《门神》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:47] 莫
[00:00:54] 嗯
[00:00:57] 事情发生在今年腊八儿子捎来信儿说用警车接我过年去他家从腊八盼到小年
[00:01:13] 从小年盼到28 也没盼到警车
[00:01:17] 介母家
[00:01:18] 我一看这是乡长泡我她传递信不可能接我今天已经30 了
[00:01:23] 我就别等了主动归案吧
[00:01:29] 再说就我这一生就这个样
[00:01:33] 坐警车容易误会
[00:01:34] 真的人心又严打了
[00:01:41] 到了哎呀
[00:01:44] 30 儿啊
[00:01:45] 过30 儿
[00:01:52] 完了
[00:01:54] 锁门呢
[00:01:56] 肯定是我在家我就担心肯定又值班儿去了你说这个交通警察当着阿姨过年就值班儿一过年就值班
[00:02:05] 没有节假日也没有星期天
[00:02:09] 还不如小偷自由了
[00:02:10] 你说整的
[00:02:42] 啊
[00:02:45] 谁呀
[00:02:47] 哪部分呢我我没有部分
[00:02:51] 每部分你干什么的啊
[00:02:55] 呃
[00:02:56] 没没
[00:02:57] 没没没什么过年啦哈没什么过年啦
[00:03:01] 想上这拿点不是的
[00:03:08] 我是想看看屋里有没有人屋里没人儿外边有人你想进去肯定没门儿大伯
[00:03:17] 你误会啦
[00:03:18] 我是市里研究所的我看出来你是个研究所的谁家没人研究谁家锁啊
[00:03:29] 我不是小偷的你是个关刀
[00:03:32] 我打是这个样子过年了
[00:03:35] 我拿点东西呀
[00:03:37] 这家伙倒是文化人哈
[00:03:40] 偷偷不说偷说哪我跟保平我们
[00:03:47] 是俗人干你们这行砖头书头八脑的
[00:03:51] 哎哟
[00:03:51] 我不是累
[00:03:56] 我是给宝平
[00:03:58] 动大
[00:04:00] 给我儿子送礼
[00:04:01] 你看看
[00:04:03] 出事了
[00:04:04] 出事啦什么事儿出大事啦
[00:04:07] 快说就在半个月前的一个傍晚啊
[00:04:11] 我的妻子领着我的女儿横过马路
[00:04:14] 突然一辆自行车冲了过来
[00:04:17] 把我的女儿撞倒在地
[00:04:19] 他的头重重的磕到了马路牙子上
[00:04:23] 我的妻子看到昏迷不醒的孩子
[00:04:27] 是叫天天不应叫地地不灵
[00:04:29] 拦车车不停啊
[00:04:32] 她哭着喊女儿啊
[00:04:33] 女儿啊
[00:04:34] 我的老天爷让我怎么好
[00:04:40] 就在这个时候正在上海的井保平同志一个店铺冲了过来
[00:04:45] 蓝过了一辆小车直奔医院
[00:04:48] 医生说这个孩子如果晚来五分钟就没命了
[00:04:52] 现在已经保住了吗
[00:04:53] 保住了那就行了呗
[00:04:56] 整这事干啥大伯
[00:04:58] 这哪是整事啊我我是来了了解一份心愿吗
[00:05:03] 哎呀
[00:05:04] 没事儿用不着送礼送啥礼呀
[00:05:06] 不行大伯呢
[00:05:07] 好啊
[00:05:08] 你是谁啊
[00:05:09] 你我刚才说了
[00:05:12] 我是小景他爹老景
[00:05:15] 你你是大伯
[00:05:17] 哎
[00:05:17] 那太好了
[00:05:18] 大伯那那东西交给你啦
[00:05:19] 不能收BB 我放心吧
[00:05:21] 跟你私聊跟你说明白
[00:05:23] 绝对不能收我儿子在家他也不会收礼的这点你放心他随我
[00:05:28] 我这么大岁数
[00:05:29] 我不是催就没给别人说实在的
[00:05:32] 谁也没收过谁东西
[00:05:33] 是啊
[00:05:34] 没人给我送了东西放在这里啦
[00:05:41] 再见
[00:05:45] 然后不行大伯我我跟你讲可以告诉你啊
[00:05:49] 别惯这毛病
