《《车在囧途》岳云鹏 孙越》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成

[00:00:00] 嗯

[00:00:09] 谢谢

[00:00:12] 谢谢朋友们的掌声

[00:00:16] 非常的热烈

[00:00:17] 我们心情十分的高兴

[00:00:20] 刚才啊说了这么一段节目

[00:00:22] 掌掌掌

[00:00:23] 掌声热烈

[00:00:26] 特别激动

[00:00:27] 特别激动啊

[00:00:29] 哎呀

[00:00:30] 这是我第三次出台

[00:00:31] 按说呢

[00:00:34] 这都是我送的

[00:00:35] 嗯

[00:00:36] 第三次出现在舞台上

[00:00:38] 依然是很高兴

[00:00:40] 依然是很激动

[00:00:42] 头一个说的是我自己的事儿

[00:00:43] 第二个呢

[00:00:44] 关于唱戏的这个节目

[00:00:46] 对这场呢

[00:00:47] 咱说点儿他的事儿

[00:00:48] A 老爷怎么说我的事儿

[00:00:50] 我能有什么事儿啊

[00:00:51] 有事儿

[00:00:52] 孙越

[00:00:52] 孙老师

[00:00:53] 我还有事儿

[00:00:53] 其实呢

[00:00:54] 他是一个有钱人

[00:00:55] 反正说错啦

[00:00:56] 家大业大

[00:00:58] 什么都有

[00:00:59] 一辆汽车有车呀

[00:01:01] 最值得一提的就是它的汽车

[00:01:03] 车好呗

[00:01:04] 七手的奥拓

[00:01:11] 你等会儿你等会儿我听都新鲜了

[00:01:14] 怎么啦

[00:01:14] 我这区首部曲手

[00:01:15] 我不管您实数吗

[00:01:17] 实数您在比划我瞧瞧

[00:01:25] 这是七啊

[00:01:28] 嗯

[00:01:29] 酒

[00:01:30] 这是酒捏

[00:01:32] 比划的九啊

[00:01:33] 这是青州

[00:01:39] 其实亲爱的啊

[00:01:42] 双手还都有毛病了

[00:01:43] 有一辆七手的奥拓

[00:01:45] 你看这破车

[00:01:46] 车牌照青a 的货

[00:01:52] 清朝的牌子

[00:01:55] 清朝的牌子对

[00:01:57] 哎哟

[00:01:58] 他清a

[00:01:59] 嗯

[00:02:00] 那清朝有汽车

[00:02:01] 皇上八国联军撵着

[00:02:04] 八国联军开的是明a 的

[00:02:08] 哦

[00:02:08] 名额知道a 吗

[00:02:11] 隋朝嘛

[00:02:12] 秦a

[00:02:13] 秦朝女娲a

[00:02:17] 盘古a

[00:02:19] 什么都不懂

[00:02:21] 知道芹蓖麻秦必蒙不了我

[00:02:25] 嗯

[00:02:25] 脑筋急转弯

[00:02:27] 琴帝啊

[00:02:28] 秦始皇书的钱币不对

[00:02:30] 怎么秦始皇那会儿的出租车a

[00:02:37] 老听着都新鲜了

[00:02:39] D ma a 知道群殴吗

[00:02:43] 秦o 啊

[00:02:44] 不知道秦始皇那会儿警车呀

[00:02:47] 哎呀

[00:02:48] 你就别胡说行吗

[00:02:49] 什么都不懂

[00:02:50] 反正胡编了

[00:02:52] 快过年啦

[00:02:53] 唉

[00:02:53] 开着亲手的奥特

[00:02:55] 去年的事儿准备走亲戚呢

[00:02:57] 过年都得走亲戚啊

[00:02:58] 我带着自己的媳妇儿喧然

[00:03:00] 哦

[00:03:01] 跟自己的父母呢

[00:03:03] 说一下

[00:03:08] 我媳妇儿叫轩然是吗

[00:03:11] 对

[00:03:13] 怎么起这么肉的名字

[00:03:16] 你丈母娘起的

[00:03:18] 哦

[00:03:18] 我丈母娘娶的

[00:03:19] 对你丈母娘叫什么呀

[00:03:20] 有容

[00:03:28] 我老丈杆子呢

[00:03:30] 多半没听说什么叫波霸轩辕呐

[00:03:36] 好好的啊

[00:03:36] 他媳妇儿叫轩然

[00:03:38] 带着自己的媳妇轩然跟自己的爹娘告别

[00:03:41] a

[00:03:42] 我死去是怎么着啊

[00:03:44] 什么叫死去

[00:03:45] 什么叫告别

[00:03:46] 说声再见干嘛呀

[00:03:48] 走亲戚啊呢

[00:03:50] 话别着没够啊

[00:03:51] 跟自己爹娘说一声啊

[00:03:53] 说

[00:03:53] 打个招呼上石家庄找自己的后爹去

[00:03:56] 嗯

[00:03:57] 一切都安排妥当没

[00:03:59] 没不妥当

[00:04:01] 我跟我父母睾丸皮

[00:04:02] 嗯

[00:04:03] 我上石家庄

[00:04:05] 嗯

[00:04:05] 看我后爹

[00:04:07] 对

[00:04:07] 那我家里这个算什么呀

[00:04:10] 哎呀

[00:04:10] 我忘了说了

[00:04:11] 咋这么乱呢

[00:04:12] 是这样

[00:04:13] 他的父亲跟她母亲呢

[00:04:14] 结婚的时候玩了一个游戏叫捉迷藏啊

[00:04:18] 这叫什么游戏啊

[00:04:19] 这说没藏

[00:04:20] 哎呀

[00:04:21] 你父亲都藏起来了

[00:04:22] 你母亲找了三天没找着就改嫁了

[00:04:25] a

[00:04:26] 啊

[00:04:26] 我妈就等三天你着了吧

[00:04:28] 不然你这个父亲流落到石家庄家里

[00:04:31] 北京这个是你亲妈和后爹

