《五毒论》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成

[00:00:05] 下面请您欣赏相声五毒论表演者郭德纲

[00:00:09] 于谦人来的不少啊哎

[00:00:20] 今儿多我很欣慰啊

[00:00:23] 大伙儿爱听相声是这牌都是说相声啊

[00:00:28] 相声大会很多演员尤其很多演员都是铭文

[00:00:34] 是吗

[00:00:34] 老师都很了不起

[00:00:37] 有这样的人

[00:00:38] 邢文昭吉这二人

[00:00:42] 哦李文山先生啊

[00:00:46] 王世

[00:00:47] 嗯对

[00:00:48] 张文顺先生

[00:00:49] 嗯

[00:00:50] 佟大为于谦

[00:00:53] 我是和院子里的啊嗨

[00:01:00] 行了行了

[00:01:01] 我都不知道该怎么去

[00:01:03] 咱俩就别练了

[00:01:05] 没味儿了

[00:01:06] 我就单说

[00:01:07] 咱俩单说就行

[00:01:08] 甭丹说了

[00:01:09] 先列啊

[00:01:11] 什么乱七八糟的

[00:01:12] 于谦啊

[00:01:13] 相见一个奇才

[00:01:15] 哇

[00:01:16] 好人呢

[00:01:18] 嗨

[00:01:18] 其实说良心话啊

[00:01:20] 他不止啊

[00:01:22] 我不止说相声

[00:01:23] 他家里有钱

[00:01:25] 嗯

[00:01:25] 他说相声完全是出于兴趣

[00:01:28] 哎

[00:01:29] 我爱这个

[00:01:30] 跟各位一样啊

[00:01:31] 您是爱听相声才上这儿来的I 书写就是这两点不谋而合啊

[00:01:40] 有人说了啊

[00:01:41] 我不爱听相声哦

[00:01:43] 我看点儿别的也可以试试

[00:01:46] 有志不可强求您随意

[00:01:49] 每个人不同的爱好允许呢

[00:01:53] 我来说啊

[00:01:54] 我有别的爱好

[00:01:56] 您还喜欢什么呀

[00:01:57] 说相声只是我的工作噢

[00:02:00] 除此之外

[00:02:01] 和五爷喜欢什么

[00:02:02] 我爱看芭蕾舞

[00:02:06] 高雅艺术最爱看这个

[00:02:09] 养眼没

[00:02:12] 憋什么好

[00:02:13] 新艺术啊

[00:02:15] 艺术按艺术

[00:02:16] 那么看了没有

[00:02:17] 前些日子啊

[00:02:19] 超和芭蕾舞

[00:02:22] 三和三三和三合是吧

[00:02:26] 嗨呢也不大

[00:02:28] 排了一个世界很有名的芭蕾舞剧

[00:02:31] 什么小天鹅的续集大烤鸭

[00:02:36] 好不了在通县队员环岛上演出货

[00:02:40] 我去啊

[00:02:41] 买票对咱们来说十块800张票

[00:02:46] 不再买套躺票投一躺着躺着呀

[00:02:53] 你都坐着看我躺头一排a 啊

[00:03:04] 我我特别喜欢看芭蕾舞啊

[00:03:08] 行

[00:03:08] 我知道您的爱好了

[00:03:09] 连颈椎都治好了

[00:03:12] 我很喜欢这门艺术啊

[00:03:14] 我还喜欢看哈马戏

[00:03:17] 马戏a 耍啊啊

[00:03:20] 那是公子驯

[00:03:21] 狮子对咱们瞧着都害怕

[00:03:24] 嗯

[00:03:24] 他跟着去多好玩儿

[00:03:27] 我去看啊

[00:03:28] 观众都交啊

[00:03:32] 干嘛狼

[00:03:34] 大狼

[00:03:34] 大老虎

[00:03:35] 那大老虎吗

[00:03:36] 一个大姑娘跟他耍

[00:03:38] 害怕惹人家

[00:03:40] 最后这姑娘嘴里叼块儿糖啊

[00:03:42] 捞公狼叼走了

[00:03:44] 吃了人没事儿黑跑

[00:03:47] 其实还不得热死啊

[00:03:49] 我也行啊

[00:03:50] 您也行

[00:03:51] 把那老虎千里啊

[00:03:56] 你等会儿

[00:03:58] 你等会儿吧

[00:04:00] 老虎抢我来教你

[00:04:04] 我我

[00:04:04] 那一天我都不累

[00:04:05] 我告诉你

[00:04:07] 那个姑娘累了

[00:04:08] 商量商量什么呀

