《水浒0085》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由TME AI技术生成

[00:00:00] 武松被发配到孟州牢城营

[00:00:06] 按宋朝规定

[00:00:08] 这个配军哪

[00:00:11] 一到牢城营先要打一百杀威霸

[00:00:19] 您听这名儿

[00:00:21] 杀威棒是威风的威

[00:00:24] 就杀山里的威风

[00:00:27] 打打你的锐气

[00:00:31] 因为当时属于配军的人差不多都是杀人的凶犯

[00:00:38] 滚了马的强盗

[00:00:41] 说这帮人最横不过

[00:00:45] 很难管束

[00:00:47] 因此一见面儿无问青红皂白

[00:00:52] 先揍你一百棒

[00:00:56] 后来呢

[00:00:58] 就拿这玩意儿敲竹杠

[00:01:01] 你要给了钱

[00:01:03] 走了门子

[00:01:05] 他们得到好处就可以少打或者不打

[00:01:12] 因此牢城营大官儿小官儿中饱私囊啊

[00:01:18] 这是很大一笔收入

[00:01:22] 武松呢

[00:01:24] 又横又犟

[00:01:27] 明知是这么回事儿

[00:01:29] 有的是钱

[00:01:30] 就是不给

[00:01:33] 我看你们能把我打到什么程度

[00:01:37] 那还不吃亏吗

[00:01:40] 当官儿的这位从书立手中把那档案都拿过来

[00:01:46] 一篇儿一篇儿的翻翻看了看

[00:01:49] 武松

[00:01:52] 老城营的规矩你懂吗

[00:01:55] 小人不懂

[00:01:58] 按照咱们大宋武德皇帝定的制度

[00:02:05] 凡属沛军

[00:02:07] 不问情由都要先打一百杀威霸

[00:02:15] 当然

[00:02:16] 你也不能例外了

[00:02:17] 来人

[00:02:19] 拉下去

[00:02:20] 打那孙小鬼儿

[00:02:24] 孙差拨过来了

[00:02:27] 大人

[00:02:29] 这小子刚进了单号就造谣祸众

[00:02:35] 扎扎活活不服管束

[00:02:38] 对他要不下点儿毒手

[00:02:41] 往后别人儿都跟他学可就坏了

[00:02:45] 得狠狠的打

[00:02:47] 嗯

[00:02:49] 好吧

[00:02:50] 重重打

[00:02:53] 这孙小鬼没得着钱

[00:02:55] 恨

[00:02:56] 武松添油加醋

[00:02:59] 然后这小子往旁边一站

[00:03:01] 哈哈哈笑

[00:03:03] 再看这些掌刑的把武松拉下去了

[00:03:07] 头朝外

[00:03:08] 脚朝里

[00:03:10] 齐脖子

[00:03:11] 摁腰摁腿摁胳膊

[00:03:13] 来

[00:03:14] 把武松的中衣吞下

[00:03:18] 掌刑的往手心吐了点儿唾沫

[00:03:22] 呸呸

[00:03:24] 还没等打呢

[00:03:25] 武松说话了

[00:03:26] 唉

[00:03:28] 我 各位

[00:03:29] 我有个要求

[00:03:31] 什么要求

[00:03:33] 你们吃饱没吃饱

[00:03:36] 废话

[00:03:36] 你问这干什么

[00:03:38] 希望你们吃饱了狠狠的打

[00:03:41] 听没有对我千万别徇私

[00:03:45] 别留情

[00:03:47] 要揍的重了

[00:03:48] 我心里高兴

[00:03:50] 揍的轻了

[00:03:51] 我骂你们那祖宗爷爷

[00:03:55] 生来长了个挨揍的躯体

[00:03:58] 揍的越重

[00:04:00] 我心里越痛快

[00:04:01] 打吧

[00:04:04] 把这管营的营官也气乐了

[00:04:08] 两旁的人也乐了

[00:04:10] 心说妈

[00:04:11] 这位真特殊啊

[00:04:13] 一般人挨揍连哭再叫点儿手下留情的

[00:04:17] 你慢点儿

[00:04:19] 都是这套词儿

[00:04:20] 唉 这位哪好

[00:04:22] 还叫我们狠劲揍他

[00:04:24] 唉呀

[00:04:25] 看来这小子是个皮子

[00:04:27] 也是个耿梗啊

[00:04:29] 管赢啪

[00:04:30] 把桌子一拍

[00:04:31] 噔大碗

[00:04:34] 李靖

[00:04:35] 敢咆哮公堂