[00:04:33] 石家庄是你亲爹和后妈

[00:04:36] 老头儿还真乱啊

[00:04:38] 哎呀

[00:04:39] 跟自己的爹娘告别

[00:04:40] 上石家庄找自己的后爹去开着亲手的奥拓

[00:04:45] 哦

[00:04:45] 很高兴啊

[00:04:46] 他还高兴a 一路西去

[00:04:49] 哼

[00:04:51] 那不就死了吗

[00:04:53] 我说死了吗

[00:04:54] 怎么叫西区啊

[00:04:55] 往西走

[00:04:56] 往西行

[00:04:57] 知道吗

[00:04:57] 然后再往南

[00:04:59] A 队后R 角都的京石高速啊

[00:05:01] 对对对

[00:05:02] 石家庄快上高速了

[00:05:03] 嗯

[00:05:04] 得取票

[00:05:06] 知道吗

[00:05:07] 哎呀

[00:05:07] 我这个词汇用的糗票啊

[00:05:10] 我是P 线的呀

[00:05:11] 哎

[00:05:12] 这都你们都先竟遭东西了

[00:05:15] 我看得取票啊取票购票啊

[00:05:18] 知道吗

[00:05:19] 他要取票

[00:05:20] 他媳妇儿说了

[00:05:21] 我媳妇儿老公啊老公老公啊给我打个电话打个电话打个电话

[00:05:29] 我媳妇怎么浪漫劲儿的

[00:05:31] 喂嗯

[00:05:32] 哎吗

[00:05:33] 为什么

[00:05:35] 我要走了

[00:05:37] 我们俩真的回不来了

[00:05:38] 我要走了

[00:05:38] 我要去石家庄看我后街去

[00:05:41] 哎

[00:05:41] 你别说什么

[00:05:43] 你要跟我说一个秘密

[00:05:45] 什么秘密

[00:05:45] 什么秘密

[00:05:47] 你结婚的时候玩了一个捉迷藏

[00:05:49] 哎

[00:05:49] 行了

[00:05:50] 没有啊

[00:05:51] 这个我不听了啊

[00:05:53] 我我不愿意听啊

[00:05:54] 他扯完了票要走

[00:05:56] 嗯

[00:05:57] 他媳妇说等会儿吗

[00:05:58] 还是等我走吧

[00:05:59] 妈

[00:05:59] 我走了啊

[00:06:01] 干嘛

[00:06:01] 等会儿啊

[00:06:02] 走了开着聊客车催呢

[00:06:04] 对等会儿吗

[00:06:06] 我再跟你说两句

[00:06:07] 你开着车聊干什么呀

[00:06:10] 你不知道吗

[00:06:11] 嗯

[00:06:11] 过了收费站算长途

[00:06:12] 你不知道吗

[00:06:13] 嗨

[00:06:15] 过的太细了

[00:06:17] 这也别废话

[00:06:20] 哎呀

[00:06:20] 走吧走吧

[00:06:21] A

[00:06:22] 开车走了

[00:06:23] 往京师上走啊

[00:06:25] 开着开着坏了

[00:06:26] 怎么了

[00:06:26] 出了点儿事儿

[00:06:28] 出什么事儿呢

[00:06:30] 爆冷

[00:06:33] 抱

[00:06:35] 你要死啊

[00:06:37] 我这儿有点儿含糊

[00:06:39] 说包是什么包都不是

[00:06:45] 跟我有什么关系

[00:06:46] 这事儿太棒了

[00:06:48] 爆胎了

[00:06:50] 哎哟

[00:06:51] 爆胎爆胎了

[00:06:53] Kan da

[00:06:54] 爆胎了

[00:06:54] 爆胎爆什么照啊

[00:06:56] 哎

[00:06:56] 宣传啊

[00:06:58] 你去看看是不是报宣传

[00:07:01] 别提这个行

[00:07:03] 请老公我去

[00:07:05] 嗯

[00:07:06] 但是你是不得停车呀

[00:07:08] 嗨

[00:07:11] 两口子缺心眼

[00:07:14] 停完了车宣传下去

[00:07:17] 往左后一看

[00:07:19] 哦

[00:07:19] 这后边大哥

[00:07:20] 嗯

[00:07:21] 那怎么着怎么着

[00:07:22] 真棒啦

[00:07:23] 行啦

[00:07:24] 哎呀

[00:07:26] 这怎么办呢

[00:07:27] 爆胎了

[00:07:27] 开不了了怎么办啊

[00:07:29] 他媳妇儿很聪明

[00:07:30] 我媳妇儿聪明人

[00:07:31] 他媳妇儿抱起轮胎

[00:07:32] 他抬起油门

[00:07:33] 走

[00:07:34] 你等会儿

[00:07:35] 你等会儿没有损不损啊

[00:07:39] 你怎么啦

[00:07:41] 那是汽车啊

[00:07:42] 我媳妇是肉的

[00:07:43] 知道吗

[00:07:44] 啊

[00:07:44] 我这彩铃木头

[00:07:45] 我媳妇儿爆竹跟着跑啊

[00:07:48] 你怕轮毂坏了啊

[00:07:51] 哦

[00:07:51] 把龙骨坏了啊

[00:07:53] 我媳妇儿坏了怎么办

[00:07:54] 他这趵突泉磨没了胳膊

[00:07:56] 一会儿

[00:07:57] 那怎么办

[00:07:58] 你说怎么办啊

[00:08:00] 没有这样的

[00:08:01] 推着吧

[00:08:01] 得推着走

[00:08:02] 没有抱着轮胎

[00:08:03] A 把轮胎放那儿

[00:08:04] 他媳妇儿上车谁推呢

[00:08:08] 这两口子缺心眼儿

[00:08:10] 你媳妇儿媳妇儿推着推吧

[00:08:12] 嗯

[00:08:12] 不好推

[00:08:13] 推到下一个服务区

[00:08:15] 哎哟

[00:08:16] 到那儿一瞧啊