[00:05:50] 不到万不得已
[00:05:51] 别扯这事儿有这东西给你爹拿去回家过年去吧
[00:05:56] 那好
[00:05:57] 那你请转告保平我们全家感谢他
[00:06:00] 放心吧
[00:06:00] 他应该做的
[00:06:01] 感谢啥呀
[00:06:02] 回去吧
[00:06:04] 哦
[00:06:06] 嗯
[00:06:06] 你真是好爹有啥子就有啥爹
[00:06:14] 我告诉你有啥爹就有啥儿子你好风气啊
[00:06:23] 哎呀
[00:06:24] 还好风气我**说秃噜嘴了
[00:06:37] 几点了
[00:06:38] 我的妈呀
[00:06:38] 这都八点半了
[00:06:42] 咋还不回来
[00:06:43] 你这值班值得有点冷了呢
[00:06:47] 嗯
[00:06:55] 哎呀我啊
[00:07:00] 啊
[00:07:05] 春节晚会开始了
[00:07:08] 上谁家看个电视
[00:07:10] 哎
[00:07:11] 对我给孙子还带个小望远镜放哪了
[00:07:17] 哎
[00:07:24] 这玩意儿嘛玩意儿不大挺好使
[00:07:28] 这节目冯巩说相声呢
[00:07:32] 呵呵
[00:07:35] 这家这门窗咋不关呢
[00:07:38] 这一炮垮不就进去吗
[00:07:41] 哎呀
[00:07:42] 这下这猪肉饭都在外边挂着拿杆子给捅死了
[00:07:49] 这家你就哎
[00:07:50] 也就门口俩大王八
[00:07:55] 哎哟
[00:07:55] 不能看
[00:07:57] 你这小年轻人
[00:07:58] 你挡着窗户帘儿啊
[00:07:59] 你说干啥呢
[00:08:07] 快呢
[00:08:11] 开始啥
[00:08:13] 没干啥没干啥
[00:08:15] 你搁这
[00:08:17] 干啥呢
[00:08:19] 看电视节目电视节目看节目啊
[00:08:25] 你看人家小两口现场直播的吧
[00:08:36] 鞋老头
[00:08:39] 岁数挺大
[00:08:40] 这玩意儿挺现代化的老技术员
[00:08:45] 不是我上这家来家没人儿是有人儿
[00:08:48] 你也不敢进呢
[00:08:50] 我咋不敢进呢
[00:08:51] 行啊
[00:08:52] 老头儿啊
[00:08:53] 不亏拉手门窗没动呢
[00:08:56] 把东西给挤出来了
[00:08:59] 不是我是上这家来的吗
[00:09:01] 这东西我拿的没说别人拿的你干啥呀
[00:09:05] 说干什么
[00:09:07] 你从哪里来
[00:09:09] 城外十里屯一共来几个算我四口人联络暗号
[00:09:14] 什么暗号就是见面
[00:09:16] 说啥过年好他咋回答
[00:09:19] 爹
[00:09:19] 你咋才来呢下来接你还是跌你啊
[00:09:29] 我屋里好大的鼓掌啊
[00:09:32] 你赶上我们交警门口来装的啊
[00:09:34] 你拿东西赶快走干啥
[00:09:38] 哎呀
[00:09:39] 该干啥干啥干啥玩意儿干啥干啥
[00:09:47] 你问完武器是吧
[00:09:53] 发呀发呀
[00:09:56] 可不可以
[00:10:00] 我告诉你
[00:10:01] 我跟你说你
[00:10:04] 我喝点儿酒
[00:10:05] 我整
[00:10:05] 不过你我知道你等保平回来了
[00:10:08] 我收拾不死你
[00:10:09] 你认识保平废话
[00:10:11] 那是我大哥
[00:10:13] 交通警察你敢碰在家门一下我跟你没完
[00:10:17] 你知道我是何等人也
[00:10:21] 你是谁金保平之爹
[00:10:25] 你是宝平地跌错了管换
[00:10:31] 保平今年20几
[00:10:34] 37 她属鸡
[00:10:37] 他媳妇儿姓罗叫罗茜
[00:10:39] 儿子五岁叫天一爱好
[00:10:42] 平时爱喝八加一电话
[00:10:44] 2016457 还问啥
[00:10:48] 哎呀
[00:10:48] 大叔
[00:10:49] 你真是大叔
