《栾蒲包与丰泽园009集》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成

[00:00:01] 书接前文

[00:00:05] 栾学堂啊

[00:00:07] 给姚善人

[00:00:08] 姚泽圣和他的宝贝女儿珍珍

[00:00:13] 讲笑话

[00:00:15] 大唐官徐永海在旁边也听着

[00:00:19] 这笑话挺有意思

[00:00:22] 这都是栾学堂现编的

[00:00:25] 他说

[00:00:27] 有个财主要祭灶

[00:00:29] 摆上满桌酒、烟和酒

[00:00:32] 正好来客人

[00:00:33] 财主出去招待去了

[00:00:36] 告诉他闺女把这个贡献撤了

[00:00:39] 等我回来再祭拜灶王爷

[00:00:43] J 姑娘呢

[00:00:45] 脑袋没墨

[00:00:47] A 他先把这酒给撤了

[00:00:50] 结果呢

[00:00:51] 鸡鸭鱼肉没撤

[00:00:53] 他们家养那狗

[00:00:54] 一看来机会上去

[00:00:57] 把这好东西都给造了

[00:01:00] 等姑娘回来

[00:01:01] 哎呀

[00:01:02] 真糟糕

[00:01:04] 真糟糕

[00:01:04] 非挨说不可

[00:01:07] 正这会儿

[00:01:07] 这财主的客人走了

[00:01:10] 才入进来一看

[00:01:11] 哎呀

[00:01:12] 你怎么搞的

[00:01:14] 你爹你说我顾不过来了

[00:01:17] 我撤这个好

[00:01:18] 撤那个

[00:01:19] 好

[00:01:19] 我先把酒拿走了

[00:01:21] 就没端着酒肉拿着

[00:01:23] 这叫狗就吃

[00:01:25] 老头儿说

[00:01:26] 你忘了

[00:01:27] 咱家的狗不喝酒

[00:01:31] 你先撤酒啊

[00:01:34] 栾学堂等奖的热

[00:01:38] 摇扇人乐得前仰后合

[00:01:41] 知道栾学堂暗骂徐永海

[00:01:45] 因为敬酒的时候

[00:01:47] 徐永海说他不喝酒

[00:01:49] 这笑话儿里头呢

[00:01:50] 是狗不喝酒

[00:01:53] 珍珍毕竟是孩子

[00:01:55] 一开始还没反应过来

[00:01:57] 一看他们乐得前仰后合

[00:01:59] 为什么呢

[00:02:00] 吧嗒吧嗒地笑话的滋味哦

[00:02:02] 明白过来了

[00:02:03] 珍珍也乐的眼泪都淌下来了

[00:02:06] 徐永海一开始没懂

[00:02:09] 在旁边听着

[00:02:12] 后来一听不对劲儿啊

[00:02:14] 我成了

[00:02:14] 搞了我就不会喝酒

[00:02:17] 好好栾学堂

[00:02:18] 你占我的便宜就追打栾学堂打的是跟头咕噜的

[00:02:24] 姚泽圣不但不怪相反特高兴

[00:02:27] 一看女儿乐得那么开心

[00:02:30] 一会儿打闹完了

[00:02:32] 摇扇人也痉挛

[00:02:34] 血糖喝酒

[00:02:36] 这栾学堂端起酒杯来

[00:02:38] 抬头一看

[00:02:40] 正好跟J 真真打了个对眼儿

[00:02:44] 四目啪碰在一块儿

[00:02:48] 哎呀

[00:02:50] 栾学堂就发现J 真真出弱的是如花似玉

[00:02:57] 当初见面前是小学生

[00:03:00] 那是长得就漂亮

[00:03:02] 现在大姑娘

[00:03:05] 你说那脸蛋儿内一深川D 内时髦

[00:03:09] 啊

[00:03:10] 你瞅那眼神

[00:03:12] 那眉毛

[00:03:13] 怎么丑怎么是大美人儿

[00:03:17] 栾学堂地心刷

[00:03:19] 就一翻个脸通红

[00:03:23] 还想多看两眼

[00:03:25] 站在旁边的眼神不错

[00:03:27] 盯着J 真人

[00:03:30] 徐勇海毕竟大几岁

[00:03:33] 经验丰富

[00:03:34] 徐荣海正忙活着一看

[00:03:38] 明白怎么回事儿

[00:03:39] 差的诗里

