《水浒0019》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由TME AI技术生成

[00:00:01] 花和尚鲁智深受至清长老所差

[00:00:09] 到酸枣门外去管理菜园子

[00:00:16] 通告这一发出

[00:00:19] 就激怒了那些泼皮和无赖

[00:00:25] 张三李四是两个头子

[00:00:28] 马上把哥们儿召集起来开个碰头会

[00:00:35] 商量对付鲁智深的办法

[00:00:40] 一致同意要给花和尚来个下马威

[00:00:46] 让他害怕一辈子

[00:00:50] 可怎么办呢

[00:00:53] 张三李四啊

[00:00:55] 鬼点子挺多

[00:00:58] 说 这么办吧

[00:01:00] 咱就在那个粪坑的旁边儿去见他

[00:01:06] 出其不意攻其不备

[00:01:11] 嘴上跟他说好话

[00:01:14] 然后冷不丁的抱住他两条腿

[00:01:18] 咕通把他扔到粪坑里头

[00:01:23] 让他饱饱的喝顿粪汁儿

[00:01:28] 你说这招儿怎么样

[00:01:30] 好 太好了

[00:01:31] 就这么办

[00:01:32] 我这帮人记忆已定

[00:01:38] 还贪俩钱儿啊

[00:01:40] 买了四样果子

[00:01:43] 到了第二天

[00:01:46] 偷偷摸摸到了菜地

[00:01:49] 就来到粪坑的旁边儿

[00:01:54] 你想

[00:01:55] 那菜地的粪坑可不小啊

[00:02:00] 左边两个右边两个

[00:02:03] 当中是一条人行道

[00:02:07] 人行道宽了下

[00:02:09] 也就在三四尺

[00:02:12] 两旁的粪坑深不见底呀

[00:02:18] 这粪坑啊

[00:02:20] 离着鲁智深住那地方不超过五十步

[00:02:26] 再看这帮小子

[00:02:27] 到了张三李四带着俩人儿拿着四彩的果子在门前就喊

[00:02:39] 问

[00:02:40] 鲁师傅在吗

[00:02:42] 鲁大师在吗

[00:02:46] 鲁智深早起来了

[00:02:49] 梳洗已毕

[00:02:51] 把今天的事儿安排安排

[00:02:54] 正在屋里头胡思乱想呢

[00:02:58] 听外头一咋呼

[00:03:00] 鲁智深站起身来

[00:03:01] 探身往外观看

[00:03:03] 哎呦呵呵

[00:03:05] 怎么来这么帮人呢

[00:03:09] 一瞅这帮人歪戴帽子斜瞪眼儿

[00:03:12] 闪披着衣服罗胳膊挽袖子

[00:03:17] 就不像是好人

[00:03:20] 为首的有四个人儿已经奔这边儿走来了

[00:03:25] 速度相当缓慢

[00:03:28] 后边儿那俩手里好像还拎着点心什么的

[00:03:34] 鲁智深不知道是怎么回事儿

[00:03:37] 迈大步就出来了

[00:03:39] 哦哦

[00:03:41] 阿弥陀佛

[00:03:44] 你们找我吗

[00:03:47] 您是新来的鲁智深鲁师傅吗

[00:03:52] 正是山家

[00:03:55] 唉呀 鲁师傅

[00:03:58] 我们都是本地的菜农啊

[00:04:01] 听说大师来了

[00:04:03] 我们非常高兴

[00:04:06] 弟兄们凑了俩钱儿

[00:04:08] 来看您来了

[00:04:11] 说着话

[00:04:12] 张三李四还有那俩人儿就站住不动了

[00:04:17] 鲁智深就往前走

[00:04:20] 就走到粪坑中间这个过道上来了

[00:04:26] 呵

[00:04:26] 张三李四心花怒放

[00:04:29] 心说来吧

[00:04:31] 离你倒霉可不远了

[00:04:34] 说话间就到了近前了

[00:04:38] 张三李四赶紧一哈腰

[00:04:41] 单腿打铅儿

[00:04:43] 鲁师傅

[00:04:45] 一回生两回熟啊

[00:04:47] 我姓张

[00:04:48] 叫张三

[00:04:50] 他叫李四

