《Grandpa’s Thanksgiving Story (口白)》歌词

[00:00:07] This is the story of the first Thanksgiving once again by my drunk grandpa：

[00:00:14] Many years ago Christopher Columbus and his pilgrim buddies come to America on a boat called the Mayflower to live because the English King wouldn't let the Jewish people go

[00:00:36] When they landed on America and indian squaw named Sacagawea met them and traded them pelts for beer and then showed them how to de gut a rabbit

[00:00:48] That night her friends danced around with their boobs hanging out and balanced clay pots on their heads

[00:00:54] The head pilgrim then baptized all the Indians to be Christians and they shot turkeys and played horseshoes

[00:01:01] It was General Custer's birthday and three Oriental Kings showed up with gifts of myrrh and other crap

[00:01:07] Many pilgrims did not survive the first winter because they didn't have heat because Jimmy Carter who was president of the Pilgrims had an oil embargo

[00:01:16] Sacagawea and her Indian friends burnt buffalo turds and heated the camp

[00:01:21] The pilgrims was thankful

[00:01:23] However it smelled so bad animals come outta the forest two by two

[00:01:28] The Lord then made a rainbow appear to show that he would never make turds burn again and cause a horrible smell

[00:01:37] Sacagawea fell in love with Kemosabe and they were married on that first Thanksgiving and lived in a tent with wheels That's right

[00:01:48] All the pilgrims were glad to be away from the king and to beat that they all landed right on Thanksgiving day

[00:01:58] Charlton Heston was then elected president

[00:02:01] My grandpa was REALLY drunk