《小九老乐》歌词

[00:00:00] 小九老乐-赵本山&杨蕾

[00:00:02] （哼歌）

[00:00:26] 媳妇还不回来

[00:00:31] 赵老乐又做饭呢

[00:00:33] 做饭呢

[00:00:34] 你不做饭呢

[00:00:35] 你拉倒吧你怕老婆

[00:00:38] 啥叫怕老婆这叫夫妻感情

[00:00:40] 懂不

[00:00:42] 小样这点事都整不明白

[00:00:44] 还说风凉话呢

[00:00:47] 我跟你说这人不咋地

[00:00:48] 个外面装得挺好

[00:00:50] 回家就给媳妇洗脚

[00:00:52] 我怕老婆我怕老婆

[00:00:54] 我能背着老婆干那么大件事

[00:00:58] 不能跟你说嘴太快了哼

[00:01:02] 我给你介绍俺家情况

[00:01:03] 我媳妇

[00:01:04] 小名叫小九

[00:01:05] 纯牌我们家二把手

[00:01:07] 啥事我说定了

[00:01:08] 她马上举手

[00:01:09] 我说八她不说九我说没她不敢说有

[00:01:12] 我说你给我站着

[00:01:13] 她可以随便走

[00:01:43] 呀 有点靠前了

[00:01:53] 刚才我吹牛你都听着了

[00:01:57] 我这点毛病你不知道呗

[00:01:59] 就是痛快痛快嘴

[00:02:02] 这不你告诉我的要注意男子汉形象

[00:02:05] 对外可以孟吹回来看着你马上就dui

[00:02:13] 你看你究竟怎得了

[00:02:14] 你说话呀

[00:02:16] 我吧那点要做的不对的话

[00:02:18] 你这当领导的该批评就批评

[00:02:26] 我问你 指示

[00:02:31] 你最近是不是背着我干啥事了

[00:02:36] 嘿嘿你真能整

[00:02:39] 我还敢背你干啥事

[00:02:41] 没背我干啥事

[00:02:43] 我可告诉你啊

[00:02:44] 你可跟我说明白了

[00:02:46] 要不咱俩可没完

[00:02:48] 别媳妇安定团结才能治好家

[00:02:52] 你别跟我扯

[00:02:53] 说完算完事

[00:02:54] 来饭都凉了

[00:02:55] 说不说呀

[00:02:57] 说不说呀

[00:02:58] 来喝水

[00:02:59] 说不说呀

[00:03:00] 你看有啥话慢慢说吧

[00:03:02] 吵吵啥呀

[00:03:03] 你站住干啥去呀

[00:03:04] 我先躲一躲

[00:03:05] 你先消消火

[00:03:06] 你敢还没说完话呢

[00:03:09] 我不需答顾她

[00:03:10] 等一会消气了我还收拾不了她

[00:03:13] 回来

[00:03:17] 见笑了啊

[00:03:18] 嘿嘿哎呀

[00:03:32] 啊怕老婆

[00:03:35] 谁说怕老婆

[00:03:37] 我跟我跟你说

[00:03:41] 不是怕怕就是爱爱才能怕懂不嘿嘿

[00:03:47] 这个你怕老婆不（我还没老婆呢）

[00:03:50] 没老婆那说就没用了

[00:03:54] 是这么回事

[00:03:55] 前两天我个她手

[00:03:56] 拿出来五百块钱来

[00:03:58] 完事吧借给我原来那对象了嘿

[00:04:03] 不敢正事你照你你也不敢

[00:04:06] 这事不能说的事

[00:04:07] 老乐

[00:04:08] 那什么来了

[00:04:11] 老乐呀

[00:04:13] 喊啥呀

[00:04:14] 我出来跟邻居唠会嗑喊啥呀

[00:04:17] 回家吧饭菜都凉了

[00:04:19] 凉你再给我热回去吧

[00:04:34] 咱俩一块回行不

[00:04:35] 我叫你回去你就回去我说话还不算咋得

[00:04:39] 现在我的这气还没消呢

[00:04:40] 我回去了我不还不得往出撵你吗

[00:04:45] 回去

[00:04:48] 你看大伙都见笑了

[00:04:50] 我们老乐平常脾气可大了

[00:04:52] 我可怕他了是不老乐

[00:04:55] 这事最好别跟大伙说

[00:04:59] 回去吧

[00:05:01] 今儿不是给你过生日吗

[00:05:02] 明天过

[00:05:05] 明不过期了

[00:05:06] 啊过期就作废了（回去吧）

[00:05:09] 回去

[00:05:10] 你看你以后出来别扎围裙

[00:05:13] 等我回来做饭

[00:05:14] 你看你吧一到吃饭的时候就给我系这玩意

[00:05:17] 衣服埋不住 没办法

[00:05:25] 你就这点不好

[00:05:28] 衣服埋汰太挤

[00:05:29] 让大伙作笑

[00:05:31] 好像

[00:05:35] 嘿嘿

[00:05:39] 行呀你呀

[00:05:40] 真够意思

[00:05:42] 出息了是不

[00:05:43] 你给我坐那

[00:05:45] 哈哈哈哈哈

[00:05:51] 嘿嘿差点没做地上

[00:05:52] 嘿嘿

[00:05:57] 哈哈

[00:06:00] 媳妇别笑啊

[00:06:03] 我心里没底

[00:06:08] 过来过来呀

[00:06:14] 干啥呀四根蜡

[00:06:17] 今儿你不四岁吗

[00:06:20] 四十了嘿

[00:06:22] 哎点蜡过生日

[00:06:25] 哎哟别烧了媳妇

[00:06:27]

[00:06:37] 来不生气了啊

[00:06:39] 两口子还真生气呀

[00:06:42] 今你不是过生日吗 对

[00:06:45] 我敬你一杯

[00:06:46] 不今儿呀我敬你敬我

[00:06:51] 我祝你喝酒啊

[00:06:54] 生日快乐

[00:06:56] 媳妇还挺能整的词

[00:06:57] 还祝我生日快乐....