[00:08:17] 买了一个气筒子

[00:08:20] 你等会你等会

[00:08:21] 你等会儿

[00:08:21] 这不缺心眼儿吗

[00:08:22] 这怎么了

[00:08:24] 我这服务区有修车的

[00:08:25] 嗯

[00:08:26] 补个胎不就完了吗

[00:08:27] 修车的放假啦

[00:08:29] 快过年啦

[00:08:30] 哎哟

[00:08:30] 那寸劲儿啊

[00:08:31] 买系统的管什么用啊

[00:08:33] 打开呀

[00:08:37] 你等会儿你等会儿你等会儿

[00:08:42] 什么叫打胎

[00:08:44] 胎爆了你不能打开吗

[00:08:47] 那不能叫打胎

[00:08:48] 你看它叫

[00:08:51] 打胎打胎啊

[00:08:58] 不什么都完了吗

[00:08:59] 就是给胎打气啊

[00:09:01] 对对对

[00:09:01] 您说清楚了啊

[00:09:02] 就就就打开挺好

[00:09:03] 我不我顺嘴啊

[00:09:05] 对了

[00:09:05] 我不行

[00:09:06] 知道吗

[00:09:07] 那我就这么说

[00:09:08] 你把我怎么着

[00:09:11] 他不能把你怎么着就打胎气

[00:09:13] He

[00:09:14] 打胎气

[00:09:15] 哎呀

[00:09:15] 打胎您行了

[00:09:17] 您稳住了

[00:09:17] 不好打啊

[00:09:18] 朋友们

[00:09:19] 这个胎爆了啊

[00:09:21] 跟那个渣了是有区别的

[00:09:23] 对

[00:09:23] 报了窟窿眼儿大

[00:09:25] 它炸开了啊

[00:09:26] 不好打

[00:09:27] 哎呀妈

[00:09:28] 废话

[00:09:29] 打得进去吗

[00:09:29] 哎呀哎呀

[00:09:32] 这还够费劲的哈

[00:09:34] 打40 分钟啊

[00:09:36] 开五分钟或打什么啊

[00:09:40] 那个蒙打啊打打40 分钟

[00:09:43] 赶紧上车走

[00:09:44] 踩油门走走走了65 分钟

[00:09:48] 全然

[00:09:49] 是不是没气了

[00:09:51] 还用问呢

[00:09:52] 老公

[00:09:53] 老公

[00:09:54] 那我去看看吧

[00:09:55] 好吧

[00:09:56] 我媳妇有毛病

[00:09:57] 好

[00:09:57] 你看来看看来看看

[00:10:00] 哎

[00:10:00] 你等会儿

[00:10:01] 你等会儿

[00:10:02] 你等会儿这边儿开

[00:10:03] 我干嘛让她看啊

[00:10:05] 他又不下车

[00:10:06] 我这么开着

[00:10:06] 回头看一眼不就完了吗

[00:10:08] 你非得趴在我身上干嘛呀

[00:10:10] 你看不见那废话

[00:10:11] 他挡着我是看不见

[00:10:12] 你看不见肥肉

[00:10:14] 回头看看就完了

[00:10:16] 他媳妇一瞧

[00:10:17] 大哥真没戏了

[00:10:19] 哎

[00:10:19] 这逗闷子呢

[00:10:21] 俩人接着打吧

[00:10:23] 哎哟

[00:10:26] 达50 分钟能开四分钟都减半了

[00:10:30] 越来越大

[00:10:31] 那样的废话越打越大可好家伙

[00:10:34] 简短截说

[00:10:36] 第二天晚上到了保定

[00:10:40] 第二天晚上啊

[00:10:41] 哎呀

[00:10:42] 到了保定了

[00:10:43] 哎呀

[00:10:44] 这打得他媳妇都不行了

[00:10:48] 你要老这么打他是受不了

[00:10:50] 嗯

[00:10:51] 一直处于打开的状态

[00:10:56] 他媳妇还真好身体

[00:10:57] 嗯

[00:10:58] 他媳妇儿步行了

[00:10:59] 是步行了

[00:11:00] 哎呀

[00:11:06] 还有后劲

[00:11:08] 累得快死了

[00:11:09] 哎呀

[00:11:09] 喊他去了

[00:11:10] 嗯

[00:11:11] 老公

[00:11:13] 老公

[00:11:15] 你去躺会儿吧

[00:11:18] 我都快死了

[00:11:18] 对对对

[00:11:19] 都黑了

[00:11:20] 都大的

[00:11:20] 你看看灯都黑了

[00:11:22] 行

[00:11:23] 我去打会好吃吧

[00:11:24] 嗯

[00:11:24] 你坐坐着

[00:11:25] 嗯

[00:11:25] 那什么

[00:11:27] 气管子在哪儿呢

[00:11:28] 啊

[00:11:28] 气筒子呢

[00:11:29] 就在后边呢

[00:11:30] 后边后边哪啊咋就那个红棍就是哦红棍

[00:11:36] 对

[00:11:37] 怎么红棍儿都打红了

[00:11:43] 难为我媳妇儿

[00:11:44] 我告诉你

[00:11:45] 哎呀

[00:11:48] 快死了

[00:11:48] 那废话都烫手了

[00:11:50] 到了保定服务区了

[00:11:53] 他很聪明

[00:11:54] 有什么聪明想出一个好主意

[00:11:56] 什么主意啊

[00:11:57] 叫快递

[00:11:58] 哦对

[00:12:01] 我这是聪明了

[00:12:02] 嗯

[00:12:02] 这不马后炮吗

[00:12:05] 之前我干什么来着呢

[00:12:07] 我哪知道啊

[00:12:08] 唉

[00:12:08] 这有理呢

[00:12:10] 叫快递啊

[00:12:12] 别说

[00:12:12] 快递还挺快

[00:12:13] 废话

