《Struck By A Vehicle》歌词

[00:00:00] Struck By A Vehicle - Dane Cook

[00:00:02] Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true

[00:00:04] I finally got to see something I've always wanted to witness live

[00:00:08] I finally saw someone get hit by a car

[00:00:13] Nailed this guy got hit right in the hip

[00:00:16] That's your center of gravity

[00:00:18] And that sends you flipping through the air

[00:00:19] Like eddie gordo from tekken when someone doesn't know

[00:00:21] How to do combos and they're just hitting the buttons randomly

[00:00:28] I always just miss it right

[00:00:29] I'm looking and then I go to order my twisty cone

[00:00:34] Oh what what happened

[00:00:36] The guy got hit no

[00:00:38] I just went to order my twisty cone and I missed it

[00:00:42] This guy gets nailed this is the setup

[00:00:45] He's walking down the street and

[00:00:47] He's doing that whacky speed walk

[00:00:50] He's got the buds in his ears and

[00:00:51] I don't know what you're listening to

[00:00:54] That makes you do this f**king walk

[00:00:56] Maybe just a tambourine or maracas

[00:00:59] You're just

[00:01:02] So Johnny Tambourine is walking down the street

[00:01:07] He's got the not a good time to cross signal

[00:01:12] As he's going across

[00:01:13] I see the car coming down the street

[00:01:16] When I see the car coming I'm like

[00:01:17] Yesssss finally don't talk to me don't talk to me

[00:01:21] I gotta see this

[00:01:25] The guy goes flying into the air his shoes flew off

[00:01:30] When you get hit by a car

[00:01:31] Sometimes your shoes will fly off

[00:01:33] Sometimes your pants will come off

[00:01:36] But I was not fortunate enough to see the pants

[00:01:38] Portion on this strike

[00:01:42] And before I go any further here's the best part

[00:01:44] This is how he lands on the other side of the car

[00:01:48] Which was a dodge by the way

[00:01:50] And I thought that was kind of funny and ironic

[00:01:52] I just I got a little humor out of that

[00:01:58] I did try to help this man

[00:02:00] As the car was coming towards him

[00:02:02] I reached out and I said

[00:02:05] Ohhhhh

[00:02:09] Ohhhhh

[00:02:11] That's all I could think of to say

[00:02:13] Theres so many things now in retrospect that

[00:02:15] I would love

[00:02:15] I would love to have been like

[00:02:16] You're about to get struck by a vehicle

[00:02:19] I did not have time to say

[00:02:20] You're about to get struck by a vehicle

[00:02:21] So I went with ohhhhh

[00:02:24] Which is like a concerned moan

[00:02:27] The guy gets tagged okay the greatest part of the story

[00:02:30] He's in the air flipping around

[00:02:32] This is how he lands on the other side of the car

[00:02:35] He comes down perfectly on his feet and then

[00:02:38] He jumps in the air

[00:02:39] And he starts walking around embarassed

[00:02:46] He's trying to play it off like

[00:02:47] He didn't just get hit by a car

[00:02:52] People around him are like

[00:02:54] Oh my God oh my God

[00:02:54] Are you alright

[00:02:55] Are you okay

[00:02:56] He's like

[00:02:56] I'm fine I'm fine seriously

[00:02:57] I'm fine I'm a little bit hungry

[00:02:59] But uh other than that I'm fine

[00:03:01] No you should really sit down

[00:03:02] You're bleeding from the ears

[00:03:04] I know I know that I do that

[00:03:07] Every couple of weeks I empty the blood

[00:03:08] Out of my own head

[00:03:10] It's tradition in my family has anyone seen my shoes

[00:03:14] I kicked them off in a fit of joy

[00:03:17] I love getting struck by vehicles and sometimes

[00:03:19] I'll kick my shoes off in a fit of joy

[00:03:22] I'm fine I'm just gonna go over here

[00:03:23] And puke shards of my own

[00:03:24] Pelvis into this bush

[00:03:26] Puking noises