《水浒全传012集》歌词

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[00:00:01] 鲁达

[00:00:03] 在五台山文殊院

[00:00:06] 落发为僧

[00:00:10] 把脑瓜P 了个倍儿亮

[00:00:13] 从这开始

[00:00:15] 鲁达就叫鲁智深

[00:00:21] 你这名儿是他的法号

[00:00:24] 然后又举行法事

[00:00:28] 哎呀

[00:00:29] 鲁智深心说感情

[00:00:31] 吃哪行饭也不容易

[00:00:35] 过去我没接触过和尚不懂得这里的规矩

[00:00:41] 感情这里边的事儿

[00:00:42] 老了

[00:00:44] 有些事儿让人啼笑皆非

[00:00:49] 忙活了两个时辰

[00:00:52] 收弟子的仪式这才结束

[00:00:56] 然后油煎四把它领下去

[00:01:00] 沐浴更衣

[00:01:02] 脑袋也剃了

[00:01:04] 衣服得换呢

[00:01:06] 俗家的衣服不行

[00:01:07] 从里往外

[00:01:10] 这回鲁智深

[00:01:12] 里边是灰不生机

[00:01:15] 胖哇云铝

[00:01:18] 外边披着袈裟

[00:01:20] 嗯

[00:01:21] 他把俩胳膊竖起来看了看

[00:01:24] 嗯

[00:01:24] 这玩意儿不错呀

[00:01:25] 穿着挺得劲

[00:01:28] 二次回来拜见老师

[00:01:31] 接下来次斋饭

[00:01:35] 从这儿开始不行动婚像

[00:01:38] 嗯

[00:01:40] 都得吃素的

[00:01:41] 嗯

[00:01:43] 可照原文一看

[00:01:45] 一切就绪

[00:01:46] 安排妥帖了

[00:01:49] 家里的一大堆事儿

[00:01:51] 不能再久留了

[00:01:53] 这才提出向老方丈辞行

[00:01:58] 老方丈也是恋恋不舍

[00:02:01] 一看去意已决

[00:02:03] 也不便挽留了

[00:02:05] 临行之时啊

[00:02:07] 赵员外跟老方丈说

[00:02:10] 老当家的我这个表弟

[00:02:13] 军汉出身

[00:02:14] 性情粗暴

[00:02:17] 初入佛门

[00:02:19] 不懂得规矩

[00:02:21] 万一有个闪失

[00:02:23] 万望老人家高抬贵手

[00:02:27] 看在我薄面之上

[00:02:29] 多加原谅

[00:02:32] 老和尚点点头

[00:02:34] 谭月尽管放心

[00:02:37] 老僧知道

[00:02:40] 这赵员外真是场面人儿

[00:02:43] 比方说给手做监寺都寺知客书记

[00:02:48] 这

[00:02:49] 这都是当头儿的和尚

[00:02:51] 每人都送了一份礼物

[00:02:54] 让他们关照鲁达鲁智深

[00:02:58] 交代完了

[00:03:00] 又把鲁智深叫到没人的地方

[00:03:03] 压低了声音

[00:03:06] 恩公

[00:03:07] 我要走了

[00:03:09] 我最不放心的

[00:03:12] 就是您的脾气秉性

[00:03:15] 您跟过去不一样了

[00:03:17] 现在是佛门弟子

[00:03:20] 理应谨守三宝的佛归呀

[00:03:25] 你放心

[00:03:27] 虽然我不在文殊院

[00:03:29] 春夏秋冬四季的衣服

[00:03:33] 你的零花钱

[00:03:35] 你的一切一切

[00:03:36] 全包在我身上

[00:03:38] 如果我有空就来看你

[00:03:42] 你有哪些困难

[00:03:43] 尽管命人去给我捎信儿

[00:03:47] 哎呀

[00:03:48] 好心人呐

[00:03:50] 我这就感恩不尽