[00:03:42] 啊

[00:03:46] 瞎猜

[00:03:47] 你愣什么

[00:03:47] 哎哎

[00:03:48] 加猜

[00:03:50] 栾学堂

[00:03:51] 手脚也没地方搁

[00:03:54] 等把珍珍他们送走了之后

[00:03:56] 晚上没事儿了

[00:03:57] 收了工了

[00:03:59] 钻到被窝儿

[00:04:01] 栾学堂的心开了锅里

[00:04:05] 闭上眼睛

[00:04:07] 就是一震

[00:04:09] 赶也赶不走

[00:04:11] 玩儿做梦也是真真

[00:04:15] 简直着了魔了

[00:04:16] 翻来覆去睡不着时唉声叹气

[00:04:21] 他明白

[00:04:23] 现在十七八啦

[00:04:25] 啊

[00:04:26] 在呢

[00:04:26] 农村呢

[00:04:27] 早娶媳妇儿了

[00:04:29] 按照农村的老话讲

[00:04:32] 就是该娶媳妇的时候了

[00:04:35] 按咱科学的名词是青春永动器

[00:04:42] 现在生理结构发生变化了

[00:04:45] 不是孩子

[00:04:46] A

[00:04:47] 对

[00:04:47] 男女之间异性相吸

[00:04:51] 已经产生这种作用

[00:04:54] 睡不着觉了

[00:04:56] 一开始的徐荣海啊

[00:04:58] 没理这茬儿

[00:05:00] 心中爱笑

[00:05:02] 等日久天长了

[00:05:04] 真真来吃一次饭

[00:05:07] 只要走了

[00:05:09] J 栾学堂就犯J 劲儿

[00:05:10] 而且越来越严重

[00:05:13] 自己的弟兄无话不谈呢

[00:05:16] 这天

[00:05:17] 徐永海攒足了劲儿

[00:05:19] 看看其他的人

[00:05:20] 都睡了

[00:05:22] 她捅了捅兰雪堂

[00:05:25] 熊大

[00:05:26] 睡没啊

[00:05:28] 没有

[00:05:28] 睡不着

[00:05:30] 观

[00:05:31] 俩人推头对着头

[00:05:35] 兄弟

[00:05:36] 你的心思哥哥知道

[00:05:39] 你是不是看上珍珍小姐胡说八道

[00:05:43] 我才没那意思

[00:05:44] 说瞎话

[00:05:46] 哎

[00:05:46] 你这人不说瞎话

[00:05:47] 你怎么骗我

[00:05:49] 我旁的事儿看不出来

[00:05:51] 这是我看不出来

[00:05:52] 毕竟我比你大几岁

[00:05:54] 比你有经验

[00:05:56] 兄弟

[00:05:57] 你承认也好不承认也罢

[00:06:01] 打消这个念头

[00:06:03] 从现在开始打消

[00:06:07] 为什么歌这么劝你

[00:06:09] 设身处地

[00:06:11] 你想想你你是干什么的

[00:06:14] 充其量你是个小学徒

[00:06:17] A

[00:06:18] 按这块的话说

[00:06:19] 这个小列巴

[00:06:21] 你是干苦力活的

[00:06:24] 人家珍珍小姐是干什么的

[00:06:27] 家资巨富

[00:06:30] 他爹

[00:06:31] 那在北京城800银号

[00:06:33] 头一把同德号的大老板

[00:06:37] 那家里不是说有金山银山也差不多少

[00:06:41] 人家的地位在天上

[00:06:44] 你

[00:06:46] 在B 比一下

[00:06:49] 我说

[00:06:49] 你讲笑话也好

[00:06:51] 讲故事也好

[00:06:51] 你讲过没

[00:06:53] 门当户对

[00:06:56] 婚姻大事必须得门当户对

[00:07:01] 当然

[00:07:01] 我讲不过你

[00:07:02] 但我就明白这个理儿

[00:07:05] J 们D 差的悬殊

[00:07:08] 这事儿不可能啊

[00:07:10] 你得现实一点啊

[00:07:13] 兄弟

[00:07:14] 别糟蹋自己的身子了

[00:07:16] 该睡觉就睡觉哎

[00:07:19] 你要想娶这媳妇儿也行

