《《马云爸爸》岳云鹏 孙越》歌词

[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成

[00:00:04] 谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢亲爱的朋友们

[00:00:07] 谢谢楼上的朋友们

[00:00:09] 你们好吗

[00:00:13] 看得到我吗

[00:00:17] 听得到我嘛

[00:00:20] 鼓掌好不好

[00:00:24] 弄药啦

[00:00:25] 谢谢

[00:00:27] 站在这个舞台上非常的开心啊

[00:00:29] 非常的激动

[00:00:31] 双11 购物节狂欢节啊

[00:00:34] 我先做一个介绍吧

[00:00:36] 好啊

[00:00:36] 我叫岳云鹏

[00:00:38] 对

[00:00:38] 这是我的搭档孙老师

[00:00:40] 林老师啊

[00:00:42] 狂欢节购物节

[00:00:44] 对我问问孙老师啊

[00:00:46] 最需要的是什么

[00:00:48] 您说的是什么

[00:00:49] 网购啊

[00:00:50] 网购最需要的是什么

[00:00:52] 网购最需要的网啊

[00:00:55] 你得有网吗

[00:00:56] 你还有呢

[00:00:59] 有电脑还有吗

[00:01:02] 有WiFi 还有吗

[00:01:05] 插线板

[00:01:07] 傻样

[00:01:08] 你看那个姑娘都不行了

[00:01:12] 你就知道钱

[00:01:13] 你很多朋友都是钱

[00:01:16] 是钱吗

[00:01:17] 当然是钱啦

[00:01:18] 哦

[00:01:18] 这非得有钱

[00:01:19] 得需要钱

[00:01:20] 嗯

[00:01:20] 问孙老师一个私密的问题啊

[00:01:22] 还私密的

[00:01:23] 一个月能赚多少钱

[00:01:27] 快多少钱

[00:01:29] 八块

[00:01:31] 这姑娘豁出去了

[00:01:33] 一个月啊

[00:01:34] 嗨

[00:01:36] 1万块钱吧

[00:01:41] 怎么了

[00:01:42] 你赚1万块钱啊

[00:01:46] 白领啊

[00:01:47] 你是啊

[00:01:49] 还行还行

[00:01:50] 了不起啊了不起

[00:01:52] 哎哎

[00:01:52] 羡慕你

[00:01:53] 哎

[00:01:54] 你一个月赚多少啊

[00:01:56] 我一个月

[00:01:57] 嗯

[00:01:58] 我一个月赚3000块钱

[00:02:00] 别看我只赚3000块钱

[00:02:03] 但是我很开心

[00:02:05] 我说你等会儿高兴

[00:02:07] 哎呦呵

[00:02:07] 您等会儿您挣3000块钱您怎么还开心呢

[00:02:12] 因为我没有办法和着没辙呀

[00:02:16] 没有办法

[00:02:17] 哎呀

[00:02:18] 只赚3000块钱到知足也没关系啊是吗

[00:02:22] 自己动手啊

[00:02:23] 丰衣足食没错儿

[00:02:25] 来到这个晚会

[00:02:26] 这个晚会主人是谁呀谁呀

[00:02:29] 我的马爸爸

[00:02:35] 你等等我马爸爸

[00:02:37] 马爸爸啊马东啊

[00:02:44] 长得像也不是说马季呢呢

[00:02:48] 咱们马是不是马冬马云娜

[00:02:52] 马云啊

[00:02:54] 那我大哥呀

[00:02:55] 那是不要脸

[00:02:59] 我还问你不要脸啦

[00:03:00] 不要脸

[00:03:01] 真的

[00:03:02] 这个晚会参加的非常的开心

[00:03:04] 人家掏钱呢

[00:03:05] 现在对

[00:03:06] 现在是网购

[00:03:07] 流行网购

[00:03:08] 嗯

[00:03:09] 其实孙老师啊

[00:03:10] 以前也卖过东西

[00:03:12] 我以前也干过小买卖

[00:03:14] 小学刚毕业