[00:04:37] 来 狠狠打

[00:04:39] 棍棍见血

[00:04:41] 啪 嘎啪啪

[00:04:48] 这就揍上了

[00:04:51] 其实武松啊

[00:04:53] 是憋着气儿的

[00:04:55] 我郎心说今天我露一手让你们看看

[00:05:00] 一般情况下我不乐意显示

[00:05:04] 我在少林寺学过气功

[00:05:07] 我也学过硬功

[00:05:10] 我今天叫你们打不成

[00:05:12] 再看武松

[00:05:13] 舌尖一顶上牙膛

[00:05:15] 一叫丹田一粒混元气

[00:05:19] 那两条大腿跟那屁股的案子

[00:05:22] 呜

[00:05:24] 全鼓起来

[00:05:27] 梆硬邦硬的

[00:05:30] 那棒子不揍

[00:05:31] 便把揍的这地方

[00:05:33] 这地方就起个肉包

[00:05:35] 揍一下起一个肉包

[00:05:38] 越打这肉越硬

[00:05:40] 越打大腿越粗

[00:05:44] 棒子下去之后

[00:05:46] 啪 嘣

[00:05:49] 被打那地方都鼓起个包来了

[00:05:52] 就像那铁疙瘩似的

[00:05:56] 把这掌刑的人震的是两臂发麻呀

[00:06:02] 心说他爸

[00:06:03] 这个山东大个儿这肉怎么这么硬

[00:06:07] 莫非是石头变得不成

[00:06:10] 啪嘣啪嘣

[00:06:15] 连打了六七下

[00:06:17] 鼓起六七个大包来

[00:06:22] 把堂上的人全都惊呆了

[00:06:27] 牢城营这位营官

[00:06:30] 也就是管营大老爷惊的都站起来了

[00:06:35] 手捋须然嘴张多大眼睛盯着武松这个喂呀

[00:06:47] 心说这这

[00:06:48] 这怎么回事儿这是

[00:06:50] 从来没见过

[00:06:53] 把掌刑的吓得不敢打了

[00:06:56] 唉

[00:06:56] 正在这么个时候

[00:06:59] 从大唐的屏风后面儿转出一个人来

[00:07:05] 这个人是个年轻人穿白褂素头

[00:07:10] 戴着软包巾

[00:07:13] 这右膀子可能有点病

[00:07:17] 在脖子上拴条白丝带儿

[00:07:20] 把这膀子给吊上

[00:07:23] 脸上也多处有伤

[00:07:25] 都抹的药

[00:07:28] 这个年轻人一瘸一扁来到管营的身后

[00:07:36] 也看武松受刑

[00:07:39] 他一看呢

[00:07:40] 也惊呆了

[00:07:42] 这个年轻人俯下身来

[00:07:46] 对着管营的耳朵低低的说了那么几句

[00:07:52] 老管营不住地点头

[00:07:57] 好吧

[00:07:59] 闹了半天人家是父子

[00:08:01] 爷儿俩

[00:08:03] 穿一身儿白的小伙儿是管营的儿子

[00:08:07] 那跟他爹说话

[00:08:09] 他爹自然是听了

[00:08:12] 老管营把手一摆

[00:08:15] 慢

[00:08:17] 先不要打他了

[00:08:20] 罪犯武松

[00:08:22] 你听着

[00:08:23] 可能你这个人是有病啊

[00:08:29] 按武德皇帝规定

[00:08:32] 有病的人可以免打

[00:08:36] 权且记上账

[00:08:39] 等病好之后再打不迟

[00:08:43] 拿下去

[00:08:46] 敲的那么几下

[00:08:47] 不打了

[00:08:49] 武松把头抬起来了

[00:08:52] 冲着管营一乐

[00:08:55] 我

[00:08:56] 大人您误会了吧

[00:08:59] 我哪来的兵

[00:09:01] 我棒极了

[00:09:04] 吃的多

[00:09:05] 睡得香

[00:09:06] 蹦儿蹦烂跳

[00:09:07] 什么病没有

[00:09:09] 最好你是打

[00:09:11] 狠狠的打

[00:09:12] 千万别记账

[00:09:15] 我这人儿要欠账

[00:09:16] 睡不着觉

[00:09:17] 你干脆接茬打得了

[00:09:21] 堂上的人一听

[00:09:22] 都乐了

[00:09:25] 心说这位是个半吊子二百五

[00:09:29] 有这贱骨头是怎么的

[00:09:31] 他不打他了他还不干

[00:09:35] 就见老管营把脸往下一沉

[00:09:37] 呃

[00:09:39] 武松

[00:09:41] 你分明是有病

