《算你运气好!》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:02] 呃
[00:00:06] 绿色墨这小孩儿吧
[00:00:26] 看见了不干净的东西啊
[00:00:27] 这大人啊
[00:00:28] 千万呢
[00:00:29] 别不当回事儿
[00:00:30] 但是呢
[00:00:30] 也别太当回事儿了
[00:00:32] 对吧
[00:00:33] 我有个朋友呢
[00:00:34] 说小时候啊
[00:00:35] 看见有两个人在空调上和家里人说空调上有两个人
[00:00:39] A 把家里人吓得够呛
[00:00:41] 这又是请大神
[00:00:43] 又是请半仙儿的一顿忙活啊
[00:00:45] 可是问他的时候呢
[00:00:46] 他说还能看见那两个小孩儿
[00:00:49] 后来吧
[00:00:50] 因为这个事儿呢
[00:00:51] 把房子给卖了
[00:00:52] 家居家电都不要了
[00:00:54] 长大之后吧
[00:00:54] 他家人才知道
[00:00:56] 空调上那两个小孩儿是海尔兄弟
[00:01:00] 他爸差点没把他给打死啊
[00:01:05] 墨子
[00:01:11] 只记得有一天吧
[00:01:12] 我去吃饭
[00:01:14] 当时呢
[00:01:15] 我肚子疼起来了
[00:01:16] 但是我们这一层楼呢
[00:01:17] 没有厕所啊
[00:01:19] 就只有旁边火锅店的二楼那有厕所
[00:01:21] 当时呢
[00:01:22] 我就找到那里边儿去上厕所了
[00:01:24] 我当时也没有看见门口写着正在维修啊啊
[00:01:27] 我就在一阵噼里啪啦的那个
[00:01:30] 嗯粪便之后呢
[00:01:32] 我下楼啊
[00:01:33] 就看到本来是满满都是人的火锅店
[00:01:37] 却空无一人了
[00:01:38] 我就看到有一个服务生呢
[00:01:40] 就从桌下爬了出来
[00:01:42] 我问她怎么回事儿啊
[00:01:43] 这服务生说
[00:01:44] 哎
[00:01:45] 兄弟
[00:01:45] 刚才楼上有大便落到店那个电风扇上
[00:01:49] 被打得满天飞的时候你不在啊
[00:01:51] 那算你运气好啊
[00:01:54] 来你看看这到处都是屎谁是
[00:01:59] 我兄弟可以永远相信礼物不送温暖
[00:02:04] 碰到失业好兄弟
[00:02:06] 就记得我们以前在上课的时候吧
[00:02:08] 老师呢在课堂上提问
[00:02:10] 说一公斤的棉花和一公斤的铁哪个重
[00:02:15] 有一个同学呢
[00:02:16] 就回答说
[00:02:16] 铁中老师说
[00:02:17] 回答错误啊
[00:02:19] 说都是一公斤
[00:02:21] 当然是一样重啊
[00:02:22] 哎
[00:02:22] 我这位这位同学呢
[00:02:23] 就说一公斤的棉花和一公斤的铁
[00:02:26] 同时从十楼掉下来
[00:02:28] 请问一下老师
[00:02:29] 您敢站在哪个下边儿
[00:02:31] H
[00:02:32] 我觉得很有道理啊
[00:02:34] 请你不要再跟他耍
[00:02:37] 我不会放过你
[00:02:40] 你要好自为之
[00:02:42] 因为我现在开车回来
[00:02:47] 有一位朋友呢
[00:02:48] 跟我说啊
[00:02:49] 跟朋友呢
[00:02:49] 去吃自助餐
[00:02:50] 结果拿的太多
[00:02:52] 没吃了
[00:02:52] 剩的太多了
[00:02:54] 一个五大三粗的服务生过来对我们说
[00:02:56] 如果吃不完造成大麻烦的
[00:02:59] 会啊
[00:03:00] 我们就很生气啊
[00:03:01] 但是呢
[00:03:01] 还是硬塞进去了
[00:03:03] 都塞到脖子眼儿了啊
[00:03:04] 吃完之后吧
[00:03:05] 就问那个服务员说
[00:03:06] A
[00:03:07] 你说说
[00:03:08] 我们要是不吃饭会有什么麻烦呀
[00:03:11] 啊
[00:03:11] 这个服务员呢
[00:03:11] 就柔柔地说了一句
[00:03:13] 呃
[00:03:13] 会对国家的粮食造成损失和浪费
[00:03:18] 点球要看清楚
[00:03:21] 你是我的好朋友
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