《郭德纲台上呛声岳云鹏》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成

[00:00:04] 人家给你的这不抱着呢吗

[00:00:15] 嗯嗯

[00:00:17] 太沉啦

[00:00:18] 这个嗯

[00:00:19] 谢谢什么啊哎呀呀呀给谁咱俩蔡金格给我的

[00:00:43] 谢谢谢谢啊啊唉呀说话啊

[00:00:49] 他走了

[00:00:51] 怎么他报警去了

[00:00:54] 节目一场接着一场

[00:00:56] 对刚才这个节目由高峰高老师

[00:00:59] 栾云平栾老师二位老师给您说了一段对论梦

[00:01:03] 嗯

[00:01:03] 很经典的一个节目

[00:01:04] 传统节目

[00:01:05] 二位传说的也不错

[00:01:06] 嗯

[00:01:07] 下去休息休息

[00:01:08] 这场又把您换上来了啊

[00:01:09] 该我了

[00:01:10] 跟大伙儿介绍一下这位老师哦呃

[00:01:16] 不是很熟悉啊

[00:01:18] 什么

[00:01:24] 你刚才说什么

[00:01:30] 听听他们的

[00:01:32] 我没没说什么

[00:01:37] 你刚才诋毁我了是吧

[00:01:39] 没有我大伙儿都作证

[00:01:45] 你说实话

[00:01:46] 要不然我退出了

[00:01:57] 当说不当说我刚才说你来着

[00:02:03] 我刚才你说我来着啊

[00:02:05] 说吧说吧

[00:02:06] 就是没都说

[00:02:07] 凭什么你不能说呀

[00:02:08] 就是这没什么呀

[00:02:09] 是说您怎么能够这

[00:02:18] 这孩子

[00:02:19] 他说你臭不要脸谁啊

[00:02:30] 捣乱啊

[00:02:31] 别吓我一跳啊

[00:02:36] 怎么着吧

[00:02:39] 好好的啊

[00:02:40] 好好的

[00:02:41] 好好给大伙儿说一回

[00:02:42] 嗯

[00:02:43] 今天在座的观众特别的多

[00:02:45] 不错

[00:02:45] 心情很高兴

[00:02:47] 当然想当初啊

[00:02:48] 有一个人的时候

[00:02:49] 有一个观众的时候

[00:02:51] 那会儿我师傅站在台上

[00:02:52] A

[00:02:53] 华声天桥

[00:02:54] 还有这个a

[00:02:55] 那会是广德楼孩子

[00:02:58] 华声天桥吧

[00:02:58] 我记得那会儿还没你呢

[00:03:01] 华生天桥游玩了

[00:03:02] 那会儿还打er 酱汁现场直播

[00:03:10] 您干嘛呀您

[00:03:11] 要不然我还不说呢

[00:03:13] 我怕他们不知道

[00:03:15] 那会儿我还铡面馆儿呢

[00:03:17] 行了吧

[00:03:20] 当然啦

[00:03:20] 后来我就不再炸酱面好腿

[00:03:28] 你听人家这合同

[00:03:30] 刚才说那个说习惯了

[00:03:32] 嗯

[00:03:32] 大家面工作

[00:03:34] 后来我就不在那儿干了

[00:03:36] 嗯

[00:03:36] 啊

[00:03:37] 我辗转反侧

[00:03:39] 好

[00:03:42] 都说什么呢你这

[00:03:49] 来瓶儿药吧

[00:03:52] 我看你够呛

[00:03:53] 盯得住了

[00:03:54] 不用不用

[00:03:55] 平常啊

[00:03:56] 您这位老师

[00:03:57] 郭老师

[00:03:58] 嗯

[00:03:59] 给大伙儿说相声

[00:04:00] 一般都是痘根啊

[00:04:02] 站在那边

[00:04:06] 唉呀

[00:04:08] 他太逗了

[00:04:10] 逗草

[00:04:11] 嗯

[00:04:12] 站在这个位置上

[00:04:13] 给大伙儿送去快乐

[00:04:14] 旁边捧哏

[00:04:16] 于谦

[00:04:16] 于老师

[00:04:17] 大伙儿都熟悉

[00:04:18] 今天给他们这两只人拆开分别a

[00:04:22] 您是好意

[00:04:23] 嗯

[00:04:23] 这这两个人拆开分别给我捧哏

[00:04:26] 其实啊

[00:04:27] 说相声不是我的本门工作

[00:04:30] 哎哎哎

[00:04:33] 这话没说完

[00:04:34] 他们就说炸酱面本行啊