[00:07:22] 除了你是暴发户

[00:07:24] 一夜之间怕冷

[00:07:27] 你发了大财

[00:07:29] 你改变了你的命运

[00:07:31] 那还需有门

[00:07:33] 别瞎想了啊

[00:07:35] 别想了

[00:07:37] 哎

[00:07:39] 嗨呀

[00:07:41] 栾学堂仔细回味回味

[00:07:44] 这些话说的不无道理

[00:07:47] 喂

[00:07:49] 我怎么这么穷啊

[00:07:51] 我的地位怎么这么低啊

[00:07:53] 都是一样的人

[00:07:55] 他为什么在天上

[00:07:57] 我为什么在地下

[00:08:00] 难道说这件事我就罢手了不成

[00:08:06] 不行

[00:08:07] 我太喜欢这

[00:08:09] 真的

[00:08:10] 开一会儿

[00:08:12] 我非娶她不可

[00:08:15] 哎呀

[00:08:15] 怎么能取呢

[00:08:16] 我得发财

[00:08:18] 我怎么能一夜之间成暴发户

[00:08:22] 哎呀

[00:08:23] 你想想主意

[00:08:25] 打这之后

[00:08:25] 他动脑筋了

[00:08:27] 突然

[00:08:28] 他有怪想法

[00:08:30] 原来张思表也就讲过

[00:08:32] 这北京什么事儿都有

[00:08:34] 有的人真捡了个皮包

[00:08:36] 皮包里头全是钱

[00:08:38] 有的人翻个跟头捡了一包首饰

[00:08:44] 有的人捡着金条金元宝

[00:08:47] 真有这事儿

[00:08:49] 能不能

[00:08:50] 我我

[00:08:50] 我也碰碰运气

[00:08:53] 哎

[00:08:53] 那会儿我刚到北京的时候

[00:08:56] 我住在陶然亭内破窑里头

[00:08:59] 我听那些小要饭的也讲过这事儿

[00:09:02] 说呢

[00:09:03] 陶然亭内地方经常出现怪事

[00:09:07] 我碰碰运气

[00:09:09] 我不许摔个跟头捡一包金条啊

[00:09:12] 嗯

[00:09:13] 我不行

[00:09:14] 捡点好东西

[00:09:16] 老天爷睁眼保佑我一回a

[00:09:20] 因为我从来没做亏心事啊

[00:09:22] 老天爷保佑

[00:09:24] 我怎么说

[00:09:24] 荒唐

[00:09:26] 还是孩子

[00:09:28] 这天晚上

[00:09:29] 她睡不着觉

[00:09:31] 下定决心时

[00:09:32] 说干就干

[00:09:34] 一看徐勇海中人都睡了

[00:09:36] 他假装上茅房

[00:09:39] 把衣裳穿好了

[00:09:41] 慢慢儿的溜达出来

[00:09:43] 把这门关上

[00:09:44] 起身赶奔

[00:09:46] 陶然亭

[00:09:49] 哎

[00:09:49] 到那块儿就想得外快

[00:09:51] 好几年不来了

[00:09:54] 正好是半夜

[00:09:56] 他一到了陶然亭

[00:09:58] 一进来这个CA 也B 他一看

[00:10:01] 毛骨悚然

[00:10:04] 俺当初在这儿住过

[00:10:06] 没这感觉

[00:10:08] 这次是时过境迁了

[00:10:10] 再来

[00:10:11] 他感觉着浑身上下不得劲儿

[00:10:14] 一看那槐树

[00:10:15] 柳树一眼望不到边

[00:10:18] 而且这陶然亭这地儿太大了

[00:10:21] 在当年的时候

[00:10:22] 陶然平属于郊外大郊外

[00:10:25] 属于北京的远郊一样

[00:10:27] 不像现在发展的这么大

[00:10:29] 套成圈里头

[00:10:32] 内阵就是荒郊野外

[00:10:35] 所以到这块儿

[00:10:36] 多见树木

[00:10:38] 少见人烟

[00:10:40] 哎

[00:10:40] 有时候还有狼

[00:10:42] 有时候还有猛兽

[00:10:44] 这是没看见

[00:10:45] 可听说过

[00:10:46] 反正也ou 呢