[00:03:15] 小学刚毕业那会儿25 岁

[00:03:18] 然后呢

[00:03:19] 他就去卖东西了

[00:03:21] 我这是毕业时让人轰出来了

[00:03:24] 反正20 多岁没有

[00:03:25] 没有十几岁开始卖东西啊

[00:03:28] 卖什么呀

[00:03:29] 脆梨

[00:03:31] 我就卖那个离对了哦

[00:03:33] 卖脆梨水果儿

[00:03:34] 人家一天卖脆梨啊

[00:03:36] 这吆喝啊

[00:03:37] 有吆喝

[00:03:38] 脆梨脆梨一天也能卖不少钱呢

[00:03:41] 知道卖什么的

[00:03:42] 他不会不会吆喝

[00:03:44] 不会吆喝

[00:03:44] 哎哟

[00:03:45] 一句话也不敢说是吗

[00:03:46] 这一天下来一分钱都没赚

[00:03:49] 你看赔了他

[00:03:50] 第二天他学聪明了啊

[00:03:52] 跟人家学啊

[00:03:53] 学这个吆喝

[00:03:54] 人家卖脆梨脆梨脆梨啊

[00:03:57] 他也跟人家学

[00:03:58] 我说什么呀

[00:03:59] 他这么吆喝的啊

[00:04:01] 我也是

[00:04:03] 我也是脆梨

[00:04:04] 我也是

[00:04:05] 那意思是我也是卖脆梨的

[00:04:07] 没有这么吆喝的

[00:04:09] 这是现在是啊

[00:04:10] 我也喜欢这个买东西

[00:04:12] 呃

[00:04:12] 你喜欢网购

[00:04:13] 你看见我这个肤色了吗

[00:04:15] 你这肤色怎么了

[00:04:17] 比较白嫩

[00:04:25] 您就是水发的知道吗

[00:04:27] 起什么哄

[00:04:28] 还白嫩

[00:04:30] 比较嫩

[00:04:30] 哎哟

[00:04:31] 大白呢

[00:04:34] 不是什么什么叫什么

[00:04:36] 叫大白呢啊

[00:04:37] 佰草集呀

[00:04:40] 哦

[00:04:40] 佰草集的大白泥对我说

[00:04:43] 你怎么想起说这个了呢

[00:04:44] 因为人家给钱了呀

[00:04:48] 谢谢人家掏钱了

[00:04:52] 现在买东西啊

[00:04:53] 不讲究吆喝了

[00:04:54] 马上就能买了

[00:04:55] 对对对

[00:04:56] 过去讲究吆喝

[00:04:57] 呃

[00:04:58] 以前九腔18 调

[00:04:59] 棕绳撬扁担

[00:05:00] 全靠这肉嗓子

[00:05:02] 比如说卖菜的吧

[00:05:03] 嗯

[00:05:04] 一筐菜

[00:05:05] 很多菜

[00:05:05] 一口气吆喝下来好几十种

[00:05:08] 我跟您学一学啊

[00:05:09] 过去的卖菜的

[00:05:10] 对

[00:05:11] 您这个是什么姿势啊

[00:05:12] 弄一笼耳音

[00:05:13] 噢

[00:05:14] 卖菜的

[00:05:15] 香菜辣青椒

[00:05:19] 哎

[00:05:20] 沟葱

[00:05:21] 嫩芹菜来

[00:05:22] 扁豆、茄子、黄瓜加冬瓜

[00:05:24] 卖大海

[00:05:24] 先卖萝卜

[00:05:25] 胡萝卜

[00:05:26] 扁萝卜

[00:05:27] 嫩芽

[00:05:27] 香菜儿

[00:05:28] 蒜儿嘞

[00:05:29] 好韭菜

[00:05:31] 差

[00:05:37] 哎

[00:05:38] 正好听吆喝起来特别的好听

[00:05:40] 是

[00:05:40] 是卖菜的啊

[00:05:42] 过去卖药糖的

[00:05:43] 哦

[00:05:44] 现在不多见了

[00:05:45] 现在有那个薄荷糖啊

[00:05:46] 什么东西

[00:05:47] 教堂的二十来岁的小伙子啊

[00:05:49] 倒饬的跟我一样

[00:05:50] 这么白嫩

[00:05:51] 然后那个你再起哄

[00:05:54] 你给我出去啊

[00:05:56] 不是问题