[00:04:51] 我叫过街鼠

[00:04:53] 他叫白眼儿狼

[00:04:57] 我们都是本地人哪

[00:04:59] 往后咱们就是邻居了

[00:05:01] 往们给大师傅行个礼不

[00:05:04] 哦 免礼免礼

[00:05:05] 不必客气不必客气

[00:05:10] 可这俩小子行礼是假的

[00:05:14] 利用哈腰这机会来

[00:05:17] 砰砰

[00:05:21] 一个抱住鲁智深的左腿

[00:05:23] 一个抱住鲁智深的右腿

[00:05:29] 按照他们的安排

[00:05:32] 一使劲儿

[00:05:32] 把鲁智深就扔到粪坑里去了

[00:05:37] 可就在刹那之间

[00:05:39] 花和尚反应过来了

[00:05:41] 唉呦

[00:05:43] 明白了

[00:05:46] 在那老和尚做交接手续的时候向我说的清清楚楚

[00:05:53] 本地有一帮泼皮无赖呀

[00:05:58] 他们就吃这块菜地历届管理菜园子的人那受老了欺负了

[00:06:07] 惹不起他们

[00:06:09] 让我多加谨慎

[00:06:11] 瞧见没

[00:06:12] 来了

[00:06:14] 狗日的

[00:06:15] 你们错翻了眼皮了

[00:06:18] 叫你知道知道山家的厉害

[00:06:23] 鲁智深想到这儿

[00:06:25] 把气往下一沉

[00:06:27] 唉

[00:06:30] 这一招又叫拴马桩

[00:06:33] 又叫千金坠

[00:06:37] 那两条大腿就好像长在地里似的

[00:06:42] 两个人抱住鲁智深的大腿

[00:06:45] 尽管使尽平生的力量

[00:06:49] 是纹丝不动

[00:06:52] 唉呦我啊

[00:06:56] 鲁智深哈哈大笑

[00:06:59] 好小子

[00:06:59] 你们要干什么

[00:07:01] 去你娘的

[00:07:03] 肉肉梆梆

[00:07:08] 把两条大腿左右一甩

[00:07:11] 张三李四的乐子大了

[00:07:13] 头朝下都掉进粪坑

[00:07:19] 没把旁人收拾了收拾他们自己了

[00:07:24] 方才咱说了

[00:07:26] 这粪坑啊

[00:07:27] 深不见底呀

[00:07:30] 这俩人可倒了霉了

[00:07:32] 把大嘴一张

[00:07:33] 这路喝呀

[00:07:34] 唉

[00:07:35] 这回可有吃有喝

[00:07:36] 后边儿那些小子一瞅呀

[00:07:42] 见势不好

[00:07:43] 是转身就跑

[00:07:46] 鲁智深把腰一叉

[00:07:48] 高声断喝

[00:07:49] 听着

[00:07:50] 都给我站住

[00:07:54] 谁跑我逮回来就扔进饭坑

[00:07:58] 他站住这一嗓子好像打个霹雳

[00:08:05] 这帮家伙全站住了

[00:08:07] 唉呀

[00:08:08] 师傅饶命

[00:08:09] 师傅饶命

[00:08:10] 没有我们的事儿

[00:08:12] 你们都给我回来

[00:08:14] 去找杆子

[00:08:16] 把这俩狗日的给我拽上来

[00:08:20] 鲁智深也怕把他们给呛死啊

[00:08:25] 刚来了没几天

[00:08:27] 再摊了人命官司

[00:08:29] 那不就麻烦了吗

[00:08:31] 唉 是是是

[00:08:32] 是是是

[00:08:33] 这帮人儿找来长杆子

[00:08:35] 捏着鼻子堵着嘴到了粪坑的边儿上

[00:08:40] 好不容易算把张三李四给救上来了

[00:08:46] 这两个人也吃饱了也喝足了

[00:08:52] 这路吐啊

[00:08:54] 鲁智深把鼻子也堵上了

[00:08:57] 吩咐他们

[00:08:59] 把这俩狗日的抬到井旁

[00:09:01] 拿水给我冲

[00:09:05] 众人七手八脚把他们抬到井边儿

[00:09:09] 左一桶水右一桶水

[00:09:11] 一直浇干净了

[00:09:14] 有的人把衣服脱下来让他们换上