[00:10:48] 经常出现

[00:10:49] 有的人在这儿就死了

[00:10:51] 不是被谋杀、暗杀就出了事儿

[00:10:55] 所以这个地儿晚上一般人不敢来

[00:10:59] 谁敢来呀

[00:11:01] 今儿他是想外快炸的板子来的

[00:11:04] 等一近点儿发毛

[00:11:08] 嗯

[00:11:10] 哎哟

[00:11:12] 胡想吧

[00:11:14] 怎么那么巧就能捡着好东西

[00:11:18] 溜达一圈没有

[00:11:20] 没有啊

[00:11:21] 怎么办

[00:11:21] 就这么回去

[00:11:23] 空去白回

[00:11:26] 到我当初祝你破窑溜达溜达

[00:11:30] 他又踅摸着那破摇了

[00:11:31] 在这儿住了将近一年

[00:11:34] 等哈要钻进去pi pi 飞机分

[00:11:40] 恶臭的味儿直刺鼻孔

[00:11:44] 简直叫人恶心什么

[00:11:48] 他退出来之后

[00:11:50] 想了想

[00:11:52] 肯定是死人被

[00:11:55] 这里死了人了

[00:11:56] 没人管

[00:11:57] 都腐烂了

[00:11:58] 哎呀我的妈

[00:11:59] 恶心恶心

[00:12:00] 恶心

[00:12:01] 他转身往回走

[00:12:03] 刚一转身

[00:12:04] 可把他吓坏了

[00:12:06] 远处闪着金光

[00:12:09] 蹲着

[00:12:10] 几条野狗

[00:12:11] 耳朵竖着在那儿盯着呢

[00:12:16] 那也好

[00:12:17] 那吃人哪

[00:12:20] 栾学堂呢

[00:12:21] 在这呆过

[00:12:22] 经常晕的野狗

[00:12:24] 对付狗

[00:12:25] 他还是有经验

[00:12:26] 他虽然下一下子

[00:12:28] 马上镇定下来

[00:12:30] 回首捡了块砖头

[00:12:32] 撇出去冷的地方

[00:12:34] 前期哈一

[00:12:36] 这是对付野狗的办法呢

[00:12:38] 狗头脑简单

[00:12:40] 一看扔出东西打他

[00:12:41] 紧跟着一哈腰

[00:12:42] 不知道捡什么东西

[00:12:44] 这狗是一轰而散

[00:12:47] 跺着脚假装追

[00:12:48] 其实他没追

[00:12:51] 一看狗散了

[00:12:52] 哎我的妈呀

[00:12:54] 哎

[00:12:55] 等等等等

[00:12:58] 算啦

[00:12:59] 栾学堂

[00:13:00] 请说外财不富命穷人呢

[00:13:04] 反正给我的经验就这么回事儿

[00:13:07] 不该我发财

[00:13:08] 我也发不了财

[00:13:10] 回去吧

[00:13:11] 放觉不睡

[00:13:12] 这何苦来的

[00:13:13] 好像没把命搭上往回走

[00:13:17] 他往回走

[00:13:18] 依然是半夜

[00:13:20] 还走着走着

[00:13:21] 还没出J 陶然平呢

[00:13:23] 就觉得身后有脚步的声音

[00:13:27] 咚咚咚咚咚咚啊

[00:13:31] 汗毛都竖起来

[00:13:34] 星座谁跟着我啊

[00:13:37] 明明有脚步的声音

[00:13:39] 莫非闹鬼辣

[00:13:42] 有以下哪来的鬼

[00:13:44] 老人们说

[00:13:45] 鬼是魂灵

[00:13:46] 没啥

[00:13:48] 我听的是沙

[00:13:49] 肯定不是鬼

[00:13:51] 仗着胆子

[00:13:52] 冷不丁一转身

[00:13:56] 把身子留回来

[00:13:57] 可劲儿喊了一嗓子

[00:14:00] 这嗓子可谓是声嘶力竭

[00:14:05] 啊

[00:14:08] 你说半夜三更这一嗓子

[00:14:10] 谁听着不害怕

[00:14:13] 后边儿真是个人

[00:14:16] 那人怀里还抱着个东西

[00:14:18] 嗷的一嗓子

[00:14:19] 把内主下一蹦多高

[00:14:22] 把手里东西噗通掉地上

[00:14:24] 摸下就跑