[00:05:57] 是你不带人家起哄啊

[00:05:58] 我二十来岁的小伙子嘛

[00:06:00] 这没问题

[00:06:05] 我20岁小伙子

[00:06:10] 他说我18岁

[00:06:13] 他说你18岁那年没的

[00:06:17] 18 岁

[00:06:18] 二十来岁的小伙子啊

[00:06:19] 倒饬的干净漂亮

[00:06:21] 嗯

[00:06:21] 弄一个要糖盒子

[00:06:22] 木头盒子

[00:06:23] 对在那儿卖

[00:06:25] 我给您学学啊

[00:06:25] 呃

[00:06:26] 卖药糖的

[00:06:27] 卖药糖

[00:06:28] 哎

[00:06:29] 谁还买我的药糖

[00:06:30] A

[00:06:31] 橘子

[00:06:31] 还有香蕉

[00:06:33] 山药

[00:06:33] 仁丹

[00:06:36] 买地

[00:06:37] 买烧的

[00:06:38] 烧麦

[00:06:39] 要长的

[00:06:40] 又来了

[00:06:41] 吃了么

[00:06:41] 地位儿啊

[00:06:42] 有那么地位啊

[00:06:43] 橘子薄荷冒凉气儿

[00:06:46] 吐酸水儿啊

[00:06:47] 大宝贝儿吃了我的药糖都管事儿

[00:06:50] 小仔儿不卖大子儿一块么

[00:06:58] 哎

[00:07:01] 好听

[00:07:02] 特别好听

[00:07:03] 试试卖药糖的啊

[00:07:05] 还有什么吆喝呀

[00:07:06] 卖故意的什么一

[00:07:08] 故意啊

[00:07:09] 你看现在很多年轻人不太明白了

[00:07:11] 嗯

[00:07:11] 故意就是旧衣服

[00:07:13] 二手的

[00:07:14] 对了

[00:07:15] 现在啊

[00:07:16] 没有卖旧衣服的了

[00:07:17] 没有了

[00:07:17] 过去有穷人多

[00:07:19] 买不起新衣服

[00:07:20] 怎么办呢

[00:07:21] 就去买旧衣服啊

[00:07:22] 试试

[00:07:23] 麦

[00:07:23] 故意的讲究吆喝

[00:07:24] 哎呀

[00:07:24] 你是哪儿人呢

[00:07:26] 北京人呢

[00:07:27] 北京故意特别的好听

[00:07:28] 北京的还有对口的

[00:07:30] 故意对口两个人卖

[00:07:32] 对了

[00:07:32] 咱们两个人合作一回啊

[00:07:34] 就卖这个故意

[00:07:35] 我来这个掌柜的

[00:07:36] 好

[00:07:36] 您来这个小伙计

[00:07:38] 咱们两个人给大伙儿卖一个呢

[00:07:42] 您来掌柜的

[00:07:44] 对

[00:07:45] 我来小火鸡

[00:07:48] 我来鸵鸟儿不好吗

[00:07:49] 我有那么热火吗

[00:07:53] 我还是火鸡和火鸡

[00:07:54] 那谁小火鸡啊

[00:07:56] 怀孕的小火鸡

[00:07:56] 你去玩儿

[00:07:58] 下蛋的小火鸡

[00:08:00] 好好的

[00:08:00] 别闹

[00:08:01] 您说那是小伙计

[00:08:03] 对小伙计啊

[00:08:05] 我给您打下手儿

[00:08:06] 对了

[00:08:06] 呃

[00:08:07] 这两个人一喝

[00:08:08] 咱们俩合作一回

[00:08:09] 我可不太会

[00:08:10] 我看了看时间

[00:08:10] 还有两分钟

[00:08:11] 咱俩合作一回好不好

[00:08:13] 不是我就跟着您学是吧

[00:08:15] 对啊

[00:08:15] 就顺嘴搭音儿就行啊对对

[00:08:17] 您的

[00:08:17] 这个就是考您的脑子啦啊

[00:08:19] 考什么呀

[00:08:20] 这个找钱算账

[00:08:22] 撒谎圆谎

[00:08:23] 找钱算账没问题就撒谎

[00:08:25] 圆谎是说这个东西干什么用的