[00:09:18] 这俩小子把衣服换上了

[00:09:20] 脸儿都绿了

[00:09:21] 扑通跪到鲁智深脚下

[00:09:28] 师傅饶命

[00:09:29] 师傅饶命

[00:09:31] 哈哈

[00:09:37] 说

[00:09:38] 你们想干什么

[00:09:40] 呃 我们说

[00:09:41] 我们说

[00:09:44] 我们的确是本地的菜农

[00:09:47] 因为游手好闲惯了

[00:09:52] 怎么生活呢

[00:09:53] 就吃这块菜地

[00:09:56] 比方说菜收成了

[00:09:59] 我们就上这儿来抢

[00:10:01] 来抢后就去卖

[00:10:04] 去卖下钱

[00:10:05] 我们就买粮买米

[00:10:07] 任意挥霍

[00:10:10] 可历届的师傅也不愿意我们这么干

[00:10:15] 但是我们鬼点子多

[00:10:17] 他不答应

[00:10:19] 我们就想法儿收拾他

[00:10:21] 因此都收拾的老老实实的

[00:10:24] 听我们弟兄的

[00:10:26] 没想到您老人家来了

[00:10:29] 听那意思

[00:10:30] 您挺厉害

[00:10:32] 大概不能听我们的我们这才商议着给您来个下马威

[00:10:39] 没想到没收拾了您

[00:10:42] 把我们自己给收拾了

[00:10:44] 师傅饶命啊

[00:10:46] 下回我们老也不敢了

[00:10:49] 是啊是啊

[00:10:49] 我们再也不干了啊

[00:10:54] 哼

[00:10:56] 人生在世啊

[00:10:59] 应当找个正当的职业

[00:11:03] 像你们这些无赖

[00:11:06] 游手好闲

[00:11:08] 损阴丧德呀

[00:11:11] 你说你们缺德不缺德

[00:11:13] 我们太缺德了

[00:11:15] 缺德还冒烟儿

[00:11:18] 但愿你们说的是心里话

[00:11:22] 今天咱们初次相见

[00:11:25] 我暂时饶过你们

[00:11:28] 下不为例

[00:11:30] 你们胆敢破坏菜园子

[00:11:33] 找筛家的毛病

[00:11:35] 我把你们脑袋拧下来

[00:11:38] 唉呦 是是是

[00:11:40] 再也不敢了啊

[00:11:41] 再也不敢了

[00:11:43] 滚 滚 唉 唉 滚

[00:11:45] 这就滚

[00:11:48] 神鬼怕恶人

[00:11:52] 您不服这个气儿不行啊

[00:11:56] 书说简短

[00:11:57] 张三李四跑回去趴了好几天都没起来呀

[00:12:02] 等过了几天好了

[00:12:05] 又把这帮铁哥们儿找到一块儿了

[00:12:08] 大家一商

[00:12:10] 也不行

[00:12:11] 对付这个鲁智深呢

[00:12:13] 硬的行不通

[00:12:16] 干脆咱就来软的吧

[00:12:19] 万一呢

[00:12:20] 他睁一个眼儿合一个眼儿

[00:12:22] 赏给咱们一条出路

[00:12:24] 咱也不至于喝西北风啊

[00:12:28] 怎么来软的呢

[00:12:30] 大伙儿凑钱买酒买肉来看望鲁智深

[00:12:36] 唉

[00:12:36] 这招果然好使了

[00:12:39] 鲁智深这个人呢

[00:12:41] 心肠软

[00:12:43] 就架不住这套

[00:12:45] 这帮人儿一来

[00:12:46] 一行鼻涕两行眼泪

[00:12:49] 一个劲儿的道歉

[00:12:51] 一个劲儿说好的

[00:12:52] 鲁智深说

[00:12:52] 算了算了算了算了

[00:12:55] 你们也不富裕

[00:12:58] 何必给我送东西呢

[00:13:00] 我也不能收

[00:13:02] 唉呦 师傅

[00:13:03] 您要不收

[00:13:04] 那您还是不原谅我们

[00:13:07] 我们再困难

[00:13:08] 买这点儿东西孝敬您还是可以的

[00:13:12] 如果师傅不嫌弃的话