[00:04:12] 没听说过

[00:04:14] 我最喜欢这些高雅的艺术啊

[00:04:18] 好

[00:04:18] 你别让我看这个

[00:04:19] 我我这儿没有别的不良嗜好啊

[00:04:22] 抽烟喝酒啊

[00:04:25] 没有这个

[00:04:25] 从来没有不堵歌的

[00:04:27] 钢板没有没有这好

[00:04:30] 这几样出来无毒

[00:04:36] 说五毒俱全

[00:04:37] 就是说这吃喝**抽五毒俱全

[00:04:40] 这不好

[00:04:41] 哎

[00:04:41] 你们家有块匾是这个啊

[00:04:44] 你们家才有这笔

[00:04:46] 记得客厅里五毒俱全吗

[00:04:48] 没有

[00:04:49] 没有哈

[00:04:49] 没有摘了

[00:04:52] 压根儿也没有啊

[00:04:53] 吃喝**这样人口的啊

[00:04:59] 又是一个

[00:05:00] 来病得连命都搭了

[00:05:03] 坑家败产

[00:05:05] 就因为这五个字儿

[00:05:06] 至于吗

[00:05:06] 你瞧把这话说回来啊

[00:05:09] 吃喝**抽

[00:05:10] 有钱的人啊

[00:05:12] 你这吃不上饭还能这样啊

[00:05:15] 没钱干不了a

[00:05:16] 非得有经济

[00:05:17] 只知道末有钱

[00:05:22] 我们家家去等我们啊

[00:05:24] 好

[00:05:27] 啊

[00:05:44] 丐邦邦不算政界的途中长时间啊

[00:05:49] 这名字怎么样呢

[00:05:55] 打狗棍不是这个

[00:05:58] 没有别的意思啊

[00:06:00] 没有说你还出去拾破烂的

[00:06:01] 要饭的丐帮帮主呢

[00:06:04] 不要帮啊

[00:06:05] 它是一种身份的象征啊

[00:06:07] 天底下凡事要花掉的钱都给你拉着老头儿出去

[00:06:12] 西装革履的

[00:06:13] 坐车也有伴

[00:06:15] 身边美女大企业家一样啊

[00:06:19] 秋高气爽啊

[00:06:20] 带着这些美女了

[00:06:21] 出去玩儿去

[00:06:21] 嗯

[00:06:22] 你怎么看的是跨国公司的总经理

[00:06:24] 然后就那么缘分啊

[00:06:26] 拄着拐棍

[00:06:27] 嗯

[00:06:27] 天清水碧

[00:06:28] 鸟语花香

[00:06:29] 嗯

[00:06:29] Fu fu 金丝眼镜拿手一指

[00:06:31] 嗯

[00:06:31] 你们看

[00:06:32] 南面的山坡下面是是不是有块儿饼啊

[00:06:40] 还是要汉

[00:06:43] 你看点儿什么不好的

[00:06:45] 你这个职业习惯算了

[00:06:48] 甭提了这个有钱家里有钱啊啊

[00:06:51] 所以他们家具备的资格

[00:06:52] 吃喝**抽啊

[00:06:54] 有钱就干这个活儿啊

[00:06:56] 他挺继承下来

[00:06:57] 厕所还继承这个

[00:06:59] 全跟他接触啊

[00:07:01] 于谦儿喝酒呢

[00:07:04] 我好喝酒是好东西啊

[00:07:06] 论语中有这么两句话

[00:07:07] 怎么说酒是爹

[00:07:09] 菜是娘

[00:07:09] 喝死就比枪毙强啊

[00:07:12] 论语中有这个词语啊

[00:07:15] 这番第四篇第四篇

[00:07:18] 甭穿了

[00:07:18] 九只羊之精越喝越年轻啊

[00:07:21] 都论语上写了论语写啊

[00:07:23] 少喝对身体啊

[00:07:25] 舒筋活血

[00:07:27] 拿她当正事儿

[00:07:29] 天天喝安全

[00:07:30] 踏实喝酒

[00:07:34] 跟于老这么喝酒

[00:07:36] 山东没法喝啊

[00:07:38] 往我这卷子还没拿出来呢

[00:07:41] 斯都呢

[00:07:42] 嗯呢灯相似呗

[00:07:45] 先混着喝

[00:07:49] 有凉看着害怕

[00:07:51] He 一会儿站起来行走

[00:07:53] 睡啊上厕所啊就尿啊

[00:07:58] 都取去呢

[00:07:59] 上哪儿

[00:08:03] 啊

[00:08:04] 我们跟着怕出事儿啊

[00:08:06] 没事儿

[00:08:06] 稍微啊

