《Holy (Album Version)》歌词

[00:00:04] I eat only sleep and air

[00:00:08] And everyone thinks I'm dumb

[00:00:11] But I'm smart because I've figured it out

[00:00:16] I am slimmer than you are

[00:00:18] And I am burning my skin off little by little

[00:00:23] Until I reach bone and self

[00:00:27] Until I get to where I am essential

[00:00:30] Until I get to where I am

[00:00:33] Food doesn't tempt me anymore

[00:00:35] Because I am so full of energy and sense

[00:00:38] I can even pass by water now

[00:00:41] Because I am living off the parts of me

[00:00:43] That I don't need anymore

[00:00:47] I could feel the slow drips of pain before

[00:00:49] Swirling inside where my lungs should have been

[00:00:54] Now I'm clean inside

[00:00:57] I threw out hundreds of things that I didn't need anymore

[00:01:00] All my dresses and bras

[00:01:03] Stupid things like jeans and socks

[00:01:07] Most days I float through the house naked

[00:01:10] So I can see myself in the mirrors

[00:01:13] I have hundreds of them everywhere

[00:01:15] And they talk back to me all the time

[00:01:20] They keep me true and pure

[00:01:24] They make sure I'm still here

[00:01:28] When I knew what I had to do

[00:01:30] I took all my notebooks all my manuscripts

[00:01:32] And ate them page by page

[00:01:34] So I could take my words with me

[00:01:38] I can finally control my life and even death

[00:01:44] And I will die slowly like steam escaping from a pipe

[00:01:50] This is my greatest performance

[00:01:52] And all of the actresses who won my parts will say

[00:01:55] How wonderful to let yourself go that mad

[00:01:58] How wonderful to go on this kind of journey

[00:02:02] And not care if you come back to tell the story

[00:02:06] I scratch words on the walls now

[00:02:08] So people will visit this museum and know

[00:02:11] How someone like me ends up like this

[00:02:15] They'll say there is art in here somewhere

[00:02:20] Everything that comes out of me is sacred

[00:02:22] Every tear every cough every piss

[00:02:26] Everything that comes off of me is sacred

[00:02:28] Every fingernail every eyelash every hair

[00:02:33] Starvation is sacred and I scratch my bones

[00:02:38] Against the windows at night

[00:02:40] I light candles and feel myself evaporate

[00:02:46] This body is a little church a little temple

[00:02:51] You can't see me now because I've gone inside

[00:02:57] My family doesn't call anymore

[00:03:00] My friends don't call anymore

[00:03:02] You can't hurt me anymore

[00:03:03] They can't hurt me anymore

[00:03:05] Only I can

[00:03:08] And that's okay

[00:03:10] I don't need them anymore

[00:03:13] I can live off of me

[00:03:15] I speak to me

[00:03:16] I dance with me

[00:03:18] I eat me

[00:03:23] When they find me I'll have a little smile on my face

[00:03:25] And they'll wrap me in a white cloth and lay me in the ground

[00:03:30] And say they don't understand

[00:03:34] But I do

[00:03:37] I don't hurt anymore

[00:03:40] I'm not lonely anymore

[00:03:42] I'm not sad I'm not pretty anymore

[00:03:45] I made it through

[00:03:49] I feel so holy and clean when I stretch out on the floor and sing

[00:03:54] Sometimes god comes in for a minute and says I'm doing fine I'm almost there

[00:04:04] Every day I get a little closer to vanishing

[00:04:07] Some days I can't stand up because the room moves under my feet

[00:04:12] And I smile because I'm almost there

[00:04:16] I'm almost an angel

[00:04:20] One day when I am thin enough

[00:04:24] I'll go outside

[00:04:25] Fluttering my hands so I can fly

[00:04:29] And I will be so slight that I will pass through all of you

[00:04:36] Silently

[00:04:38] Like wind