[00:12:14] 快递五分钟就来了

[00:12:18] 五分钟就来了哈

[00:12:20] 我可能高速过了一夜了

[00:12:21] 知道吗

[00:12:22] 说这送了一个轮胎

[00:12:26] 清

[00:12:30] 这送快递也够贫的啊

[00:12:33] 这只贪是您的吗

[00:12:34] 他这胎

[00:12:35] 哎呀啊

[00:12:36] 亲

[00:12:39] 是我的亲

[00:12:42] 谢谢

[00:12:42] 我来给您换上吧

[00:12:43] 亲一下得了

[00:12:47] 好吧

[00:12:49] 好的

[00:12:49] 亲

[00:12:50] 好的

[00:12:50] 不说亲

[00:12:51] 不会说话的

[00:12:52] 三分钟换好了

[00:12:53] 哎

[00:12:53] 对对

[00:12:54] 我走一宿

[00:12:55] 我这换好了胎

[00:12:57] 快递问他了

[00:12:58] 问什么呀

[00:12:59] 亲

[00:12:59] 嗯

[00:12:59] 我能问你一个问题吗

[00:13:01] 能问吗

[00:13:01] 您这个车有备胎吗

[00:13:04] 废什么话呀

[00:13:05] 当然有了

[00:13:07] 啊

[00:13:15] 算我没说啊

[00:13:17] 这不缺心眼儿骂

[00:13:21] 亲

[00:13:22] 请您交钱吧

[00:13:24] 这个太浅

[00:13:25] 嗯嗯

[00:13:27] 一千六怎么这么贵呀

[00:13:29] 一说一千六

[00:13:30] 他媳妇快疯了

[00:13:31] 我媳妇儿听不到这个什么什么什么什么

[00:13:35] 嘴封了一千六啊

[00:13:38] 我打胎用的了一千六吗

[00:13:41] 我打胎打了一天一宿了

[00:13:44] 给我好好说话行不行

[00:13:46] 胎气都快打没了

[00:13:49] 打破胎啊

[00:13:50] 你收我一千六

[00:13:52] 哎呀

[00:13:52] 你疯了吗

[00:13:53] 你没有你媳妇

[00:13:57] 哎

[00:13:57] 死这样

[00:13:58] 我告诉你啊

[00:14:03] 这位女亲

[00:14:10] 你要亲我

[00:14:11] 今儿我抽你我告诉你

[00:14:13] 这位女亲啊

[00:14:14] 我是一个快递哦

[00:14:16] 我也不容易啊

[00:14:17] 上面明码标价一千六

[00:14:20] 请您付钱的

[00:14:20] 亲够吧

[00:14:23] 没有

[00:14:25] 您别这样行吗

[00:14:27] 这样不是办法呀

[00:14:28] 对呀

[00:14:29] 最后他媳妇说了

[00:14:30] 嗯

[00:14:30] 我出一个主意

[00:14:31] 我给你钱行啊

[00:14:32] 但是你得有设备

[00:14:34] 我能刷卡吗

[00:14:36] H 高了

[00:14:38] 高速上朋友们哪能穿卡

[00:14:40] 是不是没现金

[00:14:41] 亲啊

[00:14:42] 可以哦啊

[00:14:45] 或者有POS机啊

[00:14:46] 随身带着呢

[00:14:51] 哎

[00:14:51] 没办法

[00:14:52] 朋友不打算给钱

[00:14:53] 那得给人刷

[00:14:54] 得给人刷钱吗

[00:14:55] A 1600嗯人家这个快递呢

[00:14:58] 骑自行车要走

[00:14:59] 骑自行车要走

[00:15:00] 哎呀哈

[00:15:03] 媳妇儿

[00:15:03] 比火车快

[00:15:04] 我告诉你后

[00:15:05] 两口子越想越生气

[00:15:07] 越想越难受啊

[00:15:08] 管不着人家

[00:15:09] 哎呀

[00:15:10] 不行

[00:15:11] 老公怎么撞死他

[00:15:13] 这

[00:15:16] 这不教坏吗

[00:15:17] 撞死他这话气我怎么行呢

[00:15:21] 啊

[00:15:22] 引起了我宣言

[00:15:24] 知道吗

[00:15:24] 哎

[00:15:25] 对

[00:15:26] 快出事儿了

[00:15:27] 撞死他

[00:15:28] 哎呀

[00:15:29] 哼

[00:15:29] 媳妇儿

[00:15:29] 你说的更别就应该撞死他

[00:15:31] 没有这么说

[00:15:32] 我撞死你

[00:15:33] 撞死你

[00:15:34] 哎呀

[00:15:34] 朋友们心里是这么想

[00:15:36] 哎

[00:15:36] 不能这么办

[00:15:37] 真撞上了

[00:15:40] 把人撞了

[00:15:41] 当撞上了

[00:15:42] 哎哟

[00:15:43] 快递车那儿保持着骑车的姿势

[00:15:48] 就那车没了

[00:15:50] 车没了

[00:15:50] 快递这回好

[00:15:57] 就剩了

[00:15:58] 嗯

[00:15:59] 定在那儿了

[00:16:00] 在那儿

[00:16:01] 傻啦

[00:16:02] 废话

[00:16:02] 撞着了

[00:16:03] 分钟以后啪叽躺那儿了

[00:16:05] 正好死缓

[00:16:06] 晕菜了

[00:16:07] 晕菜啊e 晕他媳妇说呀

[00:16:12] 老公啊

[00:16:12] 这个亲怎么办呢

[00:16:14] 别学人家啦

[00:16:16] 这个亲怎么办

[00:16:17] 你们撞了你说怎么办

[00:16:18] 正说着呢

[00:16:19] 打那边过来一辆警车

[00:16:21] 来警察了

[00:16:22] 怎么这么困呢

