《老蔫完婚》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成

[00:00:04] 自打老蔫儿啊

[00:00:05] 在春节晚会上相了

[00:00:07] 亲

[00:00:07] 商量妥妥儿的回家就准备结婚

[00:00:11] 哪曾想啊

[00:00:12] 孩子调动工作

[00:00:14] 加上我那段儿心不顺

[00:00:16] 把我呀

[00:00:17] 就先接到了

[00:00:17] 深圳前几天给老娘发封电报

[00:00:21] 让他速速来深圳完婚

[00:00:35] 街道马呀

[00:00:36] 一封电报让我素来深圳报道

[00:00:38] 说是上这儿完婚

[00:00:40] 万万没想到

[00:00:41] 这50 出头

[00:00:42] 60 没到

[00:00:43] 还要重新做把花轿掺量的电报

[00:00:50] 加急的徐老蔫儿速来深圳完婚

[00:00:55] 你多能载还玩婚

[00:00:56] 一结电报把我吓一跳

[00:00:58] 我寻思完婚是拉倒的

[00:01:01] 后来人家别人告诉我说完

[00:01:03] 也叫结婚

[00:01:04] 结婚也是完婚

[00:01:06] 统称叫办事儿

[00:01:12] 在看车

[00:01:13] 他没来

[00:01:14] 没人来接我了

[00:01:16] 我临来18 天报的告诉明白的吗

[00:01:19] 说7月6号七点六十到暗号

[00:01:22] 照旧左手戴手套

[00:01:29] 这趟不到啊

[00:01:31] 没人来还真别乱走

[00:01:33] 听说不远那边就是港澳

[00:01:35] 别走过界

[00:01:36] 还没找地方休息

[00:01:51] 深圳这地方到处都是广告

[00:01:53] 邓中间都给你放一个就让你慢慢学

[00:01:56] 想歇都歇不着写啥了深圳也有刚上广告就有人迟到

[00:02:26] 什么人不要乱联系

[00:02:28] 啊啊

[00:02:29] 我可是要结婚的人了

[00:02:33] 我是马丫马丫伸开我就认识一个马呀

[00:02:39] 又多出个呀

[00:02:42] 哎呀妈呀

[00:02:45] 拿什么当凭证收到了你的电报

[00:02:48] 什么内容

[00:02:49] 7 月6号七点六十到二号照旧

[00:02:52] 左手戴手套到下呀

[00:02:59] 那是哪是ma 1

[00:03:02] 劲爆游戏

[00:03:04] 我是马呀

[00:03:09] 啥看啥呀

[00:03:10] 认不出来了

[00:03:13] 完了整个出乎我的意料之外

[00:03:19] 变了

[00:03:20] 变了

[00:03:22] 全变了

[00:03:23] 哪变了

[00:03:25] 头发也烫乱了

[00:03:26] 这脸上有涂白面嘴唇还高

[00:03:29] 红线儿

[00:03:29] 这眼镜还代练呢

[00:03:31] 腰上还扎袋儿呢

[00:03:33] 瞅着个儿挺高的是吗

[00:03:35] 鞋加垫儿了

[00:03:44] 你这是夸我呢还是损我呢

[00:03:47] 嗯

[00:03:50] 消毒的咋一股酒精味儿的香水儿完了彻底让我选择在深圳完婚

[00:04:02] 你好像有啥意见

[00:04:04] 有啥意见

[00:04:05] 你还不了解我

[00:04:06] 我这人就是从小听儿女听爹妈的

[00:04:10] 老了

[00:04:10] 听儿女的纲要说了算了

[00:04:12] 这回又得听你的

[00:04:14] 是不是头一回走这么远的道儿啊

[00:04:17] 借你光呢

[00:04:18] 要不能上这好地方来了还得半路调

[00:04:21] 那叫通行证都一个意思

[00:04:24] 你说上这儿干这干啥呢

[00:04:26] 这不是特区吗

[00:04:28] 那不特区我也没说他是二锅头啊

[00:04:39] 说话声我跟你说呀

[00:04:43] 这可不是一般的地方

[00:04:45] 听人家说呀

[00:04:47] 头十年

[00:04:48] 这就是个小渔村

[00:04:49] 你看这十年之间的变化有多快呀

[00:04:52] 他用十年干啥

[00:04:54] 这才一年多不就变了

[00:04:56] 骂啊

[00:04:59] 你要是能挨上一段啊

[00:05:01] 你也得变老年人

[00:05:04] 你说呢

[00:05:05] 怪不

[00:05:06] 自打我来到这个特区呀

[00:05:09] 我就觉得活的可滋润了

[00:05:11] 你说这腿脚也笨了

[00:05:13] 心也不怕闷了

[00:05:15] 摸着脸皮儿啊

[00:05:17] 觉着面笨了

