《虐汪萌段子》歌词

[00:00:00] 虐汪萌段子 - 李宝宝&王晓瑾
[00:00:19] 夫君
[00:00:21] 奴家觉得有点冷
[00:00:23] 那为夫去给你拿件披风
[00:00:25] 不 不用
[00:00:27] 呃奴家只是想起未出阁时
[00:00:30] 每次对娘亲说冷
[00:00:32] 娘亲都会抱紧奴家哦
[00:00:35] 你想岳母大人了
[00:00:37] 不是
[00:00:38] 那怀念未嫁时
[00:00:41] 抱我一下你会死啊
[00:00:43] 下次直说
[00:00:51] 夫君夫君
[00:00:52] 你知道么
[00:00:53] 竟有人说我们在一起
[00:00:55] 是鲜花插在牛粪上哦
[00:00:58] 闲言碎语
[00:00:59] 娘子莫放心上
[00:01:02] 奴家只是为夫君不平
[00:01:04] 夫君如此美貌
[00:01:05] 竟被比作牛粪
[00:01:07] 娘子他们所说的鲜花呢
[00:01:10] 其实是为夫
[00:01:12] 奴 奴家貌若天仙
[00:01:14] 却生生被夫君这一朵鲜花
[00:01:16] 衬作了牛粪
[00:01:23] 夫君夫君
[00:01:24] 听说县令把他的娘子给休了
[00:01:27] 然后呢
[00:01:28] 听说是因为嫌弃她娘子
[00:01:30] 如今不如初时好看了
[00:01:33] 然后呢
[00:01:34] 若有一天奴家变得不好看了
[00:01:37] 夫君你会不会也这般待奴家啊
[00:01:40] 娘子你多虑了
[00:01:42] 你其实从未好看过
[00:01:43] 为夫不也没嫌弃过你
[00:01:45] 哼 帮我收拾一下东西
[00:01:47] 等下我就要回娘家
[00:01:49] 哎 别
[00:01:50] 我开玩笑的
[00:01:54] 夫君夫君
[00:01:55] 我觉得你真的很好
[00:01:56] 很好
[00:01:57] 娘子你说的是
[00:02:00] 咳 夫君
[00:02:01] 做人要谦逊
[00:02:03] 为夫只知道做人要诚实
[00:02:06] 娘子哪来这许多红包
[00:02:08] 方才奴家出去转了一圈
[00:02:11] 大人们都热情的紧
[00:02:13] 硬是要塞给奴家
[00:02:15] 哦
[00:02:16] 大抵是以为
[00:02:17] 娘子还是个孩子吧
[00:02:19] 夫君怎知道
[00:02:21] 因为娘子平胸
[00:02:23] 显得格外年轻
[00:02:29] 夫君
[00:02:30] 你当初究竟是多么的英勇无敌
[00:02:32] 才能在千百壮士之中
[00:02:34] 一举抢得奴家抛出的绣球
[00:02:37] 娘子
[00:02:38] 其实为夫当时只是路过
[00:02:41] 实在是你手法精准
[00:02:43] 将绣球砸在了为夫手里
[00:02:46] 唉 夫君
[00:02:48] 奴家真的没有什么优点了么
[00:02:52] 娘子你唯一的优点
[00:02:53] 便是有眼光
[00:02:55] 哦如何有眼光
[00:02:57] 寻了为夫这般优秀的夫君
[00:03:03] 夫君 什么是真爱
[00:03:05] 真爱呢
[00:03:06] 就是为夫娶了你这样
[00:03:08] 蠢笨的娘子竟然没休
[00:03:12] 夫君回答问题便是
[00:03:14] 为何还顺带损奴家一把
[00:03:17] 如此才能表达出
[00:03:19] 为夫对娘子爱得深沉啊
[00:03:22] 夫君 过年好麻烦哦
[00:03:25] 奴家不喜欢过
[00:03:26] 娶你时更麻烦
[00:03:28] 为夫不还是一样得娶
[00:03:32] 夫君
[00:03:32] 娶奴家就一次
[00:03:35] 可春节年年都得过
[00:03:38] 再麻烦也就一年一次
[00:03:40] 娶了你是天天麻烦
[00:03:42] 哼
[00:03:43] 奴家闻到了嫌弃的味道
[00:03:45] 哟 鼻子真灵啊
[00:03:50] 夫君夫君
[00:03:51] 不知你瞧见了没有
[00:03:52] 方才楼下走过的那位姑娘
[00:03:54] 好生标志啊
[00:03:56] 看见了
[00:03:58] 并不觉得
[00:04:00] 夫君这般语气
[00:04:02] 亦觉得她不及奴家好看嘛
[00:04:05] 嗯 为夫自知
[00:04:06] 自喜欢上了你
[00:04:08] 为夫的审美已经扭曲
[00:04:10] 至今令人发指的地步
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