《水浒0083》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由TME AI技术生成

[00:00:01] 上回书说到武松发配这一天

[00:00:07] 往前走

[00:00:07] 抬头一看 嚯

[00:00:10] 在眼前不远儿就是个小村庄

[00:00:15] 有那么十几户人家

[00:00:18] 傍山靠水

[00:00:22] 武松一看

[00:00:22] 这阵不错

[00:00:23] 唉唉

[00:00:25] 离老远看见酒馆了

[00:00:27] 看见没

[00:00:28] 那是饭馆儿

[00:00:29] 咱们就到那歇角儿

[00:00:31] 唉 行行行

[00:00:34] 时间不大

[00:00:35] 到小村落前边儿

[00:00:38] 在村子口道旁边儿有一棵大柳树

[00:00:43] 这大树五个人合抱抱不过来那么粗

[00:00:49] 像一把大伞相似

[00:00:52] 那酒火和酒旗坐在树上挂着

[00:00:56] 离多远都能看见

[00:00:59] 再看靠着道边儿山坡旁儿

[00:01:03] 有那么五间门脸

[00:01:06] 挺大挺大一个酒馆儿

[00:01:09] 虽然是土坯房草顶啊

[00:01:13] 但是干净宽阔

[00:01:16] 后边还带着桃院

[00:01:19] 他们三位迈步就进了酒馆儿了

[00:01:24] 唉

[00:01:24] 还真没有喝酒的

[00:01:26] 就他们仨人找凉快地方

[00:01:30] 他们坐下了

[00:01:31] 两名解差把水火棍倚到墙角

[00:01:37] 把武松的刑夹给打开

[00:01:40] 往桌上一放

[00:01:41] 其他应用之物放到桌儿底下

[00:01:45] 把纽扣全解开

[00:01:47] 呼哧呼哧直喘

[00:01:49] 拿手巾擦擦汗

[00:01:53] 可武松坐下之后抬头一看

[00:01:57] 柜台后面坐着个女人

[00:02:01] 和这女的刀似的

[00:02:03] 太扎眼了

[00:02:06] 这个女子平顶

[00:02:07] 身高没有八尺五也差不多少

[00:02:11] 比一般的男人都高出一头来

[00:02:16] 肩宽背后是膀大腰粗

[00:02:22] 满脑袋黄焦焦的头发

[00:02:25] 还梳了个美人蕉

[00:02:30] 鬓角上插着不少野花

[00:02:33] 往脸上看

[00:02:35] 脸上还抹了不少官粉

[00:02:38] 可能抹的太多了

[00:02:40] 一眨巴眼儿往下扎着着眉眉打着

[00:02:44] 还抹抹了点腮红

[00:02:47] 度了点儿胭脂

[00:02:50] 上身儿穿红

[00:02:52] 下身儿葱心儿汗金儿纱腰

[00:02:57] 戴着金戒指

[00:03:00] 哪把大蒲扇扑嗒扑嗒扇着

[00:03:04] 可这些女人也看了看武松他们

[00:03:07] 等他们坐稳凳之后

[00:03:10] 小伙计刚要过来

[00:03:13] 女掌柜的过来了

[00:03:15] 慢着

[00:03:17] 哟

[00:03:18] 三位大爷从远路来吧

[00:03:21] 天热了

[00:03:22] 来来来

[00:03:23] 拿两把蒲扇来

[00:03:25] 唉

[00:03:26] 快去打净面水来

[00:03:29] 哎 满热情

[00:03:31] 三个人也没客气

[00:03:33] 洗完脸之后坐下

[00:03:36] 这女掌柜吩咐一声

[00:03:38] 泡茶

[00:03:41] 天儿热

[00:03:42] 喝点茶水去暑

[00:03:44] 他亲自给三人倒了一碗

[00:03:48] 武松心中暗想

[00:03:50] 这个女人绝非等闲之辈

[00:03:54] 你瞅着这身烧

[00:03:55] 这个打扮