[00:04:42] 这都什么观众啊

[00:04:45] 其实你们家人包场是吧

[00:04:48] 嗯

[00:04:48] 郭老师

[00:04:49] 郭老师

[00:04:49] 嗯

[00:04:49] 我问您一个小问题

[00:04:51] 你说吧

[00:04:51] 在我说相声之前

[00:04:54] 炸酱面之后这一段时间我是干什么的

[00:04:59] 你知道待业待业没工作

[00:05:03] 不是你还你还有隐瞒的地方

[00:05:07] 当然啦

[00:05:08] 哎哟

[00:05:09] 你瞅我这个模样

[00:05:11] 我这个扯咯言谈举止

[00:05:14] 我这个苗条劲儿诅咒你们

[00:05:23] 您觉得我应该是一个干什么的呢

[00:05:29] 你还真问住了我了啊

[00:05:32] 这戳GE j 模样

[00:05:34] 这苗条劲儿

[00:05:36] 你肯定是在农村呆过

[00:05:43] 没在城里唱过我呀

[00:05:53] 我不是唱大鼓哒

[00:05:56] 哦

[00:05:57] 我也不是炸酱面哒

[00:05:59] 我也不是说相声

[00:06:01] 我是一个什么说什么啊

[00:06:14] 说你是弹弦儿的

[00:06:16] 哈

[00:06:16] 不是我是一个武当加您

[00:06:23] 等会儿吧

[00:06:24] 您说您是干嘛的

[00:06:31] 你瞧你那个作死的样

[00:06:33] ER 5 刀啊

[00:06:38] 你不弄抢啊

[00:06:40] 谁弄枪

[00:06:41] 舞刀弄枪吗

[00:06:42] 补刀

[00:06:45] 听不懂

[00:06:46] 就是舞台上那个呃那个动作表演

[00:06:57] 哦

[00:06:59] 外国基

[00:07:02] 能变色的那个

[00:07:03] 你才外国基呢

[00:07:06] 不是你学那动作很像啊

[00:07:08] 不是外国基啊

[00:07:09] 美国的补刀骂我听不懂这露华

[00:07:15] 什么呀

[00:07:15] 舞刀舞刀的给你个人吧

[00:07:17] 你说瓶子滦平那是人吗

[00:07:28] 明天晚上可是罗云平的专场

[00:07:32] 你这叫诋毁人家啊

[00:07:34] 平凡

[00:07:36] 瓶子装什么的

[00:07:40] 杨丽萍

[00:07:43] 杨丽萍

[00:07:43] 是瓶子啊

[00:07:45] 那一个

[00:07:45] 您罐子怎么也得说个养子

[00:07:49] 不挨着您这个瓶子骂人家是跳舞蹈的呀

[00:07:53] 对呀

[00:07:53] 我我也是那个

[00:07:55] 你是哪个啊

[00:07:57] 就搞那个呢

[00:07:59] 搞瓶子的

[00:08:04] 收废品的呗

[00:08:07] 这人思想就不正确啊

[00:08:10] 搞舞蹈的

[00:08:11] 谁呀

[00:08:12] 我信了

[00:08:18] 你得加一片儿药

[00:08:20] 我再问您

[00:08:21] 嗯

[00:08:21] 杨丽萍您熟吗

[00:08:23] 这刚听您一说

[00:08:24] 我想起来了

[00:08:24] 我们的舞蹈家

[00:08:27] 那是我的徒弟

[00:08:29] 哎

[00:08:30] 我这个上去了哈

[00:08:34] 就没给我介绍一下哈

[00:08:37] 哦

[00:08:37] 跟您学的舞蹈啊

[00:08:39] 嗯嗯

[00:08:40] 跟我学的舞蹈

[00:08:41] 嗯

[00:08:41] 当然啦

[00:08:42] 对我不太熟悉啊

[00:08:43] 情有可原

[00:08:44] 是因为我对中国不太熟悉

[00:08:48] 我九站在英国

[00:08:50] 明白吗

[00:08:51] 唱戏那玩意儿不是不就在在英国谁啊

[00:08:56] 提起我的名字啊

[00:08:57] 对这个地狱你就会有很敏感的想法

[00:09:00] 你说我们我的名字

[00:09:01] 岳云鹏点儿龙英平

[00:09:05] 这玩意谁听的懂啊

[00:09:07] 这听不懂

[00:09:08] 我给你解释解释

[00:09:09] 说一说

[00:09:10] 先说这个屏就是杨丽萍的意思

[00:09:13] 嗯嗯

[00:09:14] 在龙中华巨龙

[00:09:16] 因为我的父亲是中国人

[00:09:18] 龙中华巨龙应就是英国的意思

[00:09:22] 因为我的母亲是英国人