[00:03:54] 你放心

[00:03:55] 晒甲从此往后变成另外一个人了

[00:04:00] 一定谨守佛门的规矩

[00:04:03] 也就是了

[00:04:04] 哎

[00:04:05] 那就好

[00:04:06] 那就好

[00:04:07] 那保重吧

[00:04:08] 我告辞

[00:04:11] 哎呀

[00:04:11] 临行之时

[00:04:12] 鲁智深把他送到山门外

[00:04:16] 眼含痛泪

[00:04:17] 挥手告别

[00:04:20] 赵员外做成轿子

[00:04:22] 带着仆人们走了

[00:04:24] 鲁智深回到文殊院

[00:04:28] 有只克地合上

[00:04:30] 领着他前院后院儿转悠转悠

[00:04:34] 你得熟悉熟悉环境

[00:04:37] 哪是大雄宝殿

[00:04:40] 哪是三世佛殿

[00:04:42] 哪是观音殿

[00:04:44] 哪是地藏殿

[00:04:47] 还有什么念经的经堂啊

[00:04:51] 甚至吃饭的伙房、厕所都交代地清清楚楚

[00:04:59] 最后把她领到文殊院紧后边儿这一层院子

[00:05:05] 这院里还栽着不少的数目

[00:05:08] 环境清幽啊

[00:05:11] 一拉溜

[00:05:12] 有时间房子推门进去一看呢

[00:05:16] 这里边有100多和少

[00:05:20] 正在这五心朝天

[00:05:23] 闭目养神

[00:05:25] 练习打坐的功夫

[00:05:29] 原来

[00:05:30] 刚入文殊院的第一目的功课就得在这儿完成

[00:05:36] 你喝什么

[00:05:38] 必须得做

[00:05:40] 这个做工可要命啊

[00:05:43] 哎

[00:05:43] 这就是佛门所说的禅功

[00:05:47] 也叫做禅

[00:05:50] 一般的人腿发硬要不会盘腿

[00:05:53] 可要了命比上刑都难受

[00:05:59] 塘头僧赶紧迎接

[00:06:02] 监寺告诉

[00:06:03] 给他找个床位

[00:06:06] 能没有空地方吗

[00:06:08] 就这样给他加了一张床

[00:06:10] 放了一个蒲团

[00:06:13] 坚持告诉他

[00:06:15] 指什么

[00:06:15] 从今以后

[00:06:18] 你就在这块儿做工

[00:06:21] 所用的东西都放在床下

[00:06:24] 有什么事儿要请示塘头僧大师兄

[00:06:30] 他不答应的事儿

[00:06:31] 不准你办H 晒呀

[00:06:34] 明白了

[00:06:36] 等一切的事儿过后

[00:06:38] 到了晚上

[00:06:40] 鲁智深就感觉到腰酸腿疼

[00:06:44] 脑袋嗡嗡直响啊

[00:06:48] 先说这个麻烦

[00:06:50] 都要把我抖了

[00:06:51] 散架子了

[00:06:53] 好好的睡它一觉

[00:06:57] 人家都在那儿坐着

[00:06:58] 打禅练坐功

[00:07:00] 他可好

[00:07:02] 把风鞋脱了

[00:07:04] 仰面朝天往床上一瘫

[00:07:07] 哎哟哎哟

[00:07:08] 哎哟

[00:07:10] 我摔了

[00:07:13] 塘头僧一看像话吗

[00:07:17] 哪有出家人四脚朝天往这儿一躺

[00:07:22] 塘头生

[00:07:23] 赶紧过来

[00:07:24] 阿弥陀佛

[00:07:27] 置身不可做起来

[00:07:30] 打馋得练坐功

[00:07:33] 你没看见吗

[00:07:34] 都在这儿坐着呢

[00:07:36] 谁家困了

[00:07:38] 我要睡觉

[00:07:39] 不行

[00:07:41] 要想睡觉也得坐着睡

[00:07:43] 别人什么样你什么样

[00:07:46] 鲁智深把眼睛一瞪