[00:13:15] 我们愿意拜你老人家为师

[00:13:18] 您教给我们能耐吧

[00:13:20] 对

[00:13:20] 拜你老人家为师

[00:13:23] 三四十号跪了一片

[00:13:27] 给鲁智深磕头

[00:13:29] 鲁智深是海礁儿啊

[00:13:33] 高兴

[00:13:35] 我说你们这可是真心的

[00:13:38] 我们要说瞎话

[00:13:40] 车压马踩

[00:13:42] 不得善终

[00:13:43] 好嘞

[00:13:45] 收下了

[00:13:46] 徒儿们免礼平身

[00:13:49] 多谢师傅

[00:13:53] 鲁智深一想

[00:13:56] 我在这儿看这菜地多无聊啊

[00:14:00] 你是一天无所事事

[00:14:03] 不如收帮徒弟

[00:14:05] 教给他们点儿拳脚

[00:14:08] 今后呢

[00:14:09] 让这帮人也走成正路

[00:14:12] 省着气欺负别人儿去

[00:14:15] 鲁智深想的还真不错

[00:14:18] 打这儿之后

[00:14:20] 这帮人吃完饭按点儿来

[00:14:23] 鲁智深就在院儿里头让他们蹲小架子

[00:14:29] 练拳练脚

[00:14:32] 开始练功

[00:14:34] 其实这帮人儿啊

[00:14:36] 都有点儿基础

[00:14:38] 一教就会

[00:14:41] 因此这帮人对鲁智深也非常尊敬

[00:14:45] 鲁智深对他们也挺喜欢

[00:14:49] 越来越亲近

[00:14:50] 是越来越亲近

[00:14:53] 这片菜地没人儿破坏了

[00:14:57] 张三李四带着头儿

[00:15:00] 还帮着那些劳动僧收拾菜地

[00:15:04] 每一天保证给大相国寺送二十担新鲜蔬菜呀

[00:15:13] 至清长老一看

[00:15:15] 行 唉

[00:15:17] 不管什么人管理

[00:15:19] 从来没像过这样啊

[00:15:22] 你看看这菜又好

[00:15:25] 送的又及时

[00:15:27] 保证供应嘛

[00:15:29] 他怎么不及时呢

[00:15:31] 庙上的人上上下下皆大欢喜

[00:15:37] 鲁智深就开始在这儿定居了

[00:15:40] 每天交给这帮人武艺

[00:15:45] 光阴似箭

[00:15:46] 是日月如梭

[00:15:49] 转眼到了第二年的三月了

[00:15:54] 和东京这地方

[00:15:56] 三月天气就挺热的了

[00:16:00] 鲁智深一想

[00:16:03] 净让他们请我了

[00:16:05] 我没请过他们

[00:16:07] 这回我也破费破费

[00:16:10] 把这半年来的积蓄他全拿出来了

[00:16:14] 告诉张三李四

[00:16:15] 去

[00:16:17] 上街采买去

[00:16:18] 为师要请你们吃饭

[00:16:22] 唉呦 师傅

[00:16:23] 这哪行啊

[00:16:25] 只有徒弟请老师的

[00:16:28] 哪有师傅请徒弟的

[00:16:30] 不不不不不

[00:16:31] 礼尚往来嘛

[00:16:34] 我是一定要请你们

[00:16:36] 越丰盛越好

[00:16:40] 这几十两银子

[00:16:41] 可买老了东西了

[00:16:45] 好牛肉

[00:16:46] 好羊肉

[00:16:48] 好狗肉

[00:16:50] 鸡鹅鸭买了无数

[00:16:54] 这帮人齐下手啊

[00:16:57] 鲁智深在这儿指挥着忙活了一大半天

[00:17:03] 把东西全准备好了

[00:17:05] 这才叫烧鸡

[00:17:07] 扒鸭子

[00:17:08] 炖狗肉

[00:17:09] 炖牛肉

[00:17:10] 炖羊肉

[00:17:12] 又买了几十坛子好酒

[00:17:15] 就在这院儿里放上席子

[00:17:18] 众人是席地而坐

[00:17:20] 开怀畅饮

[00:17:23] 鲁智深说的好

[00:17:24] 今天是一醉方休