[00:09:25] 这种情况

[00:09:25] 这种现象您应该了解吧

[00:09:28] 杂交的

[00:09:32] 您会说点好听的吗

[00:09:34] 合资这好听吗

[00:09:38] 呃

[00:09:39] 比穿好听

[00:09:45] 您就说混血儿不就完了吗

[00:09:48] 啊

[00:09:49] 看出来挺昏的

[00:09:51] 混血儿

[00:09:52] 嗯

[00:09:53] 因为我九站在英国

[00:09:54] 对中国呢

[00:09:55] 不太不算太熟悉

[00:09:57] 是

[00:09:57] 是

[00:09:58] 中国那个地方大伙儿都熟悉和不熟悉的都都知道

[00:10:02] 阿拉伯是一个很深的国家

[00:10:04] 嗯

[00:10:05] 在那个国家

[00:10:06] 女儿你失言了哈

[00:10:10] 英国怎么是个失身的国家

[00:10:12] 人家倒饬的很得体

[00:10:14] 一看这人

[00:10:14] He hen

[00:10:15] 湿身台球

[00:10:17] 湿身运动

[00:10:18] 对对对

[00:10:20] 那叫绅士

[00:10:23] 诗诗诗诗

[00:10:26] 差不了些许吗

[00:10:27] 差多了

[00:10:31] 是一个很绅士的国家

[00:10:32] 这回

[00:10:33] 对了

[00:10:33] 我问你

[00:10:34] 嗯

[00:10:34] 去过英国吗

[00:10:35] 没去过

[00:10:37] 在英国你会要饭吗

[00:10:43] 你会要饭吗

[00:10:44] 当然啦

[00:10:45] 我觉得你活着有什么意思呀

[00:10:49] 哎

[00:10:49] 我连要饭都不会啊

[00:10:51] 就是啊

[00:10:52] 你的生活真是丰富多彩

[00:10:53] 当然啦

[00:10:55] 要饭很简单

[00:10:56] 是要饭网那个饭馆一坐

[00:10:59] 往那儿一坐

[00:11:00] 喊过来

[00:11:03] 给人叫饭骂

[00:11:04] 那叫点餐

[00:11:09] 您把这领会成一样儿了

[00:11:12] 您先别要饭

[00:11:13] 您先要脸吧

[00:11:16] 要饭点餐

[00:11:17] 点餐点餐也行

[00:11:19] 我再问您

[00:11:20] Na

[00:11:20] 就应国大餐厅您见过吗

[00:11:22] 我没去过

[00:11:23] 我怎么能见过

[00:11:24] 好吧

[00:11:25] 我讲给你听好吗

[00:11:26] 啊

[00:11:26] 好

[00:11:27] 英国大餐厅打半边看

[00:11:29] 就好像一个大花园一样

[00:11:32] 特别的漂亮

[00:11:33] 特别的美观

[00:11:35] 没有门

[00:11:37] 罐头啊

[00:11:39] 门

[00:11:40] 有很多围墙

[00:11:41] 嗯

[00:11:42] 进去的时候得从围墙上翻过去越狱

[00:11:47] 可以这么讲

[00:11:48] 围墙上面有很多这个那个玻璃墙

[00:11:52] 嗯

[00:11:53] 乐过说

[00:11:54] 这是镇政府吧

[00:11:56] 你们家镇政府这样啊

[00:11:58] 翻过去来到大餐厅

[00:12:00] 嗯

[00:12:01] A

[00:12:01] 院子

[00:12:02] 先说这个院子

[00:12:03] 院子当中有一个水泥磨的洋灰池子

[00:12:08] 你等会儿吧

[00:12:10] 这两样原料是一回事儿

[00:12:13] 水泥不是杨辉

[00:12:14] Ma na

[00:12:17] 是吗

[00:12:20] 那一个您水泥抹的水泥池子

[00:12:29] 洋灰抹的洋灰池子

[00:12:31] 爱怎么说怎么说吧

[00:12:32] 好吧

[00:12:33] 不好听啊

[00:12:34] 有道理

[00:12:35] 嗯

[00:12:36] 水泥磨的洋灰池子真有学问

[00:12:39] 里头有一胶皮管子

[00:12:41] 滋滋滋往上冒水

[00:12:43] 好词儿还额

[00:12:47] 这叫什么知道吗

[00:12:49] 不知道

[00:12:49] 露天浴池

[00:12:53] 英国人真好

[00:12:54] 干净

[00:12:55] 我在那儿洗的澡啊

[00:13:03] 听大姐说你了吗

[00:13:08] 还没呢呢