[00:07:48] 胡说

[00:07:50] 我今儿个特别难受

[00:07:52] 我就是想躺着睡觉

[00:07:55] 我不懂你们这儿的规矩

[00:07:58] 说完

[00:07:59] 他不理唐僧的

[00:08:01] 把头一歪

[00:08:03] 时间不大

[00:08:04] 是鼻息如雷呀

[00:08:06] 呼呼的睡了

[00:08:09] 那100多盒上瞅着他直咧嘴

[00:08:13] 心说怎么收了这么个野鸟儿

[00:08:17] 这是什么玩意儿

[00:08:19] 有他在这一带头儿

[00:08:21] 整个这屋不就乱套了

[00:08:24] He

[00:08:25] 大伙儿敢怒而不敢言

[00:08:28] 第二天呢

[00:08:30] 塘头僧把这事儿应屏到首座

[00:08:34] 首座是文殊院的二把手

[00:08:38] 仅次于老方丈智真呢

[00:08:41] 不敢跟咱们老说

[00:08:43] 跟首座说

[00:08:44] 这鲁智深什么玩意儿

[00:08:47] 头一天就破坏佛门的规矩

[00:08:49] 躺着睡觉

[00:08:52] 手作晃晃脑袋算啦

[00:08:56] 你还不知道吗

[00:08:58] 他是老方丈的红人

[00:09:02] 当家的对他格外的偏爱

[00:09:07] 这鸡毛蒜皮的事儿就甭说了

[00:09:10] 他爱怎么地怎么地吧

[00:09:12] 打这之后

[00:09:14] 人家别人都练坐功

[00:09:17] 唯有他躺着睡觉

[00:09:20] 这鲁智深也太有点儿不拘小节

[00:09:24] 你要和衣而卧不影响旁人还行

[00:09:28] 在外不去热了

[00:09:31] 脱个走邮拿大光杆儿

[00:09:35] 让别人观之不雅呀

[00:09:38] 另外

[00:09:38] 不管什么时候

[00:09:41] 他起来是大山大叫

[00:09:43] 大说

[00:09:43] 大笑

[00:09:45] 走路的脚步也中

[00:09:48] 最使人讨厌的事

[00:09:51] 那厕所离得远

[00:09:54] 他有时候就不去赚子坐公堂后面跑着便秘

[00:10:01] 被人家发现之后啊

[00:10:03] 禀报手作手作一看

[00:10:05] 这像话吗

[00:10:06] 这是清净禅林哪有随便拉屎尿尿的

[00:10:11] 屏霸了牢房

[00:10:13] 老方丈微微皱眉

[00:10:16] 哎

[00:10:18] 他不懂清规

[00:10:21] 这也无需大惊小怪

[00:10:24] 他随便儿吧

[00:10:26] 你派两个小和尚给他收拾收拾不就得了吗

[00:10:30] 啊嘿

[00:10:33] 还带福寺大小便的歌

[00:10:36] 老当家的说话谁敢不听

[00:10:39] 哎

[00:10:40] 这炉子谁随便

[00:10:43] 书说简短

[00:10:44] 光阴似箭

[00:10:46] 日月如梭

[00:10:49] 到入冬的季节

[00:10:51] 这天一天比一天冷啊

[00:10:54] 鲁智深实在觉得太枯燥、太烦闷了

[00:11:02] 这一天

[00:11:03] 吃完了饭

[00:11:04] 他出了山门

[00:11:06] 登高眺望五台山地景致

[00:11:11] 这一看

[00:11:11] 那树叶都落了

[00:11:14] 4 Y 也是一片荒凉

[00:11:18] 不由得心里头一阵的难过

[00:11:21] 嗯

[00:11:23] 像我鲁达

[00:11:26] 乃是皮霞关哪

[00:11:29] 只因打死人命

[00:11:32] 逃门在外

[00:11:34] 直落成这般模样

[00:11:37] 人不人

[00:11:38] 鬼不鬼

[00:11:39] 纯属是个怪物

[00:11:42] 我怎么能出家呢