[00:08:08] 挺清楚

[00:08:08] 回去甭管我没事儿啊

[00:08:10] 说话挺厉害

[00:08:11] 是往这儿看

[00:08:12] E la la la ur a 上厕所啦

[00:08:21] 这把锁薛薇的多了一点儿啊

[00:08:25] 不是薛威了

[00:08:26] 那已经回来做了

[00:08:26] 别做了别做了

[00:08:28] 不行还喝

[00:08:30] 咚咚咚咚三火接着喝啊

[00:08:32] 喝完又出去了

[00:08:34] 跟着急了

[00:08:35] 别拉我让跟着上厕所跟着回去啊

[00:08:39] 转圈就回来

[00:08:40] 嗯一进门儿看着来回晃

[00:08:43] 啊怎么了嗯

[00:08:44] 没事没事

[00:08:45] 嗯就解皮带了

[00:08:46] 桌子啊吓坏了

[00:08:49] 嗯

[00:08:50] 他拿这当厕所了

[00:08:51] 要了命了都快都起来啊

[00:08:53] 没事儿哎哎哎他急了啊

[00:08:59] 别敲了

[00:09:00] 我也没带只嗨

[00:09:03] 喝太多了

[00:09:04] 很有力量的一个量

[00:09:07] 还能这么喝

[00:09:08] 好喝酒啊

[00:09:09] 他爸爸这点好不

[00:09:11] 喝酒他们喝酒好

[00:09:13] 抽烟就烟勤的

[00:09:15] 我认识他父亲啊

[00:09:16] 余少谦啊于少谦

[00:09:20] 我们家这儿怎么练的

[00:09:22] 这个大户人家按家谱

[00:09:25] 于谦于谦的父亲

[00:09:27] 这儿的鱼少谦于小谦于在谦于有钱

[00:09:30] 海鲜海鲜甭签了啊

[00:09:34] 没听说我们家家谱倒着排啊

[00:09:36] 不叫这个吧

[00:09:37] 叫于德云

[00:09:40] 我爸爸到哪都站啊

[00:09:42] 德云余静

[00:09:43] 余静湖旁骑着名儿呢

[00:09:46] 你就说

[00:09:46] 我给你挑一个

[00:09:47] 你挑一个

[00:09:48] 我甭挑了啊啊

[00:09:49] 爸爸了不起的人物啊

[00:09:51] 随他爷爷从政哦

[00:09:53] 也当官儿

[00:09:54] 在公安机关上班是上班啊

[00:09:59] 一瞧一团尚武精神哦

[00:10:02] 啊啊啊吧

[00:10:03] 出来就这两步走

[00:10:05] 你看受过军训啊

[00:10:07] 他一喊

[00:10:07] 他他一出来

[00:10:07] 啊啊啊

[00:10:12] 这个他腿有毛病

[00:10:13] 没有毛病啊

[00:10:15] 特别有意思

[00:10:15] 往这一站

[00:10:16] 这警察的气极了

[00:10:17] 嗯

[00:10:17] 不好

[00:10:18] 这个不犯人是怎么着

[00:10:21] 就得叫你犯人说话

[00:10:23] 叫你犯人说话

[00:10:24] 一句一句教

[00:10:25] 用得着吗

[00:10:26] 说这意思啊啊

[00:10:27] 老爷子得天独厚

[00:10:28] 就是个性

[00:10:29] 是啊

[00:10:30] 一天到晚抽

[00:10:31] 一根接一根儿啊

[00:10:32] 伸出手来

[00:10:33] 十个指头啊

[00:10:34] 一个里边儿加一根烟

[00:10:35] 这烟瘾太大了吧

[00:10:38] 看着吗

[00:10:40] 嗯呢

[00:10:41] 这么说不贵啊

[00:10:42] 买烟叶儿啊

[00:10:44] 抽烟叶儿成斤的

[00:10:45] 买烟叶儿搓啊搓完了

[00:10:49] H 香

[00:10:51] 咱不懂啊

[00:10:51] 不抽烟不知道啊

[00:10:53] 据说这个抽完之后啊

[00:10:55] 对

[00:10:55] 抽着烟是甜的a 使抽一样啊

[00:10:58] 他们母亲

[00:11:00] 嗯

[00:11:00] 挺好的

[00:11:01] 葡萄酒你拿出来

[00:11:02] 嗨

[00:11:03] 偷偷喝酱油

[00:11:07] 啥呀你抓把盐

[00:11:09] 辣椒面儿

[00:11:11] 孜然什么都往里打了

[00:11:13] 转弯抽吧啊

[00:11:15] 挺好啊

[00:11:17] 抽了一个多月的时间

[00:11:19] 小孩儿都问他爷爷

