《栾蒲包与丰泽园041集》歌词

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[00:00:02] 俗话说

[00:00:04] 好马出在腿上

[00:00:07] 好汉出在嘴上

[00:00:11] 什么意思

[00:00:13] 在关键时刻能充分利用这张嘴的人

[00:00:19] 好汉

[00:00:22] 咱必须得说清楚了

[00:00:24] 平常席德海摔顺嘴

[00:00:28] 胡乐乐

[00:00:29] 那不叫好汉

[00:00:31] 你得用的地方

[00:00:34] 有干历史的认识

[00:00:37] 栾蒲包就是这种人

[00:00:40] 在张作霖举行宴会

[00:00:42] 这么盛大的场面

[00:00:45] 临危不惧

[00:00:46] 侃侃而谈

[00:00:48] 口四卷

[00:00:50] 何时滔滔不断

[00:00:52] 上一道菜

[00:00:55] 讲一个典故

[00:00:56] 上一道菜

[00:00:58] 说个笑话

[00:00:59] 说得满堂是捧腹大笑

[00:01:08] 张作霖美摇头

[00:01:10] 晃屁股

[00:01:12] 好说得好

[00:01:16] 栾蒲包

[00:01:17] 偷眼一看

[00:01:19] 新发型

[00:01:22] 总算把这壶子头儿给拢住了

[00:01:25] 他老人家不犯脾气

[00:01:27] 不挑刺儿

[00:01:29] 这戏就传唱成功

[00:01:33] 暖宝宝一看差不多了

[00:01:36] 高声喊喝

[00:01:38] 全*席车架

[00:01:41] 马上上全场习

[00:01:47] 在座的1000多一瓶什么

[00:01:51] 全长洗全场

[00:01:53] 洗什么玩意儿没听说过

[00:01:56] 紧跟着左一道又一道

[00:02:00] 全是肥肠

[00:02:02] 做了十了呀

[00:02:05] 栾蒲包在旁边介绍

[00:02:07] 还口中喊着这长的名九转肥肠儿

[00:02:13] 大家注目九转肥肠儿上来

[00:02:17] 红烧肥肠

[00:02:21] 奶糖

[00:02:22] 肥茶

[00:02:24] 交流肥肠

[00:02:27] 大葱肥叉

[00:02:30] 大蒜肥叉

[00:02:32] 红焖飞叉

[00:02:35] 哎哟

[00:02:36] 大伙儿是闻所未闻的

[00:02:39] 灾难做得十分精美

[00:02:41] 品尝品尝

[00:02:45] 嗯

[00:02:45] 嗯

[00:02:46] 真得累啊

[00:02:48] 做得棒极了

[00:02:51] 龙婆儿在这讲

[00:02:54] 各位高清桂

[00:02:57] 有听我在白活几句啊

[00:03:01] 今天为什么都上大肠儿不上小茶

[00:03:07] 为什么叫全长媳

[00:03:10] 哎

[00:03:11] 关键呢

[00:03:12] 这肥肠儿最主要中是一个肥妇

[00:03:17] 大家听明白了

[00:03:19] 肥字嘛

[00:03:21] 就代表着肥肥与美美

[00:03:25] 这常骂就代表着源远流长

[00:03:30] 长达胜仗

[00:03:32] 长命百岁

[00:03:35] 为什么上食道

[00:03:37] 大肠的菜

[00:03:38] 这就象征着十全十美

[00:03:42] 在座的各位和我一样

[00:03:44] 都沾大帅的光

[00:03:46] 这叫美中加美

[00:03:50] 大家说是也不是好一个

[00:03:53] 沾光美

[00:03:54] 中加美啊

[00:03:58] 张作霖在那儿坐着

[00:04:00] 乐得直蹦直颠的屁股

[00:04:02] 哈

[00:04:03] 好一个美

[00:04:04] 中加美

[00:04:05] 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

[00:04:08] 峦头包饺子

[00:04:09] 真有你的

[00:04:10] 真能白活

[00:04:13] 栾蒲包满头大汗磨绒

[00:04:19] 全长西柚

[00:04:20] 撤下最后一道才啪啪啪往桌上一放

[00:04:26] 满座皆惊

[00:04:29] 连张作霖都傻眼了

[00:04:32] 嗯

[00:04:35] 鸦雀无声

[00:04:38] 全傻了

[00:04:40] 一般是什么玩意儿

[00:04:43] 那么大的银盘子往这儿一放

[00:04:47] 银盘子里头放个小孩儿

[00:04:50] 这小孩儿也是猪肉做的

[00:04:53] 哎呀

