《The Ballad Of Billy Kershaw(2006 Digital Remaster)》歌词

[00:00:00] The Ballad Of Billy Kershaw - Jake Thackray

[00:00:07] He was small and baggy-trousered

[00:00:09] He was nondescript and shy

[00:00:10] But in his breast there burned a sacred flame

[00:00:13] For women melted and surrendered

[00:00:15] When they looked into his eyes

[00:00:17] (Little Billy Kershaw was the name by the way

[00:00:20] He worked as a country ploughman so they say

[00:00:23] Oh Lothario and Casanova mighty Don Juan

[00:00:26] Those legendary goats of days of yore

[00:00:29] Billy was better with his eyes closed

[00:00:31] On one leg and with no hands

[00:00:33] (A trick which he could actually perform

[00:00:35] By the way

[00:00:36] Spectacular but dodgy so they say

[00:00:39] He never did it for the profit of it

[00:00:41] Never for applause

[00:00:43] Only the silvery laughter that it caused

[00:00:52] There was a difference in that Billy

[00:00:54] Kershaw never picked the best

[00:00:56] The beautiful the golden ones

[00:00:57] That most men would

[00:00:59] But the ugly ones the poorest

[00:01:01] The despised the dispossessed

[00:01:02] (Where else would a hunchback

[00:01:04] Get a cuddle by the way

[00:01:06] Harelips can kiss or so they say )

[00:01:08] And so the shop-girl with the whiskers

[00:01:11] Or the limping shepherdess

[00:01:12] The squinting barmaid (her with the pocky skin)

[00:01:15] Even the horse-like countess with

[00:01:17] The teeth and meagre breasts

[00:01:18] (Which in fact had often harboured

[00:01:20] Billy's chin by the way

[00:01:22] Haughty but snug so they say)

[00:01:24] He never did it for the profit of it

[00:01:27] Never for applause

[00:01:28] Only the common comfort that it caused

[00:01:38] Many a poor distracted Catholic

[00:01:40] Rating Billy over Lourdes

[00:01:41] Came smiling down his staircase

[00:01:43] All her frenzy gone

[00:01:44] And the husband far from angry

[00:01:47] Would be chuffed that she was cured

[00:01:48] (And buy him a pint in the local later on

[00:01:50] By the way;

[00:01:51] Horses for courses as they say)

[00:01:54] He responded to the colonel's

[00:01:56] Widow's desperate appeal

[00:01:57] In the colonel's house upon the

[00:01:59] Colonel's tiger skin

[00:02:00] And in the potter's shop the potter's

[00:02:02] Wife upon the potter's wheel

[00:02:04] (Which was steadily continuing to spin

[00:02:06] By the way

[00:02:07] A right tour de force so they say)

[00:02:10] But never ever for the profit of it

[00:02:13] Never the applause

[00:02:14] Only the passing happiness it caused

[00:02:23] But soon the news of Billy Kershaw and

[00:02:25] His life-enhancing powers

[00:02:27] Became across the county widely known

[00:02:29] And by his cottage gate the coachloads

[00:02:32] Waited patiently for hours

[00:02:33] (The drivers made a bundle going home

[00:02:36] By the way

[00:02:36] Their caps were full of silver so they say )

[00:02:39] And the village did a roaring trade in

[00:02:42] Teas and souvenirs

[00:02:43] In ash trays and the local watercress

[00:02:46] Until Billy disillusioned simply ups

[00:02:48] And disappears

[00:02:49] (Leaving no forwarding address by the way

[00:02:52] Could be anywhere at all or so they say )

[00:02:55] But it was not for the profit of it

[00:02:58] Not for the applause

[00:02:59] Only the consolation that it caused

[00:03:08] If there should be a sad neglected

[00:03:10] Wretched woman in your life

[00:03:12] It could well be that Billy's near at hand

[00:03:15] Perhaps your auntie or your daughter

[00:03:17] Or your mother or your wife

[00:03:18] (And when did you last see your grandma

[00:03:21] By the way

[00:03:22] No genuine case is ever turned away )

[00:03:25] He's no rascal he's no charlatan

[00:03:26] No mountebank no snob;

[00:03:28] Whoever you are he'll treat you just the same

[00:03:31] He is small and baggy-trousered

[00:03:33] And he does a tidy job

[00:03:35] (Little Billy Kershaw is the name by the way;

[00:03:38] He worked as a country ploughman so they say )

[00:03:41] But never ever for the profit of it

[00:03:43] Never the applause

[00:03:44] Only the common comfort that it caused

[00:03:54] If you find that Billy's ballad is

[00:03:56] Extravagant or trite

[00:03:57] Offensive irrelevant or untrue

[00:04:00] That may well be but here's a moral

[00:04:02] Which will make us feel all right

[00:04:04] (A moral which may well apply to you

[00:04:06] By the way;

[00:04:07] Takes one to know one as they say)

[00:04:10] If you're ugly if you're weak or meek

[00:04:12] Or queer form a queue

[00:04:14] And the rest of us will travel from afar

[00:04:16] And systematically we'll do to you

[00:04:18] What Billy used to do

[00:04:20] But more regular and always twice

[00:04:22] As hard by the way

[00:04:23] Mea culpa mea culpa

[00:04:25] As they used to say