[00:11:20] 还有大腰子

[00:11:22] 烤烤羊肉串

[00:11:27] 人家问那是不对

[00:11:30] 后来于谦儿穿着当地出喜炎啊

[00:11:35] 那大筒子大竹筒子对对

[00:11:38] 越长越绿越好

[00:11:39] 是市里边装水的时候的咕噜的尼古丁全顾虑到水里边儿了

[00:11:44] A pa 啊

[00:11:46] 呼噜呼噜被罚了啊

[00:11:52] 喝水啊

[00:11:54] 痛快痛快

[00:11:55] 这才破饮好喝嗯

[00:11:58] 后来又厚文鼻眼耳鼻眼耳鼻眼儿可没是不是

[00:12:02] 老北京好

[00:12:03] 这个现如今不得见事

[00:12:06] 就是大时代

[00:12:07] 最差还要买

[00:12:07] 只有这么一家

[00:12:08] 儿子他爸一气把拿在柜台上拿下一个鼻子眼儿

[00:12:12] 取这么笨哪he he Cho

[00:12:16] 一天到晚喝竹筒啊

[00:12:19] 抽烟菜喝

[00:12:20] 抽烟嗯

[00:12:21] 边儿不干别的了

[00:12:25] 好强啊

[00:12:27] 接着就下班了啊

[00:12:29] 这是一个自焚的讨厌呢

[00:12:33] 这警察来看看

[00:12:34] 嗯

[00:12:34] 什么眼神儿拿着讷腊肉抽成什么模样了

[00:12:40] 套路这还都好啊

[00:12:42] 千千万万和别人粘朴朴朴有这么句话啊

[00:12:48] **啊这个字很厉害

[00:12:51] 论语中曾经说过

[00:12:53] 又论语

[00:12:54] 君子好色

[00:12:55] 取之有道

[00:12:55] 嗨

[00:12:57] 论语逮什么说啥

[00:12:58] 翘门深似海

[00:12:59] 一去进不来

[00:13:00] 这都是论语说的呢

[00:13:02] 别说这论语了

[00:13:03] 谁跑路啊的啊

[00:13:09] 于谦儿不好找

[00:13:10] 于谦他父亲也不好找

[00:13:11] 都没得I 于谦的父亲

[00:13:14] 于谦父亲的歌

[00:13:16] 于谦于谦儿你

[00:13:18] 你们家你们

[00:13:19] 你大爷

[00:13:20] 你大爷你大爷

[00:13:26] 你怎么说话呢

[00:13:27] 这是AJ

[00:13:28] 没有啊

[00:13:28] 这个我是说你父亲的哥哥

[00:13:31] 你大爷嘛

[00:13:32] 对吧

[00:13:33] 您骂您您怎么了

[00:13:34] 您说这人是谁啊是谁啊

[00:13:38] 您看什么

[00:13:41] 您就对您这说着说骂人

[00:13:43] 还对我说这人呢你小心眼儿你看见吗

[00:13:48] 我是小心眼儿

[00:13:49] 我不知道这个

[00:13:49] 我没有别的意思啊

[00:13:50] 怎么就给大伙儿介绍介绍

[00:13:52] 他大爷怎么成了一个**

[00:13:54] A

[00:13:55] 不是

[00:13:55] 您可别说这个好

[00:13:57] 一说您什么好意啊

[00:13:58] 真事儿

[00:13:59] 您这可不差怎么了

[00:14:00] 他刚才都说我们家这这抽烟

[00:14:02] 这都没关系

[00:14:03] 你说这家人可没这毛病

[00:14:04] 我说

[00:14:05] 你看

[00:14:05] 这不是咱说

[00:14:06] 怎么说呢

[00:14:07] 咱先说头了个性

[00:14:10] 说说这会儿没说透我们家有别的意思

[00:14:13] 我是好意好意不成

[00:14:15] 您说这我不爱听增光露脸吗

[00:14:17] 嗯

[00:14:18] 这都露什么脸呢

[00:14:20] 急了急了

[00:14:21] 不是急啊

[00:14:21] 您这说别的都可以

[00:14:23] 都是小毛病

[00:14:24] 这可是大毛病

[00:14:25] 别别

[00:14:25] 别急赤白脸

[00:14:26] 我们家人没这毛病

[00:14:27] 谁您那说什么都我错了

[00:14:29] 行吗

[00:14:29] 别闹

[00:14:30] 别喊我

[00:14:31] 不是谁笑话您

[00:14:32] 这我错了

[00:14:33] 你打我行吗我干嘛的

[00:14:36] 我犯不上

[00:14:36] 你比如解解恨啊

