《表哥活该你单身狗!!》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:06] 哦
[00:00:10] 啊
[00:00:16] 我有个表哥呢
[00:00:17] 是当兵出身的
[00:00:18] 我妈前段时间让我给他介绍个女朋友
[00:00:21] 正好呢
[00:00:22] 我有个朋友小时候学过武术
[00:00:24] 也对兵哥哥很有好感
[00:00:26] 再加上我的三寸不烂之舌啊
[00:00:29] 两个人很快就见面了
[00:00:31] 但是结果呢
[00:00:32] 我是万万没有想到啊
[00:00:33] 我这表格为了证明我朋友学的都是花架子
[00:00:37] 没有自己在军队里学的行军拳
[00:00:39] 厉害两个人竟然打了一架
[00:00:42] 几个过肩摔之后
[00:00:44] 我终于知道了
[00:00:45] 表哥
[00:00:46] 你活该单身狗啊
[00:00:49] 为了不给大声笑
[00:00:51] 为了不敢大声陪小小一点儿的
[00:00:55] 刚才在宾馆的过道里呢遇到了一个男生
[00:00:58] 我出电梯
[00:00:59] 他刚好拿着正在响铃的手机从房间里边儿出来
[00:01:02] 接听后先是用特别小的声音说
[00:01:05] 吗稍等我一下
[00:01:07] 然后自己原地踏步
[00:01:09] 十几秒钟之后突然往门上一踹
[00:01:11] 再把声音放正常
[00:01:12] 说
[00:01:13] 哎呀
[00:01:13] 刚才我在
[00:01:14] 自习室呢吗
[00:01:15] 现在出来了
[00:01:16] 你有什么事儿吗
[00:01:18] 当时呢
[00:01:18] 我就心想啊
[00:01:19] 看我怎么揭穿你
[00:01:20] 于是我上演了一部自传啊
[00:01:24] 嗯嗯
[00:01:28] 这哥们差点没把我给打死
[00:01:30] 我跟你说
[00:01:34] 你是白天鹅
[00:01:34] 我黑还是夜里
[00:01:36] 嘿嘿嘿
[00:01:38] 我呢就想问一下大家
[00:01:40] 有谁像我一样心中怀揣着中500万的想法
[00:01:45] 想中了之后干这个干那的
[00:01:48] 但是却从来没有买过彩票
[00:01:52] 明白啊
[00:01:54] 我们重开这今天
[00:01:57] 但教授他儿子呢
[00:01:58] 问他呀
[00:01:59] 说爸爸
[00:02:00] 为什么你和妈妈都挺白的
[00:02:02] 我却这么黑呢
[00:02:04] 浙大教授想了很久啊
[00:02:06] 觉得这是一个令人深思的问题呢
[00:02:11] 大声吹
[00:02:12] 为了不哭大声笑
[00:02:16] 我呢
[00:02:17] 有一个朋友啊
[00:02:17] 他和他老婆呢
[00:02:19] 都是数学老师
[00:02:20] 但是他们从来不会为家里琐碎的事情吵架
[00:02:23] 而是直接拿一份高考试卷来比赛
[00:02:27] 这书的人呢
[00:02:28] 就自觉地晾衣服
[00:02:29] 洗碗
[00:02:30] 拖地板
[00:02:31] 所以说我就给他们的生活呢
[00:02:33] 总结起来就是一句话
[00:02:34] 就是一张试卷决定一件事儿
[00:02:39] 叫爱情开心啊
[00:02:41] 少聊一会儿啊
[00:02:43] 聊楞听吧
[00:02:44] 嘻嘻哈哈我们穷开心狼
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