《MTV(LP版)》歌词

[00:00:00] MTV (LP Version) - Lewis Black

[00:00:00] And then I knew things had taken a turn for the worse

[00:00:03] When 3 years ago

[00:00:05] They hired MTV to do the Halftime Show

[00:00:08] And you know why would you hire MTV to do music

[00:00:14] MTV has nothing to do with music okay

[00:00:23] MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken

[00:00:34] MTV is video and video goes where

[00:00:39] In your eye music goes in your ear

[00:00:45] Ear eye eye ear

[00:00:48] Big f**king difference music is like a drug

[00:00:56] When you hear it you have a vision

[00:00:58] And that vision can change over time or remain the same

[00:01:02] You know that first time when you're in love and you hear a love song

[00:01:05] And you think every time you think about it

[00:01:07] You have that vision of your special someone

[00:01:10] And then 2 years after you broke up you're at the bar

[00:01:15] And you hear that song and you go

[00:01:17] "Son of a bitch I'll have a Yager"

[00:01:29] But whatever your vision is I will tell you

[00:01:33] If you're watching a music video

[00:01:36] And the video is exactly the same as your vision

[00:01:40] Kill yourself

[00:01:50] MTV had brought to the stage that day Britney Spears

[00:01:54] N'Sync and

[00:01:54] Aerosmith and they were playing music together

[00:01:58] If that's what you could f**kin' call it

[00:02:01] It was staggering to watch It was so painful

[00:02:04] I actually took a spoon and shoved it up my own ass

[00:02:09] Because if I'm gonna hurt that bad

[00:02:11] I'm gonna do it to myself

[00:02:25] So it was absolutely extraordinary when CBS hired MTV

[00:02:29] To do the Super bowl this year

[00:02:32] Unbelievable and that CBS would be shocked that

[00:02:36] MTV couldn't present a Family Halftime Show

[00:02:42] Had none of the executives at CBS ever turned on MTV

[00:02:46] All you gotta to do is watch it for 5 minutes

[00:02:48] And know that it should be called 'The Boner Network'

[00:02:52] Kids come home from school

[00:02:54] "I'm gonna watch MTV"

[00:02:54] And they lock themselves in their room

[00:02:56] And just put their little peckers right up on the set

[00:03:13] And let me tell you

[00:03:14] It will continue no matter what has happened

[00:03:17] Because of the recent events

[00:03:19] I will guarantee that it will continue to

[00:03:21] Evolve the way it has evolved

[00:03:24] The halftime show in ten years

[00:03:26] Will literally be just planes

[00:03:28] Flying over the stadium and dropping shit on people

[00:03:34] While an orchestra plays classical music