[00:05:18] 这一到深圳了

[00:05:20] 啥都兴奋了

[00:05:21] 在这么一倒腾

[00:05:22] 看我就有点不带劲了

[00:05:26] 大伙说说你

[00:05:27] 瞅你这从头到脚都快成啊

[00:05:29] 混了是看明白了

[00:05:30] 这次南下肯定冒进

[00:05:34] 你说你结婚你咋不换衣服呢

[00:05:37] 我换衣服干啥呀

[00:05:38] 我就怕你看不出来我

[00:05:40] 我寻思让你寻找一下我从前的影子

[00:05:49] 你咋还戴帽子呢

[00:05:52] 这破帽子的我都呆二十来年了

[00:05:54] 我寻思我上好地方来了

[00:05:56] 我能怎么能把它放家

[00:05:58] 你这个样子喊破了哎哟

[00:06:00] 我的妈

[00:06:00] 你把舌头伸直在说话

[00:06:07] 啥也不说了

[00:06:08] 说啥呀

[00:06:09] 来一年多舌头还划圈怎么样

[00:06:14] 还没吃饭吧

[00:06:15] 没安排这事儿啊

[00:06:17] 我现在就请你吃早茶去买啥去吃早茶

[00:06:21] 我从老家赶到深圳

[00:06:23] 这都四五天没吃一顿饱饭

[00:06:25] 你使挺大劲

[00:06:26] 我第一个瘪肚

[00:06:27] 你给我一点安排喝茶

[00:06:31] 啥也不懂

[00:06:32] 唉好

[00:06:34] 咱不去赶快回家

[00:06:36] 孩子还等着呢

[00:06:37] 你别整这事先别回去

[00:06:38] 咱们把有关事项来这商量好

[00:06:40] 别回去唧唧咯咯

[00:06:41] 让孩子笑话

[00:06:42] 你说呢

[00:06:44] 说明白

[00:06:47] 具体的说呢

[00:06:48] 就是你电报写呢

[00:06:49] 说上这来玩火了

[00:06:51] 究竟啥意思

[00:06:51] 你还打算结婚不

[00:06:53] 这是第一

[00:06:54] 另外呢

[00:06:54] 说实话

[00:06:56] 本应该前年春节回去就应该把事儿办了

[00:06:59] 当时你提出的说心情不好说什么

[00:07:02] 更年期等一等的来玩一玩

[00:07:07] 从目前这情况你可能是到期了

[00:07:17] 抓紧时间办了

[00:07:18] 行不行

[00:07:18] 你要如果不办

[00:07:19] 我也要开岗

[00:07:23] 但是不能急着结婚

[00:07:26] 不结婚都来了

[00:07:28] 你还急啥呀

[00:07:30] 我跟你说呀

[00:07:31] 到了特区我领你到处看看

[00:07:34] 四处转转

[00:07:36] 不用看我

[00:07:37] 现在是最关心深圳

[00:07:38] 因为你上这儿来了

[00:07:39] 我天天看电视知道不一

[00:07:41] 有这个新闻

[00:07:42] 我就看电视都输了身

[00:07:44] 深圳是改革的小窗户改革窗口窗口

[00:07:50] 对呀

[00:07:51] 我就怕你站在窗口上时间长

[00:07:53] 受风了

[00:08:02] 我跟你说啊

[00:08:04] 到这儿啊

[00:08:05] 我领你四处看看

[00:08:07] 咱先去趟沙头角再去趟香蜜湖

[00:08:10] 参观参观锦绣中华

[00:08:12] 在看起来看黄牛

[00:08:13] 黄牛我就不肯

[00:08:15] 你还不了解

[00:08:16] 我们从小放牛

[00:08:17] 长大了

[00:08:18] 赶牛车到老子吃牛肉

[00:08:20] 再说这次来的目的不是被牛奶

[00:08:24] 我说那叫垦荒

[00:08:25] 你哦

[00:08:26] 不是你吃的那个牛

[00:08:28] 人家都说呀

[00:08:29] 那深圳人就像那开荒地牛

[00:08:32] 那是比喻

[00:08:33] 懂不

[00:08:35] 我看这目的干啥

[00:08:37] 看这些不是为了让你年年行

[00:08:39] 是提高提高档次吗

[00:08:41] 就你目前这情况

[00:08:42] 咱们结婚嘛呢

[00:08:43] 不接呼噜

[00:08:44] 打什么电报呢啊

[00:08:46] 你拿我当礼拜天过呢

[00:08:56] 我听你说下步怎么打算咋办就咋办

[00:08:59] 你说怎么办呢

[00:09:06] 咱先去趟国贸大厦买套西装

[00:09:09] 再加条领带

[00:09:11] 给你换上啊

[00:09:13] 就我这造型

[00:09:14] 穿套西裤谁跟我结婚呢不做的淘汰吗

[00:09:21] 你瞅你这个样子怎么回家接孩子啊