[00:03:56] 这两个眼睛叽里咕噜来回直转

[00:04:00] 哎呀

[00:04:01] 我可得多加点小心哪

[00:04:04] 那会儿我就听说孟州岛不太平

[00:04:11] 人谨慎了

[00:04:12] 没有亏失

[00:04:14] 可武松还发现

[00:04:15] 就在他洗脸一转身这个时候

[00:04:19] 一个女人假装皮鞋

[00:04:23] 把手伸到桌子底下去了

[00:04:25] 摸了摸武松他们这包

[00:04:29] 俩解差没注意

[00:04:30] 武松可看清楚了

[00:04:33] 武松心里一动

[00:04:34] 呵

[00:04:37] 干什么

[00:04:38] 莫非这是贼骗

[00:04:42] 哦

[00:04:44] 摸摸我们那包里有没有硬头货

[00:04:47] 嘿嘿

[00:04:50] 你真要是个贼婆子

[00:04:52] 你可错打了算盘了

[00:04:55] 这一路之上除了热之外

[00:04:58] 枯燥无味

[00:05:00] 正好拿你寻凶开心

[00:05:04] 武松就打定主意了

[00:05:08] 切了五斤牛肉五斤狗肉

[00:05:12] 酒端上来了

[00:05:15] 他们开始在这儿喝酒

[00:05:18] 武松的眼睛就盯着这个女主人

[00:05:22] 一瞅这女子先帘儿奔后院儿去了好半天

[00:05:27] 二次回来也盯着武松他们

[00:05:32] 鬼头鬼脑的不知道该些什么

[00:05:36] 武松心说不管你是什么玩意儿吧

[00:05:40] 我先试探试探

[00:05:42] 两壶酒喝下去之后

[00:05:44] 武松把腿翘起来了

[00:05:47] 唉

[00:05:49] 吕掌柜

[00:05:52] 有当家的吗

[00:05:55] 这俩戒差一听

[00:05:57] 捂着嘴儿就乐

[00:05:58] 这不没事儿逗咳嗽吗

[00:06:01] 那个女人把脸往下一沉

[00:06:03] 当时也乐了

[00:06:05] 啊

[00:06:06] 瞧这位大爷说的

[00:06:10] 我能没有当家的吗

[00:06:11] 有啊 哦

[00:06:14] 请问你的掌柜到哪儿去了

[00:06:17] 唉 他呀

[00:06:19] 是个买卖人

[00:06:20] 到外边儿做买卖去了

[00:06:24] 是吗

[00:06:27] 哎呀

[00:06:27] 长途跋涉

[00:06:30] 一半会儿回不来吧

[00:06:33] 我 吕掌柜

[00:06:34] 你一个人觉着不烦闷吗

[00:06:37] 嗯

[00:06:39] 你要觉着枯燥无味的话

[00:06:41] 来来来

[00:06:42] 陪我们喝上几杯

[00:06:45] 好咱们开开心

[00:06:50] 怎么样

[00:06:53] 女掌柜的闻听

[00:06:54] 脸上的肉嘣嘣嘣就蹦了好几下

[00:06:57] 马上又变了脸了

[00:06:59] 还是乐呵呵的

[00:07:01] 啊 啊 嗨

[00:07:02] 大爷您太有意思了

[00:07:05] 我都这么大的年纪了

[00:07:07] 有什么乐子可寻的啊

[00:07:10] 您别拿我随便开心了

[00:07:13] 我说伙计

[00:07:14] 给三位大爷敬酒来了

[00:07:17] 又有一坛子酒端桌上了

[00:07:24] 武松倒了一杯

[00:07:26] 看了看

[00:07:26] 酒挺清知

[00:07:28] 这里头没毛病

[00:07:30] 呵

[00:07:32] 一会儿这坛子酒又下去了

[00:07:36] 咱没说嘛

[00:07:37] 那会儿那个酒啊

[00:07:39] 度数不高

[00:07:41] 都是低度酒

[00:07:43] 类似现在的啤酒差不多少

[00:07:46] 不然的话能一坛子一坛子喝吗