[00:13:10] 洗过怕丢人

[00:13:14] 多脏啊

[00:13:15] 没洗过澡啊

[00:13:16] 洗完更脏

[00:13:18] 在那洗个澡

[00:13:19] A

[00:13:20] 先脱衣裳

[00:13:20] 哎呀

[00:13:21] 往上打水都弄湿了

[00:13:24] 这个腿打一子

[00:13:26] 嗯

[00:13:28] 知道什么叫一子嘛

[00:13:29] 小时候听说过黑大姨子

[00:13:32] 嗯

[00:13:32] 这个腿舒肤佳

[00:13:36] 沐浴露应该连一块儿的时候就完美了

[00:13:40] 这个为嗯

[00:13:43] 威猛先生

[00:13:45] 你这油够大的

[00:13:48] 这个为

[00:13:49] 嗯

[00:13:49] 八四

[00:13:50] 哎呀哎

[00:13:52] 太脏了

[00:13:52] 你有点儿浑身上下都是泡沫

[00:13:55] 哎呀

[00:13:56] 朋友们开始充了

[00:13:59] 充吧充

[00:14:01] 充的时候不好冲

[00:14:02] 为什么

[00:14:03] 因为咱们中国那个淋浴喷头在上头

[00:14:05] 是啊

[00:14:06] 他这个心了

[00:14:07] 心了

[00:14:08] 你等会儿就这路外国话我都听不懂心乐轩了

[00:14:13] 哈哈哈

[00:14:15] 新鲜吗

[00:14:16] 新鲜了a

[00:14:18] 朝上泗水冲的时候不好冲

[00:14:21] 怎么冲怎么冲

[00:14:22] 我教给你啊

[00:14:23] 浑身都是泡沫

[00:14:24] 在这儿一二走

[00:14:33] 弟弟

[00:14:34] 你都不愿我告诉你

[00:14:36] 优美的舞姿展现出来了啊

[00:14:38] 真不嫌丢人

[00:14:39] 黑浑身上下都冲干净了

[00:14:42] 干干净净的穿

[00:14:43] 迈步往里进

[00:14:44] 嗯

[00:14:45] 英国大餐厅

[00:14:46] 他有门

[00:14:47] 哪挨哪儿没个门呢

[00:14:50] 跟咱们中国的门不太一样

[00:14:52] 又有区别

[00:14:53] 中国的门

[00:14:53] 单扇门

[00:14:55] 嗯

[00:14:55] 双扇门

[00:14:56] 嗯

[00:14:57] 他那个不一样哦

[00:14:58] 四片儿们

[00:14:59] 什么叫四片儿们

[00:15:01] 交叉着的中间有个柱子

[00:15:02] 四片玻璃门

[00:15:04] 哎呀

[00:15:04] 朋友们进的时候不好进啊

[00:15:07] 不能走快了

[00:15:08] 走快了碰巧之间走慢了

[00:15:11] 碰巧后跟的

[00:15:13] 真难说超准投进呢

[00:15:16] 嗯呢

[00:15:18] 转门吗

[00:15:18] 这不就是

[00:15:21] 真可爱

[00:15:22] 嗯

[00:15:22] 闹鬼啦

[00:15:23] 怎么总算进去了啊

[00:15:26] 我进去一瞧啊

[00:15:28] 太棒了

[00:15:29] 屋里头的建筑跟屋外头的建筑一模一样

[00:15:35] 屋里头也有一个水泥磨的洋灰池子

[00:15:40] 地上还有泡沫

[00:15:43] 混血儿

[00:15:45] 你转出来了什么

[00:15:50] 多新鲜

[00:15:51] 那泡沫不刚才你冲的吗

[00:15:55] 诶

[00:15:57] 太奇怪了啊

[00:15:58] 给您道喜啊

[00:16:00] 再来

[00:16:01] 嗯

[00:16:03] 还真不一样哦

[00:16:04] 因为屋里头没有太阳

[00:16:07] 这都心乐轩了

[00:16:10] 哎呀嗯

[00:16:12] 刚要往里走

[00:16:13] 那边过了一个门童

[00:16:15] 门童红色的帽子

[00:16:17] 红色的上衣

[00:16:18] 红色的裤子

[00:16:20] 然后黑皮鞋啊

[00:16:21] 冲我可就走过来了

[00:16:23] 我不爱理他

[00:16:23] 试试

[00:16:24] 长得也不好看我都不拿正眼瞧他

[00:16:26] 嗯

[00:16:27] 我拿我这个庞光这么一扫迈步

[00:16:30] 我就

[00:16:31] 王乐

[00:16:31] 诶

[00:16:32] 你等会儿

[00:16:33] 你等你拿什么一扫膀胱又不懂了啊

