《Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun》歌词

[00:00:00] Could You Please Oblige Us with a Bren Gun - Noel Coward and Orchestra
[00:00:08] Colonel Montmorency who was in Calcutta in ninety two
[00:00:11] Emerged from his retirement for the war
[00:00:15] He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw
[00:00:19] But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a corps
[00:00:23] Poor colonel Montmorency thought
[00:00:26] Considering all the wars he'd faught
[00:00:28] The home guard was his job to do or die
[00:00:31] But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears
[00:00:36] He wrote the following letter to the minister of supply
[00:00:40] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun
[00:00:43] Or failing that a hand grenade will do
[00:00:47] We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition
[00:00:51] And major huss has a arquebus was used at waterloo
[00:00:55] With the vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave
[00:00:59] It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome
[00:01:03] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun
[00:01:07] The home guard might as well go home
[00:01:10] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun
[00:01:14] We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots
[00:01:18] Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment
[00:01:22] And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots
[00:01:26] On Sunday's mock invasion captain Clark was heard to say
[00:01:29] He hadn't even got a brush and comb
[00:01:34] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun
[00:01:37] The home guard might as well go home
[00:01:45] Colonel Montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land
[00:01:49] To drive them back with skill and armoured force
[00:01:53] He realised his army should be mechanised of course
[00:01:57] But somewhere inside experience cried my kingdom for the horse
[00:02:02] Poor colonel Montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride
[00:02:07] To tackle his superiors again
[00:02:11] Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike
[00:02:15] He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain
[00:02:19] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun
[00:02:23] We need it very badly I'm afraid
[00:02:27] Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver
[00:02:31] But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid
[00:02:35] In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon
[00:02:39] Our orders are to storm the hippodrome
[00:02:43] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun
[00:02:47] The home guard might as well go home
[00:02:51] Could you please oblige us with a bren gun
[00:02:54] The lack of one is wounding to our pride
[00:02:58] Last night we found the cutest little german parachutist
[00:03:02] He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried
[00:03:06] We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching through Berlin
[00:03:10] We'd almost be ashamed of it in the Rome
[00:03:14] So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun
[00:03:18] The home guard might as well go home
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