[00:09:44] 冲你说这话叫胡言乱语

[00:09:48] 还不承认吗

[00:09:50] 来人

[00:09:51] 拉下去

[00:09:52] 不打了

[00:09:54] 武松越叫打

[00:09:55] 人家还越不打

[00:09:58] 就这么样退了堂了

[00:10:01] 武松又回到牢城营自己那单间儿里头

[00:10:07] 武松摸摸屁股蛋子和腿

[00:10:10] 没怎么地

[00:10:12] 虽然挨了几下棒子

[00:10:14] 但武松运用气功

[00:10:18] 所以什么事儿没有

[00:10:20] 武松回来之后往土炕上一躺

[00:10:26] 双手震到脑后就胡思乱想

[00:10:32] 心说这怎么回事儿

[00:10:36] 那老管营怎么打着打着不打我了

[00:10:41] 莫非我运用气功把他给吓住了

[00:10:47] 又一想 不对

[00:10:49] 怎么能吓得住他们呢

[00:10:52] 唉呀

[00:10:54] 那个穿白衣服的小伙子跟老管营是什么关系

[00:11:01] 他们俩不住的咬耳朵嘀咕什么呢

[00:11:05] 看样子是在我身上打主意

[00:11:09] 哼

[00:11:11] 你们爱怎么地怎么地

[00:11:14] 你们有千条妙计

[00:11:17] 我武松有一定之功

[00:11:21] 人到了这一步怕也不行

[00:11:25] 我豁出我这一百多斤去了

[00:11:28] 你们爱如何便如何

[00:11:33] 武松躺下

[00:11:34] 时间不大

[00:11:37] 外头响起脚步的声音

[00:11:41] 那个姓孙的叫孙小鬼儿的差拨推门进来了

[00:11:48] 这小子原来比秃尾巴狗还横

[00:11:51] 这回判若两人

[00:11:54] 跟洗面佛差不多少

[00:11:58] 进屋就乐

[00:12:00] 武督头

[00:12:01] 武督头

[00:12:04] 好丫的

[00:12:05] 好丫的

[00:12:07] 哎呀

[00:12:08] 您这功夫可太棒了

[00:12:11] 难怪您三拳两脚打死一只猛虎

[00:12:17] 我们认为那只不过是传言而已

[00:12:21] 今日一见

[00:12:22] 我们算开了眼界了

[00:12:25] 唉

[00:12:26] 就

[00:12:26] 就比方说您受刑的时候

[00:12:29] 越打腿越粗

[00:12:32] 越打肉越硬

[00:12:34] 这不就是绝活吗

[00:12:36] 唉 好 好

[00:12:39] 连我们管营大老爷上上下下的弟兄没有不挑大指称赞您的

[00:12:47] 嘿嘿嘿嘿

[00:12:49] 武松知道这小子没好心眼儿

[00:12:53] 对他印象坏极了

[00:12:56] 武松躺那连动也没动

[00:12:59] 用眼睛盯着他

[00:13:01] 好半天才说

[00:13:04] 我说你呲着个牙晃着个脑袋

[00:13:07] 太讨人嫌了

[00:13:10] 有话快说有屁快放

[00:13:12] 你干什么

[00:13:13] 唉哎哎哎哎哎

[00:13:14] 好好

[00:13:15] 痛快痛快

[00:13:17] 武督头快言快语

[00:13:20] 我就喜欢您这样的硬汉子

[00:13:23] 我这次来没别的

[00:13:27] 我打算给您这屋啊收拾收拾

[00:13:30] 您看这土炕

[00:13:32] 冰凉棒硬

[00:13:34] 您睡着也不舒服对不对呢

[00:13:36] 来来 进来

[00:13:38] 把被褥拿进来

[00:13:41] 感情外边儿还站着四五个人

[00:13:45] 拿着被褥毯子褥子

[00:13:49] 武松不知道怎么回事儿就离开这土炕

[00:13:52] 站在旁边看着这几个人七手八脚铺好褥子毯子被窝枕头

[00:14:04] 又拿进一张方桌两把椅子

[00:14:08] 还端进一套茶具

[00:14:11] 还摆了个茶叶盒

[00:14:13] 茶水都给沏上了

[00:14:16] 再看这孙小鬼儿

[00:14:18] 亲自给武松满了一碗茶

[00:14:22] 杜头

[00:14:24] 喝茶好啊

[00:14:26] 喝茶能够给您解除疲劳啊

[00:14:30] 您一路之上受了不少罪呀

[00:14:33] 好好歇歇吧

[00:14:34] 啊

[00:14:34] 这是上等的好茶叶

[00:14:37] 我现在就叫人给您准备饭去

[00:14:40] 你要多进食

[00:14:42] 对身体才有好处