[00:07:51] 他们喝的酒啊

[00:07:53] 就当解渴

[00:07:54] 就当凉快了

[00:07:56] 但是不等于这种酒没有劲儿

[00:07:58] 这玩意儿后半勺武松是海量

[00:08:04] 一口气儿喝两坛子没问题

[00:08:07] 他也不带醉的

[00:08:09] 后来武松吩咐一声

[00:08:11] 来

[00:08:12] 再给我添酒添肉

[00:08:16] 又添了五斤肉

[00:08:19] 这女掌柜的亲自去给取酒

[00:08:22] 大爷

[00:08:23] 您喝这酒觉着怎么样

[00:08:26] 嗯 味道不错

[00:08:29] 您再尝尝

[00:08:31] 这就是陈年好酒

[00:08:35] 比方才您喝过的酒啊

[00:08:37] 劲儿要大得多

[00:08:40] 不知道你满意不满意

[00:08:42] 拿来我看

[00:08:46] 武松拿过一只大碗来

[00:08:48] 倒了半碗

[00:08:50] 仔细一看这酒

[00:08:51] 看出毛病了

[00:08:52] 酒发昏

[00:08:55] 提鼻子一闻

[00:08:57] 多少有点腥味儿

[00:09:00] 嗯

[00:09:00] 武松心里明白

[00:09:02] 这酒里头有毛病

[00:09:04] 肯定下了麻醉药了

[00:09:08] 那武松有经验哪

[00:09:10] 但是装糊涂

[00:09:12] 嗯

[00:09:13] 这酒的味儿可是不错

[00:09:15] 你早应该给我上这样的好酒

[00:09:18] 是吗

[00:09:19] 那就请您多喝几碗

[00:09:21] 来来

[00:09:23] 给俩解差也满上了

[00:09:26] 这俩解差一对糊涂虫

[00:09:30] 他哪知这里有毛病

[00:09:32] 端起来每人喝了一口

[00:09:36] 嗯 是 是有劲儿

[00:09:38] 嗯

[00:09:38] 是比刚才那酒味浓的多

[00:09:40] 好酒好酒

[00:09:42] 等噔噔噔噔噔一人喝了两碗

[00:09:49] 可就在女掌柜的一转身的功夫

[00:09:52] 武松把那半碗酒泼地上了

[00:09:57] 假装喝了

[00:09:59] 可就在这时

[00:10:00] 就发现两名解差眼睛往上一翻

[00:10:04] 唉呀 这哎呀

[00:10:06] 嗓子这爽着

[00:10:07] 唉

[00:10:08] 怎么么个哎

[00:10:11] 呃 咕通扑通

[00:10:12] 全都摔倒在地

[00:10:15] 武松呢

[00:10:16] 往桌上一趴

[00:10:18] 也假装中了麻醉药了

[00:10:22] 这时这吕掌柜的唰喇把身转过来

[00:10:26] 把腰一叉

[00:10:27] 是一阵大笑

[00:10:34] 他娘的龟孙兔崽子

[00:10:37] 呸

[00:10:39] 哪来的贼配军

[00:10:41] 找老娘的便宜

[00:10:43] 你找死

[00:10:45] 小三小五

[00:10:47] 来了来了

[00:10:49] 后边出来好几个胖小伙子

[00:10:53] 把他们抬到人肉作子给我收拾着

[00:10:56] 唉

[00:10:59] 把桑人架到后院去了

[00:11:03] 武松听得清清楚楚

[00:11:05] 什么

[00:11:06] 抬到哪儿去了

[00:11:09] 人肉作坊

[00:11:10] 唉呦呵

[00:11:12] 还要把我们卸巴了是怎么的

[00:11:15] 嗯

[00:11:17] 武二郎心里这么想着

[00:11:19] 可是被四个人抬着到了后院儿了

[00:11:23] 有个地门子

[00:11:25] 地子 就

[00:11:26] 就现在地

[00:11:27] 地下可挺宽

[00:11:30] 宽拐弯弯角角了好长一段时间