[00:16:23] 多么的棘手

[00:16:24] 朋友们怎么办

[00:16:26] 这条你怎么拍的

[00:16:27] 他很聪明

[00:16:28] 我聪明

[00:16:28] 把快递顺道自己的车底下

[00:16:32] 上半身在车底下

[00:16:34] 嗯

[00:16:34] 腿上

[00:16:34] 外头

[00:16:35] 那管什么用啊

[00:16:36] 刚弄好

[00:16:37] 警车过来了

[00:16:38] 下来这个警察从这这怎么回事儿

[00:16:41] 怎么回事儿

[00:16:42] 修车呢

[00:16:45] 高了

[00:16:45] 这招修车呢

[00:16:47] 嗯

[00:16:48] 修车怎么趴那儿呢

[00:16:57] 角初夏

[00:17:01] 啊哈哈

[00:17:03] 那个什么他媳妇儿过来了

[00:17:05] 从这从这

[00:17:06] 他看看漏不漏油

[00:17:07] 漏油漏油往地上干什么呀

[00:17:10] 没事儿

[00:17:10] 没事儿等您

[00:17:11] 等您呢

[00:17:11] 哎呀

[00:17:12] 好好

[00:17:13] 那修车就没事儿

[00:17:14] 呃

[00:17:15] 这个同学好糊弄啊

[00:17:16] 我问问您从这儿到石家庄需要多长时间呢

[00:17:20] 比如说问道

[00:17:21] 啊

[00:17:23] 那得看什么车

[00:17:27] 这话对

[00:17:27] 像您这个可能40 分钟就到了

[00:17:30] 哎

[00:17:30] 我这个可能还得几天度蜜月来了

[00:17:35] 说不好说不好

[00:17:36] 没有啊

[00:17:37] 好

[00:17:37] 谢谢同志

[00:17:38] 再见

[00:17:39] 警察走了

[00:17:40] 我还正好糊弄他媳妇儿

[00:17:42] 把这块地钻出来扔掉了

[00:17:45] 我都不管人家啦

[00:17:47] 我媳妇儿的万恶的开车往前走

[00:17:49] 哎

[00:17:50] 很高兴啦

[00:17:51] 这还高兴啊

[00:17:52] 不用打胎了

[00:17:54] 这倒是不用受那个罪了

[00:17:55] 哎呀

[00:17:56] 他媳妇说了

[00:17:56] 嗯

[00:17:57] 老公

[00:17:58] 老公

[00:17:58] 老公老公

[00:18:00] 听会音乐吧

[00:18:01] 老公

[00:18:02] 哦

[00:18:02] 还

[00:18:02] 还够I 好

[00:18:03] 你想听什么歌呢

[00:18:04] 嗯嗯

[00:18:06] 因为爱情吧

[00:18:07] 嗯

[00:18:08] 好的

[00:18:08] 老公

[00:18:09] 因为爱情不会轻易悲伤

[00:18:15] 所以一切都是幸福的爱情

[00:18:24] 等会儿

[00:18:25] 简单的长征

[00:18:27] 听音乐不是车上放的那个

[00:18:32] 对呀

[00:18:34] 因为我觉着自己唱啊对呀

[00:18:38] 清朝的车哪有音乐啊

[00:18:43] 哎呀

[00:18:44] 我媳妇还是爱劳动

[00:18:45] 自己主动问他

[00:18:46] 还得摁在那桃花盛开的地方

[00:18:49] 好在那桃花盛开的地方还真多

[00:19:01] 老公老公老公老公

[00:19:03] 咱俩一会儿我还有老公一句

[00:19:07] 我媳妇儿说的

[00:19:09] 这句是我说的

[00:19:11] 老公

[00:19:12] 嗯

[00:19:12] 你说是阿童木快呢还是超人快呢

[00:19:18] 就是开车

[00:19:18] 没准闲聊我觉得吧

[00:19:21] 嗯

[00:19:22] 超人快

[00:19:23] 为什么

[00:19:24] 因为超人裤衩在外头是吗

[00:19:27] 没有这个话

[00:19:27] 超人快

[00:19:28] 老公

[00:19:29] 我觉得阿童木快

[00:19:30] 为什么

[00:19:30] 因为阿童木是一个胳膊一个胳膊啊一个胳膊哦

[00:19:36] 丰足小嗯er

[00:19:37] 超人呢

[00:19:38] 俩胳膊哦

[00:19:40] 主力是吗

[00:19:41] 嗯

[00:19:42] 阿东木块

[00:19:44] 超人超人

[00:19:46] 阿童木快点儿

[00:19:47] 奔放的超人快

[00:19:50] 阿童木

[00:19:50] 快啊啊啊

[00:19:58] 怎么了

[00:20:00] 撞树上了

[00:20:02] 也是我双手嘎巴了吗

[00:20:04] 我30 0 A撞树上了啊

[00:20:09] 好家伙呢

[00:20:11] 棒

[00:20:13] 掉沟里了

[00:20:14] 数还剩

[00:20:15] 接着把它塞沟里了啊

[00:20:17] 掉沟里了半天

[00:20:19] 他媳妇才醒来

[00:20:20] 哎呀

[00:20:22] 诶

[00:20:23] 保持这姿势呢

[00:20:25] 老公

[00:20:26] 哎呀老公

[00:20:27] 你活着吗

[00:20:29] 还有这心思

[00:20:30] 我活着呢

[00:20:32] 活着呢

[00:20:32] 一点儿都不冤呢

[00:20:33] 俩人

[00:20:36] 老公

[00:20:37] 我说儿童木块吧

[00:20:40] 我在你头对你在我头上飞出去的是吧

[00:20:46] 俩人飞出去了

[00:20:47] 哎呀

[00:20:48] 行了行了

[00:20:48] 从哪儿飞出去的呢

[00:20:50] 挡风玻璃那儿

[00:20:51] 从前边儿撞出去了啊

[00:20:53] 哎呀

