《The Ballad Of Billy Kershaw》歌词

[00:00:00] The Ballad Of Billy Kershaw - Jake Thackray

[00:00:06] He was small and baggy-trousered

[00:00:08] He was nondescript and shy

[00:00:10] But in his breast there burned a sacred flame

[00:00:13] For women melted and surrendered

[00:00:14] When they looked into his eyes

[00:00:17] Little Billy Kershaw was the name by the way

[00:00:20] He worked as a country ploughman so they say

[00:00:22] Oh Lothario and Casanova mighty Don Juan

[00:00:26] Those legendary goats of days of yore

[00:00:29] Billy was better with his eyes closed

[00:00:31] On one leg and with no hands

[00:00:33] A trick which he could actually perform

[00:00:35] By the way

[00:00:36] Spectacular but dodgy so they say

[00:00:39] He never did it for the profit of it

[00:00:41] Never for applause

[00:00:42] Only the silvery laughter that it caused

[00:00:52] There was a difference in that Billy

[00:00:53] Kershaw never picked the best

[00:00:55] The beautiful the golden ones

[00:00:57] That most men would

[00:00:58] But the ugly ones the poorest

[00:01:00] The despised the dispossessed

[00:01:02] Where else would a hunchback

[00:01:03] Get a cuddle by the way

[00:01:05] Harelips can kiss or so they say

[00:01:08] And so the shop-girl with the whiskers

[00:01:10] Or the limping shepherdess

[00:01:12] The squinting barmaid her with the pocky skin

[00:01:15] Even the horse-like countess with

[00:01:16] The teeth and meagre breasts

[00:01:18] Which in fact had often harboured

[00:01:19] Billy's chin by the way

[00:01:21] Haughty but snug so they say

[00:01:24] He never did it for the profit of it

[00:01:26] Never for applause

[00:01:28] Only the common comfort that it caused

[00:01:38] Many a poor distracted Catholic

[00:01:39] Rating Billy over Lourdes

[00:01:41] Came smiling down his staircase

[00:01:42] All her frenzy gone

[00:01:44] And the husband far from angry

[00:01:46] Would be chuffed that she was cured

[00:01:47] And buy him a pint in the local later on

[00:01:50] By the way

[00:01:51] Horses for courses as they say

[00:01:54] He responded to the colonel's

[00:01:55] Widow's desperate appeal

[00:01:57] In the Colonel's house upon the Colonel's tiger skin

[00:02:00] And in the potter's shop the potter's

[00:02:02] Wife upon the potter's wheel

[00:02:03] Which was steadily continuing to spin

[00:02:06] By the way

[00:02:07] A right tour de force so they say

[00:02:10] But never ever for the profit of it

[00:02:12] Never the applause

[00:02:13] Only the passing happiness it caused

[00:02:23] But soon the news of Billy Kershaw and

[00:02:24] His life-enhancing powers

[00:02:26] Became across the county widely known

[00:02:29] And by his cottage gate the coachloads

[00:02:31] Waited patiently for hours

[00:02:33] The drivers made a bundle going home

[00:02:35] By the way

[00:02:36] Their caps were full of silver so they say

[00:02:39] And the village did a roaring trade in

[00:02:41] Teas and souvenirs

[00:02:42] In ash trays and the local watercress

[00:02:45] Until Billy disillusioned simply ups

[00:02:48] And disappears

[00:02:49] Leaving no forwarding address by the way

[00:02:52] Could be anywhere at all or so they say

[00:02:55] But it was not for the profit of it

[00:02:57] Not for the applause

[00:02:58] Only the consolation that it caused

[00:03:08] If there should be a sad neglected

[00:03:10] Wretched woman in your life

[00:03:11] It could well be that Billy's near at hand

[00:03:14] Perhaps your auntie or your daughter

[00:03:16] Or your mother or your wife

[00:03:18] And when did you last see your grandma

[00:03:20] By the way

[00:03:21] No genuine case is ever turned away

[00:03:24] He's no rascal he's no charlatan

[00:03:26] No mountebank no snob

[00:03:28] Whoever you are he'll treat you just the same

[00:03:31] He is small and baggy-trousered

[00:03:32] And he does a tidy job

[00:03:34] Little Billy Kershaw is the name by the way

[00:03:37] He worked as a country ploughman so they say

[00:03:40] But never ever for the profit of it

[00:03:42] Never the applause

[00:03:44] Only the common comfort that it caused

[00:03:53] If you find that Billy's ballad is extravagant or trite

[00:03:57] Offensive irrelevant or untrue

[00:04:00] That may well be but here's a moral

[00:04:01] Which will make us feel all right

[00:04:03] A moral which may well apply to you

[00:04:05] By the way

[00:04:07] Takes one to know one as they say

[00:04:09] If you're ugly if you're weak or meek

[00:04:11] Or queer form a queue

[00:04:13] And the rest of us will travel from afar

[00:04:16] And systematically we'll do to you

[00:04:17] What Billy used to do

[00:04:19] But more regular and always twice

[00:04:21] As hard by the way

[00:04:22] Mea culpa mea culpa

[00:04:24] As they used to say