[00:11:33] 到了地方呢

[00:11:38] 好像乒乓球那大案子

[00:11:40] 有四五个

[00:11:42] 把他们仨放案子上

[00:11:45] 武松眯缝着眼儿一瞅

[00:11:48] 吓得头发根儿都竖起来了

[00:11:51] 唉呦

[00:11:53] 这简直是人间地狱呀

[00:11:57] 在眼前的墙上有几把大钩子

[00:12:02] 挂着好几条大腿

[00:12:05] 好往墙角一看

[00:12:08] 还有好几颗血淋淋的脑袋

[00:12:12] 啊

[00:12:13] 这就是人肉作坊想要把我们收拾的卖人肉是怎么的

[00:12:20] 他心里想着

[00:12:22] 就发现旁边有人把水烧开了

[00:12:27] 这女掌柜的挽挽袖子系上围裙

[00:12:30] 要亲自尝刀

[00:12:32] 在他离身受诅咒二位底下嚓啦楞的拽出一把剔骨头两面湿刃的剑刀

[00:12:43] 对武松就要下家伙

[00:12:46] 因为武松找到便宜了他武

[00:12:49] 武松拿他开开刀

[00:12:52] 武松能叫他收拾吗

[00:12:56] 就在他刚一伸手的时候

[00:12:58] 我郎使了个鲤鱼把柄

[00:13:01] 向使了个高挂连环腿烧啦

[00:13:06] 这一脚正蹬到于掌柜肚子上

[00:13:10] 那武松多大的劲儿

[00:13:12] 把余掌柜给蹬的那个红头跳了

[00:13:17] 摔出一丈多远

[00:13:18] 刀也撒手了

[00:13:21] 唉

[00:13:22] 这余掌柜的马虎一咕噜神儿站起来

[00:13:25] 药诈尸了是怎么的

[00:13:28] 怎么这药没有劲儿了

[00:13:30] 给我打

[00:13:33] 里里外外十几个棒小伙子各抄家伙

[00:13:38] 把武松就围上了

[00:13:41] 武松往肉往二上一站

[00:13:43] 哈哈大叫

[00:13:44] 好嘛 来吧

[00:13:46] 龟孙们

[00:13:48] 今儿看咱们谁收拾谁

[00:13:52] 你想想

[00:13:53] 这帮人怎么是武松的对手

[00:13:58] 眨眼的功夫让五郎给揍的东倒西歪

[00:14:02] 是鼻青脸肿

[00:14:03] 爹妈瞧叫

[00:14:06] 再者一说

[00:14:07] 这里边能有多大的地方

[00:14:09] 也施展不开呀

[00:14:11] 后来这女掌柜的飞身枪到了外边了就骂

[00:14:16] 我的大哥

[00:14:17] 有种的你出来

[00:14:19] 爷爷来了

[00:14:22] 紧跟着武松从地闷子到了平地

[00:14:27] 可这时候这女掌柜的从屋里头抄起一条铜棍来

[00:14:32] 跟武松就站在一处

[00:14:37] 武松暗自点头

[00:14:39] 罢了

[00:14:41] 这女人果然有把子力气

[00:14:44] 好功夫

[00:14:45] 受过名人的传授

[00:14:46] 高人的指点

[00:14:47] 不然的话

[00:14:48] 手底下不能这么干净

[00:14:50] 不过你跟我比

[00:14:52] 你还是差点儿啊

[00:14:55] 后来呀

[00:14:56] 这女掌柜的一棍子砸空

[00:15:00] 被武松冷不丁把棍头给抓住

[00:15:03] 砰

[00:15:04] 你给我

[00:15:06] 你给我吧你

[00:15:09] 武松往怀里一带

[00:15:12] 女掌柜的没收住身子

[00:15:15] 往前这么一摘来

[00:15:18] 让武松一脚是二次蹬口

[00:15:22] 然后用脚板儿踩住

[00:15:26] 把拳头就举起来了

[00:15:29] 要用景阳冈打虎的印头儿造这母叶上把针给嗨上

[00:15:38] 这女人的命就保不住了

[00:15:41] 就在这紧要关头

[00:15:43] 角门呢有人喊了一声

