《Word Crimes》歌词

[00:00:00] Word Crimes - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇)

[00:00:01] Everybody shut up WOO

[00:00:09] Everyone listen up

[00:00:11] Hey hey hey uh

[00:00:13] Hey hey hey

[00:00:18] If you can't write in the proper way

[00:00:22] If you don't know how to conjugate

[00:00:26] Maybe you flunked that class

[00:00:28] And maybe now you find

[00:00:29] That people mock you online

[00:00:33] Okay now here's the deal

[00:00:35] I'll try to educate ya

[00:00:37] Gonna familiarize

[00:00:39] You with the nomenclature

[00:00:41] You'll learn the definitions

[00:00:43] Of nouns and prepositions

[00:00:45] Literacy's your mission

[00:00:47] And that's why I think it's a

[00:00:49] Good time

[00:00:51] To learn some grammar

[00:00:53] Now did I stammer

[00:00:55] Work on that grammar

[00:00:56] You should know when

[00:00:59] It's "less" or it's "fewer"

[00:01:01] Like people who were

[00:01:03] Never raised in a sewer

[00:01:04] I hate these word crimes

[00:01:07] Like I could care less

[00:01:09] That means you do care

[00:01:11] At least a little

[00:01:12] Don't be a moron

[00:01:15] You'd better slow down

[00:01:17] And use the right pronoun

[00:01:19] Show the world you're no clown

[00:01:20] Everybody wise up

[00:01:20] Say you got an "I" "T"

[00:01:22] Followed by apostrophe "s"

[00:01:25] Now what does that mean

[00:01:26] You would not use

[00:01:27] "it's" in this case

[00:01:29] As a possessive

[00:01:30] It's a contraction

[00:01:32] What's a contraction

[00:01:34] Well it's the shortening of a word

[00:01:35] Or a group of words

[00:01:35] By the omission of a sound or letter

[00:01:37] Okay now here's some notes

[00:01:38] Syntax you're always mangling

[00:01:40] No "x" in "espresso"

[00:01:42] Your participle's danglin'

[00:01:44] But I don't want your drama

[00:01:46] If you really wanna

[00:01:48] Leave out that Oxford comma

[00:01:50] Just keep in mind

[00:01:51] That "be" "see" "are" "you"

[00:01:54] Are words not letters

[00:01:56] Get it together

[00:01:58] Use your spellchecker

[00:01:59] You should never

[00:02:02] Write words using numbers

[00:02:04] Unless you're seven

[00:02:06] Or your name is Prince

[00:02:07] I hate these word crimes

[00:02:10] You really need a

[00:02:12] Full time proofreader

[00:02:13] You dumb mouth-breather

[00:02:15] Well you should hire

[00:02:18] Some cunning linguist

[00:02:19] To help you distinguish

[00:02:22] What is proper English

[00:02:24] One thing I ask of you

[00:02:25] Time to learn your homophones

[00:02:26] Is past due

[00:02:27] Learn to diagram a sentence too

[00:02:29] Always say "to whom"

[00:02:30] Don't ever say "to who"

[00:02:31] And listen up when I tell you this

[00:02:33] I hope you never use quotation

[00:02:34] Marks for emphasis

[00:02:35] You finished second grade

[00:02:36] I hope you can tell

[00:02:37] If you're doing good or doing well

[00:02:39] About better figure out the difference

[00:02:41] Irony is not coincidence

[00:02:42] And I thought that you'd gotten it

[00:02:44] Through your skull

[00:02:44] What's figurative and what's literal

[00:02:47] Oh but just now you said

[00:02:49] You literally couldn't get out of bed

[00:02:51] That really makes me want to literally

[00:02:52] Smack a crowbar upside

[00:02:53] Your stupid head

[00:02:54] I read your e-mail

[00:02:57] It's quite apparent

[00:02:59] Your grammar's errant

[00:03:01] You're incoherent

[00:03:02] Saw your blog post

[00:03:05] It's really fantastic

[00:03:07] That was sarcastic

[00:03:08] (Oh psych )

[00:03:09] 'Cause you write like a spastic

[00:03:10] I hate these Word Crimes

[00:03:13] Your prose is dopey

[00:03:15] Think you should only

[00:03:17] Write in emoji

[00:03:18] Oh you're a lost cause

[00:03:21] Go back to pre-school

[00:03:22] Get out of the gene pool

[00:03:24] Try your best to not drool

[00:03:27] Never mind I give up

[00:03:32] Really now I give up

[00:03:34] Hey hey hey

[00:03:36] Hey hey hey

[00:03:38] Go Away