《The Biggest Aspirdistra In The World》歌词

[00:00:00] The Biggest Aspidistra In The World - Gracie Fields

[00:00:02] Written by：Connor/Harper/Haines

[00:00:08] For years we had an aspidistra in a flower pot

[00:00:12] On the what not near the at stand in the all

[00:00:16] It didn't seem to grow 'til one day our brother Joe

[00:00:19] Had a notion that he'd make it strong and tall

[00:00:24] So he's crossed it with an acorn from an oak tree

[00:00:28] And he's planted it against the garden wall

[00:00:32] It shot up like a rocket 'til it nearly touched the sky

[00:00:36] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:00:41] We couldn't see the top of it it got so bloomin' high

[00:00:45] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:00:50] When father's had a skin full at his pub the bunch of grapes

[00:00:54] He doesn't go all fighting mad and getting into scrapes

[00:00:58] You'll find him in his bear skin playing Tarzan of the Apes

[00:01:04] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:10] We have to get it watered by the local fire brigade

[00:01:13] So they put the water rates up half a crown

[00:01:18] The roots stuff up the drains grow along the country lanes

[00:01:22] And they came up half a mile outside the town

[00:01:26] Once we hired the crystal palace for an hot house

[00:01:30] But a jealous rival went and burnt it down

[00:01:37] The tom-cats and the Moggies love to spend their evenings out

[00:01:41] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:47] They all begin meowing when the buds begin to sprout

[00:01:51] Up the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:01:56] The dogs line up for miles and miles a funny sight to see

[00:02:01] They sniff around for hours on end and wag their tails with glee

[00:02:06] So I've had to put a notice up to say it's not a tree

[00:02:12] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:18] It's getting worn and weiry and its leaves are turning grey

[00:02:23] It's the oldest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:28] So we water it with half a pint of Guinness every day

[00:02:33] It's the stoutest aspidistra in the world

[00:02:38] The borough council told us that we've got to chop it down

[00:02:43] It interferes with Aeroplanes that fly above the town

[00:02:48] So we sold it to a wood yard for a lousy half a crown

[00:02:54] It's the biggest aspidistra in the world

[00:03:02] A biggest biggest biggest aspidistra