[00:14:38] 你骂我骂我我不会骂人呢

[00:14:41] 我就催我

[00:14:42] 你催我行吗

[00:14:44] 你催我两口

[00:14:44] 你解恨催我干嘛

[00:14:46] 催你解解恨解恨

[00:14:51] 你解解恨啊

[00:14:53] 这回了解什么恨了

[00:14:55] 这回该你了

[00:14:55] 来吧

[00:14:55] 这回你干嘛呀我我说你这你不依不饶的

[00:14:58] 怎么了这是不依不饶

[00:15:00] 这事儿没法儿不罚我行吗啊

[00:15:02] 罚你什么错了

[00:15:03] 干嘛呀

[00:15:04] 罚我钱中

[00:15:07] 啊啊啊

[00:15:10] 就这事儿啊

[00:15:13] 太谢谢你砸钱了

[00:15:15] 我就知道你这毛病

[00:15:17] 知道吗

[00:15:17] 不是伐伐我

[00:15:19] 行了啊

[00:15:19] 就得了

[00:15:20] 甭烦您了

[00:15:21] 拿走

[00:15:21] 快拿走

[00:15:22] 去买套房

[00:15:25] 对马挤兑谁呢

[00:15:27] 谁呢

[00:15:28] 我不在乎你

[00:15:30] 我也不在乎

[00:15:31] 你说这干嘛呀

[00:15:32] 不拿这当回事儿

[00:15:33] 不就五块钱

[00:15:34] 埋死你埋死你啊

[00:15:35] 你买谁的

[00:15:36] 铁卫没有说这十块钱罚我吧

[00:15:42] 我错了

[00:15:43] 行吗干嘛呀

[00:15:44] 啊

[00:15:44] 我错了

[00:15:44] 我的天呐

[00:15:46] 我我错了

[00:15:46] 你看伐我呢钱的事儿

[00:15:49] 这有什么呀

[00:15:50] 合适吗

[00:15:51] 啊啊

[00:15:53] 就是er na 事儿

[00:15:55] 没意思那个

[00:15:56] 没意思车马

[00:15:56] 伐伐伐伐我

[00:15:59] 你看罚我多少钱

[00:16:01] 十块钱奖励

[00:16:03] 您啊

[00:16:09] 您骂我一句还拿走五块钱

[00:16:13] 什么人性

[00:16:14] 这是小心眼儿

[00:16:15] 小心眼儿得了

[00:16:16] 谁啊

[00:16:16] 谁啊

[00:16:17] 谁啊

[00:16:19] 大爷

[00:16:19] 确实不是

[00:16:22] 您听半天了

[00:16:23] 你不说完这多别扭

[00:16:24] 听骂这叫起哄啊

[00:16:30] 观众永远正确

[00:16:32] 把这事儿搁徐德亮身上怎么样

[00:16:35] 他是你大爷

[00:16:38] 没听说过

[00:16:39] 您说他得了

[00:16:39] 甭说我这个事儿是真事儿啊

[00:16:44] 还真事儿呢

[00:16:45] 是啊

[00:16:46] 破好人

[00:16:48] 老爷子热心肠儿

[00:16:50] 这话写的特别好啊

[00:16:52] 当年出国啊什么的

[00:16:54] 人哦

[00:16:55] 都跨国了a

[00:16:56] 有生意啊

[00:16:58] 在国外没事儿

[00:16:59] 花钱去上社区加说明

[00:17:02] 哦

[00:17:03] 是是怎么了

[00:17:05] 上新加坡吃饱了没事儿上哪儿玩儿去呢

[00:17:08] 当地人告诉你

[00:17:10] 嗯哪

[00:17:11] 亚龙湾烧烤地方红灯区啊

[00:17:15] 大人高兴啊

[00:17:16] 太好了

[00:17:18] 终于找到了儿

[00:17:20] 就奔那儿去的

[00:17:21] 我去参观学习吧

[00:17:22] 啊一起介绍

[00:17:24] 这都是大陆啊

[00:17:36] 呵呵

[00:17:38] 我还唱着呢

[00:17:39] 嗨

[00:17:41] 没准地方呢

[00:17:42] 说瞎话儿啊

[00:17:44] 这家伙学中国话不利

[00:17:46] 不去了

[00:17:47] 我脚崴转来转去

[00:17:50] 藏前边儿有一大宅子

[00:17:52] 大院子

[00:17:53] 当地红灯区的不允许的

[00:17:56] or 大爷

[00:17:58] 一个非常漂亮的姑娘啊

[00:18:00] 在当地神经病啊