[00:14:31] 哎哟我的妈呀

[00:14:32] 哎呀

[00:14:34] 真是个人

[00:14:36] 什么人

[00:14:38] 半夜三更跑这干嘛来了

[00:14:41] 难道跟我一样姐妹落来了啊

[00:14:43] 不可

[00:14:44] 不能那么巧合

[00:14:47] 恍惚之间掉了什么东西

[00:14:50] 这人跑了

[00:14:52] 我看看

[00:14:54] 阮学堂胆子就是够大的

[00:14:57] 这样的胆子一步一步一步

[00:15:01] 摸的进钱啦

[00:15:07] 真是个物件儿

[00:15:08] 什么玩意儿

[00:15:10] 下一

[00:15:10] 她仗着胆子

[00:15:11] 颤着双手

[00:15:15] E Mo

[00:15:18] 是个敷包

[00:15:20] 这蒲包啊

[00:15:22] 他发现过许多有钱的人家都用蒲包装贵重的礼品送礼

[00:15:28] 这东西用蒲草编成的

[00:15:31] 这个她不陌生

[00:15:33] 他一摸是铺包

[00:15:34] 用手一掂

[00:15:36] 还挺沉

[00:15:39] 这什么玩意儿这是啊

[00:15:41] 哎哟

[00:15:43] 真该是我时来运转

[00:15:46] 我真捡着好东西了

[00:15:48] 不用问

[00:15:49] 刚才是个贼

[00:15:51] 肯定夜入豪门

[00:15:53] 偷来东西让我一嗓子把他吓跑了

[00:15:57] J 才会落到我的身上

[00:16:00] 哎哟

[00:16:01] 我的妈呀

[00:16:02] 乐的他简直找不着东西南北了

[00:16:05] 捧起这个包里转回身就跑啊

[00:16:10] 一口气儿跑回新丰楼

[00:16:13] 那离天亮还挺远呢

[00:16:16] 顺着原道上回来

[00:16:17] 推门进屋

[00:16:19] 把这铺包放到八仙桌底下

[00:16:21] 哎哟哎哟哎哎

[00:16:28] 栾学堂心里说话

[00:16:31] 我这是背着谁

[00:16:32] 谁也不能背着我徐德

[00:16:35] 够劲儿

[00:16:37] 我们哥儿俩亲如手足

[00:16:39] 就是一包好东西

[00:16:40] 哪怕十根金条

[00:16:42] 我们哥俩也二一添做五

[00:16:45] 我不能瞒着他

[00:16:46] 我发财他也得跟着借光儿

[00:16:49] 他过去把徐永海叫起来

[00:16:52] 大哥

[00:16:53] 歌

[00:16:56] 哎

[00:16:58] 你还没睡啊

[00:17:00] 嗯哼

[00:17:03] 徐文海一看他神神秘秘

[00:17:04] 不知道什么事儿把衣服穿好了

[00:17:07] 揉揉眼睛就问

[00:17:09] 啥事儿

[00:17:12] 这怎么回事儿

[00:17:14] 啊

[00:17:15] 真的

[00:17:17] 哎

[00:17:18] 我的兄弟

[00:17:19] 你真是时来运转

[00:17:21] 那你要发了财了

[00:17:23] 我跟着也借过

[00:17:25] 什么东西

[00:17:26] 我还没看呢

[00:17:28] 我怕被人发现

[00:17:29] 一口气跑回来

[00:17:30] 在这儿

[00:17:36] 歌

[00:17:37] 你打开

[00:17:38] 别让他们知道啊

[00:17:41] 法不传六耳

[00:17:43] 哎

[00:17:44] 但愿里头是值钱的好东西

[00:17:47] 我看看

[00:17:49] 徐永海等不及了

[00:17:50] 啪啪啪把包打开

[00:17:53] 里头包的挺严

[00:17:55] 把东西带走了

[00:17:56] 开歌两个注目往里一看

[00:18:01] 刷牙了

[00:18:03] 怎么傻眼了

[00:18:04] 里头没有值钱的东西

[00:18:07] 是个女孩儿

[00:18:09] 刚生下来小女孩

[00:18:11] 儿歌两个

[00:18:12] 一瞅

[00:18:13] 是木凳

[00:18:15] 口袋

[00:18:17] 嗯