《Trapped In The Drive-Thru (Parody of ”Trapped In The Closet” by R. Kelly)》歌词

[00:10:51] "Trapped In The Drive-Thru (Parody of ""Trapped In The Closet"" by R. Kelly)" - Weird Al Yankovic

[00:10:51] Seven o'clock in the evening

[00:10:51] Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV

[00:10:51] I'm zoned out on the sofa

[00:10:51] When my wife comes in the room and sees me

[00:10:51] And she says, ‽Is this 'Behind the Music'

[00:10:51] With Lynyrd Skynyrd?"

[00:10:51] And I say, "I don't know, say, it's gettin' late

[00:10:51] What cha wanna do for dinner?”

[00:10:51] She says, "I kinda had a big lunch

[00:10:51] So I'm not super hungry"

[00:10:51] I said, "Well you know, baby

[00:10:51] I'm not starvin' either but I could eat"

[00:10:51] She said, "So what do you have in mind?"

[00:10:51] I said, "I don't know, what about you?"

[00:10:51] She says, "I don't care, if you're hungry let's eat"

[00:10:51] I said, "That's what we're gonna do!"

[00:10:51] "But first you gotta tell me

[00:10:51] What it is you're hungry for!"

[00:10:51] And she says, "Let me think

[00:10:51] What's left in our refrigerator?"

[00:10:51] I said, "Well, there's tuna, I know"

[00:10:51] She said, "That went bad a week ago!"

[00:10:51] I said, "Is the chili okay?"

[00:10:51] She said, "You finished that yesterday!"

[00:10:51] I hopped up and I said, "I don't know

[00:10:51] Do you want to get something delivered?"

[00:10:51] She's like, "Why would I want to eat liver?

[00:10:51] I don't even like liver!"

[00:10:51] I'm like, "No, I said 'delivered' "

[00:10:51] She's like, "I heard you say liver!"

[00:10:51] I'm like, "I should know what I said"

[00:10:51] She's like, "Whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

[00:10:51] Well, I was gonna say something

[00:10:51] But my cell phone started to ring

[00:10:51] Now who could be callin' me?

[00:10:51] Well I checked my caller ID

[00:10:51] It was just cousin Larry callin'

[00:10:51] For the third time today

[00:10:51] My wife said, "Let it go to voicemail"

[00:10:51] I said, "Okay"

[00:10:51] "Where were we? Oh, dinner, right

[00:10:51] So what do you wanna do?"

[00:10:51] She said, "Why don't you whip up somethin' in the kitchen?"

[00:10:51] "Yeah?" I said, "Why don't you?"

[00:10:51] And then she says

[00:10:51] "Baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"

[00:10:51] I says no, she says yes, I says no, she says yes

[00:10:51] I says no, she says yes, oh, here's your keys"

[00:10:51] I step a little bit closer

[00:10:51] Say, "Okay, where ya wanna go?"

[00:10:51] She says, "How about The Ivy?"

[00:10:51] I said, "Yeah, well I don't know"

[00:10:51] ‽I don't feel like, gettin' all dressed up

[00:10:51] And eatin' expensive food”

[00:10:51] She's says, "Olive Garden?"

[00:10:51] I say, "Nah, I'm not in the mood

[00:10:51] ‽And Burrito King would make me gassy

[00:10:51] There's no doubt"

[00:10:51] She says, "Just forget about it"

[00:10:51] I said, "No, I swear I'm gonna take you out!"

[00:10:51] Then I get an idea

[00:10:51] I say, "I know what we'll do!"

[00:10:51] She says, "What?" I say, "Guess"

[00:10:51] She says, "What?" I say, "We're goin' to the drive-thru!"

[00:10:51] So we head out the front door

[00:10:51] Open the garage door

[00:10:51] Then I open the car doors

[00:10:51] And we get in those car doors

[00:10:51] Put my key in the ignition

[00:10:51] And then I turn it sideways

[00:10:51] Then we fasten our seat belts

[00:10:51] As we pull out the driveway

[00:10:51] Then we drive to the drive-thru

[00:10:51] Heading off to the drive-thru

[00:10:51] We're approaching the drive-thru

[00:10:51] Getting close to the drive-thru

[00:10:51] Almost there at the drive-thru

[00:10:51] Now we're here at the drive thru

[00:10:51] Here in line at the drive-thru

[00:10:51] Did I mention the drive-thru?