[00:20:53] 这么快

[00:20:56] 哎呀

[00:20:56] 两口子站起来

[00:20:58] 粘锅哩

[00:21:01] 哎呀

[00:21:03] 人还挺稳重

[00:21:04] 你看还互相改呢

[00:21:08] 相亲相爱吗

[00:21:09] 哎

[00:21:09] 没有

[00:21:10] 你不比划

[00:21:11] 这不好

[00:21:12] 你们再看这两口子血滋滋滋摘了半天

[00:21:18] 总算没事了

[00:21:19] 把车抬到高速上

[00:21:23] 我这车俩人还在高速上呢

[00:21:26] 难怪亲手的奥拓

[00:21:28] 对对

[00:21:29] 别整掉们朋友们

[00:21:31] 挡风玻璃可是没了

[00:21:32] 废话

[00:21:33] 什么都没了

[00:21:33] 前面

[00:21:34] 哎呀

[00:21:35] 这怎么办呢怎么办

[00:21:36] 他想出了一个好主意

[00:21:38] 我聪明

[00:21:39] 愣开

[00:21:42] 这叫什么主意

[00:21:43] 这叫愣开愣开

[00:21:46] 开了没有十分钟

[00:21:48] 嗯

[00:21:48] 宣传说了

[00:21:50] 我媳妇儿老公

[00:21:50] 老公啊老公

[00:21:52] 那什么是因为我们有护心毛的原因吗

[00:21:57] 什么意思

[00:21:58] 我冷

[00:22:03] 啊

[00:22:05] 谁那样都冷

[00:22:07] 知道吗

[00:22:08] 你废什么话呀

[00:22:09] 哎呀

[00:22:11] 我有金毛我也冷

[00:22:13] 谁问你有没有大冬天没有挡风玻璃

[00:22:18] 你受得了吗

[00:22:19] 这不是你让开的吗

[00:22:20] 这个老公

[00:22:23] 我可能得死在高速上

[00:22:26] 我冲你拉通

[00:22:27] 我得死高速上

[00:22:29] 老公

[00:22:29] 那什么

[00:22:30] 嗯

[00:22:31] 等我死了怎么着

[00:22:33] 你在临床上

[00:22:35] 给我放一首歌行吗

[00:22:37] 哦

[00:22:37] 还有这个女主来放一首歌啊

[00:22:40] 什么医院什么歌什么歌

[00:22:43] 何日君再来

[00:22:46] 这不招我去呢吗

[00:22:49] 疯了

[00:22:50] 何日君再来

[00:22:51] 我可能也得死这儿

[00:22:52] 哎

[00:22:52] 我怎么了我啊

[00:22:53] 我要是死了

[00:22:55] 你在平台上给我放一首歌吧

[00:22:56] 啊

[00:22:56] 我要什么歌

[00:22:57] 嗯

[00:22:58] 把悲伤留给自己

[00:23:00] 咱多高尚

[00:23:01] 对我老公

[00:23:03] 老公

[00:23:03] 你太缺德了

[00:23:05] 怎么了

[00:23:05] 你听歌词啊

[00:23:07] 什么歌词

[00:23:08] 能不能让我陪着你走

[00:23:16] 还是让我跟你走啊

[00:23:18] 我这还是爱你

[00:23:19] 老公

[00:23:19] 你太缺德了

[00:23:20] 不过老公

[00:23:21] 我一再I 走走

[00:23:24] 您这套又出去了

[00:23:25] 知道吗

[00:23:26] 俩人都快成冰棍了

[00:23:28] 还调情呢

[00:23:30] 这是调情吗

[00:23:31] 这

[00:23:31] 哎呀

[00:23:32] 越开越冷

[00:23:33] 越开越冷

[00:23:34] 挡风玻璃没有啊

[00:23:35] 对啊

[00:23:35] 这怎么办怎么办

[00:23:36] 他想

[00:23:37] 主意主意

[00:23:37] 什么主意

[00:23:38] 咱们后边不是有快递的那个箱子嘛

[00:23:41] 送轮胎

[00:23:41] 轮胎那箱子咱给挡这儿不就完了吗

[00:23:46] 老公

[00:23:47] 我太爱你了

[00:23:48] 别爱我

[00:23:48] 你别爱我了

[00:23:50] 可以呀

[00:23:51] 那箱子挡着什么都看不见了

[00:23:54] 说的是那还美呢

[00:23:55] 黑都弄好了

[00:23:57] 把箱子都弄好

[00:23:58] 往那一贴

[00:23:59] 待不住啊

[00:24:00] 废话

[00:24:01] 怎么办

[00:24:02] 他站在车上

[00:24:02] 头尿了泡尿

[00:24:05] 没有三分钟冻上了好了

[00:24:08] 哎

[00:24:09] 这也是娇惯

[00:24:10] 吹不下去了

[00:24:11] 对那尿动力管什么用啊a

[00:24:13] 可是朋友们看不见路啊

[00:24:15] 废话你才知道啊

[00:24:16] 怎么办

[00:24:18] 她凭记忆开车啊

[00:24:24] 哦

[00:24:24] 我原来认识的

[00:24:25] 倒不是那什么叫凭记忆

[00:24:28] 把脑袋探出去看一眼

[00:24:30] 能开三秒钟

[00:24:36] 哎呀

[00:24:36] 开三秒钟a 好

[00:24:39] 哎

[00:24:40] 这别使劲儿了

[00:24:43] 哎呀

[00:24:44] 朋友们

[00:24:44] 嗯

[00:24:45] 就这样

[00:24:46] 堵车了

[00:24:49] 得亏是堵车了

[00:24:50] 堵车了走下去我就死路上

[00:24:53] 哎呀

[00:24:53] 这怎么这些车呢

[00:24:54] 怎么还堵车了呢

[00:24:56] 下车一打听