[00:16:42] 知识匮乏

[00:16:43] 对对对

[00:16:43] 没钻过去往前看啊

[00:16:46] 这叫直光

[00:16:47] 嗯

[00:16:47] 往两边看

[00:16:49] 这叫膀胱

[00:16:50] 我有俩膀胱也有俩

[00:16:57] 不要再说了

[00:16:58] 你这俩薛飞比我这俩大一点

[00:17:00] 好了好了

[00:17:01] 可以了

[00:17:02] 混血儿不要再说了啊

[00:17:04] 这叫膀胱啊啊

[00:17:07] 这叫余光

[00:17:10] 余光膀胱那是虽炮哥尿的

[00:17:19] 哎呀

[00:17:21] 这挂俩虽泡

[00:17:24] 你说话太骚气啦

[00:17:27] 嗯

[00:17:29] 这不能耍呀

[00:17:32] 啊啦吧

[00:17:43] 呃呃

[00:17:44] 余光余光

[00:17:45] 嗯

[00:17:45] 反正我不拿正眼瞧的

[00:17:47] 但是他还是过来了

[00:17:49] 朝我要我这个弹筒帽a

[00:17:52] 礼貌对礼貌

[00:17:53] 嗯

[00:17:54] 我就给他了

[00:17:55] 他说我临走的时候还给我

[00:17:57] 那不就存上了

[00:17:58] 放在衣帽间

[00:18:00] 我问他了

[00:18:00] 他说给我

[00:18:03] 你都多余

[00:18:03] 出去真丢人

[00:18:04] 我告诉你

[00:18:06] 那我就给你

[00:18:06] 嗯

[00:18:07] 把这个谈

[00:18:08] 礼貌地与他

[00:18:10] 哎

[00:18:13] 眼镜地狱他嗯

[00:18:17] 皮眼镜D 他

[00:18:20] 你室内应啊

[00:18:21] 代替眼镜

[00:18:22] 隐形眼镜哎呀Co 与他口罩地狱他鼻子套给他

[00:18:35] 嗯

[00:18:36] 假牙

[00:18:37] 诶诶

[00:18:38] 他a 假牙你也给他了

[00:18:42] 你不是来吃饭的吗

[00:18:45] 啊

[00:18:46] 假牙拿回来

[00:18:49] 不是我的真脏啊

[00:18:55] 不是这一盆有多少啊

[00:19:00] 四十来个我的天哪

[00:19:01] 都刷干净了

[00:19:03] 这小一号a

[00:19:07] 行吧

[00:19:07] 凑合吧

[00:19:09] 这玩意儿凑合的吗

[00:19:11] 把这个大棉袄

[00:19:13] 嗯

[00:19:13] 棉袄

[00:19:14] 嗯

[00:19:15] 给他

[00:19:15] 噢

[00:19:16] 大棉裤哦

[00:19:17] 诶

[00:19:18] 等会儿拖的什么大棉裤

[00:19:21] 冬天啊

[00:19:22] 你刚才洗澡可都脱光了

[00:19:26] 没冻死你还行啊

[00:19:30] 餐后管这干嘛

[00:19:34] 大荣一

[00:19:35] 哎呀

[00:19:36] 给他大绒裤

[00:19:38] 都大了

[00:19:39] 给他大皮

[00:19:41] 给他提套绒裤

[00:19:43] 里边搭皮裤

[00:19:45] 几个皮裤这是大毛衣

[00:19:49] 大毛裤给他大秋衣裤给他大秋后穿乱了

[00:19:56] 给他大内衣

[00:19:58] 哎哟

[00:19:59] 给他大内裤

[00:20:00] 哎哎

[00:20:03] 你看你

[00:20:05] 哎哎

[00:20:10] 好

[00:20:10] 您这丝袜这是啊

[00:20:12] 吐血

[00:20:13] 你Y 头不洗一遍了吗

[00:20:16] 啊

[00:20:16] 你进来又又脱了

[00:20:18] 热呀

[00:20:20] 有

[00:20:20] 有

[00:20:21] 这么热

[00:20:21] 他那煤球炉子烧的特别热呀

[00:20:24] 哎呀

[00:20:25] 英国人的日子太水了

[00:20:26] 有点儿啊

[00:20:28] 特别热

[00:20:29] 嗯

[00:20:29] 反正我觉得多多穿点儿

[00:20:31] 应该穿上点儿

[00:20:32] 那是必须的

[00:20:33] 要不不太合适

[00:20:34] 我穿秋裤啊

[00:20:35] A 迈步我就往里进

[00:20:39] A 呢

[00:20:40] 手干嘛呢

[00:20:41] 没送你那儿哦