[00:18:02] 挨着你挨着你哭了

[00:18:07] 他都这么漂亮啊

[00:18:09] 你大姨夫买的都抹到那儿好骂

[00:18:13] 自个儿的钱都会在人**的账哦

[00:18:16] 天天跟着高兴吧

[00:18:18] 啊

[00:18:18] 过了这些日子

[00:18:19] 钱花的都到了

[00:18:21] 回国回不来

[00:18:22] 没钱了

[00:18:23] 走不了了

[00:18:24] 嗯

[00:18:24] 这爱镞还不错啊

[00:18:26] 你别不如这位的爱抚

[00:18:31] 谁怕谁不行

[00:18:33] 普通话就说普通话

[00:18:35] 哎

[00:18:35] 你住这

[00:18:36] 嗯

[00:18:37] 咱们这儿干点儿别的活儿好地好

[00:18:40] 打个零工

[00:18:40] 就是我给你取艺名儿吧

[00:18:42] 还有一名挨着我

[00:18:43] 最近嗯

[00:18:45] 哒啦哒啦

[00:18:47] 苏啊苏啊

[00:18:48] 挺好啊

[00:18:49] 在这儿天天干啊

[00:18:51] 唉

[00:18:51] 这天又来一套啊

[00:18:53] 你二大爷

[00:18:55] 我这俩大爷全干这个啊啊

[00:18:59] 有钱高兴一进门来支撑

[00:19:03] 做做人不做汤

[00:19:04] 带钱来啊

[00:19:05] 尤其瞧I 说

[00:19:07] 高兴啊

[00:19:07] 做首诗吧哦

[00:19:09] 还写诗a

[00:19:10] 倾国倾城

[00:19:12] 世间无好

[00:19:13] 哎

[00:19:14] 苏说了啊

[00:19:15] 每人需对人说话啊二大爷说了

[00:19:19] 嗯

[00:19:20] 关联黄清珠和用大人说了啊

[00:19:23] 明天一顿儿巴拉苏

[00:19:25] 嗨全这样了

[00:19:28] 烧的老于的假有这点儿事儿啊

[00:19:31] 甭算了

[00:19:32] 没这事儿啊

[00:19:34] 各注色一把刀

[00:19:37] 忍得过去是英豪

[00:19:38] 千万别因为一个色把自己嗨是不是

[00:19:42] 别沾着水

[00:19:43] 不能沾这跟吃试了试

[00:19:46] 你看

[00:19:46] 吃喝**抽这吃算一个字吃

[00:19:49] 是最简单的

[00:19:50] 吃点儿喝点儿

[00:19:51] 这不能不吃饭

[00:19:52] 对自个er he 啊

[00:19:55] 人日结海er 刚刚已经不吃饿了论语逮什么

[00:19:59] 说什么

[00:19:59] 知道吧啊

[00:20:00] 吃是跟怎么吃不能喝

[00:20:02] 不是啊

[00:20:03] 那对不能乱吃啊

[00:20:05] 也不能舍不得吃哦

[00:20:07] 还有舍不得似的

[00:20:08] 你猜我认识他身上就带十块钱加一个没跑了知道吗

[00:20:17] 请客的时候一般来说都是请人吃早点

[00:20:21] 早点很便宜啊

[00:20:23] 一碗炒肝儿

[00:20:26] 俩人吃一碗炒蛋

[00:20:27] 今天中午来了儿翻炒煎饼

[00:20:30] 一边吃一边哭

[00:20:31] 哭什么这多的

[00:20:32] 吃饱了这嗨啊

[00:20:35] 有的是这点儿

[00:20:36] 说你三大爷

[00:20:39] 我哪那么些大爷

[00:20:41] 我a 我也纳闷儿啊

[00:20:45] 您甭纳闷儿了

[00:20:46] 你就说那个老爷子会吃啊

[00:20:48] 别舍不得吃山珍海味

[00:20:51] 什么叫食性的海鲜啊

[00:20:53] 一下来就吃对身体有好处啊

[00:20:57] 吃了

[00:20:59] 而且为了有助消化

[00:21:00] 吃完之后一会儿海岛

[00:21:02] 乔一品啊

[00:21:05] 这个养生之道

[00:21:07] 我三代牲口啊

[00:21:09] 是吗

[00:21:10] 您说这捣浆糊是吗

[00:21:12] 什么是骂

[00:21:12] 你看我不知道怎么回事

[00:21:14] 什么事您还没定死呢

[00:21:15] 终于消化啊

[00:21:18] 或者外边儿都卖那个营养品

[00:21:20] 鳖精什么

[00:21:21] 你来毁

[00:21:22] 嗯

[00:21:22] 不喝