[00:24:57] 原来呀

[00:24:58] 呃

[00:24:58] 一辆拉猪的车翻了

[00:25:01] 哎哟

[00:25:02] 出事了

[00:25:02] 哎呀

[00:25:03] 满高度的猪啊

[00:25:04] 朋友们

[00:25:05] 好多热闹全都是猪啊

[00:25:08] 哎呀

[00:25:08] 好多个警察在高速上跟他捋

[00:25:12] 警察都乐了

[00:25:13] 他太高兴了

[00:25:14] 我

[00:25:14] 我高兴什么呀

[00:25:16] 哎呀

[00:25:19] 我怎么

[00:25:19] 我怎么了

[00:25:20] 我亲人呢

[00:25:23] 没听说过

[00:25:25] 悬崖

[00:25:26] 你等着干嘛

[00:25:27] 我一会给你一个惊喜

[00:25:28] 什么惊喜

[00:25:29] 他下车去逮猪去了

[00:25:33] 一个猪自己拿走

[00:25:34] A 飞了一只猪

[00:25:35] 我怀着兴奋过来

[00:25:37] 车门拉开

[00:25:39] 放在驾驶员那里

[00:25:42] 把朱塞在那儿了

[00:25:43] 朱俩前爪搭在方向盘上在看

[00:25:48] 轩然啊

[00:25:48] 眼神儿也不老好使的

[00:25:50] 怎么呢

[00:25:51] 老公

[00:25:51] 你回来了

[00:25:51] 老公

[00:25:54] 您调清楚了行吗

[00:25:56] 老公

[00:25:57] 你回来怎么不说一声呢

[00:25:58] 老公

[00:25:59] 怎么也不说话了呢

[00:26:01] 没有

[00:26:01] 老公

[00:26:01] 你听歌吗

[00:26:02] 老公

[00:26:02] 我听着啊

[00:26:03] 因为爱情

[00:26:04] 别人家老公臭缺德多冷啊

[00:26:07] 怎么把衣服脱了

[00:26:08] 老公

[00:26:08] 行啦

[00:26:11] 你这什么眼神啊

[00:26:13] 这是怎么被删也没有了

[00:26:14] 老公

[00:26:15] 摸一摸

[00:26:16] 毛啦

[00:26:17] 动啦

[00:26:20] 那是我们那个冻死你臭咖啡的穿上衣服啊

[00:26:23] 老公

[00:26:24] 哎呀

[00:26:24] 老公

[00:26:25] 你穿上衣服啊老公

[00:26:26] 就把衣服脱了呢

[00:26:27] 老公

[00:26:34] 有这个娘们儿

[00:26:35] 我活着不死的

[00:26:36] 路上这把衣服穿了穿

[00:26:40] 你还哼哼什么呀

[00:26:41] 啊啊

[00:26:45] 瞧清楚了

[00:26:47] 我都问你半天

[00:26:48] 一句话也不跟人家说呀

[00:26:49] 这话说得了她老公

[00:26:51] 行了

[00:26:52] 别叫老公了

[00:26:53] 再看他啊

[00:26:54] 又带一只猪

[00:26:56] 我还真能待待吧

[00:26:58] 嗯

[00:26:58] 正带着讷警察过来了

[00:26:59] 嗯

[00:27:00] 一把给他摁住了

[00:27:01] 嗯

[00:27:01] 野猪也行

[00:27:02] 哎

[00:27:08] 没听说过你们家猪穿着衣裳呢

[00:27:11] 别废话

[00:27:13] 我是人

[00:27:13] 哎呀

[00:27:14] 我是人

[00:27:15] 对警察说了

[00:27:16] 怎么证明你是人呢

[00:27:19] 这不混蛋嘛

[00:27:20] 我都说话了

[00:27:21] 还怎么证明啊

[00:27:23] 我会说话啊

[00:27:26] 八戒吧

[00:27:28] 没听说过会不会聊天啊

[00:27:31] 怎么证明你是人啊

[00:27:33] 跟我来干嘛

[00:27:34] 跟我来我还得证明一下

[00:27:35] a

[00:27:36] 上车呢

[00:27:36] 嗯

[00:27:37] 刚要开门看她媳妇

[00:27:38] 老公

[00:27:38] 你说话呀

[00:27:39] 老公这个娘们儿

[00:27:42] 什么把衣服脱了

[00:27:43] 老公这么冷啊

[00:27:44] 这不是我开门

[00:27:47] 警察

[00:27:48] 嗯

[00:27:49] 扫描扫描

[00:27:50] 怎么

[00:27:51] 警察

[00:27:51] 过来瞧瞧

[00:27:52] 怎么回事啊

[00:27:54] 怎么

[00:27:54] 这怎么回事儿啊

[00:27:56] 这是我儿子呀

[00:27:57] 你玩儿去呢

[00:27:58] 不还是猪吗

[00:27:59] 那个他很生气

[00:28:01] 废话

[00:28:01] 能不生气吗

[00:28:02] 虽然我在这儿呢

[00:28:06] 哎

[00:28:06] 小娘们这个眼神啊

[00:28:08] 老公是你吗

[00:28:11] 你是谁

[00:28:13] 幸亏没有跟你睡觉

[00:28:15] 讨厌

[00:28:17] 哎呀这娘们儿

[00:28:20] 他把猪放到后边

[00:28:22] 哎呀

[00:28:23] 开车要走

[00:28:25] 警察就把我们放过了

[00:28:26] 放过拿我们当一家三口啦

[00:28:28] 哈哈

[00:28:29] 很开心呐

[00:28:30] 还开心呢

[00:28:31] 我嗨呀

[00:28:32] 你甭high 了

[00:28:33] 我high 这会儿呢

[00:28:35] 也通了哦

[00:28:36] 路通了

[00:28:37] 高速也通了

[00:28:38] AA 拉猪的车也走了

[00:28:40] 哎哟