[00:11:45] Shou j 号窝囊气

[00:11:48] 好在呢

[00:11:49] 老方丈对我格外开恩

[00:11:54] 有些事儿只要发现是我干的

[00:11:58] 也就算过去了

[00:12:00] 这老师还不错

[00:12:03] 但有一样不让开荤竟吃素

[00:12:08] 这玩意儿真叫人受不了

[00:12:11] 这吃素哪有吃肉香

[00:12:14] 嗯

[00:12:16] 就拿我来说吧

[00:12:18] 多少年来大碗喝酒

[00:12:20] 大口吃肉啊

[00:12:22] 冷不丁地冷

[00:12:23] 不叫吃谁受得了啊

[00:12:28] 前些时

[00:12:29] 赵员外偷偷摸摸的还给我送点婚纱

[00:12:34] 最近能有半个多月没给我送吃的

[00:12:39] 简直我这身上都冒清水了都

[00:12:43] 哎

[00:12:45] 太馋了

[00:12:48] 他胡思乱想

[00:12:50] 一看

[00:12:51] 山门外半山腰有一座八角凉亭

[00:12:57] 他上山那会儿还在这凉亭休息过

[00:13:01] 就这样的信步走进凉亭

[00:13:05] 往石墩上一座

[00:13:07] 抱着磕膝盖胡思乱想

[00:13:10] 嗨

[00:13:11] 你说巧不巧

[00:13:13] 正这时候

[00:13:15] 有一个送酒的人唱着山歌儿来

[00:13:21] 鲁智深啊

[00:13:22] 这鼻子也好使

[00:13:24] 离得多远

[00:13:25] 他就闻着这九箱了

[00:13:27] 赶紧把眼睛睁开了

[00:13:31] 一看这小伙儿呢

[00:13:32] 有二十七八岁

[00:13:34] 挑着挑

[00:13:35] 前后俩盘子都封着

[00:13:40] 一里地系着围裙

[00:13:42] 可能经常上山

[00:13:44] 健步如飞

[00:13:48] 这条子合成

[00:13:49] 合成合成

[00:13:49] 嘎吱嘎吱

[00:13:50] 嘎吱嘎吱的代表了

[00:13:53] 这小伙一边唱着

[00:13:55] 一边奔文殊院

[00:13:57] 哎哟

[00:14:00] 鲁智深一看是心花怒放的

[00:14:03] 赶紧站起来

[00:14:05] 施主

[00:14:07] 卖酒的你过来

[00:14:09] 你过来

[00:14:10] 其实它不叫这个人儿也得上梁平来歇歇腿儿

[00:14:16] 何况叫着呢

[00:14:18] 这小伙儿

[00:14:19] 把这酒挑啊

[00:14:20] 就挑进凉亭往旁边一放

[00:14:24] 师傅

[00:14:25] 什么事儿

[00:14:26] 哎哎哎

[00:14:29] 我说你这里边装的是什么

[00:14:32] 好久嘿

[00:14:35] 想什么来什么

[00:14:37] 卖给我一潭子怎么样

[00:14:40] 这小伙上下打量打量鲁智深

[00:14:44] 我师父

[00:14:46] 你不是说梦话

[00:14:48] 要不你就是没睡醒

[00:14:50] 撒昵称吧

[00:14:53] 你既是五台山文殊院的和尚

[00:14:56] 你就应该懂这里规矩

[00:15:00] 连我这不是出家人我全都懂啊

[00:15:04] 这第四届就是不要贪酒开荤呢

[00:15:10] 你怎么又犯清规

[00:15:12] 再者一说了

[00:15:13] 我们这卖酒的都归文殊院馆

[00:15:18] 住的是文殊院的房子

[00:15:20] 中的是文殊院

[00:15:21] 弟弟连我们做小买卖都使的是文殊院的本钱

[00:15:28] 真长老一再交代

[00:15:31] 这酒绝不能给和尚he

[00:15:34] 如果我们投了卖给和尚

[00:15:37] 要收回我们的房子的

[00:15:40] 还要把我们送到官府治罪

[00:15:44] 饭碗砸就砸了