[00:17:28] 谢谢师傅

[00:17:29] 谢谢老师

[00:17:32] 轮流霸展可在这个席前呢

[00:17:37] 他们一边吃一边说

[00:17:40] 说什么呢

[00:17:41] 鲁智深给他们讲江湖绿林道的规矩

[00:17:46] 武术之精华

[00:17:49] 这帮人呢

[00:17:50] 抻着脖子静静的听着

[00:17:53] 听的是津津有味呀

[00:17:56] 鲁智深讲的两嘴鸭子冒白沫

[00:18:00] 正讲到传神之时

[00:18:05] 就这后院儿

[00:18:06] 那老瓜呱呱呱呱啊叫起来没完

[00:18:14] 鲁智深一皱眉

[00:18:16] 真他娘的扫兴

[00:18:18] 哪来的这么些乌鸦

[00:18:21] 张三李四说了

[00:18:23] 师傅您等等

[00:18:24] 就那棵树上

[00:18:26] 他也不怎么的

[00:18:28] 呃

[00:18:28] 专招这些乌鸦

[00:18:30] 我们就把窝给他捅了

[00:18:33] 有的说 别介

[00:18:35] 干脆拿烟熏

[00:18:38] 有的说

[00:18:38] 把那树锯倒了就得了呗

[00:18:40] 要这么多树有什么用

[00:18:42] 鲁智深说

[00:18:43] 我看看

[00:18:45] 众人跟着出了角门儿

[00:18:48] 转到房后儿

[00:18:50] 房后啊

[00:18:51] 是一条小河儿

[00:18:54] 河边上就这棵柳树

[00:18:58] 这柳树上边能有十几个老蝈窝

[00:19:04] 这老瓜就是乌鸦

[00:19:08] 鲁智深叉着腰抬头看看

[00:19:10] 嘿呀

[00:19:12] 甚至有时候晚上连觉都睡不好

[00:19:16] 就这些乌鸦

[00:19:17] 太捣蛋了

[00:19:19] 众人这又找梯子

[00:19:20] 找杆子

[00:19:21] 有的却要求锯

[00:19:24] 都叫鲁智深给拦住了

[00:19:25] 不必

[00:19:27] 干脆把这棵柳树连根儿拔了就得了

[00:19:33] 师傅

[00:19:35] 您真说笑话儿

[00:19:37] 您

[00:19:37] 您瞅这棵树有多粗

[00:19:40] 树大了

[00:19:41] 根深哪

[00:19:43] 那还有个拔嘛

[00:19:45] 你们认为我说瞎话吗

[00:19:49] 那倒没敢那么想

[00:19:51] 不过这玩意儿谁也拔不下来

[00:19:53] 看我的

[00:19:57] 鲁智深把外边的僧衣款掉

[00:20:00] 把大带紧了几扣

[00:20:03] 围这棵柳树转了那么几圈儿

[00:20:06] 然后往下一下腰

[00:20:09] 倒着把这棵树给抱住了

[00:20:13] 鲁智深舌尖一顶上牙膛

[00:20:16] 一叫

[00:20:16] 丹田一粒混元气呀

[00:20:20] 先往两旁晃动几下

[00:20:24] 跟那个拔牙差不多少

[00:20:26] 拔牙呢

[00:20:27] 也得嘿嘿晃那么几下

[00:20:30] 砰 给拔下来

[00:20:32] 他拔这棵柳树也采取这个办法

[00:20:36] 那鲁智深两臂一晃

[00:20:38] 千斤之力呀

[00:20:40] 哎呦

[00:20:41] 哎呦 哎呦

[00:20:43] 哎 岂可吱啊

[00:20:49] 张三李四瞪眼儿看着

[00:20:52] 就见土地破裂

[00:20:54] 大树是连根而起呀

[00:20:58] 愣叫鲁智深给拔下来了

[00:21:03] 这就是水浒传中最精彩的一段

[00:21:06] 鲁智深倒拔垂杨柳

[00:21:11] 一举成名啊

[00:21:14] 等树拔下来

[00:21:16] 扑通倒到旁边

[00:21:17] 老鬼也跑了

[00:21:20] 这三四十个徒弟能有五分钟谁也没说话

[00:21:27] 什么原因

[00:21:28] 都惊呆了

[00:21:31] 一个个好像木雕泥塑一般哪

[00:21:34] 张着大嘴

