《理想与真谛》歌词

[00:00:00] 理想与真谛 - 麦兜
[00:00:01] 我的志愿
[00:00:02] 是做一个工程师
[00:00:04] 每天 我会做很多工程
[00:00:07] 下班后
[00:00:08] 我到超级市场买一瓶大可乐
[00:00:11] 一包卤水蛋 还有一包火腿
[00:00:14] 因为 减价呀
[00:00:16] 我的志愿
[00:00:18] 是做一个消防队长
[00:00:22] 每天 我会扑灭很多火
[00:00:25] 下班后
[00:00:26] 我和我的队员小明 小强
[00:00:30] 芙蓉姐他们一起吃一个套餐
[00:00:34] 有虾 有鱼
[00:00:36] 还可以选择冬瓜盅代替例汤
[00:00:41] 可是 要加三十元
[00:00:43] 我的志愿 是做一个校长
[00:00:46] 每天 收集了学生的学费之后
[00:00:50] 就去吃火锅
[00:00:51] 今天吃麻辣火锅
[00:00:53] 明天吃酸菜鱼火锅
[00:00:55] 后天吃猪骨头火锅
[00:00:57] 陈老师直夸我
[00:00:59] 麦兜 你终于找到生命的真谛了
[00:01:02] 阿may:
[00:01:23] 麦兜呀 请问
[00:01:24] 你扮演的是什么呀
[00:01:26] 麦兜:
[00:01:27] OL啊
[00:01:28] 阿may:
[00:01:29] 什么
[00:01:29] 麦兜:
[00:01:30] OL啊
[00:01:38] 就是 office lady啊
[00:01:40] 我问过人了
[00:01:42] 做OL上班可以不用穿裤子的
[00:01:46] 阿may:
[00:01:47] 你阉了去做OL吧
[00:01:50] 麦兜:
[00:01:50] 做OL要阉的吗
[00:01:52] 阿may:
[00:01:53] 当然要啦
[00:01:54] 麦兜:
[00:01:55] 阉了还能不能结婚
[00:01:57] 阿may:
[00:01:57] 不能呐 你很想结婚吗
[00:02:01] 麦兜:
[00:02:01] 结婚喜酒有鱼翅吃
[00:02:03] 阿may:
[00:02:04] 切 想吃鱼翅啊
[00:02:06] 那你要做医生 律师 做老板
[00:02:12] 他们天天吃鱼翅
[00:02:13] 麦兜:
[00:02:14] 天天吃鱼翅 会不会很伤胃啊
[00:02:17] 阿may:
[00:02:18] 切 怕伤胃
[00:02:19] 就弄条龙虾鲍鱼啊 吃火锅咯
[00:02:23] 麦兜:
[00:02:23] 咦 吃火锅 正呐
[00:02:26] 麦兜:
[00:02:27] 那做医生 律师什么的
[00:02:29] 用不用阉呐
[00:02:31] 阿may:
[00:02:32] 不用 医生 律师是负责阉人的
[00:02:35] 麦兜:
[00:02:36] 好哇
[00:02:37] 阿may:
[00:02:57] 麦兜啊 你是不是还想做OL啊
[00:03:00] 麦兜:
[00:03:00] 妈妈不让她说我要传宗接代
[00:03:04] 阿may:
[00:03:05] 那你想做什么
[00:03:06] 麦兜:
[00:03:07] 还是去做救生员吧
[00:03:09] 反正我有一条游泳裤
[00:03:11] 阿may:
[00:03:12] 你不是很怕死吗
[00:03:13] 麦兜:
[00:03:14] 原来 救生员没有多少人要救的
[00:03:19] 主要就是坐在那里
[00:03:20] 阿may:
[00:03:21] 你不是怕闷吗
[00:03:22] 麦兜:
[00:03:23] 怎么个闷法
[00:03:23] 阿may:
[00:03:23] 就是傻傻的
[00:03:25] 呆头呆脑地坐一天呐
[00:03:27] 麦兜:
[00:03:28] 哦 不怕 真是闷
[00:03:30] 就吃些零食咯
[00:03:32] 优良品质旺旺嗲嗲嗲咯
[00:03:35] 阿may:
[00:03:35] 你怎么就知道吃啊 吃完了干嘛
[00:03:38] 麦兜:
[00:03:39] 拉屎啊
[00:03:39] 阿may:
[00:03:40] 笨猪 我指的是那些生命意义啊
[00:03:44] 真谛啊什么的
[00:03:45] 麦兜:
[00:03:49] 哦 真谛啊
[00:03:51] 有一次我跟妈妈去吃肯德基
[00:03:54] 一端上来 我没戴手套就去拿鸡
[00:03:57] 妈妈马上就教训我
[00:04:00] 你这个臭小子不洗手就抓鸡
[00:04:02] 吃着吃着就痒啊痒
[00:04:05] 然后就用那只手去抓抓这抓抓那
[00:04:08] 抓完之后又去抓鸡
[00:04:10] 吃着吃着一会儿又尿急
[00:04:12] 就抓完鸡不洗手就去抓真谛
[00:04:15] 抓完真谛又去抓鸡
[00:04:16] 第二天就哭着说
[00:04:18] 妈妈 我的真谛好疼啊
[00:04:21] 还有好多红点点
[00:04:23] 当然啦
[00:04:24] 你这个臭小子抓完鸡不洗手
[00:04:26] 就去抓真谛
[00:04:28] 擦药膏又掉眼泪大哭大叫
[00:04:31] 好疼啊 我的真谛好疼啊
[00:04:33] 这会儿 谁可怜你的真谛
[00:04:36] 阿may:
[00:04:37] 我想你举的例子不是真谛
[00:04:41] 麦兜:
[00:04:43] 啊 我只有一个真谛啊
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