[00:15:45] 声音洪亮

[00:15:47] 啊 啪

[00:15:49] 好汉留情

[00:15:53] 武松就没打

[00:15:55] 甩两关看哗站着一个三十多岁的中年人

[00:16:03] 此人头上戴着甩头疙瘩巾

[00:16:08] 周身穿青

[00:16:09] 遍体挂皂

[00:16:11] 面似姜黄

[00:16:14] 一对黑眼珠是锃明发亮啊

[00:16:18] 胸脯好像扣两个大板

[00:16:21] 后边还跟着几个伙计

[00:16:26] 武松一看就知道是个练家子

[00:16:31] 但这个人跟这个女掌柜什么关系

[00:16:33] 他不清楚

[00:16:35] 就在这时

[00:16:36] 这主抢步过来了

[00:16:39] 冲着武松是一躬到地

[00:16:42] 呀

[00:16:43] 好汉留情

[00:16:44] 小可这厢有礼了

[00:16:49] 你看这武松啊

[00:16:51] 不怕横的怕软的

[00:16:54] 他要把脚一抬

[00:16:56] 这女人一咕噜声站起来了

[00:17:00] 呲牙咧嘴

[00:17:02] 双手拄着腰

[00:17:03] 唉呦哎呦

[00:17:06] 可把我打死了

[00:17:08] 当家的

[00:17:09] 你给我出气来的

[00:17:12] 这主冲着他一瞪眼

[00:17:14] 这到一边来来气

[00:17:16] 给我惹祸了

[00:17:20] 然后对武松说

[00:17:22] 请问好汉尊姓大名

[00:17:26] 仙乡何处

[00:17:28] 问

[00:17:29] 武松稍微愣了一下

[00:17:31] 又一想

[00:17:33] 没必要

[00:17:34] 隐姓埋名我怕什么

[00:17:37] 我都落到这份儿上了

[00:17:39] 无所顾忌

[00:17:41] 武松把胸脯一拔

[00:17:43] 问 我

[00:17:44] 我是山东清河县的人

[00:17:47] 姓武名松

[00:17:49] 排行第二

[00:17:51] 武松师也

[00:17:55] 哎呀

[00:17:56] 莫非您就是景阳岗上打死猛虎的英雄

[00:18:01] 正是在下

[00:18:03] 这个人是倒身便拜

[00:18:08] 久为武壮士大名轰雷贯耳

[00:18:11] 今日得见

[00:18:13] 三生有幸啊

[00:18:15] 得罪了得罪了

[00:18:17] 回过手拉那女掌柜的

[00:18:20] 跪下跪下

[00:18:21] 这是打虎的好汉

[00:18:24] 这女掌柜的闻听

[00:18:25] 吐了一下舌头

[00:18:26] 缩了一下脖儿

[00:18:28] 妈耶

[00:18:29] 原来是他呀

[00:18:31] 我说这么邪乎呢

[00:18:33] 好像没到老虎把我给拍到这儿

[00:18:37] 他还开了句玩笑

[00:18:39] 飘飘万福

[00:18:42] 武松哪见过这个

[00:18:44] 往旁边一闪身

[00:18:46] 以礼相还

[00:18:48] 不敢当不敢当

[00:18:50] 方才多有得罪

[00:18:53] 唉呀

[00:18:55] 大水出了龙王庙

[00:18:56] 一家人不认一家人了

[00:18:58] 当家的

[00:18:59] 快点叫咱们孩子们排摆酒宴

[00:19:03] 给打虎的壮士接风

[00:19:05] 对对对

[00:19:06] 我要准备准备

[00:19:08] 把虎王摘了

[00:19:09] 不卖座了

[00:19:10] 专门招待虎虎英雄

[00:19:14] 你说这帮人

[00:19:16] 方才呲牙瞪眼玩命

[00:19:18] 现在成为一家人了

[00:19:21] 一个个都像喜面佛似的

[00:19:24] 把火儿摘了

[00:19:25] 闸板儿上上