[00:10:51] Well, here we are in the drive-thru line

[00:10:51] Me and her

[00:10:51] Cars in front of us, cars in back of us

[00:10:51] All just waiting to order

[00:10:51] There's some idiot in a Volvo

[00:10:51] With his brights on behind me

[00:10:51] I lean out the window and scream

[00:10:51] "Hey, what cha tryin' to do, blind me?"

[00:10:51] My wife says, "Maybe we should park

[00:10:51] We could just go eat inside"

[00:10:51] I said, "I'm wearin' bunny slippers

[00:10:51] So I ain't leavin' this ride"

[00:10:51] Now a woman on a speaker box

[00:10:51] Is sayin', "Can I take your order, please?"

[00:10:51] I said, "Yes indeed, you certainly can

[00:10:51] We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese"

[00:10:51] Then my wife says

[00:10:51] "Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!

[00:10:51] I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich

[00:10:51] Instead this time"

[00:10:51] I said, "You always get a cheeseburger!"

[00:10:51] She says, "That's not what I'm hungry for"

[00:10:51] I put my head in my hands and scream

[00:10:51] "I don't know who you are anymore!"

[00:10:51] The voice on the speaker says

[00:10:51] "I don't have all day!"

[00:10:51] I said, "Then take our order

[00:10:51] And we'll be on our way!

[00:10:51] "I wanna get a chicken sandwich

[00:10:51] And I want a cheeseburger too"

[00:10:51] She's like, "You want onions on that?"

[00:10:51] I'm like, "Yeah, I already said that I do”

[00:10:51] ‽Plus we need curly fries

[00:10:51] And don't you dare forget it

[00:10:51] And two medium root beers

[00:10:51] No, just one, we'll split it"

[00:10:51] Then I said, "I'm guessin' that

[00:10:51] You're probably not too bright

[00:10:51] So read me back my order

[00:10:51] Let's make sure you got it right"

[00:10:51] She says, "One, you want a chicken sandwich

[00:10:51] Two, you want a cheeseburger

[00:10:51] Three, curly fries and a large root beer"

[00:10:51] "Stop, don't go no further!"

[00:10:51] "I never ordered a large root beer

[00:10:51] I said medium, not large!"

[00:10:51] Then she says, "We're havin' a special

[00:10:51] I super-sized you at no charge"

[00:10:51] "Oh"

[00:10:51] And that's all I could say was "oh"

[00:10:51] And she says, "Now there's somethin' else

[00:10:51] That I really think you should know”

[00:10:51] ‽You can have unlimited refills

[00:10:51] For just a quarter more"

[00:10:51] I say, "Great, except we're in the drive-thru

[00:10:51] So what would I want that for?"

[00:10:51] Then she says, "Wait a minute

[00:10:51] Your voice sounds so familiar, hey, is this Paul?

[00:10:51] And my wife is all like, "No, that ain't Paul

[00:10:51] Now tell me, who's this Paul?”

[00:10:51] She says, "Oh, he's just some guy

[00:10:51] Who goes to school with me

[00:10:51] I sat behind him last year

[00:10:51] And I copied off of him in Geometry”

[00:10:51] I said, "I know a guy named Paul

[00:10:51] He used to be my plumber

[00:10:51] He was prematurely bald

[00:10:51] And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer”

[00:10:51] ‽He also had bladder problems

[00:10:51] And a really bad infection on his toe"

[00:10:51] And she says, "Mister, please, you can stop right there

[00:10:51] That's way more than I needed to know!"

[00:10:51] And then we both were quiet

[00:10:51] And things got real intense

[00:10:51] And then she says, "Next window please,

[00:10:51] That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

[00:10:51] So we inched ahead in line

[00:10:51] Movin' painfully slow

[00:10:51] I got a little bored

[00:10:51] So I turned on the radio

[00:10:51] Click, turned it off

[00:10:51] Because my wife was getting a headache

[00:10:51] So we both just sat there quietly

[00:10:51] For her sake

[00:10:51] Then I looked at her

[00:10:51] And she looked back at me

[00:10:51] And I said, "Um

[00:10:51] I think you have somethin' in your teeth"

[00:10:51] She turned away from me

[00:10:51] And then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"

[00:10:51] I said, "Yeah, well, I mean, most of it

[00:10:51] But hey, ya know, don't sweat it"

[00:10:51] Then she said, "How about now?"