[00:04:53] 做的栩栩如生

[00:04:55] 就是个小孩儿

[00:04:57] 白胖的大胖小子胖脸蛋

[00:05:01] 圆乎乎的身子有胳膊有腿儿

[00:05:04] 有眉毛有眼睛有鼻子有嘴

[00:05:07] 小嘴还咧着了

[00:05:08] 呵呵

[00:05:09] 两腿中间还有小**哟

[00:05:12] 跟真的一样

[00:05:15] 张作霖长这么大

[00:05:16] 没见过

[00:05:18] 据说

[00:05:19] 这什么玩意儿

[00:05:20] 就在大伙儿全都吃惊

[00:05:22] 谁也不说话的时候

[00:05:25] 栾蒲包说话

[00:05:26] 用手一指张作霖

[00:05:31] 这个老者

[00:05:34] 不是人

[00:05:38] 有20 多个在座上处理下去

[00:05:45] 为啥心说话栾蒲包啊

[00:05:48] 栾蒲包你找死人

[00:05:51] 你骂张作霖不是人

[00:05:54] 张作霖也没想到

[00:05:56] 嗯呢

[00:05:57] 脸当时陈起来

[00:06:01] 我乱跑吧

[00:06:02] 找死

[00:06:04] 你怎么看我不是人

[00:06:07] 轮着班儿也不

[00:06:09] 接着说

[00:06:10] 第二句

[00:06:12] 天蓬元帅降凡尘

[00:06:17] 大帅是天蓬元帅

[00:06:19] 他可不不是人吗

[00:06:20] 他是神

[00:06:21] 他是先

[00:06:24] 一句话

[00:06:25] 大伙儿才出了这口气儿

[00:06:29] 哎

[00:06:30] 细说栾蒲包

[00:06:30] 你怎么说话大喘气这玩意

[00:06:33] 吓死人不抓个淋着脸

[00:06:36] 这才变Le Le ke

[00:06:40] 又满意了

[00:06:42] 栾蒲包又说出第三句话来

[00:06:46] 大帅当年当过土匪

[00:06:54] 大伙儿都知道糟糕

[00:06:56] 临时土匪不假

[00:06:58] 他最腻味提这段事儿

[00:07:01] 谁敢说这话就是他爹

[00:07:03] 他也翻脸

[00:07:05] 当着这么多人的面

[00:07:07] 揭老底儿当着矬人说短话

[00:07:11] 你这不是找死吗

[00:07:13] 渣子琳的脸又拉了下来

[00:07:17] 紧跟着栾破防接着说

[00:07:20] 偷吃人参长正山

[00:07:25] 大元帅是正神

[00:07:27] 是管住的神

[00:07:29] 管住D 先

[00:07:30] 大帅就是正神

[00:07:33] 大家说是也不是呃呃啊

[00:07:36] 是啊

[00:07:41] 这道菜就说明大帅是正神片星下界吃了他福寿绵长

[00:07:51] 长命百岁

[00:07:54] 这就是人参娃娃

[00:08:00] 众人又热烈鼓掌

[00:08:04] 其实栾蒲包怎么能讲出这么多词儿呢

[00:08:08] 没说吗

[00:08:09] 他老上天桥去听书去

[00:08:12] 哎

[00:08:12] 听说这玩意有好处

[00:08:14] 长知识他也不听

[00:08:16] 哪位老先生说过教程母拜寿就是秦琼D 娘祝寿

[00:08:23] 程咬金去给代售去祝贺成母60 大岁

[00:08:29] 那时候曾经有类似的这个事儿

[00:08:33] 另外呢

[00:08:34] 他听那个孙师傅跟他讲过很多的典故

[00:08:39] 他是借用的

[00:08:40] 还有什么大文人纪晓岚给他母亲祝寿

[00:08:44] 也有类似的故事

[00:08:46] 东掏一把西裸一把拼凑起来

[00:08:51] 今儿个用上

[00:08:52] 我果然好使唤

[00:08:55] 哎

[00:08:55] 这玩意儿活学活用啊

[00:08:57] 学会了就用

[00:08:59] 总而言之

[00:09:01] 言而总之

[00:09:03] 这次宴会举办地及其成功

[00:09:07] 张作霖高的性子

[00:09:09] 宴会结束的时候

[00:09:10] 拍着栾蒲包的肩膀

[00:09:12] 老弟啊

[00:09:14] 没给我丢人种啥

[00:09:19] 重赏是多钱

[00:09:21] 1万大洋

[00:09:24] 1万块

[00:09:27] 哎呀

[00:09:28] 栾蒲包是千恩万谢

[00:09:31] 回到新房

[00:09:32] 老婆的玩意儿

[00:09:34] 躺床上动不了地儿

[00:09:36] 总算过了一关

[00:09:38] 这一关

[00:09:39] 前前后后掉了好几斤肉

