《A Truckie’s Last Will And Testament (1992 Digital Remaster)》歌词

[00:00:00] I, John Austral, Truckie, being of unsound mind and bump bruised body,

[00:00:04] do hereby make my last will and testament,

[00:00:09] To all the crummy pubs, I leave a freeway by-pass, and to all the

[00:00:14] and bequeath my truck to the finance company

[00:00:18] who will end up with it anyway

[00:00:20] To my wife I leave all the loving she can stand

[00:00:23] and a big apology for not being home more often

[00:00:26] I also apologize for being so tired when I was home

[00:00:30] and for wanting to go to bed too early when she wanted to go out

[00:00:34] You know old girl there was a pretty good reason for this

[00:00:37] I really didn't get as much sleep on the road as you imagine

[00:00:40] not really a lot of the time I was just too damn tired

[00:00:46] To my children I leave all the wisdom most of us truckies never had

[00:00:50] and I hope that none of you grow up to be dirty grease covered

[00:00:54] gear grindin' truck drivers like me

[00:00:58] To all good clean honest truck stops I leave the windscreen

[00:01:01] of my old truck which most of them didn't clean anyway

[00:01:05] but I leave it just the same as a shining example of their

[00:01:07] handy work and faithfulness in helping me get to where I was going safely

[00:01:12] To all the lousy filthy dirty truck stops I leave a pair of dirty socks

[00:01:18] and two pairs of dirt covered unmentionables that have been rolled up

[00:01:22] and stuffed behind the seats in between the oil cans

[00:01:25] I leave them so they can hang them up in their filthy rest rooms

[00:01:29] and keep them as dirty as possible so as to scare away any truckie

[00:01:33] who might dare enter that fever infested restroom

[00:01:39] To all highway patrolmen state policemen port of entry inspectors

[00:01:43] fruit fly inspectors tick gate patrolmen

[00:01:46] local constables and government regulators

[00:01:49] I leave 316 pounds of reading matter that includes law books

[00:01:54] motor vehicle guides regulations and other enforced bull dust

[00:01:59] so they can become as fed up as I was

[00:02:04] To honest fair lawmen I leave a waving hand in memory of

[00:02:08] their tolerance and understanding especially in the Northern Territory

[00:02:13] where hills are recognized as enemies of truckies

[00:02:16] and the speed laws are almost as good as the roads

[00:02:19] And may I say the same about Queensland

[00:02:23] To all other lawmen I leave a waving hand

[00:02:26] but I add a slightly different finger and wrist action

[00:02:31] To the mayor of truck noise I leave a prepaid toll ticket

[00:02:34] for a truck and trailer since I know that even he would have

[00:02:38] a hard time paying the high tolls on that road

[00:02:42] To the dear old town of Booze Up I leave my gravel driveway

[00:02:46] so the towns people including the local copper

[00:02:48] can walk on it barefoot to remind themselves of their own roads

[00:02:52] which are not almost heaven

[00:02:55] To my wife also I leave a map of Australia so she can discover

[00:03:00] it really does take a day or two to cross two inches

[00:03:03] of the Northern Territory because this is a bloody big country

[00:03:08] To New South Wales I leave a recipe for coffee Ough

[00:03:13] Now to the truck stops who over price me on fuel I leave the hope

[00:03:17] that someday some stupid truck horn comes along in a truck horn

[00:03:21] big mack with a through hop trailer and flattens his bloody pumps

[00:03:27] And now to the mayor of brake squealing noise I leave one stone

[00:03:31] to be placed on his desk and under each paper which he has to sign

[00:03:36] which will make it as hard to write as it was to drive on his roads

[00:03:41] To all the good garages and dedicated shop foremen I leave a word of thanks

[00:03:45] for helping me to stay on the road even if it was only to pay their bill

[00:03:50] And to all the crooks at the bad garages I leave you the best of all

[00:03:54] I leave you the tourists

[00:03:57] To all the truck stops with little or no parking I leave the

[00:04:00] state of Victoria to be distributed in ten acre lots

[00:04:08] pubs that threw me out because of my language offensive behavior

[00:04:12] or indecent dress I leave the solemn hope that their beer turns to soap subs

[00:04:16] and all their drinkers riot and wreck the bloody place

[00:04:20] To all the mugs who pinched the gear of my truck when I was

[00:04:23] sound of car passing and sleeping in cab or the gutter nearby

[00:04:26] I leave the hope that their wife runs off with the local dirt collector

[00:04:30] Last but not least I leave to the government of Australia

[00:04:34] the firm hope that some leader some lawmaker somewhere will

[00:04:39] have the courage honesty and foresight to get his sound of car horn

[00:04:42] into gear and pass some legislation providing for uniform loading

[00:04:46] of trucks and seek other ways to ensure further rights for truckies everywhere

[00:04:52] And so being of unsound mind and worn out body I leave my last 7 00 to

[00:04:58] Truck and Bus magazine so my wife can read it and remember what a

[00:05:03] bloody good truckie she was married to and maybe miss me for another year