[00:20:45] 那可耽误事儿了啊

[00:20:47] 以前我就贴在这个内裤里边

[00:20:50] 内裤有松紧带儿啊耶

[00:20:52] 里头

[00:20:53] 哦

[00:20:54] 内裤不是给人家了吗

[00:20:55] 试试拎着吧的了是吧

[00:20:57] 嗯

[00:20:58] 找一个比较干净的沙发往那儿一坐

[00:21:00] 显得我特别的绅士

[00:21:03] 您都这样了还绅士呢

[00:21:06] 对啦

[00:21:07] 这会儿喊服务员

[00:21:09] 朋友们喊服务员的时候啊

[00:21:11] 咱得

[00:21:15] 咱得说英语哦

[00:21:17] 还得喊英语a

[00:21:18] 要不不能露怯呀

[00:21:20] 您已经够露怯的啦

[00:21:23] 要不露怯了

[00:21:23] 喊你说英语

[00:21:24] 喊服务员

[00:21:29] Taxi hello

[00:21:32] 诶

[00:21:33] Hello

[00:21:33] 哎

[00:21:35] 撞死你

[00:21:38] 您弄一秋裤光着膀子跟屋打车呢

[00:21:41] 谁打车喊服务员骂开启

[00:21:45] 算了

[00:21:45] 算算啊

[00:21:47] 12

[00:21:47] 哎哟

[00:21:49] 好

[00:21:49] 又回炸鸡面馆儿了

[00:21:50] 这是啊

[00:21:51] 喊同事呢啊

[00:21:54] 想起来了

[00:21:55] 想起来

[00:21:55] 嗯

[00:21:55] 听小兔

[00:21:58] 小兔是高峰变得那个哈

[00:22:02] Wan to ma 2 不是to 吗

[00:22:05] 嘿

[00:22:07] 您这录英语真难学英语嘛

[00:22:10] 嗯

[00:22:10] 小偷

[00:22:12] 他不听我的

[00:22:13] 没抽你就便宜你了

[00:22:16] 反正开幕

[00:22:17] 哎呀

[00:22:18] 卡莫卡莫

[00:22:21] 服务员就过来了啊

[00:22:23] 要跟我说话

[00:22:23] 嗯

[00:22:25] 闪人

[00:22:26] 能吃点儿啥呀

[00:22:30] 好吗

[00:22:30] 回了村儿

[00:22:33] 想对我有一句话想说啊

[00:22:39] 你瞧这鱼线的爸爸呀

[00:22:41] 怎么上这儿来了

[00:22:43] 能吃点啥呀

[00:22:44] 啥都中随便上啊

[00:22:49] 咱

[00:22:49] 咱还得自己点

[00:22:50] 碰见老乡了a

[00:22:51] 自己点吧

[00:22:52] 呃

[00:22:53] 柏兰地

[00:22:54] 喝点儿酒

[00:22:55] 嗯

[00:22:56] 人头狗xo

[00:22:59] 人头马

[00:23:01] 人头马xo

[00:23:02] 面包果子酱

[00:23:04] 对

[00:23:04] 带两瓣蒜来

[00:23:05] 嗯

[00:23:07] 他们反义词就这玩意儿

[00:23:11] 谁听得懂啊

[00:23:13] 就让他走啊

[00:23:14] 是听出来了

[00:23:16] 面包果酱大两半算了

[00:23:18] 面包果子酱我们听明白

[00:23:20] 哪有带

[00:23:20] 算不太明白了啊

[00:23:23] 在英国大餐厅吃饭

[00:23:24] 旁边都是舞厅

[00:23:26] 嗯

[00:23:26] 吃完了

[00:23:27] 他们要去跳舞

[00:23:28] 他们都知道我是舞蹈家

[00:23:29] 都知道我在13岁没有断奶的时候我就跳舞

[00:23:34] 这事儿都谁传出去的

[00:23:35] 经常请我跳

[00:23:36] 我不爱跟他们跳啊

[00:23:37] 我就吃饭

[00:23:39] 吃饭干嚼不能咽

[00:23:41] 我没听明白什么意思呢

[00:23:43] 验完落心

[00:23:44] 嚼完吐了

[00:23:45] 就为嘴里这个味儿啊

[00:23:47] 因为他们经常请我跳舞

[00:23:49] 我不爱跟他们跳啊

[00:23:51] 就这么个情况

[00:23:52] 过来先加人家人

[00:23:54] 请你跳支舞吧

[00:23:56] 嗯

[00:23:56] 不爱跟他跳

[00:23:57] 我就这样

[00:24:04] 走了

[00:24:04] 报警去了

[00:24:05] 嗯

