《The Want Ad》歌词

[00:00:00] The Want Ad - Pandora'S Box (潘特拉的盒子)
[00:00:01] This is addressed to all the people who answered or may be thinking of answering
[00:00:04] The personal ad I placed in volume 2
[00:00:06] Number 15 of this newspaper two weeks ago Friday
[00:00:10] First my apologies to the huge bartender with the voice
[00:00:14] And the light hearted dark skinned advertising man
[00:00:16] If either of you had called me back
[00:00:18] I might not be writing this retraction of my ad
[00:00:20] Even though I will soon be too busy to date much
[00:00:22] But why didn't you call back
[00:00:26] But to the others
[00:00:27] Which include the two terrifying sisters
[00:00:30] The under 18's and the over 60's
[00:00:32] The numerous ones who dialed my number
[00:00:34] And hung up as soon as I said hello
[00:00:36] The 35 or 40 of you who made dates with me and never showed up
[00:00:39] Including the one who complained his body was so powerful he couldn't control it anymore
[00:00:43] The desperate wife seekers the already married
[00:00:46] The one who was so one sided that he could think of nothing but sex
[00:00:49] And then have the gall to ask me
[00:00:51] If his nationality was the reason I wouldn't sleep with him
[00:00:54] The many who couldn't get it up
[00:00:55] When I was agreeable and the many who could and did when I was not
[00:00:58] The pleasant young foreigner who turned out to be the private
[00:01:01] Property of his gigantic girlfriend
[00:01:03] The ones who were so grotesque in their appearance
[00:01:06] That I couldn't possibly get past their faces to even consider a relationship with them
[00:01:10] Especially sexual
[00:01:12] The sharks and the geeks and the sadists
[00:01:14] The latter category which I had specifically stated I didn't want
[00:01:18] And the ones who wanted endless dirty talk
[00:01:20] The ones who wanted to be punished
[00:01:22] The ones who could only boast about the size of their
[00:01:24] Bank rolls and or their equipment
[00:01:26] And this definitely includes the teacher who said
[00:01:29] All the kids want my stuff
[00:01:31] The businessman who had an adjective for every letter
[00:01:33] Of his last name r is for rich
[00:01:36] The ones and there were many who said
[00:01:37] My name is so and so and so how far do you go
[00:01:41] The 300 pound lady judge who screamed abuse at me
[00:01:44] The transvestite who wanted me to support him
[00:01:46] The numerous young studs who had nothing to offer
[00:01:49] Besides the negative results of their godd**n blood tests
[00:01:53] The diminutive actor and the other short ones
[00:01:55] The astronomer who cried like a baby
[00:01:57] And said he'd been betrayed by every star he ever knew
[00:02:00] The fanatic priest who wanted me to confess
[00:02:02] To things I'd never even dreamed of
[00:02:04] The worn out soldiers the burned out poets
[00:02:06] The pumped up jocks and the used up kids
[00:02:08] The racists including the one at whose place I left my white sweater
[00:02:12] And I'd rather cut off my right thumb than go back for it
[00:02:15] The drunks junkies crack and coke heads the multitude of liars
[00:02:19] And especially the nice ones who never called back
[00:02:22] To all of you I say
[00:02:23] Just forget my phone number
[00:02:25] I don't need all the hassles
[00:02:30] I'll be starting school next month and I just don't want to be bothered
[00:02:34] Don't hold your breath any of you
[00:02:36] Sincerely
[00:02:37] The underweight platinum blonde
[00:02:40] Have a nice day
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