[00:28:41] 朋友们怎么坏了

[00:28:43] 王了一只猪

[00:28:46] 不在我车上了吗

[00:28:47] 角逐

[00:28:49] 瘸子王了

[00:28:50] 一只瘸着腿瘸了

[00:28:51] 嗯

[00:28:52] 哎哟

[00:28:53] 左后没有了

[00:28:55] 哦

[00:28:55] 这是我那车子不是就是猪啊

[00:29:01] 猪

[00:29:01] 对

[00:29:01] 左后全三条腿的猪

[00:29:04] 好家伙

[00:29:04] 左后没了

[00:29:05] 警察都没招够笨的

[00:29:07] 而且呢

[00:29:09] 右前不怎么好使

[00:29:14] 这猪跑的挺快啊

[00:29:23] 这猪啊

[00:29:25] 你看猪就两根棍好看吧

[00:29:29] 就这样

[00:29:30] 我给你学学啊

[00:29:31] 你别学了

[00:29:32] 这个没有

[00:29:33] 这个也不能使

[00:29:37] 还不如猪好看呢

[00:29:38] 跑的挺快

[00:29:39] 哎呀

[00:29:40] 他一瞧高兴了是吗

[00:29:41] 宣然看见没有

[00:29:42] 怎么样

[00:29:43] 缺猪逃出来

[00:29:45] 老公老公

[00:29:45] 嗯

[00:29:46] 带他带带他

[00:29:47] 嗯

[00:29:48] 带他以后啊呃

[00:29:50] 送礼送它送礼

[00:29:51] 四条腿儿啊

[00:29:53] 给你亲爹后妈一个

[00:29:55] 后妈亲爹一个

[00:29:55] 怎么样

[00:29:56] 都是四条腿

[00:29:58] 就三条腿儿

[00:29:59] 哎

[00:29:59] 那你说怎么办

[00:30:01] 那也得追呀

[00:30:02] 噢

[00:30:03] 你看油门啊

[00:30:05] 这个猪啊

[00:30:09] 哎呀

[00:30:10] 多热闹

[00:30:11] 朋友们啊

[00:30:12] 追了仨钟头没追上我的车还不如一只猪呢

[00:30:19] 关键是你得凭记忆开车啊

[00:30:23] 哎

[00:30:23] 对对对对对

[00:30:26] 减肥了

[00:30:27] 这株拐弯儿我还撞下来

[00:30:29] 那可不嘛

[00:30:30] 哎呀

[00:30:31] 简短截说

[00:30:32] 嗯

[00:30:33] 第三天下午

[00:30:35] 哇好

[00:30:37] 总算是到了石家庄

[00:30:39] 它不易啊

[00:30:40] 到石家庄得那个胶条胶条胶条

[00:30:44] 娇娇过去

[00:30:45] 售票员拿着笤

[00:30:56] 这位同志啊

[00:30:58] 我能冒昧的问一句吗

[00:31:01] 您甭客气了

[00:31:02] 你说吧

[00:31:03] 哎

[00:31:04] 你说说没关系

[00:31:08] 您是从北京来的对吧

[00:31:11] 对啊对啊对啊对啊

[00:31:13] 要到石家庄对不对啊

[00:31:17] 从北京到石家庄两个小时的车程

[00:31:22] 您怎么走了三天半呢

[00:31:25] 他哪知道我路上多忙啊

[00:31:28] 您在高速上都干什么辣啊

[00:31:31] 哎呀

[00:31:32] 这会儿他媳妇说了

[00:31:33] 老公老公你走开

[00:31:34] 我跟他说啊

[00:31:35] 你跟我们在高速上

[00:31:38] 我们

[00:31:39] 嗯

[00:31:39] 打胎好好说行吗

[00:31:42] 嗯

[00:31:43] 打胎气啊

[00:31:44] 这叫快递

[00:31:47] 嗯

[00:31:47] 对

[00:31:47] 快递

[00:31:49] 这就别说了

[00:31:50] 嗯

[00:31:51] 唱歌

[00:31:51] 哎对对对

[00:31:52] 逮猪逮缺株

[00:31:56] 点图木耳啊

[00:31:58] 喝

[00:31:59] 没羞没躁这个地儿啊

[00:32:03] 修挡风玻璃等等等等

[00:32:07] 可开心可开心啦

[00:32:10] 哎呀

[00:32:13] 好吧

[00:32:13] 算我多嘴啊

[00:32:15] 能听明白

[00:32:15] 我都那个

[00:32:16] 我告诉你

[00:32:16] 交钱走人

[00:32:17] 哎呀

[00:32:18] 交完了钱走人吧

[00:32:20] 哎呀

[00:32:20] 总算是到石家庄了

[00:32:22] 这可到了

[00:32:23] 太开心了

[00:32:24] 是啊

[00:32:24] 猛踩油门

[00:32:25] 走吧

[00:32:26] 找你

[00:32:27] 嗯嗯

[00:32:29] 朋友们啊

[00:32:30] 这车是越开越快

[00:32:32] 越开越快

[00:32:33] 哎哟

[00:32:33] 都不凭记忆开车拉货

[00:32:35] 猛往前蹿

[00:32:36] 愣开

[00:32:37] 哎呀

[00:32:37] 越开越快越快

[00:32:38] 坏了

[00:32:39] 怎么了

[00:32:39] 当队进了一个农家院

[00:32:43] 开进去了啊

[00:32:45] 媳妇蹭

[00:32:46] 从挡风这个纸壳儿呢就出去了啊

[00:32:48] 这真不好说

[00:32:51] 从挡风只哥们儿砰就出去了

[00:32:54] 挡风只隔尿那出去整落在一个猪圈里啊

[00:32:58] 他媳妇半天才爬起来是吗

[00:33:00] 爬起来以后揪住一个猪的脖领子

[00:33:02] 啪啪大梯子就过去了

[00:33:04] 干嘛呀

[00:33:04] 孙子又把衣服脱了