[00:24:06] 不爱跟他们跳舞

[00:24:07] 嗯

[00:24:08] 英国

[00:24:08] 哎

[00:24:09] 我再问您

[00:24:09] 英国的大五星您见过吗

[00:24:12] 这不成心吗

[00:24:13] 我没去过呀

[00:24:14] 中国的呢

[00:24:15] 也没去过

[00:24:16] 我跟那些说相声的有区别

[00:24:23] 现场直播

[00:24:26] 是啊

[00:24:27] 早告诉我我就大点儿事儿了

[00:24:33] 跟那些个说相声是有区别的

[00:24:39] 我跟你讲一讲啊

[00:24:41] 英国大舞厅

[00:24:42] He

[00:24:43] 漂亮极了

[00:24:44] 就大五的呗

[00:24:45] 对呀

[00:24:46] 霓虹灯闪烁

[00:24:48] 打蜡的地板

[00:24:49] 有沙发供客人休息

[00:24:52] 最关键的有一个乐队跟你们这个区团这个乐队不一样哦

[00:24:57] 有区别

[00:24:57] 曲艺团乐队

[00:24:58] 什么什么三三三弦

[00:25:02] 三弦

[00:25:03] 嗯

[00:25:03] 二胡

[00:25:04] 琵琶

[00:25:05] 笛子都一样啊

[00:25:09] 要不你下楼看看去吧

[00:25:12] 反正怎么个闹法咱不知道

[00:25:14] 你留神吧

[00:25:16] 你留神吧

[00:25:16] 啊

[00:25:17] 咱们抽着你

[00:25:18] 首先人家那个啊

[00:25:19] 有一个特别好的

[00:25:21] 叫做黄金做的小便池

[00:25:26] 在那儿吹呀吹卷

[00:25:28] 不要瞎说了

[00:25:30] 那个东西叫萨克斯萨斯

[00:25:34] 萨斯

[00:25:35] 这里还有非典呢

[00:25:37] 什么萨克斯

[00:25:38] 萨克斯啊

[00:25:39] 嗯

[00:25:40] 还有一个松紧琴

[00:25:44] 我在理你我都不好去啊

[00:25:46] 我看见松紧琴我就生气了

[00:25:48] 为什么呢

[00:25:48] 我没从你那儿啊

[00:25:54] 您这手可下了半天了啊

[00:26:01] 太缺德了

[00:26:02] 一题就有啊

[00:26:03] 最关键的啊

[00:26:04] 怎么还有一个人在那拿

[00:26:07] 拿一个东西叫做na 不断

[00:26:10] 我都没听说过

[00:26:11] 拿不到

[00:26:12] 我看拿不到你心里别扭的号

[00:26:14] 什么玩意拉不断啊

[00:26:15] 拉一天拉都拉不断在那儿

[00:26:17] 哎呀

[00:26:18] 小提琴

[00:26:20] Na na 不断吗

[00:26:21] 你拿人当木匠了

[00:26:22] 你啊

[00:26:23] 这都不算什么

[00:26:24] 最关键的是有一个人在那儿站着

[00:26:26] 嗯

[00:26:27] 他不动

[00:26:28] 没人敢动

[00:26:29] 他一动全都动

[00:26:31] 哈哈哈

[00:26:31] 这人倒饬的挺漂亮

[00:26:33] 穿一个屁股帘儿

[00:26:36] 那就燕尾服

[00:26:37] 正好打一个苍蝇节

[00:26:39] 真难听

[00:26:40] 护体而结

[00:26:42] 嗯

[00:26:43] 行户小节

[00:26:44] 然后这油光锃亮手里有两个直播呢

[00:26:57] 什么玩意儿啊

[00:26:59] 有两个我没让你大生孩子啊

[00:27:04] 您说这是指挥拿指挥棒什么颜色的

[00:27:08] 小怪

[00:27:10] 不要再叨咕这个了啊嗯

[00:27:13] 来一个吧

[00:27:14] 来一个吧

[00:27:14] 他不动没人敢动他一动全都动嗯

[00:27:18] 这样跟你学习啊

[00:27:22] 一二当啷当啷当啷当啷当啷当啷当啊

[00:27:29] 河南坠子哪国都有

[00:27:32] 什么叫河南这玩意怎么跳这个啊

[00:27:35] 他们的服务员

[00:27:36] 这不是河南的吗

[00:27:37] 噢

[00:27:38] 说了这么半天是真热闹啊

[00:27:41] 也搭着

[00:27:41] 我没去过舞厅啊

[00:27:43] 你这遗书啊

[00:27:44] 挺感兴趣

[00:27:45] 这么长时间来你隐瞒身份没告诉我们你是个舞蹈家