[00:14:44] 你歇着

[00:14:45] 我走了 嘿嘿

[00:14:49] 这几个人走了

[00:14:52] 武松就更纳闷儿了

[00:14:55] 看了看这茶水

[00:14:57] 提鼻子又闻闻

[00:14:59] 的确是好茶

[00:15:01] 这里边儿没有药

[00:15:03] 武松又一想

[00:15:04] 去他娘的

[00:15:07] 我饿了就吃

[00:15:08] 渴了就喝

[00:15:10] 命我都不要了

[00:15:11] 我怕什么

[00:15:13] 武松一口气儿把这壶水全喝了

[00:15:16] 呵

[00:15:16] 这解渴就甭提了

[00:15:18] 感情这壶水一入肚

[00:15:21] 武松觉着饿了

[00:15:24] 饥肠辘辘

[00:15:25] 咕噜呼噜咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜咕噜呼噜

[00:15:31] 唉

[00:15:31] 消化还不错

[00:15:33] 正在这时

[00:15:34] 孙小果又回来了

[00:15:35] 五毒头

[00:15:36] 饿了吧

[00:15:38] 这给您准备的吃喝

[00:15:40] 来来来

[00:15:41] 端进来端进来

[00:15:43] 把茶具挪开

[00:15:46] 桌子调摆开

[00:15:48] 外头有人拎进个大石盒

[00:15:52] 盖儿掀开

[00:15:53] 热气腾腾

[00:15:55] 一盘儿一盘儿往上端

[00:15:58] 武松一看

[00:16:01] 有一盘儿溜肉段儿

[00:16:04] 一盘儿锅包肉

[00:16:07] 一盘儿清蒸鱼

[00:16:10] 还有一只鸡

[00:16:12] 中间还有个大冰盘

[00:16:15] 香肠小肚

[00:16:17] 狗肉 牛腱子

[00:16:19] 另外还给搬了一坛子好酒

[00:16:25] 就这时候

[00:16:26] 就在饭馆儿也得不少钱哪

[00:16:29] 武松提鼻子一闻

[00:16:31] 大鼻儿的香

[00:16:33] 做的还真得味呀

[00:16:36] 孙小鬼儿赶紧给武松倒了一杯酒

[00:16:41] 武都头

[00:16:43] 我不陪着你拿

[00:16:44] 您慢慢吃

[00:16:46] 我们就在门外伺候着

[00:16:48] 缺什么您言语一声啊

[00:16:51] 您 您用饭

[00:16:52] 您用饭

[00:16:53] 他们退出去了

[00:16:56] 嗯

[00:16:59] 武松心说这是怎么回事儿

[00:17:03] 莫非非梦中不成

[00:17:06] 武松啊摇摇手指头

[00:17:11] 呀 是挺疼

[00:17:13] 掐掐大腿

[00:17:15] 里子也挺疼

[00:17:17] 知道疼

[00:17:18] 这就不是做梦

[00:17:21] 那这是怎么回事儿

[00:17:23] 我是个配军

[00:17:25] 我是杀人的凶犯

[00:17:28] 到这儿受到这样的礼遇

[00:17:31] 这真是莫名其妙啊

[00:17:35] 嗯

[00:17:36] 别伤这脑筋了

[00:17:39] 让我吃我就吃

[00:17:43] 武松不管三七二十一啊

[00:17:45] 大口儿喝酒是大口吃肉

[00:17:49] 他也饿了

[00:17:51] 风卷残云把这一桌子他全报销了

[00:17:57] 这吃这个香劲儿就甭提了

[00:17:59] 嗯嗯嗯直打嗝

[00:18:02] 又过了一会儿

[00:18:03] 孙小鬼儿进来了

[00:18:05] 哎呀

[00:18:06] 好

[00:18:07] 您都吃的太好了

[00:18:10] 够不够

[00:18:10] 不够再给您添菜

[00:18:12] 饱了

[00:18:14] 什么也不用了啊

[00:18:15] 好

[00:18:15] 撤下去撤下去

[00:18:17] 再 再给沏茶

[00:18:21] 撤下去之后又给武松重新沏了一壶宴茶

[00:18:27] 孙小果嬉皮笑脸的

[00:18:30] 唉

[00:18:31] 今天晚上您委屈委屈就住在这儿啊

[00:18:35] 过两天呢

[00:18:36] 再给您挪个地方

[00:18:37] 您千万注意保护身体

[00:18:40] 呃 我走啦 唉

[00:18:41] 明儿见

[00:18:42] 明儿个见

[00:18:45] 他走了

[00:18:47] 当天晚上