[00:09:23] 你瞅瞅完了

[00:09:25] 我连个孩子还不能见完了

[00:09:29] 他现在看我试穿也不像穿了带也不像戴了

[00:09:32] 不如从前来派了

[00:09:34] 没有相亲那阵儿可爱眼看人家提高了

[00:09:37] 我变老外了

[00:09:39] 这下整不好肯定是S 干啥去国贸大厦呀

[00:09:47] 上啥大厦大厦的啊

[00:09:49] 我不去

[00:09:50] 你老逼我换衣服干啥

[00:09:51] 我就影响深圳市容了

[00:09:53] 咋的

[00:09:55] 你说就你这身衣服回家见孩子

[00:09:57] 你让我这老脸往哪儿放嘞

[00:10:00] 你孩子早也知道我有这身衣服

[00:10:03] 你挑这身干啥呀

[00:10:05] 我就问你到底去不去

[00:10:06] 我租你你去还是不去

[00:10:09] 你说记得我记得带了一套啊

[00:10:15] 你老追啥都追蒙了

[00:10:17] 你这是给他买的我先穿上试试

[00:10:32] 他看变没变心

[00:10:33] 如果不跟我结婚

[00:10:34] 赶紧回东北找出来吧

[00:10:38] 找出来了

[00:10:39] 我得找个地方啊

[00:10:40] 有厕所啊之类的

[00:10:43] 看见没那儿洗手间快去换个衣服还得洗手

[00:10:50] 洗手间就是厕所吗

[00:10:52] 一个单位我洗手去啊

[00:11:05] 哎

[00:11:07] 一瞅这个老蔫儿啊

[00:11:11] 哎

[00:11:12] 一首歌也不怪他

[00:11:14] 自打我来到深圳呢

[00:11:15] 就一直没给他写信

[00:11:18] 看见没

[00:11:19] 这从哪下车就跟我憋劲

[00:11:22] 要不是我的要求有点过分

[00:11:25] 他这个人哪

[00:11:26] 哪一个心眼儿死犟哪

[00:11:28] 又不对呀

[00:11:29] 我还真得赶紧承认要不当俺俩的终身大事在深圳完婚

[00:11:36] 老娘你丑

[00:11:38] 换个衣服你瞅你磨磨唧唧的

[00:11:40] 你瞅咋这样呢

[00:12:09] 大姑娘跟谁说话呢啊呢

[00:12:16] 没等谁等谁

[00:12:21] 刚才那老头儿是你老伴儿啥老伴儿啊

[00:12:26] 是老乡啊老乡

[00:12:29] 你俩就没有点儿意思

[00:12:31] 啥都这么大岁数了哪那么多想法儿拉倒吧

[00:12:36] 我都在

[00:12:36] 旁边听着呢

[00:12:37] 老头来找你结婚了

[00:12:39] 你嫌人穿破烂的有点要不干了我看那人挺好的好啥呀

[00:12:46] 他这个人啊

[00:12:48] 你别瞅他蔫了吧唧地呢

[00:12:50] 一肚子大骨盆心眼儿小的像针鼻儿呢

[00:12:53] 要上了鱼皮气啊

[00:12:55] 气死人儿

[00:12:56] 不打算跟他结婚呢

[00:13:00] 你咋老问这事儿呢

[00:13:02] 你有啥想法啊

[00:13:04] 不是我有想法儿人家来找你结婚你不结婚

[00:13:08] 老头儿有想法啦告诉你吧

[00:13:11] 儿子走了

[00:13:14] 你还别不信

[00:13:15] 看着妈妈包让我拿回来了

[00:13:17] 回东北了啊

[00:13:21] 你说啥玩意儿走

[00:13:23] 你说那是老九不能走

[00:13:25] 一个老乡走就走吧

[00:13:27] 啊啊

[00:13:31] 俺老伴儿

[00:13:32] 谁俺老伴儿

[00:13:34] 刚才你咋不承认呢

[00:13:37] 你还打算办吗

[00:13:50] 是不是让你呢

[00:13:55] 这不给你买都没心思结婚穿吗

[00:13:57] 一看你这情况

[00:13:57] 你也不能穿呢

[00:13:59] 老鼻子换衣服我就换

[00:14:00] 你呀你呀

[00:14:02] 医生让我说你啥好啊

[00:14:04] 啥也别说了

[00:14:05] 是吧

[00:14:05] 到深圳了

[00:14:06] 咱就得晚点

[00:14:07] 深圳的速度你没看那媳妇呢吗

[00:14:09] 时间就是金钱

[00:14:10] 效率就是生命

[00:14:12] 啥事儿都得抓

[00:14:13] 点儿紧是吧

[00:14:15] 老婆对这个地方不能叫老伴儿

[00:14:19] 叫啥

[00:14:19] 应该叫太太呀

[00:14:22] 舌头叫太太不对

[00:14:25] 你就叫老伴儿

[00:14:26] 多实惠多难干啥呀

[00:14:36] 哎呀

[00:14:36] 你别气我了

[00:14:40] 这还一个牌牌呢

[00:14:45] 白瞎了一回广告