[00:27:49] 今天很荣幸能和混血儿在这儿相逢啊

[00:27:54] 这个可不可以展示一下你美妙的舞姿

[00:27:57] 让我们参观一下

[00:28:00] 嗯

[00:28:03] 在这儿吗

[00:28:05] 就这儿吧

[00:28:07] 啊嗯

[00:28:11] 坏了坏了坏了

[00:28:13] 怎么从你那儿到了

[00:28:16] 我没有带着我的舞伴

[00:28:19] 哦

[00:28:19] 您这跳舞还有舞伴呢

[00:28:21] 独舞我跳不了

[00:28:23] 一个人还来不了啊

[00:28:26] 那怎么办呢

[00:28:30] 那怎么办

[00:28:31] 改天吧

[00:28:31] 联系

[00:28:32] 哎对对对

[00:28:34] 也不早啦

[00:28:34] 你看你干嘛呀

[00:28:37] 手表呢

[00:28:38] 你瞧你戴着表吗

[00:28:39] 有表你也不认识啊

[00:28:41] 这样吧

[00:28:42] 你看我能不能给你帮一个忙啊

[00:28:45] 咱俩唱一回啊行吗

[00:28:49] 我就主要看你呗

[00:28:51] 咱俩跳什么舞呦

[00:28:52] 这我可外行

[00:28:53] 就是交际舞呗

[00:28:55] 交际舞啊

[00:28:56] 咱俩人咱俩行吗

[00:28:58] 你挑角色吧

[00:29:00] 这有什么可挑角色的

[00:29:01] 一男一女的啊

[00:29:03] 咱俩都是男的呀

[00:29:06] 虽然我是吧是是是

[00:29:10] 那那你觉着怎么好一点呢

[00:29:13] 嗯

[00:29:13] 我觉得你来男的吧

[00:29:17] 我还我还演我的老本行啊

[00:29:19] 因为我我真的我熟悉一些

[00:29:22] 那您就不算反串了呗

[00:29:24] 呃

[00:29:25] 角色好吗

[00:29:27] 咱区分一下角色

[00:29:28] 这怎么区分呢

[00:29:29] 当然了

[00:29:30] 别跑了啊

[00:29:32] 我上哪儿去

[00:29:33] 我啊

[00:29:35] 今天是一个好机会啊

[00:29:37] 跟这个混血儿一起来跳一个舞

[00:29:40] 我这些年来我也没跳啊

[00:29:42] 因为你也知道我这个人

[00:29:45] 城里买的好家伙

[00:29:51] 嗯

[00:29:52] 要不倒饬不好看

[00:29:54] 倒饬完你再瞧呀

[00:30:00] 又狗狗又丢丢啊

[00:30:07] 大伙儿都爱看啊

[00:30:09] 啊

[00:30:09] 在楼上啊

[00:30:11] 大伙儿都喜欢啊

[00:30:13] 你们也是没见过直流黄瓜啊

[00:30:16] 瞧这玩意儿

[00:30:16] 美的跟什么似的

[00:30:18] 我跟你说话呢

[00:30:19] 嘿啊

[00:30:20] 说话呢听不清楚

[00:30:29] 我来个黑猫警长吧

[00:30:33] 啊

[00:30:36] 要多好看有多好看啊

[00:30:39] 咱们现在就可以了吗

[00:30:41] 可以啦

[00:30:42] 这个地方就是舞厅啊

[00:30:45] 你是那个

[00:30:45] 我是这小伙子

[00:30:47] 我要请你跳个舞好吗

[00:30:49] 好好

[00:30:49] 你在这儿坐着等我好吗

[00:30:51] 呃

[00:30:51] 做做哪儿啊

[00:30:52] 这有一个沙发

[00:30:53] 你就一做就可以了

[00:30:54] 没有啊

[00:30:56] 无实物表演嘛

[00:30:57] 就当这种沙发

[00:30:58] 对对对对对对

[00:31:00] 来

[00:31:00] 你做好了吧

[00:31:01] 好吧

[00:31:17] 起来

[00:31:18] 你这解手呢

[00:31:19] 你这啊寒碜不寒碜

[00:31:22] 你说你啊啊

[00:31:25] 你这太过分了

[00:31:27] 稍微的有一点样子就可以好吗

[00:31:29] 咱们就开始啊

[00:31:34] 当当当当当小姐

[00:31:40] 可以请您跳个舞吗

[00:31:53] 你

[00:31:53] 你再吃点儿饭吧

[00:31:55] 好着嘴里的味儿

[00:32:03] 请您跳个舞吧

[00:32:10] 这娘们认生

[00:32:15] 请您跳个舞吧

[00:32:17] 唱一首H 啊

[00:32:29] 这是跳舞啊

[00:32:30] 上头吧