《A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying》歌词

[00:00:01] A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying - Bloodhound Gang

[00:00:08] I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert

[00:00:12] That night I strolled on into

[00:00:15] Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love

[00:00:18] It had been a while

[00:00:20] In fact three hundred and sixty five had come and went

[00:00:23] Since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10

[00:00:28] I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons

[00:00:31] Through a pair of Daisy Duke cut offs and one of those

[00:00:34] Fruit of the loom tank tops

[00:00:36] Well that night I lost myself to ruby red lips

[00:00:39] Milky white skin and baby blue eyes

[00:00:44] Name was Russell

[00:00:46] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:00:55] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:01:04] Well I find it's quite a thrill

[00:01:08] When she grinds me against her will

[00:01:13] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:01:24] Well faster than you can say shallow grave

[00:01:27] This pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls

[00:01:30] Like hard boiled eggs in a tube sock

[00:01:33] Said her name was Bambi

[00:01:35] And I said well that's a coincidence darlin'

[00:01:37] 'Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer

[00:01:41] Well she smiled had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern

[00:01:44] And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask

[00:01:48] As I do my little kooky dance

[00:01:51] And then she told me to shush

[00:01:53] I guess she could sense my desperation

[00:01:56] 'Course

[00:01:56] It's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl

[00:01:59] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:02:09] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:02:18] Well I find it's quite a thrill

[00:02:22] When she grinds me against her will

[00:02:27] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:02:37] So Bambi's goin' on about

[00:02:39] How she can make all my fantasies come true

[00:02:42] So I says even this one I have where Jesus Christ

[00:02:46] Is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole

[00:02:48] With a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something

[00:02:51] Resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on

[00:02:53] Santa Claus's tummy tum

[00:02:55] Well ten beers twenty minutes and thirty dollars later

[00:02:58] I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean

[00:03:02] Got to nail her back at her trailer

[00:03:04] Heh that rhymes

[00:03:07] I have to admit it was even more of a turn on

[00:03:11] When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula

[00:03:13] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:03:21] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:03:32] Well I find it's quite a thrill

[00:03:36] When she grinds me against her will

[00:03:41] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:03:49] Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch

[00:03:54] Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into the stinky pinky gulp

[00:03:57] N' guzzle big rig snooze a stop

[00:04:00] There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb

[00:04:03] When I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton

[00:04:07] Well my heart just dropped

[00:04:10] So I decided to do what any good christian would

[00:04:14] You can not imagine

[00:04:15] How difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice

[00:04:18] And polish the one eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five

[00:04:20] In an eighteen-wheeler

[00:04:23] I never thought missing children could be so sexy

[00:04:26] Did I say that out loud

[00:04:28] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:04:37] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

[00:04:46] Well I find it's quite a thrill

[00:04:51] When she grinds me against her will

[00:04:55] Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'