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《Uncle Harry》歌词

Uncle Harry

[00:00:00] Uncle Harry - Noel Coward

[00:00:01] Written by:Trad Coward

[00:00:06] My family has traditions

[00:00:08] I've heard them a thousand times

[00:00:09] My relatives were not excessively bright

[00:00:13] They love to go off on missions

[00:00:15] To rather peculiar climes

[00:00:16] And lead the wretched heathens to the light

[00:00:20] A few of them got beaten up

[00:00:21] In course of these rampages

[00:00:23] My dear Aunt Maud got eaten up

[00:00:25] While singing Rock of Ages

[00:00:27] These family expeditions

[00:00:28] Admittedly are a bore

[00:00:30] But there is just one uncle

[00:00:33] That I positively adore

[00:00:38] Poor Uncle Harry

[00:00:40] Wanted to be a missionary

[00:00:42] So he took a ship and sailed away

[00:00:45] This visionary

[00:00:46] Hotly pursued by dear Aunt Mary

[00:00:48] Found a south sea isle on which to stay

[00:00:52] The natives greeted them kindly and invited them to dine

[00:00:55] On yams and clams and human hams and vintage coconut wine

[00:00:59] The taste of which was filthy but the after effects divine

[00:01:02] Poor Uncle Harry

[00:01:04] Got a bit gay and longed to tarry

[00:01:06] This Aunt Mary couldn't quite allow

[00:01:09] She lectured him severely on a number of church affairs

[00:01:12] But when she'd gone to bed he made a getaway down the stairs

[00:01:16] For he longed to find the answer to a few of the maiden's prayers

[00:01:19] Uncle Harry's not a missionary now

[00:01:23] Poor Uncle Harry

[00:01:24] After a chat with dear Aunt Mary

[00:01:26] Thought the time had come to make a row

[00:01:30] He lined up all the older girls in one of the local sheds

[00:01:33] And while he was reviling them and tearing himself to shreds

[00:01:36] They took their Mother Hubbards off and tied them around their heads

[00:01:40] Uncle Harry's not a missionary now

[00:01:43] He's awfully happy

[00:01:44] But he's certainly not a missionary now

[00:01:54] Now uncle was just a seeker

[00:01:56] A dreamer sincerely blest

[00:01:57] Of this there couldn't be a shadow of doubt

[00:02:01] The fact that his flesh was weaker

[00:02:03] Than even Aunt Mary guessed

[00:02:04] Took even her some time to figure out

[00:02:08] In all those languid latitudes

[00:02:09] The atmosphere's exotic

[00:02:11] To take up moral attitudes

[00:02:13] Would be too idiotic

[00:02:15] Though nobody could be meeker

[00:02:16] Than uncle had been before

[00:02:18] I bet today he's giving way

[00:02:20] At practically every pore

[00:02:25] Poor Uncle Harry

[00:02:27] Having become a missionary

[00:02:28] Found the natives' morals rather crude

[00:02:32] He and Aunt Mary

[00:02:34] Quickly imposed an arbitrary

[00:02:36] Ban upon them shopping in the nude

[00:02:39] They all considered this silly and they didn't take it well

[00:02:42] They burned his boots and several suits and wrecked the mission hotel

[00:02:46] They also burnt his mackintosh which made a disgusting smell

[00:02:50] Poor Uncle Harry

[00:02:51] After some words with dear Aunt Mary

[00:02:53] Called upon the chiefs for a pow wow

[00:02:56] They didn't brandish knives at him they really were awfully sweet

[00:03:00] They made concerted dives at him and offered him things to eat

[00:03:03] But when they threw their wives at him he had to admit defeat

[00:03:07] Uncle Harry's not a missionary now

[00:03:10] Poor dear Aunt Mary

[00:03:12] Though it were revolutionary

[00:03:13] Thought her time had come to take a bow

[00:03:17] Poor Uncle Harry looked at her in who he had placed his trust

[00:03:21] His very last illusion broke and crumbled away to dust

[00:03:25] For she'd placed a flower behind her ear and frankly exposed her bust

[00:03:31] Uncle Harry's not a missionary now

[00:03:34] He's left the island

[00:03:35] But he's certainly not a missionary now