[00:09:42] 栾蒲包

[00:09:43] 真行

[00:09:44] 就这钱不能独吞

[00:09:46] 上上下下全担惊受怕

[00:09:49] 上上下下大家全

[00:09:51] 出力大有大

[00:09:53] 分儿小有小分儿怕

[00:09:55] 嗯

[00:09:55] 嗯

[00:09:57] 自己上去一步

[00:10:00] 这张作霖也这样

[00:10:02] 张作霖有两大特点

[00:10:04] 第一

[00:10:04] 讲疫情

[00:10:06] 哥们高yes

[00:10:08] 比方说张杰般的人

[00:10:10] 张山李四谈了点儿事儿

[00:10:12] 张作霖宁愿脑袋掉了

[00:10:16] 领人也得去营救

[00:10:19] 所以说章的概括意思

[00:10:22] 对哥们儿

[00:10:22] 那是血腥壮胆

[00:10:25] 找个林业

[00:10:25] 舍得花钱

[00:10:26] 一支千金

[00:10:29] 别看穷孩子出身

[00:10:30] 拿钱不当爹的

[00:10:33] 有的人家就叫爹

[00:10:36] 婚姻如桶

[00:10:38] 栾蒲包也这样

[00:10:41] 不能实心拆黑啊

[00:10:43] 大家是皆大欢喜

[00:10:47] 还说这汪汪汪普得知这信儿本来是高兴

[00:10:52] 暗中咬牙

[00:10:55] 玩突发

[00:10:58] 一个人精神

[00:11:00] 早早晚晚地骑到我的头上

[00:11:03] 我的新房喽

[00:11:06] 你叫你摸多了嗯

[00:11:10] 看来此人必须得早出

[00:11:14] 不然是我最大的威胁

[00:11:18] 他下了决心

[00:11:20] 还是那句话

[00:11:22] 什么时候收拾栾蒲包以后咱再说

[00:11:26] 一加大病毒用

[00:11:28] 栾托班不以为然

[00:11:30] 也想不到这件事儿

[00:11:32] 转过天来

[00:11:33] 该怎么干活

[00:11:34] 还怎么干活

[00:11:36] 话分两头

[00:11:38] 单说张作霖

[00:11:40] 张作霖回到大帅府

[00:11:42] 高兴跟手下人打听怎么样

[00:11:46] 这次宴会举行的如何

[00:11:48] 大水太成功

[00:11:51] 超过袁大头

[00:11:53] 袁世凯

[00:11:54] 谁举行宴会也不如咱爸太漂亮

[00:11:59] 特别是栾蒲包

[00:12:01] 连外国人都挑大指

[00:12:04] 是吧

[00:12:04] 好啊

[00:12:05] 哈哈

[00:12:07] 哎

[00:12:08] 行啊

[00:12:09] 该办什么办什么

[00:12:11] 咱在北京扎下根

[00:12:15] 是我们知道

[00:12:17] 这张作霖本身呢

[00:12:19] 就有许许多多传奇的时候

[00:12:23] 就在大帅府

[00:12:24] 他也不闲着

[00:12:26] 白天办公

[00:12:28] 晚上闷得慌

[00:12:31] 领着亲兵卫队化妆开办

[00:12:34] 到外头溜达散心去

[00:12:37] 三说他进了北京这年

[00:12:39] 快过年了

[00:12:40] 眼看快过年了

[00:12:42] 他心中烦闷

[00:12:44] 也不想上新丰楼

[00:12:46] 穿着一身便装

[00:12:49] 带着侍从溜达到前门外头

[00:12:53] 到前门大石腊儿转一转

[00:12:55] 散散心

[00:12:57] 窄耳朵听了听

[00:12:59] 老百姓没有谈国事

[00:13:02] 但是快过年了

[00:13:03] 都半年或一街筒子全是人

[00:13:07] 到处摆的都是年货

[00:13:09] 老张心里头高兴

[00:13:11] 溜达来溜达去

[00:13:12] 正看热闹呢Y

[00:13:15] 沪上

[00:13:17] 后面来个做买卖的老头

[00:13:21] 老头干嘛的卖糖葫芦

[00:13:25] 扛着草*子

[00:13:28] 上头擦地都是糖葫芦

[00:13:30] 有山药的

[00:13:31] 有这个有那个D 挺花哨

[00:13:35] 老头儿

[00:13:36] 卖糖葫芦

[00:13:36] 做小买卖的

[00:13:38] 也在人群之中穿过

[00:13:41] 他不知道前头这小个子是安国军大元帅张作霖

[00:13:47] 他不知道啊

[00:13:49] 这老头儿一时的高兴喊了一嗓子

[00:13:54] 嗯

[00:13:57] 说话简单