[00:10:50] 哎呀大叔
[00:10:55] 还问我半天了
[00:10:57] 我倒想问问你是何等人行
[00:10:59] 哎呀
[00:11:00] 他说我我是保平的邻居才是吧
[00:11:05] 你刚放出来啊
[00:11:06] 啥呀
[00:11:07] 我姓柴叫时放这就在前面那楼口住走走走
[00:11:11] 快快上咱家过年去快走
[00:11:13] 别走
[00:11:13] 我先问问你
[00:11:14] 你真是宝瓶邻居应该没错快走吧
[00:11:16] 他上哪去了上岗去落这年年这样过年还不放假
[00:11:21] 他上岗他家嫂子领着孩子回娘家过年去我下半夜陪他喝酒了
[00:11:27] 年年这样
[00:11:28] 你等他没头快走不行
[00:11:30] 我得等着
[00:11:31] 要不孩子回来了
[00:11:32] 冰凉的媳妇也没在家
[00:11:34] 心情不好了也还行
[00:11:36] 但是我陪你老等咱爷俩边喝边等来喝那不喝干啥过年了吗
[00:11:43] 哎呀
[00:11:43] 过年了对吧
[00:11:44] 喝点什么汤都凉啦
[00:11:46] 我带俩搁那儿搁那儿喝啊喝啊
[00:11:53] 花花生米
[00:11:56] 哎呀
[00:11:57] 你说这宝瓶过年了
[00:11:59] 这门口也不贴点儿对联儿啥的
[00:12:01] 整的就像没这事儿似的哪有个时间啊
[00:12:05] 他忙啊
[00:12:06] 他说喝别喝
[00:12:09] 这是孙鸡啊
[00:12:11] 鸡沟帮子沟帮子啊
[00:12:20] 来吃头独占鳌头
[00:12:23] 该我看你你你少喝点啊
[00:12:26] 你有点带进来的
[00:12:27] 我看你啦啊
[00:12:31] 我带啥梯子
[00:12:33] 我代替我头脑特别清醒你你要不信的话
[00:12:37] 咱俩玩游戏玩游戏玩游戏
[00:12:39] 你看我头脑清醒不清醒
[00:12:41] 咱俩数数怎么数数123456
[00:12:45] 逢七七的倍数咳嗽会不
[00:12:48] 哎哟
[00:12:48] 妈脑出血玩儿这玩意儿
[00:12:50] 哎呀哎呀
[00:12:52] 那咱俩咱俩的事儿
[00:12:53] 我跟你说啊
[00:12:54] 我先喝一口要不
[00:12:56] 等于欺负你
[00:12:57] 别别别你别抢着别着来来啊
[00:13:03] 听我34 Hu 67 喝酒跟我俩美
[00:13:10] 哎呀
[00:13:10] 当茶就完了
[00:13:11] 然后再喝一口这不没没注意我完事儿不行啊
[00:13:15] 你还这
[00:13:16] 姜还是老的辣接着来哇
[00:13:19] 唉
[00:13:20] 来123456 后面接着赖君来
[00:13:43] 你先说你先说你长者见长者一二三四五六二八九十十一十二四三二二出来嗨呀来来来快点啊一二三四五六七八九十十一十二十三十五十六十八十九二十二一二二
[00:14:13] 哎呀
[00:14:15] 大哥你你数不过30 去输过30 输过30万
[00:14:24] 今天不就30 吗
[00:14:26] 嗯
[00:14:27] 对了
[00:14:28] 王乐
[00:14:29] 我的妈呀
[00:14:30] 都12点多了
[00:14:32] 咱俩这年前时过得挺有意义是吧
[00:14:36] 宝平今晚还能回来吗
[00:14:37] 呃就是下半夜他走了穿大衣去的吗
[00:14:41] 哎呀大叔你放心能不穿大衣吗
[00:14:44] 大冷天
[00:14:45] 哎呀
[00:14:46] 哎呀
[00:14:46] 当时忘了忘了年都过三三十了我我保平没赶回来
[00:14:51] 我给你老拜年
[00:14:53] 我去保平给你老拜年一过年啊
[00:15:02] 这样吧
[00:15:04] 今天正好赶上过年了
[00:15:06] 杂那个给我儿子或者给所有的什么
[00:15:11] 站岗的交通民警逮着您
[00:15:14] 您大家过年好过年好
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