[00:15:46] 我大和尚

[00:15:47] 你这不没事拿我寻开心吗

[00:15:51] 你是诚心试验试验我还是怎么的

[00:15:54] 哎呀

[00:15:56] 我这位大哥

[00:15:58] 我是诚心实意

[00:16:01] 老实跟你说

[00:16:02] 我出家不久我就喜欢喝酒啊

[00:16:06] 这样睁一眼

[00:16:08] 闭着一眼

[00:16:09] 你行个方便

[00:16:11] 卖给我一坛子

[00:16:12] 要多少钱我给多少钱

[00:16:15] 不行不行

[00:16:16] 不行

[00:16:17] 明明就给我万两黄金

[00:16:20] 我也不能砸我的饭碗

[00:16:22] 我走了

[00:16:25] 这位说着话漂起漂了

[00:16:27] 转身要走

[00:16:28] 鲁智深能放他走

[00:16:30] 一伸手把那漂子绳都攥住了

[00:16:34] 说什么也不撒开

[00:16:36] 这小伙子也走不了了

[00:16:38] 鲁智深嬉皮笑脸

[00:16:41] 啊

[00:16:41] 大哥

[00:16:43] 卖给我一谈就得了呗

[00:16:45] 你知我知

[00:16:47] 别人谁知道

[00:16:48] 不行不行

[00:16:49] 你说死我也不能干

[00:16:52] 那我请问你

[00:16:54] 你既然这酒不卖

[00:16:56] 又不准合成喝酒

[00:16:58] 你

[00:16:59] 你给谁送去

[00:17:01] 那文殊院有谁能喝这两茬子酒

[00:17:05] 哎呀

[00:17:06] 我喝着

[00:17:07] 你真不明白

[00:17:08] 你还没看见呢

[00:17:10] 文殊院里不光是和尚

[00:17:13] 还有不少打杂的俗家呢

[00:17:16] 你想俗家可以喝呀

[00:17:18] 我这是卖给他们

[00:17:21] 他们能喝我就能喝

[00:17:24] 俩人争来争去

[00:17:26] 鲁智深这火爆的脾气

[00:17:28] 上来哪怕一巴掌

[00:17:31] 他觉得没使劲

[00:17:33] 这卖酒你可受不了

[00:17:35] 嗷一嗓子摔出溜过去

[00:17:38] 蹲那起不来了

[00:17:41] 打得眼花缭乱

[00:17:43] 蒙灯转向

[00:17:44] 摸了摸

[00:17:46] 门牙都活动了

[00:17:48] 心说

[00:17:49] 好厉害的书生啊

[00:17:53] 鲁智深利用这机会搬了一坛子酒

[00:17:57] 把封盖儿去掉

[00:17:59] 踢鼻子

[00:17:59] 先闻闻

[00:18:02] 好久好久啊

[00:18:06] 一看旁边还挂着个小瓢

[00:18:08] 他把瓢摘下来

[00:18:11] 左一飘又一飘

[00:18:12] 嘣嘣嘣嘣嘣嘣嘣嘣嘣嘣

[00:18:16] 越喝越想越喝越过瘾

[00:18:19] 后来呀

[00:18:20] 瓢崴不上来了

[00:18:21] 干脆把瓢扔了

[00:18:23] 把摊子包起来

[00:18:25] 嘴对嘴长流水

[00:18:27] 蹲蹲蹲蹲蹲蹲蹲

[00:18:31] 在一滩子15 斤

[00:18:33] 一口气儿全呵

[00:18:37] 哎哟呵

[00:18:38] DJ 过瘾劲儿就甭提了喝完了

[00:18:41] 手一滑

[00:18:42] 啪嚓把摊子给打了

[00:18:46] 卖酒的小伙只咧嘴洋洋

[00:18:48] 哭爷爷哭爷爷

[00:18:51] 今天我算遇上恶人了

[00:18:53] 这哪行啊

[00:18:54] 我被禀报长老G 不可

[00:18:58] 所幸呢

[00:18:59] 还剩一坛子

[00:19:01] 这位跟头趔趄

[00:19:03] 抱着坛子酒烈着扁担挑他跑了