[00:08:27] 穿在哪儿用在哪儿都得说得上来哦

[00:08:30] 我得帮你圆传着说

[00:08:32] 对我跟着你学

[00:08:33] 对

[00:08:34] 咱来这就好比是故意拉

[00:08:36] 对了

[00:08:36] 好好开始了啊

[00:08:38] 到了马蒂罐儿啊

[00:08:42] 杩罐

[00:08:43] 哦哦

[00:08:43] 您在这儿耷拉马蒂罐儿啊

[00:08:47] 大拉马蒂罐儿啊

[00:08:51] 你是不是弱智啊

[00:08:54] 你提这事干嘛

[00:08:55] 你不

[00:08:59] 你别闹

[00:09:00] 真弱智啊

[00:09:01] 弱智天猫有药吗

[00:09:04] 对对对

[00:09:05] 冷库有要你们自己不吃

[00:09:12] 你先等会儿

[00:09:13] 我大马褂你得往下一喝呀

[00:09:15] 哦

[00:09:15] 不一样

[00:09:16] 我得往下一喝

[00:09:17] 当然啦

[00:09:18] 哎哟

[00:09:19] 您来您来您来

[00:09:20] 耷拉马蒂罐儿啊

[00:09:23] 二了马蒂罐儿啊

[00:09:27] 翻了马蒂关赫拉马蒂乌拉玛地瓜溜

[00:09:37] 你叫给我来点儿

[00:09:38] 给他吃一点儿好不好

[00:09:40] 不是你不让我往下一往下一扣

[00:09:43] 就这么一马褂排队来了

[00:09:45] 那往下一喝

[00:09:46] 神马贯穿在哪儿用在哪儿啊

[00:09:48] 马快步外套在外边

[00:09:50] 那你吆喝出来呀

[00:09:52] 怎么吆喝呀

[00:09:53] 跑到了外边儿啊

[00:09:57] 嗨

[00:09:58] 你没说明白呀

[00:10:00] 明白了吗

[00:10:01] 我这吆喝着用处

[00:10:02] 对了

[00:10:03] 沙拉玛蒂罐儿啊

[00:10:05] 套在外边儿啊

[00:10:08] 没有袖子啊

[00:10:10] 那不坎肩儿吗

[00:10:12] 你吆喝出来呀

[00:10:14] 这怎么吆喝

[00:10:15] 那是坎肩儿啊

[00:10:19] 您

[00:10:20] 您这是什么姿势哦

[00:10:23] 这我往下跳啊

[00:10:25] 啊

[00:10:26] 大了马蒂官儿啊

[00:10:28] 跑在外边儿啊

[00:10:30] 没有袖子啊

[00:10:32] 那是坎肩儿啊

[00:10:33] 买裤子喽

[00:10:35] 两辣条地腿儿

[00:10:37] 一条腿儿啊

[00:10:39] 一条腿都不扣

[00:10:40] 那是口袋哟

[00:10:44] 三条腿儿啊

[00:10:47] 没法儿穿四条腿儿啊

[00:10:50] 两个人儿穿都五条腿儿啊

[00:10:55] 那是手套哦

[00:11:03] 行啦行啦

[00:11:04] 还想呢

[00:11:05] 咱俩谁弱智

[00:11:06] 往下来找钱算账了啊

[00:11:08] 买炮去哦

[00:11:10] 有个令字哦

[00:11:11] 有袖子啊

[00:11:13] 有的面底花

[00:11:14] You re a ur r da 的年底堆儿啊

[00:11:17] 怎么那么厚啊

[00:11:18] 亲娘续DR

[00:11:20] 后娘当的呀

[00:11:21] 当多少

[00:11:23] 五六毛啊

[00:11:26] 一块哟

[00:11:28] 我给你两块二啊

[00:11:31] 我找你一块哟

[00:11:34] 我给你三块八呀

[00:11:37] 我找你两块七呀

[00:11:41] 我给你186 块三毛二分五哦

[00:11:48] 咱们咱们支付宝您这账头也太没有智力

[00:11:59] 没有智力不谁也算不上来

[00:12:01] 我就能算得上来

[00:12:02] 你能算出来

[00:12:03] 当然啦

[00:12:03] 我问你啊

[00:12:05] 我给你136 块八毛四分五哦

[00:12:07] 我留下一块一呀

[00:12:09] 剩下都给你呀

[00:12:11] 算下来了