[00:18:48] 那些难友儿都来了

[00:18:53] 唉呦

[00:18:53] 这难友啊

[00:18:54] 屋里也是外头也是

[00:18:56] 有那胆儿大的

[00:18:57] 挤进屋来就问我朋友挨打没

[00:19:03] 武松说打了我几下

[00:19:06] 我没逼着他

[00:19:06] 非说我有病

[00:19:08] 给我记到账上了

[00:19:09] 说以后再算

[00:19:11] 还给我送了不少的吃喝

[00:19:13] 我们看见了

[00:19:16] 那差拨领着四五个人来了好几趟

[00:19:19] 还夹着被窝毯子

[00:19:21] 呦呦呦

[00:19:23] 你这屋好阔气呀

[00:19:26] 在牢城营里边儿哪有这种地方

[00:19:31] 您算拔尖儿盖了了帽了

[00:19:34] 大概您没少花银子吧

[00:19:36] 往少少说

[00:19:38] 得花他二百两

[00:19:39] 白笑话

[00:19:41] 我一也没花

[00:19:42] 那怪了我

[00:19:45] 你没花银子他们怎么能这么对待你呢

[00:19:49] 要不就是你有好朋友

[00:19:52] 有势力的朋友跟你说了好话了

[00:19:55] 不然的话他们绝对不能这样

[00:19:59] 要不假

[00:20:01] 就是他们又有鬼点子

[00:20:04] 想特殊的招收拾你

[00:20:06] 哦

[00:20:07] 他们还有什么招儿

[00:20:08] 哎呀

[00:20:09] 那招儿多了比如说叫你吃饱了喝足了

[00:20:15] 趁着你不注意的时候他们把你捆上

[00:20:20] 头朝下脚朝天给你戳到墙犄角

[00:20:24] 叫爆栽葱

[00:20:27] 你想想

[00:20:27] 那人受得了吗

[00:20:30] 不用说一晚上

[00:20:32] 就是到了半夜

[00:20:34] 七窍流血

[00:20:35] 活活的把你控死啊

[00:20:38] 我说你可留神哪

[00:20:40] 他们什么招儿都有

[00:20:44] 这帮人说了一会儿

[00:20:45] 怕被别人发现

[00:20:46] 都走了

[00:20:48] 叫他们这一说呀

[00:20:50] 武松还真担了心了

[00:20:53] 拍了拍肚子

[00:20:54] 吃的的确挺饱

[00:20:57] 武松心说能收拾我吗

[00:21:00] 嗯

[00:21:01] 害人之心不可有

[00:21:03] 防人之心不可无啊

[00:21:06] 我多加谨慎也就是了

[00:21:10] 头半夜武松没睡好觉

[00:21:14] 有点儿风吹草动他就坐起来

[00:21:18] 稍微有一点儿动静

[00:21:19] 他支楞耳朵要听清楚

[00:21:22] 后来实在支持不了了

[00:21:24] 武松一想

[00:21:26] 去他妈的

[00:21:27] 呱哒哒吧

[00:21:30] 睡我的觉

[00:21:30] 爱怎么怎么地

[00:21:32] 他睡了

[00:21:35] 唉

[00:21:35] 这觉睡得甭提多舒服了

[00:21:38] 日头升的老高老高的了

[00:21:41] 武松这才醒

[00:21:43] 按现在钟表来说

[00:21:45] 到了次日早晨九点多钟了

[00:21:49] 你想想

[00:21:51] 这一路之上

[00:21:52] 两千多里地呀

[00:21:54] 小行夜住

[00:21:57] 当然也睡觉

[00:21:59] 那跟现在两回事儿

[00:22:02] 从来没有这样轻松舒服啊

[00:22:05] 武松下地

[00:22:07] 沉沉懒腰

[00:22:11] 好

[00:22:13] 哎呀

[00:22:15] 今儿他们怎么对付我呢

[00:22:18] 唉

[00:22:18] 他正想着呢

[00:22:20] 门儿一开

[00:22:21] 换人儿了

[00:22:23] 孙小鬼儿没来

[00:22:24] 进来一位年迈苍苍的老家人

[00:22:31] 头上戴着一把抓的随风倒

[00:22:34] 身穿古铜色长衫儿

[00:22:37] 腰里系着条布带

[00:22:41] 这老家人多少有点驼背

[00:22:45] 眉毛胡子有白的了

[00:22:48] 看这样儿能有六十左右岁

[00:22:51] 后头领着两个小厮

[00:22:55] 这老家人进来

[00:22:57] 笑脸相迎

[00:22:59] 武都头

[00:23:00] 我给您磕头了