[00:19:08] 他走了不说

[00:19:10] 但是说鲁智深

[00:19:12] 他明知道犯了清规

[00:19:15] 媳妇

[00:19:16] 我先别回去

[00:19:17] 我在这儿休息休息

[00:19:20] 多咱这酒劲儿过去了

[00:19:23] 我再回庙

[00:19:25] 就这样

[00:19:26] 他坐到石头蹲子上闭目养神

[00:19:29] 哪知道这酒真好

[00:19:32] 后反劲儿

[00:19:34] 刚才喝的时候儿没觉得怎么样

[00:19:38] 时间不大

[00:19:39] 这酒就上了头了

[00:19:43] 嗯

[00:19:45] 头重脚轻

[00:19:47] 热血沸腾

[00:19:50] 他心里就开了锅了

[00:19:53] 她在这儿忍了一个时辰

[00:19:55] 不但没过劲儿

[00:19:57] 越来越来劲儿

[00:20:00] 他那天要软了

[00:20:03] 鲁智深心说

[00:20:04] 回庙歇着去了

[00:20:05] 睡一觉明儿就好了

[00:20:08] 哪知道一站起来

[00:20:09] 身子一摘

[00:20:10] 歪摔了个跟头

[00:20:12] 这一跟他摔的不要紧

[00:20:14] 摔碎了

[00:20:17] 在看鲁智深摇摇晃晃跟高联系

[00:20:22] 越走心里越发热情

[00:20:25] 你大娘的

[00:20:28] 他把衣服脱了

[00:20:29] 光穿个裤子

[00:20:30] 光着膀子

[00:20:32] 把风一网一里头1 G 啊

[00:20:37] 哎呀

[00:20:38] 累瘫子

[00:20:40] 我怎么没喝

[00:20:42] 要喝了能顶一个月

[00:20:45] 哈哈哈

[00:20:48] 迈着大步往里闯

[00:20:50] 就来到山门

[00:20:54] 山门外有把门的两个值日生

[00:21:00] 这直增往下一看呵

[00:21:04] 这不鲁智深吗

[00:21:05] 喝醉了

[00:21:07] 离这么远就闻着酒气了

[00:21:09] 哎哟

[00:21:10] 这还了得

[00:21:12] 老方丈一再交代

[00:21:15] 出家人如果开荤洞九

[00:21:19] 这饭茄清规是绝对不能容忍凹出饭也得揍40 扁子

[00:21:28] 我们就是管这个的

[00:21:30] 假和尚商量一下

[00:21:32] 回去把竹杖取出来了

[00:21:36] 把鲁智深给拦住

[00:21:38] 断喝一声

[00:21:39] 哎

[00:21:41] 鲁智深

[00:21:42] 你好大的胆子

[00:21:44] 你竟敢吃酒带醉

[00:21:47] 这还了得吗

[00:21:49] 属揍着打

[00:21:53] 这二位也不值得深浅

[00:21:56] 他们也不知道鲁智深地比

[00:22:01] 今儿个可捅娄子了

[00:22:04] 鲁智深

[00:22:05] 一个没注意

[00:22:07] 挨了一驻扎正宵的后背上

[00:22:11] 那玩意儿挺疼啊

[00:22:12] 这下子打击了

[00:22:15] 哇呀呀

[00:22:18] 好秃驴啊

[00:22:20] 你们敢打我

[00:22:23] 其实他本身也是个秃子

[00:22:25] 骂别人还是秃驴

[00:22:27] 伸手把竹杖抢过来往磕膝盖上一遍卡吧

[00:22:33] 把竹杖给掰折回手

[00:22:36] 一拳正打在小河上

[00:22:38] 后背上

[00:22:39] 把小和尚打得嗷了一声

[00:22:42] 从山门外边儿打到里边去了

[00:22:46] 那个小和尚见识不好

[00:22:48] 回身就跑

[00:22:51] 就这样

[00:22:52] 鲁智深迈大步进了山门

[00:22:56] 啊

[00:22:58] 好久啊

[00:23:00] 好久