[00:07:06] 吹吹

[00:07:08] 一盅一盅喝

[00:07:09] 吹不行

[00:07:10] 我让你吹蜡烛

[00:07:12] 嘿嘿呀媳妇呀媳妇这够档的还整个洋事

[00:07:19] 一口气吹灭

[00:07:23] 哎哟

[00:07:25] 吹过界了

[00:07:31] 乐儿

[00:07:31] 啊

[00:07:32] 你说

[00:07:36] 咱俩结婚这些年

[00:07:38] 我对你咋样呀

[00:07:40] 你咋突然说这话呢

[00:07:42] 啥也不说都在酒里

[00:07:45] 哎你说乐儿，

[00:07:46] 我咋有啥话都跟你说

[00:07:49] 那就对了 跟别人说那不出事了

[00:07:52] 那你呢

[00:07:53] 啥话呀那都跟媳妇说那还叫老爷们呀

[00:07:55] 啥

[00:07:57] 啥话都给媳妇说那才叫老爷们呢

[00:08:02] 你别拿我当傻子

[00:08:04] 你跟我说实话 说啥

[00:08:07] 那五百块钱你到底借给谁了

[00:08:10] 我不给你说了吗

[00:08:12] 我就借老姨家那二白糊了吗

[00:08:15] 你拉倒吧你呀

[00:08:17] 我今天进城见二白糊了

[00:08:19] 二白糊咋说

[00:08:20] 根本没那回事

[00:08:21] 他真能嗅白糊

[00:08:23] 你说这小子够意思不

[00:08:24] 我都跟他定好啦

[00:08:25] 我说这钱哪

[00:08:26] 如果我媳妇要来问你的话

[00:08:28] 你千万千万就说借你了

[00:08:30] 要不然

[00:08:30] 编（完了）编好

[00:08:33] 别出差啊你给我说实施

[00:08:38] 那钱到底借谁了

[00:08:42] 说不说呀

[00:08:45] 菜整咸了

[00:08:51] 快点吃饭呀

[00:08:52] 起来

[00:08:54] 出去你咋这样呢

[00:08:55] 说急眼就急眼你这脾气

[00:08:57] 你说这都干啥呀

[00:08:59] 哎呀

[00:09:02] 九儿九

[00:09:03] 开门九儿九

[00:09:09] 有啥话咱直接对话吧行不

[00:09:11] 你没诚意我跟你对啥话呀

[00:09:13] 我告诉你啊你今天要不说实话

[00:09:16] 你就别想进这门

[00:09:19] 不进就不进，进不进门看谁开门

[00:09:28] 哈哈哈哈哈

[00:09:30] 老乐大哥这大半夜个外面站着干啥呢

[00:09:35] 那什么我媳妇没在家把钥匙锁屋了进不来

[00:09:39] 那好走吧上俺家去吧

[00:09:41] 别忙等一会不开门我再去

[00:09:43] 过来干啥玩意

[00:09:45] 多长时间没见面了我这来呀

[00:10:01] 你就别开门呀

[00:10:03] 行你就给我装神弄鬼你给我演戏吧

[00:10:06] 我 要不这样整你还不开门

[00:10:10] 行我看出来了你今天是不打算给我说实话了

[00:10:14] 是不

[00:10:16] 我告诉你啊

[00:10:18] 你不说实施

[00:10:21] 我也知道

[00:10:22] 你就诈吧

[00:10:23] 我诈你干啥

[00:10:24] 我今进城干啥去了

[00:10:26] 干啥去了

[00:10:28] 钱都要回来了

[00:10:31] 你真上她们家去了

[00:10:33] 我去了，那我 的钱我不要啊

[00:10:37] 你是不是有点过分了

[00:10:39] 谁过分我过分你过分哪

[00:10:42] 你呗

[00:10:43] 我都跟你说一百遍了你说我俩是处过一段

[00:10:47] 那能怎么