[00:10:51] I said, "Yeah, almost

[00:10:51] There's still a little bit there but don't worry

[00:10:51] It's probably just a piece of toast"

[00:10:51] Now we're at the pay window

[00:10:51] Or whatever you call it

[00:10:51] Put my hand in my pocket

[00:10:51] I can't believe there's no wallet!

[00:10:51] And the lady at the window's like

[00:10:51] "Well well well, that'll be five eighty-two"

[00:10:51] I turn around to my wife and say

[00:10:51] "How much have you got on you?"

[00:10:51] She just rolls her eyes and says

[00:10:51] "I'll pay for this I guess"

[00:10:51] So she reaches into her purse

[00:10:51] And busts out the American Express

[00:10:51] I hand it to the lady

[00:10:51] And she says, "Oh dear

[00:10:51] It's gotta be cash only

[00:10:51] We don't take credit cards here"

[00:10:51] I took back the card and said

[00:10:51] "Gee, really? Well that sucks!"

[00:10:51] And that's when I found out

[00:10:51] My wife was only carryin' three bucks

[00:10:51] I said, "I thought you were

[00:10:51] Going to hit the ATM today"

[00:10:51] She says, "I never got around to it

[00:10:51] So where's your wallet anyway?”

[00:10:51] And I said, "Nevermind

[00:10:51] Just help me to find some change"

[00:10:51] Now the lady at the window

[00:10:51] Is looking at me kinda strange

[00:10:51] And she says, "Mister, please

[00:10:51] We gotta move this line along"

[00:10:51] I said, "Now hold your stinkin' horses lady

[00:10:51] We won't be long"

[00:10:51] So I looked around inside the glove box

[00:10:51] And checked the mat beneath my feet

[00:10:51] I found a nickel in an ashtray

[00:10:51] And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between the seats

[00:10:51] Before long I had a little pile

[00:10:51] Of coins of every sort

[00:10:51] The lady counts it up and says

[00:10:51] "You're still about a dollar short"

[00:10:51] And now my woman's got this weird look

[00:10:51] Frozen on her face

[00:10:51] She screams, "You know

[00:10:51] I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

[00:10:51] And so I turned around

[00:10:51] To the cashier again

[00:10:51] I shrugged and said, "Okay

[00:10:51] Forget the chicken sandwich then"

[00:10:51] So I pick up my change

[00:10:51] Pick up my receipt

[00:10:51] And I drive to the pickup window

[00:10:51] Man, I just can't wait to eat

[00:10:51] And now we see this acne ridden

[00:10:51] Kid about sixteen

[00:10:51] Wearin' a dorky nametag that says

[00:10:51] "Hello, my name is Eugene"

[00:10:51] And he hands me a paper bag

[00:10:51] I look him in the eyes

[00:10:51] And I say to him "Hey, Eugene

[00:10:51] Could I get some ketchup for my fries?"

[00:10:51] Well he looks at me

[00:10:51] And I look at him

[00:10:51] And he looks at me

[00:10:51] And I look at him

[00:10:51] And he looks at me

[00:10:51] And I look at him

[00:10:51] And he says, "I'm sorry

[00:10:51] What did you want again?"

[00:10:51] I say, "Ketchup!"

[00:10:51] And he says, "Oh yeah, that's right

[00:10:51] I just spaced out there for a second

[00:10:51] I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

[00:10:51] And then he hands me the ketchup

[00:10:51] And then we're finally drivin' away

[00:10:51] And the food is drivin' me mad

[00:10:51] With its intoxicating bouquet

[00:10:51] I'm starvin' to death

[00:10:51] By the time we pull up at the traffic light

[00:10:51] I say, "Baby, gimme that burger

[00:10:51] I just gotta have a bite!"

[00:10:51] So she reaches in the bag

[00:10:51] And pulls out the burger

[00:10:51] And she hands me the burger

[00:10:51] And I pick up the burger

[00:10:51] And then I unwrap the paper

[00:10:51] I bite into those buns

[00:10:51] And I just can't believe it

[00:10:51] They forgot the onions!