[00:13:58] 糖堆儿不叫糖堆一个字对

[00:14:02] 北京人嗓子好脑后

[00:14:05] 因而这一个堆儿不要紧

[00:14:08] 把张作霖好悬没吓死

[00:14:11] 张作霖正溜达呢

[00:14:12] 没注意这个啊

[00:14:14] 对啊我

[00:14:17] 张作霖

[00:14:18] 好些没扒呢

[00:14:20] 寻思革命党要杀他

[00:14:23] 等站起来一回头

[00:14:26] 遇到卖糖葫芦

[00:14:28] 张作霖可不敢

[00:14:30] 眼睛当时就瞪圆了

[00:14:32] 妈巴子

[00:14:34] 你咋呼成

[00:14:35] 谁让你在我脑后打雷

[00:14:39] 这老头不认识他是谁

[00:14:41] 老头儿也不服

[00:14:43] 哎哟

[00:14:43] 你这人真怪啊

[00:14:45] 我做买卖的

[00:14:46] 我跟你打什么招呼

[00:14:48] 做买卖的能不吆喝不吆喝

[00:14:50] 谁能买呀

[00:14:52] 我喊我的碍你什么事儿

[00:14:54] 你把我吓着了

[00:14:57] 你趴下

[00:14:58] 你在家呆着

[00:14:59] 你上这儿来干什么呀

[00:15:01] 好他妈小子

[00:15:02] 你还犟嘴

[00:15:04] 张作霖火往上撞

[00:15:06] 一伸手

[00:15:09] 在他呢

[00:15:10] 是从五官长腰上把枪就拽出来哈吧

[00:15:16] 顶门早就顶上

[00:15:18] 胡子出身

[00:15:19] 管这对着电脑投电脑

[00:15:24] 啊

[00:15:24] 啊

[00:15:27] 三请

[00:15:29] 嗯

[00:15:30] 嗯

[00:15:32] 当时对呢

[00:15:35] 堂屋了

[00:15:35] 撒了一地

[00:15:37] 人哪就开路了

[00:15:40] 这三枪你可听明白

[00:15:42] 张梓琳离这么近

[00:15:44] 没打这老头儿的脑袋

[00:15:47] 也没伤他的身子

[00:15:49] 头一枪把毡子帽头给他打飞

[00:15:53] 二枪三枪把他保护耳朵的耳包给打飞了

[00:16:01] 那老头儿不知道

[00:16:03] 当时躺那儿昏

[00:16:05] 昏迷过去

[00:16:05] 不省人事

[00:16:07] 张德林

[00:16:08] 这才出这口气

[00:16:09] 把枪交给侍从

[00:16:11] 武官长一转身回到中南海

[00:16:15] 到中南海

[00:16:16] 一坐在那喝着茶

[00:16:19] 侍从武官长乐乐过来大帅

[00:16:25] 今天我有件事儿不明白

[00:16:27] 像大帅请教说吧

[00:16:30] 什么事儿

[00:16:31] 老帅啊

[00:16:32] 谁不值得您呢

[00:16:34] 您是马快枪即啊

[00:16:38] 您是马快管儿直啊

[00:16:40] 直哪打哪

[00:16:42] 只左眼不打右眼

[00:16:44] 白天打剑

[00:16:45] 把夜晚打香头

[00:16:46] 是百发百中的神枪手

[00:16:51] 怎么今儿个内内吓唬你呢

[00:16:53] 老头儿离那么近

[00:16:56] 你怎么一枪都没打上怎么回事儿

[00:17:00] 张柏林一瓶了哈哈哈懂个啥玩意儿

[00:17:06] 只许

[00:17:07] 他吓唬我

[00:17:08] 不许我吓唬吓唬他呀

[00:17:10] 啊吓一跳拉倒

[00:17:13] 哎呀

[00:17:14] 他一知道害怕了

[00:17:15] 就算完事儿哦

[00:17:17] 闹了半天大概是这么回事儿

[00:17:20] 您说他这人有意思没意思

[00:17:23] 另外有意思的事儿

[00:17:25] 还不止是这一件

[00:17:27] 他在北京闹的笑话太多

[00:17:30] 叫他做了安国军政府大元帅的童年

[00:17:35] 日本政府派出庞大的访华代表团

[00:17:41] 日本政府

[00:17:42] 派谁当团长是日本皇太子止付恭亲王

[00:17:49] 领着1000多人访问北平

[00:17:52] 而北京

[00:17:54] 支付功干嘛嘞父亲

[00:17:56] 让他来表面上访问

[00:17:59] 跟张作霖套近乎

[00:18:01] 实质上刺探中国情报

[00:18:06] 带那些人大部分都是特务

[00:18:09] 间谍

[00:18:11] 到北京吧

[00:18:12] 这一来不要紧张作霖得这劲儿之后马上吩咐人是盛情

[00:18:19] 混蛋