[00:23:20] This is your daughter? 这位是你女儿？

[00:23:24] I could be your new mommy. 我可以当你的新妈妈喔

[00:23:34] And done. 好了

[00:23:36] Oh, my God. 我的天

[00:23:39] I didn't feel a thing. Hey, are you still looking for a job? 我根本都没感觉 嘿，你还在找工作吗？

[00:23:42] Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon. 你比那个沙龙的臭娘们会拔多了

[00:23:47] - Thanks. Wanna see what it looks like? - Yeah. -谢谢，想要看看吗？ -好啊

[00:23:52] They totally match. They look great. 对称了，很好看耶

[00:23:55] They look great. How you doing? 看起来真棒，你怎么做的？

[00:24:00] Yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was.. 是啊，我觉得看起来挺不错的 我本来有点担心会…

[00:24:03] uncovering a birthmark right about there.. 让这上面的胎记露出来

[00:24:06] but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate. 但原来那只是一点巧克力渣

[00:24:09] - Chandler, thank you so much. - No problem. -钱德，真是感谢你 -不用客气

[00:24:12] Listen, that was a pretty girlie hour we just spent. 听着，我们刚花了一小时做娘们的事

[00:24:16] We should do something manly to make up for it. 我们应该做一些男人的事来弥补

[00:24:18] Yeah. 是啊

[00:24:24] - Curl my eyelashes. - Yeah! -把睫毛夹卷 -好啊！

[00:24:29] For my next song, I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat, all right? 下一首歌我想唱比较轻快的，好吗？

[00:24:34] How about the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"? 唱Pointer姐妹的“脱掉”怎样呢？

[00:24:38] And make it bouncy. 弹得活泼一点哦

[00:24:41] Well, you can probably take care of that on your end. 嗯，你自己就可以办得到了

[00:24:45] I'm sorry I'm late. You'll understand when you see Joey. 很抱歉我迟到了，等一下你看到乔伊 就知道为什么了

[00:24:49] Honey, you're just in time. I'm about to sing another song. 亲爱的，你正好赶上 我正要唱另一首歌

[00:24:53] - Really? In front of all these people? - And they love me. -真的？在所有人面前吗？ -而且他们很喜欢我

[00:24:56] - Oh, my God. - She gives the people what they want. -我的天 -她给的正是他们想要的

[00:25:00] All right, watch. 好的，看着

[00:25:20] Are those my wife's nipples? 那是我老婆的乳头吗？

[00:25:23] Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before. I wouldn't have let her go up again. 真是好玩，我之前怎么没有注意到？ 要不然我不会让她上去的

[00:25:27] I've gotta stop this. 我必须要制止她

[00:25:43] Who cares? They still love me. 管他的，他们还是爱我

[00:25:49] You, touching yourself! Out! 你，在自摸！出去！

[00:25:59] Wow! She does that a lot. 哇！她这么常上厕所

[00:26:02] Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor. 罗斯，你没有告诉我你是博士

[00:26:06] Wait a minute. You haven't even told her you are a doctor yet? 等一下，你还没有告诉她 你是博士？

[00:26:09] How long have you known her, like an hour? 你认识她多久呢？一个小时吗？

[00:26:12] Actually, about an hour and a half. 事实上是一个小时半

[00:26:15] I told you it wasn't long, but there's an amazing connection between us. 我告诉过你不久，但是我们之间有 很奇妙的感觉

[00:26:20] You feel that too? 你也有感觉到吗？

[00:26:22] - I thought that that was just me. - Are you kidding? -我以为只是我单方面而已 -你开玩笑吗？

[00:26:27] - Do you wanna go away this weekend? - We'll see. -你想要这周末一起去度假吗？ -再说

[00:26:32] Ross, what's going on here? 罗斯，这是怎么回事呢？

[00:26:34] Are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now? 我们现在是可以带陌生女人回家了吗？

[00:26:37] I don't know. Are we just kissing guys on balconies? 我不知道，我们现在是可以 在阳台上亲吻男人了吗？

[00:26:40] - How do you know about that? - Through the magic of sight. -你怎么会知道呢？ -我有千里眼

[00:26:47] - I was here, putting our child to sleep.. - Emma. -我在这里，把我们的女儿哄睡 -艾犸

[00:26:53] When I looked through the window and saw you kissing a guy.. 当我从窗户看过去 就看到你在亲一个男的

[00:26:56] you've known for what, a week? 一个你认识有多久的男生，一星期吗？

[00:26:58] God, is that what this is all about? You bring her up here to get back at me? 天啊，这就是原因吗？ 你带她回来报复我吗？

[00:27:02] No, actually, see, I had to pee because I can't use public bathrooms.. 不，事实上是我要上厕所 而我又不能上公共厕所

[00:27:06] - because of the doody parasites. - Okay, Michelle, it's time to go. -因为有寄生虫 -好了，蜜雪儿，你该走了

