《The Christmas Sign (Album Version)》歌词

[00:00:01] The Christmas Sign (LP Version)-Bill Engvall

[00:00:06] Took my son to the mall the other day to see Santa Claus

[00:00:23] The woman in line behind me says 'hey is that Santa Claus up there'?

[00:00:29] I said 'no ma'm, it's a Kenny Rodgers stunt double'

[00:00:34] Here's your sign

[00:00:34] The other day I bought a wreath to go on our front door

[00:00:41] As I was walking out the store a man stopped me and said

[00:00:48] 'Hey, are you going to hang that on your door'?

[00:00:51] I said 'no sir, it's a christmas toilet seat cover,

[00:00:56] Got the idea from Martha Stewart'

[00:00:57] Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:01:01] You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign

[00:01:09] Oh!here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:01:19] You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign

[00:01:22] I hung those little christmas lights on my house,

[00:01:33] You know the kind that blink on and off

[00:01:39] My neighbor comes over and says

[00:01:41] 'Bill how do you get those to blink on and off like that'?

[00:01:43] I said 'I've got my son inside plugging and unplugging it,

[00:01:46] Plugging and unplugging it'

[00:01:47] Here's your sign

[00:01:48] I took my family to buy a christmas tree the other night

[00:01:50] When we walked onto the lot this guy walked up to me and says

[00:01:53] 'Hey, y'all here to buy a christmas tree?'

[00:01:55] I said, 'no sir, my son needs to go to the bathroom

[00:01:58] And these trees looked really inviting'

[00:02:02] Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:02:07] You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign

[00:02:11] Oh!here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:02:15] You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign

[00:02:22] Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:02:26] Have no fear when you're spreading cheer during christmas time

[00:02:34] The other night my family and I were walking

[00:02:39] Through the neighborhood looking at all the christmas decorations

[00:02:44] When we came across this house that had a manger scene

[00:02:49] Now there was this whole group of people looking at it when I overheard this one guy say

[00:02:57] 'Hey, are those the three wise men'?

[00:02:58] I said 'no sir that's z-z top doing a farming concert

[00:03:03] Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:03:07] You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign

[00:03:12] Oh!here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:03:22] You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign

[00:03:26] Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign

[00:03:37] (have no fear when you're spreading cheer during christmas time)

[00:03:39] And finally my wife and I were in a grocery store the other day

[00:03:54] And I heard a woman ask the clerk

[00:03:55] 'Do you know what time midnight mass starts on christmas eve'?

[00:03:57] And in the holiday spirit I walked over and said 'here's your sign'

[00:03:59] Happy holidays everybody!