[00:21:23] 他不喝这个不管用

[00:21:25] 索隆不信知道吗

[00:21:27] 做月经这个

[00:21:28] 买一王八汤

[00:21:29] 嗯

[00:21:30] 泡完之后对准双皮儿啊

[00:21:32] 干七年了

[00:21:32] 一个王子

[00:21:35] 我不会骗人

[00:21:36] 我不吃那个啊

[00:21:37] 于谦儿他爸爸啊

[00:21:39] 好爸爸啊

[00:21:40] 我得吃点儿东西啊

[00:21:42] 什么老爷子交给我了啊

[00:21:45] 我给您找点儿东西

[00:21:46] 嗯

[00:21:46] 吃完之后保证您身体好

[00:21:48] 您得找东西的我认识保定的朋友

[00:21:51] 给老头炖点儿鱼边吃吧

[00:21:54] 那倒是捕老鼠吃完了

[00:21:56] 嗯

[00:21:56] 精神哈

[00:21:57] 哦

[00:21:58] 怎么样

[00:21:59] 告诉你说真话哎

[00:22:00] 这会儿上稀释了啊

[00:22:03] 我说当经理我都能定下来

[00:22:05] 他精神头儿来了

[00:22:06] 可以啊

[00:22:07] 我又种了一盆儿

[00:22:08] 牛米吃这个老城聚啊

[00:22:12] 我这回我能当总经理或不服行吗

[00:22:16] 啊啊

[00:22:16] 唱歌给呢路边啊

[00:22:19] 好高兴啊

[00:22:20] 我能当总理

[00:22:22] 哼

[00:22:22] 了不得上东北弄点儿红边对吧

[00:22:24] 是啊

[00:22:25] 这怎么样

[00:22:25] 总理总理都干什么

[00:22:28] 我想当流氓

[00:22:29] 嗨哎呦撒这伙儿去了啊

[00:22:39] 这几样儿啊

[00:22:40] 在吃喝抽能结识哦

[00:22:43] 还有一个

[00:22:44] 千千注意别沾哦

[00:22:48] 这玩牌对玩牌啊

[00:22:52] 而且跟刘玉强哥这句话啊

[00:22:55] 是不是什么呀

[00:22:56] 读书破万卷下笔没有啊

[00:23:01] 没有读书破万卷

[00:23:02] 下笔如有神

[00:23:04] 你糊涂下笔下笔

[00:23:05] 待不下谁

[00:23:06] 跟你玩儿扎金花怎么整个车上都有论语人还有扎金花啊吃

[00:23:16] 还有涛哥吃饭上谁家玩儿

[00:23:18] 赶紧不上班儿上这边儿正好儿我能挣多少钱或拿大买卖呢

[00:23:24] 没有把握一进门儿前后院儿都得了啊哦

[00:23:27] 准备抢澄清

[00:23:29] 怕我们出去同学们啊进入了一看这二幢私房啊

[00:23:35] 人都齐了啊

[00:23:41] 钱都扔桌子里

[00:23:42] 一会儿咣咣咣一当人警察来了

[00:23:44] 抓赌他一伸手把灯关了

[00:23:46] 把钱胡路怀里推开窗户跳出去翻墙头回家好了

[00:23:51] 耍钱就指着这个挣钱

[00:23:55] 哦哦

[00:23:55] 他四大爷四大爷又怎么了

[00:24:00] 他好玩儿钱但是

[00:24:03] 没有这么笨

[00:24:04] 不灵a

[00:24:05] 上谁家去玩爱爱

[00:24:06] 玩儿这个啊

[00:24:07] 哪有台球准确

[00:24:08] 是啊

[00:24:09] 一进门儿我上

[00:24:10] 我上趟椅子坐着啊

[00:24:12] 汤里头我倚着这被窝动啊

[00:24:15] 舒服

[00:24:15] 我这大皮鞋新买的

[00:24:16] 80多

[00:24:17] 嗯

[00:24:18] 搁哪儿搁哪儿

[00:24:19] 搁着

[00:24:22] Aa 好吗

[00:24:24] 他心细啊

[00:24:25] 一会儿功夫就下来了

[00:24:27] 呼啦

[00:24:27] 全跑了啊

[00:24:28] 就剩他一人做汤啊

[00:24:31] 你干嘛去啊

[00:24:33] 人呢

[00:24:34] 都跑了

[00:24:35] 是啊

[00:24:36] 你怎么着啊

[00:24:37] 我跟你走怎么斜着呢

[00:24:40] 嗨

[00:24:41] 没这么笨的了

[00:24:42] 在过去来说

[00:24:43] 耍都耍最简单

[00:24:46] 早晨起来连卖早点卖早点卖

[00:24:51] 怎么做Di 抽签儿的

[00:24:54] 烂的肥肉夹烧饼果子呀