[00:27:11] - Well, call me. - Okay. -那，打电话给我 -好的

[00:27:14] Wait, you don't have my phone number. 等等，你没有我的电话

[00:27:16] You know what? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it. 你知道吗？如果是命中注定 我会猜到的

[00:27:20] Bye-bye. 再见

[00:27:23] Score. 高招

[00:27:25] Did you not like her? Because I was hoping we could come.. 你不喜欢她吗？ 我还希望我们可以…

[00:27:28] to your kissing parties on the balcony. 去参加你的阳台亲吻派对

[00:27:31] I can't believe you are making a big deal about this. It was one kiss! 我不敢相信你竟然小题大作 只不过是一个吻！

[00:27:34] - One guy. One time! - Oh, really? -跟一个人，一次而已！ -喔，真的吗？

[00:27:37] - Yeah. - Oh, really? -是啊 -喔，真的？

[00:27:41] Oh, yeah. 喔，真的

[00:27:43] - What about the guy from the bar? - Who? -那个酒吧认识的男的呢？ -谁？

[00:27:46] The guy you gave your number to. 你给他电话号码的那一个

[00:27:50] - How do you know about that? - Because he called here looking for you. -你是怎么知道的？ -因为他打来找你

[00:27:54] So don't tell me kissing this guy from work is a one-time thing. 所以别跟我说，你亲这个男同事 只是一次而已

[00:27:59] Because you've been out there in bars and on balconies.. 因为你又在酒吧，又在阳台上…

[00:28:02] for over a month now. And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me. 已经一个多月了 而你根本就没有礼貌性地告诉我

[00:28:07] - Why didn't I get that message? - What? -为什么我没有拿到留言？ -什么？

[00:28:10] From the guy in the bar? Why didn't I get that message? 那个酒吧的男的留言？ 为什么我没有拿到留言？

[00:28:14] Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket. 因为我折起来放到裤子口袋里了

[00:28:17] Do you not look there? 你没有去找过吗？

[00:28:23] Ross. 罗斯

[00:28:27] I never gave it to you. 我没有拿给你

[00:28:29] Why? 为什么？

[00:28:33] - I don't know. - Oh, God, you know what? I don't.. -我不知道 -天啊，你知道吗？我不…

[00:28:36] Who do you think you are? Who are you to decide.. 你以为你是谁呢？谁让你有权决定…

[00:28:39] what messages I should or should not get?! 什么留言我该收或是不该？

[00:28:42] Who am I? I'm the guy who's taking care of our baby.. 我是谁？我是那个照顾我们孩子的人

[00:28:45] - while you're at bars meeting guys! - I cannot believe you. -而你却在酒吧跟男人混！ -我真不敢相信

[00:28:48] I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with you about us. 我回来希望能够 跟你成熟的谈谈我们之间

[00:28:53] But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages.. 但是我不能跟会藏我留言 还会带疯女人…

[00:28:55] and brings crazy women back to my apartment! 回我公寓的人谈！

[00:28:58] Hey, none of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! 嘿，正常的人没有一个要跟我回来！

[00:29:05] That's not the point, okay? The point is.. 这不是重点好吗？重点是…

[00:29:09] you are the one who moved on and didn't tell anyone. 是你抛下我们的过去，而你却没有说

[00:29:13] Oh, God, Ross, this is just so messed up. 天啊，罗斯，这真是糟透了

[00:29:17] What is wrong with us? When people hear about our situation, they ask: 我们是怎么了？ 当大家知道我们的情况都会问…

[00:29:22] "You live together, but you're not a couple, yet you have a baby? 你们住在一起，不是一对 但是你们又有小孩？…

[00:29:25] Isn't that weird?" And I say, "No. It's not, because it works for us." 不是很奇怪吗？“我会说 ”不会，我们都没问题

[00:29:29] But you know what? This doesn't work. 但是你知道吗？是有问题的

[00:29:31] - In fact, this is the opposite of working. - Clearly. -事实上，还正好相反咧 -的确如此

[00:29:37] And you know.. 你也知道

[00:29:39] we said that we would live together as long as this makes sense.. 我们有说过只要一切没问题 我们就会一直住在一起

[00:29:43] and maybe this just doesn't make sense anymore. 然而，或许一切不再是没问题了

[00:29:49] Yeah, maybe not. 是啊，或许不再是了

[00:29:52] So, what do you wanna do? 那你想要怎样呢？

[00:29:59] Hi. 嗨

[00:30:01] Can Emma and I live here for a while? 我跟艾犸可以过来住一阵子吗？

[00:30:05] God. 天啊

[00:30:08] - Of course. - Thank you. -当然可以 -谢谢你

[00:30:16] Your eyebrows look weird. 你的眉毛很奇怪

[00:30:44] So you'll just touch yourself for anything, then? 所以不管怎样，你都会自摸啦