[00:21:35] 瞪着眼睛

[00:21:35] 连气儿都喘不出来了

[00:21:39] 等他们明白过来

[00:21:41] 唉呀 师傅

[00:21:43] 神人也

[00:21:44] 我老师是神人下界

[00:21:47] 呼啦朝全跪下了

[00:21:49] 鲁智深是哈哈大笑

[00:21:52] 哈哈哈哈哈

[00:21:56] 这回你们相信了吧

[00:21:59] 我们太服了

[00:22:01] 师傅

[00:22:01] 您不是一般的人

[00:22:04] 您是上界的金刚

[00:22:06] 您是活佛

[00:22:10] 这个消息是不胫而走

[00:22:14] 老百姓都知道了

[00:22:17] 打这儿之后

[00:22:19] 谁也不敢上这儿起屁来了

[00:22:23] 这出了一个神仙

[00:22:25] 能倒拔柳树

[00:22:29] 那么这个事儿过去之后

[00:22:31] 徒弟们大伙儿又凑钱请师傅

[00:22:36] 这天是二十八

[00:22:38] 大家在院儿里铺着席子

[00:22:41] 照样猜拳行令

[00:22:44] 边吃边谈

[00:22:46] 张三李四说

[00:22:48] 师傅

[00:22:49] 我们跟您学了这么些日子的武艺

[00:22:53] 光是拳脚了

[00:22:55] 您能不能让我们开开眼

[00:22:58] 您练练您那条大铲

[00:23:02] 我师兄弟儿们

[00:23:03] 大家以为如何

[00:23:04] 对 师傅

[00:23:06] 练练大铲

[00:23:07] 让我们开开眼吧

[00:23:09] 嗯

[00:23:10] 是的

[00:23:12] 是的

[00:23:14] 抬铲来

[00:23:18] 六十二斤大铲

[00:23:19] 一个人拿呀

[00:23:20] 还真费劲

[00:23:22] 俩人抬着正合适

[00:23:24] 张三李四把大铲抬到院儿里

[00:23:28] 鲁智深闪掉肥大的衣服

[00:23:31] 把大袋解了襟

[00:23:33] 抄起大铲说了一声

[00:23:36] 给我闪

[00:23:37] 众人都躲出老远去

[00:23:42] 再看鲁智深

[00:23:44] 走行门

[00:23:45] 迈过步

[00:23:46] 两臂轮开就练起来大铲哪

[00:23:53] 六十二斤的铁家伙在他手上就好像一根麻杆相似

[00:24:01] 练的是呼呼刮风

[00:24:03] 神出鬼没

[00:24:06] 也搭着鲁智深哪太高兴了

[00:24:10] 人得喜事精神爽

[00:24:13] 今天的确练的也好

[00:24:16] 越练越高兴

[00:24:17] 是越练越高兴

[00:24:19] 练的是八法神铲

[00:24:25] 刚一收招

[00:24:27] 就听身后墙外有人喊了一声

[00:24:32] 好

[00:24:33] 好神铲

[00:24:39] 鲁智深收招定式

[00:24:41] 甩脸观瞧

[00:24:43] 他这墙啊

[00:24:44] 不高

[00:24:47] 也就到人的胸口

[00:24:49] 再看墙外站着一个小伙子

[00:24:53] 手扒墙头

[00:24:54] 来了多时了

[00:24:56] 正偷着看鲁智深练铲

[00:25:00] 鲁智深定睛观瞧

[00:25:02] 呀呵

[00:25:05] 这主儿长得可太精神了

[00:25:09] 看此人平顶身高九尺左右

[00:25:15] 宽肩膀

[00:25:16] 细腰身儿

[00:25:17] 是一表人才呀

[00:25:19] 扎金剑袖

[00:25:22] 腰悬宝剑

[00:25:24] 白虎岭白水秀是剑眉虎目

[00:25:27] 雁寒胡须

[00:25:32] 鲁智深一瞅就不是一般的人

[00:25:35] 问张三李四

[00:25:37] 唉哈

[00:25:39] 是何人

[00:25:40] 师傅

[00:25:41] 您不认得

[00:25:42] 这是八十万禁军的教头

[00:25:45] 豹子头林冲