[00:10:47] 她有困难咱就不能帮一把吗，啊

[00:10:51] 她老爷们在部队你说孩子个家有病了

[00:10:55] 冲我借五百块钱我能不借吗

[00:10:57] 你怎么能要去呢

[00:10:59] 是人干的事吗你

[00:11:00] 那你干啥不跟我明说呀

[00:11:02] 我不告你了吗

[00:11:03] 你不管啥事你得跟我说句实话呀

[00:11:05] 我不害怕吗

[00:11:06] 你心里没鬼你怕啥呀

[00:11:08] 我不怕你心眼小吗

[00:11:09] 我心眼比你大

[00:11:10] 没事你老瞎合计

[00:11:12] 你不说我才瞎合计

[00:11:13] 你一瞎合计你老发脾气

[00:11:15] 你发脾气你连掐带拧的

[00:11:18] 这我都能忍是不

[00:11:20] 我就怕你犯这个头疼病

[00:11:21] 你脑袋一疼不吃饭不睡觉

[00:11:23] 大把大把竟吃药

[00:11:25] 有时候头还往墙上撞

[00:11:27] 我瞅着不着急吗

[00:11:29] 再者说了十多年了

[00:11:30] 你说我对你什么样你还不知道

[00:11:33] 我告诉你啊

[00:11:34] 就因为你有这头号痛病平时我不爱理你

[00:11:37] 干啥呀

[00:11:38] 你

[00:11:39] 凶人你

[00:11:46] 老乐呀老乐

[00:11:50] 你说我跟你过了这么多年了

[00:11:53] 我疼着你我护着你我 一副心地跟你过日子

[00:12:01] 那 那我咋就连句实话我也得不来呢

[00:12:08] 我告诉你啊你就到现在也没明白我是咋样一个人

[00:12:20] （哭声）

[00:12:28] 干啥呢

[00:12:30] 哭啥呀

[00:12:33] 我也没说啥呀

[00:12:33] 你说我这 哎呀

[00:12:37] 别哭了啊

[00:12:40] 哭啥呀

[00:12:42] 这不别哭了

[00:12:45] 我错了（你咋就不懂人家心呢）

[00:12:47] 别哭了不哭了

[00:12:50] 一会脑袋哭疼了啊

[00:12:51] 算了不哭了啊我错了行吧

[00:12:54] 别哭了

[00:12:55] 一会犯病就完了

[00:12:56] 哭啥呀

[00:12:57] 不哭了啊

[00:12:59] 你去干啥呀

[00:13:01] 把我外套取过来

[00:13:03] 取外套干啥呀

[00:13:04] 我上她家去

[00:13:05] 你还有完没完了你呀啊

[00:13:07] 我都跟你说一百遍了

[00:13:09] 你去她家干啥去

[00:13:10] 这不是逼我犯错误了嘛你

[00:13:13] 这不完了嘛

[00:13:14] 犯大错误了人家那是军婚哪你呀

[00:13:16] 你说你 咋得

[00:13:23] 你看你那样

[00:13:25] 嘿哈哈

[00:13:27] 笑啥玩意呀你去呀

[00:13:29] 我告诉你吧

[00:13:31] 那钱我根本没去要

[00:13:35] 真的假的

[00:13:36] 傻样

[00:13:37] 就看你跟不跟我说实话了嘿嘿

[00:13:41] 去给我拿点鸡蛋我去看她去

[00:13:44] 是真心话吗

[00:13:45] 我多lai骗过你呀

[00:13:47] 哎呀妈呀哎呀哎呀哎呀

[00:13:58] 别哎呀了

[00:13:59] 走

[00:14:00] 今天个家过生日吧

[00:14:02] 明天起早上医院看她去行不

[00:14:05] 那也行

[00:14:07] 现在根据你的表现我奖励你一件好事

[00:14:10] 啥事

[00:14:11] 把洗脚盆端进来

[00:14:13] 哎这工作好不受年龄限制干到一百岁也不能退休