[00:24:56] 嗯

[00:24:58] 蜜麻花儿

[00:24:58] 嗯

[00:24:59] 手里拿着一个市里边装

[00:25:02] 1000啊he 的排挤的点儿

[00:25:05] 一抽一毛钱

[00:25:06] 抽110

[00:25:07] 抽三根儿三根儿

[00:25:09] 这点儿搁一块儿

[00:25:11] 超过13 算赢了就赢了呢啊

[00:25:13] 赢了之后能摆哪一套屏

[00:25:15] 烧饼果子白拿一套白痴A 1 是14 1 516

[00:25:19] 这是这是拿双

[00:25:21] 干嘛三个u 点事儿啊

[00:25:23] 这就是顺子

[00:25:24] 顺子给人拿哦

[00:25:26] A 早上起来就是这个

[00:25:28] 而且喊过来啪啪啪一抽

[00:25:30] 嗯

[00:25:31] 每把都零

[00:25:32] 你瞧瞧

[00:25:32] 每把都赢双排抽签儿的喊下来了

[00:25:36] 那可不是这篮子都给人都不够啊

[00:25:39] 有好心人家里多少口人呢

[00:25:42] 家里四口人指着我一个人

[00:25:44] 嗯嗯

[00:25:46] 我先吃着吧啊

[00:25:47] 赢那些个你都存起来啊

[00:25:49] 以后再吃吧好心眼这是好人

[00:25:52] 对对对

[00:25:52] 就怕碰见你大爷要亲命

[00:25:57] 早上起来跟街上等着啊

[00:25:59] 抽签的回归过来

[00:26:01] 指着这个呢

[00:26:02] 谁来的啊

[00:26:03] 嗯

[00:26:04] 所以就没挨饿一天啊

[00:26:05] 好吗不赌不吃饭

[00:26:07] 怎么着一会儿回来快多少钱一把啊

[00:26:13] 一毛钱一毛

[00:26:14] 一毛一把是吧

[00:26:15] 嗯

[00:26:16] 是吧

[00:26:16] 减了多少

[00:26:17] 给两份儿行嘞

[00:26:19] 一伸手先抓起到烧饼果子啊

[00:26:22] 这烧饼几两啊

[00:26:24] 先看大小二两啊

[00:26:28] 我们这儿都八斤烧饼锅盖

[00:26:31] 锅盖哎

[00:26:33] 你别问他

[00:26:34] 四处号不让玩不让落浅呐人刑刺挠

[00:26:41] 来来来来

[00:26:41] 抽一抽一抽吧

[00:26:43] 拿我签筒子来

[00:26:44] 未曾抽之前这干嘛

[00:26:49] 先打他四个嘴巴这是为什么

[00:26:51] 为了一会儿抽出好枪

[00:26:53] 嗯

[00:26:54] 这把不算啊

[00:26:55] 不算先试试啊试试手老死啊

[00:27:02] 连上了

[00:27:03] 给你两套

[00:27:04] 你瞧你不刚说不算啊

[00:27:06] 再来

[00:27:06] 再来

[00:27:07] 再来再来

[00:27:07] 蹭蹭蹭蹭出三根儿

[00:27:10] 算好了就好了啊

[00:27:14] 我上这儿来

[00:27:15] 这边风景还信这讨厌这抻出来

[00:27:19] 嗯呵呵

[00:27:21] 大片儿大片儿啊

[00:27:24] 看见了你活得了吗

[00:27:27] 你啊

[00:27:28] 一大圈儿人就活不了

[00:27:31] 这是妖孽哦

[00:27:33] 你爸爸活得了

[00:27:35] 找你喷一边

[00:27:37] 嗯

[00:27:37] 这边儿主

[00:27:39] 而你们家别克好舍不得琛哥到狮虎头马狮

[00:27:47] 虎头妈

[00:27:48] 你抻出来瞧瞧

[00:27:49] 是我初期一使劲出了事儿

[00:27:53] 出什么事儿了

[00:27:54] 你四大爷是这么多钱啊

[00:27:56] 你爸爸打电话过来哦

[00:27:58] 得兄弟

[00:27:59] 干嘛呢

[00:27:59] 抽签儿呢啊

[00:28:00] 我瞧瞧咯后边毛坎

[00:28:05] 什么毛病

[00:28:06] 这一毛都不要

[00:28:07] 珠江he 全擦脸上

[00:28:11] 哎哟我的妈呀

[00:28:12] 你瞧着点儿

[00:28:13] 哎哟

[00:28:14] 我没瞧见啊

[00:28:15] 这种话说的

[00:28:16] 怎么上医院上医院

[00:28:18] 着什么急啊

[00:28:18] 啊

[00:28:19] 那是

[00:28:19] 虎头虎头虎脑