[00:19:27] 里边排摆酒宴

[00:19:29] 煎炒膨胀

[00:19:30] 款待武松

[00:19:32] 武松和我

[00:19:33] 我那还有俩伙计呢

[00:19:35] 还在你们那个人肉作坊呢

[00:19:38] 唉 放心吧

[00:19:39] 马上就把他们给放了

[00:19:42] 给俩解差灌了解药

[00:19:45] 把他们架到外头来了

[00:19:47] 呵

[00:19:47] 这二位好半天才明白过来了

[00:19:51] 嗯

[00:19:53] 唉唉

[00:19:55] 喂

[00:19:56] 往这边儿看看

[00:19:56] 往那边看看

[00:19:58] 我这酒还真不错

[00:20:01] 真有劲儿

[00:20:02] 喝完就睡着了

[00:20:03] 一句话惹的是哄堂大笑

[00:20:08] 武松心说可不是这酒不错吗

[00:20:11] 要没有我呀

[00:20:13] 你早叫人家谢巴了

[00:20:17] 两名解差后来才明白是怎么回事儿

[00:20:20] 吓得冒出一身冷汗哪

[00:20:24] 这时已经调摆桌椅

[00:20:28] 这男女二人请武松上座

[00:20:32] 武松说什么也不答应

[00:20:35] 二位啊

[00:20:36] 你们光问了我

[00:20:39] 我还没有请教二位尊姓大名呢

[00:20:43] 唉 坐下说

[00:20:44] 坐下说

[00:20:46] 远来者为客

[00:20:48] 理应上坐

[00:20:51] 武松没办法

[00:20:53] 坐下了

[00:20:54] 两名解差挨着他坐下

[00:20:57] 这一男一女坐在对面

[00:21:00] 其他的伙计们垂手站立在两旁

[00:21:05] 专去那个满酒布菜的主

[00:21:10] 武松这才问

[00:21:12] 二位

[00:21:13] 请把大名赐下来吧

[00:21:18] 我们有什么大名啊

[00:21:21] 乃是碌碌之辈

[00:21:24] 这男的用手一指自己的鼻子

[00:21:28] 我姓张

[00:21:29] 我叫张青

[00:21:31] 有个小小的绰号

[00:21:33] 菜园子

[00:21:35] 因为当初我在光明寺种过菜

[00:21:39] 故此得名

[00:21:42] 这是见类

[00:21:44] 他一指这女的

[00:21:47] 剑内啊

[00:21:48] 就是夫人

[00:21:50] 客气话呗

[00:21:52] 这是剑内

[00:21:53] 姓孙

[00:21:54] 叫孙二娘

[00:21:56] 江湖绰号母夜叉

[00:22:00] 武松一听就站起来了

[00:22:03] 我说嫂子

[00:22:05] 你可够狠的

[00:22:08] 要不是我多加了留神

[00:22:11] 恐怕我这条命就交代在你手里了

[00:22:14] 孙二娘乐了

[00:22:16] 呀

[00:22:17] 兄弟可别说了

[00:22:19] 要怪呀

[00:22:20] 还得怪你自己

[00:22:22] 谁让你拿话调戏我来的

[00:22:25] 我

[00:22:25] 大伙儿全都乐了

[00:22:28] 武松说 嫂子

[00:22:29] 我从来不开玩笑

[00:22:32] 要说怪我呀

[00:22:33] 不怪

[00:22:34] 还得怪你

[00:22:36] 谁让你伸手往桌底下摸我们的包来的

[00:22:40] 我拿你当歹人了

[00:22:43] 我是有意的试探试探

[00:22:46] 说完了

[00:22:47] 大伙又乐了

[00:22:49] 那么边吃边谈菜园的张青就问武松

[00:22:55] 兄弟

[00:22:57] 你面上刺着金字

[00:23:00] 你怎么摊了官司

[00:23:02] 唉

[00:23:03] 听小弟道来